My 9 1/2 month cries all of the time. I think he is spoiled. He ALWAYS wants attention and will not play by himself. He cries if I do not sit down and play with him. How can I remedy this?!!

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Tori - posted on 05/24/2009

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he is not spoiled at this age, do not worry that you are doing something wrong. It is VERY healthy for babies of the age to go through a period of strong attachment to their primary caregiver, The best thing to do, if you need to get things done and cannot play, is to get a comfy baby carrier and carry your baby while you do the laundry or the dishes. A mei tei type carrier, an ergo carrier, or a pouch sling would be perfect. My baby went through many periods like this when he would scream if I even turned my back! Just reassure your baby that you are there, and you will be instilling confidence and self-seteem for years to come. My boy is now 2 and plays independently and enjoys all types of new people. Good luck!

Cindy - posted on 05/24/2009

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He's a very young child, and he isn't old enough to entertain himself. Do you have a baby sling ? It would allow you to do things like fold the laundry, and do the dishes, and have him right there, but you'd still have both hands free. Really you're his constant sourse of entertainment, and thats all fine and good but it IS ok to put your baby in the swing, or in the playpen or in the exersaucer with a tv show on while you take a shower, or change out the laundry or do some cooking where it's not safe for him to be around. Also watch and figure out which toys are his favorite and encourage him to play with his favorite toys. It's very hard having a child that age who WANTS to do more but really can't. Also make sure you have a baby proofed and safe area, that he can explore on his own. If he's not crawling he soon will be, and that will help to ease some of his tension.

Tamara - posted on 05/24/2009

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Lets take a deep breath. Now repeat after me, "This is normal. My child is NOT spoiled." :) Cindy Page has really great advice in her post that is super practical.

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Shelagh - posted on 05/25/2009

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He's a clever old thing, isn't he - he cries, you come. he isn't spoiled - he's just worked out how to get what he wants, that's all. Of course he wants you to play with him. The trouble is, that's not always convenient, because there are other things you need to do. You can do a lot with a child on your hip. If you can't physically play with him (eg if you're cooking) try popping him in the high chair and singing songs to him while you work.

Dearne - posted on 05/25/2009

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a playpen is safe if there is nuthin dangerous u put in it this was wat i used wen i was inside the house with him whilst i doin the dishes or cleanin or wen it com to hanging the washin i used hes pram to take him along wit me constant reassurance was the best wit him that i was still there as long as he could here me it worked out well

Cindy - posted on 05/24/2009

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hehehehe i have 4 kids, it never gets easier really. There's a difference between creating bad habits (like holding your child at this age until they go to sleep, that WILL create bad habits that you will pay dearly for later) and paying attention to the child who's old enough to be active, but not old enough to do much about it. Also take a stroller, just a small umbrella stroller if there's not much room, and baby can sit in that and watch you as well if you have no where else to put her.

Mel - posted on 05/24/2009

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thats a really hard one. everyone used to say i spoiled my daughter way too much when she was little. i dont make this mistake now of course shes almost 14 months but they used to say to me Mel if you keep on holding her you are going to have big troubles later on. Now she just likes to play by herself on the floor its fantastic doesnt cry unless she hurts herself by climbing the couch or something which she knows she is not to do so i dont give her sympathy when she does hurt herself doing this. anyway its really hard when they are so attached, maybe you could try putting some toys in front of him like some blocks or something that plays music try playing with him for a few minutes then still watching him but going into another room tell him mummy is still here you can play by yourself now or something. with a child like that it would make it so very hard to make feeds and things i feel for u

Helen - posted on 05/24/2009

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my little man has alwasy been happy to play by himself as long as i am in eye sight. I got him a big sit in activity gym for when i am cooking and cleaning turns 360 degrees and has activities on all sides but keeps him contained which is ideal for when i am ironing, cooking or mowing the grass

Lori - posted on 05/24/2009

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Hold him now while you can when he is 15 months old you will be boring and you will only get to hold him when he is sick . the house won't fall apart in 8 months don't worry. The relationship you are establishing now will affect you relationship for the rest of your life. I would like to smack mommies that leave their infants to entertain themselves or be miserable.

Sally - posted on 05/24/2009

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My Mother In Law was a voice of reason within all the criticism (?) when mine were that age; My gran (god bless her, she's 96) and mother were all saying 'you'll spoil him" as I stopped washing dishes etc etc to hug my son's - while MIL suggested that it's impossible to spoil a child under 12months. There is no such thing as too much attention-before you know it the next baby is on the way and ur 2 exhausted to play chasesy's or 'blink' they're at school. I know we have other responsibilities but please try and cherish this moment for what it is.

My youngest started school this year and by gosh I miss them demanding my attention and wanting nothing more than a game with me - I cant wait to pick them up.

There will be a time in your life when you can have shiny floors and a sparkly bathroom-for now, enjoy what you have-That beng said I did have the benefit of an understanding husband who understood that there are only so many hours in the day and appreciated and agreed with my priorities - Thanks I guess to MIL.

Plenty of mum's have to go straight back to full time work and it's other people that the children beg to play with them...........There are no do overs

Sylvie - posted on 05/24/2009

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Hi Kristina, Start by playing games that allow you to get some distance. Such as hide and seek. As he starts to enjoy this game with you, you start to make your hide times a little longer. Remember to applaude him for finding you as well as being on his own while trying to find you. Eventually you can have him in the next room while you do dishes for example, but as you do them every now and then, peak your head around the corner to say "peak a boo" and he will start to enjoy your being apart from him in hopes of the little games while you are apart!



This really worked for me!!! Hope it works for you!

Dearne - posted on 05/24/2009

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hi there,the best thing that work for my son whilst he was playin wit by himself was 2 either leave a kids show on as well so he had that goin if he got distracted or i would keep tellin him mummy watch n slowin would walk away 2 do somethin esle i just kept constant reassurance wit him mite not b 2 helpful

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