my 9 year old son got in a fight on the bus. he can not ride the bus for 2 days. me and my parents are not seeing eye to eye on the punshiment that he should get. please help me so confussed

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011

I think that if he did all of that and then you let him get on the computer, you just rewarded him.
I agree he is YOUR child not your parents. But what you did was reinforce the behavior by letting him use the computer. Now he might think that when he misbehaves he just has to do a few things to get out of a total punishment. Just my opinion.

Wendy - posted on 11/17/2011

I agree with Marina this is your child and you should set any punishment for him...obviously unless you are not home when something comes up....I also would add food for thought...the punishment should fit the crime...he was baned from taking the bus i would add maybe him reading the bus rules and maybe writing them out to that and i would say thats that.....both have everything to do with the crime..........adding cleaning the bathroom only in my thinking is showing dominance and power ( listen to me im the boss) you eventualy want him to listen to rules beacuse he wants to and knows it the right thing to do...not beacuse he is bullied into it..mutual respect....just a thought

Medic - posted on 11/17/2011

My five year old looses his computer for a lot less than that. I think you can choose how you punish your own kid and it really does not matter what the rest of us think. Kids need rules and consistent consequences. For me personally there would be harsher punishments if my son did that, whether he was hit first or not. Especially if he had on going behavioral issues.

Amy - posted on 11/17/2011

If my son was in trouble multiple times during the day he would not have any computer privileges that night at home, it doesn't matter to me if he cleaned the house top to bottom. Although my son sounds a lot like Marina's he's an absolute angel at school but can be a little mouthy at home and he loses privileges often. I know he responds really well to the methods they use at school, try finding what is going to be motivating to him and use it to influence him to behave at school.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/17/2011

Also, if you are living with your parents, you all need to be on the same page as far as discipline goes. Sit down, and have a family meeting after your son goes to bed, and discuss all the appropriate ways to discipline that you see fit.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/17/2011

First of all, this is your child NOT your parents. Second of all, if you can sit down with the school and discuss the behavioral problems that you are having, they can offer some suggestions. I know how hard it can be. My son acts like an angel at school, and is honestly a pretty good kid....but when he is out of school, he can raise hell. I talked with the school, cause for me it was an authority issue. He thinks since he is at school all the time, that they are the only ones he needs to listen to. I have been having great success implementing the tools they gave me. Good luck.