My aunt and uncle have custody of my 4 children and they both have significant health issues. They are also brainwashing and alienating my children against me. I was involved in drugs for quite sometime but am currently 6 months clean and am doing extremly well. i am also seeing an a&d counsellor. I am currenlt in court for getting my children back but the courts are so backed up right now and it is taking along time. I want my children back very badly but I am afraid I am not going to get them back. How long will it take me to get my children back. The ministry was never involved with my children so will the judge give my children back. After all they are my kids. thanks

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Jodi - posted on 12/07/2012

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So you have been an addict for about 7 years? When you talk about prenatal records, what about you other children? Were you using when you were pregnant then? I can see their point. You weren't able to be a mother to your children, and seem to have willingly let them go. You can't expect, after 7 years of addiction and not being a parent to your children that this is going to be a fast process. You have a LOT to prove. They may be your children, but you have not been the one to raise them day in day out for years, you have not been there for them. I do think you should absolutely have visitation if you are clean, but just be aware, they may seek supervised visitation, and they may well get that.

Jodi - posted on 12/07/2012

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Do you really believe that your 10 year old only knows of your horrible past because she was brainwashed? You don't think that maybe because kids are very perceptive, and you were an addict, that she saw it for herself too? Kids are far more perceptive than we give them credit for. Just a thought.



Anyway, I am sure you will get visitation. Custody may not come until you've proven yourself reliable over a period of time. Have you been seeing them regularly anyway, in which case, is there already a visitation order in place?

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Cass - posted on 06/19/2013

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Hi I know this is from last year but I just wanted to say good luck adn I hope everything has worked out for you and your kids. My 3 children live with their aunty and uncle too (I wasn't on drugs but I was very depressed and wasn't coping) they've been there for just over 12 months and so far I can only see them once a month at their house (though that hasn't even been happening). So I am off to see a lawyer and all that very soon as they have breeched orders. I am happy if my kids want to stay where they are cos I know they have settled in at school with their friends and all that, but I really would like and I am hoping to get regular weekend access to them and eventually have them back full time. My kids are 8, 6 and almost 4. It is hard not seeing them everyday and I know how you feel.

Lost - posted on 12/07/2012

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michelle thank you for your feedback. honestly in all aspects of everything i ignore people who are discouraging and 2 of those people being my aunt and uncle. people act like they are savioours to my children whom they DID NOT have to take. they wanted my children. They also knew that I was going to come back one day when i sraightened my life out and want my children back. all i know is that i am trying my hardest and will not fail this time. heres a poem i wrote:



i sat back and smoked crack

wondering if i would ever come back

i sit back and wonder why

everyday i was getting high

4 beautiful kids waiting for me

thank god they didnt see

kept saying the stuff was ????

but always needing another hit

why i did this i dont know

all i can say is it was low

got so sick of getting high

i would rather live than die

Michelle - posted on 12/07/2012

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Connie, if you are doing your best.. I would say visitation and custody is in your favor.. Don't let others put you down. We all make mistakes and when we do..it takes a great person to own up to it. As for the aunt and uncle saying bad things about you isn't right in my opinion. I have to say the aunt or uncle is your sister? Anyhow, if you are living with your mom and that your mom has your back and has room for your children and don't have a bad rep. Well that is in your favor as well. You fight for your children and then your children will see that you are fighting for them because you love them. Yes, you may have had some bad things that you did.. who really hasn't? But you know something.. the good overweighs the bad.. If someone on here puts you down.. Heck with them and fight for it and don't give up..

Lost - posted on 12/07/2012

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i havent been seeing them regularly. my 10 year old i have been seeing easter,summer. they are not allowing me to see my children. it would be a very uncomfortable environment to have my visitaions at there house in kamloops b.c as they are both very against me now for straightening my life out. they dont even want my mother near there house. in court for all this, but just waiting for proceedings to happen. its a long process.

Lost - posted on 12/07/2012

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i had my 10 year old in my custody up to the age of 2.5 and then my life went to hell from there. my aunt and uncle have told my daughter that if i loved her i wouldnt have abandoned her and that i was a drug addict living on the streets. everytime my daughter came to visit her grandma in the summer she would say. grammy can we please go find my mom on the streets because i am worried she is not warm and she is going to die. i have never interfered with my aunt and uncle in raising my children whom they wanted i believe now for financial gain. my children were never forced on them, they wanted them. now they are going around to health professionals and giving them false information .they say there was prenatal exposure to drugs and alchol,but i was never an addict back then. i left with her frm the hospital and had her to the age of 2.5 when my mother then got custody, then my aunt and uncle got custody because my mother was working very long hours at work.e.t.c.. i just got her birth records back from the hospital and therer were no drugs detected and it was a perfect delivery.

Dove - posted on 12/07/2012

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If your youngest is only 2... It's highly likely that your 10 year old has formed her own opinions about you from the life she lived and witnessed herself. 7-8 year old kids are quite intelligent and perceptive.



No one here can tell you what your chances of getting your kids back are like... Stay clean, get stable (are you working and saving for a place of your own, etc...?), keep up the counseling...



If you are just in court now to try and get visitation rights.... there is no telling how long this will take or if you will ever regain custody. Courts generally don't like to tear families apart (at least in the US...), so if you haven't even been getting visitation up until now... Who knows?



Hang in there and don't give up!

Lost - posted on 12/07/2012

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thanks for replying. i have a 10 year old , 2,3,4 year old. i am in court for visitation rights at this time and then custody. my children have to get to know me better. my 10 year old knows that i am her mother but she also knows of my horrible past as my aunt and uncle have told her everything. my aunt and uncle said i will never get my kids back. i am currently living with my mother at this time. you made me feel better as i keep thinking i will never get them back. my counsellor has nothing bad to say about me. he said he will give me a letter for court to say that i am attending

Michelle - posted on 12/07/2012

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If the courts see that you are clean and you are trying to get your life back together. And you have a place ready for them and all is good on that too. remember.. social services will be involved and will check everything out.. so don't make any mistakes. make sure your home is clean and up and all.. cause they will say if it isnt, it isnt a good environment for the kids.. but like I said earlier, if you've gotten your act together, you should get your kids back. You more than likely after you get them back, they will be checked on once in a while for a certain period of time. How old are your kids anyways? If your kids are 12 and older, they can pick whom they want to live with. During the process, these children will be evaluated to see how things are with the aunt and uncle too. .. I think you have the chance getting them back.. But, you problably will be checked on from time to time

Question the counserlor that you see, does they have any negative things to say about you.. cause if so, it will go against you. if not, then they will back you up.

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