My baby boy sleeping in a different room

Katie - posted on 01/14/2010 ( 29 moms have responded )

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my son is 5 months old and ever since he was born he slept in our room and now he is outgrowing his bassinet and its time for him to sleep in his crib in his own room. i just dont feel right about letting him sleep in his own room.i know it will be harder for him to sleep in his room if he keeps sleeping in our room but its just i cant for some reason let go. it just makes me uncomfortable. I dont know what i could do to help me get over this of letting my son sleep in a different room?

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Janessa - posted on 01/21/2010

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I have had that feeling with all 3 of mine. My first was actually in her own room for the first 6 weeks, but then we had people staying with us and we moved her cradle into our room. My husband finally convinced me to move her back and I just did it. It was hard, I kept thinking I won't be able to hear her, or what if something happens, ect, ect. But it was fine. Then my last 2 boys, we had in our room until they were sleeping through the night, so as to not wake up the others since they share a room. I went through the same sense of difficulty letting go with them. But again it was fine. Sometimes its just a matter of jumping into the water. You just do it and have faith that everything will be fine. Its hard though, I know. If it weren't for my husband I might not have ever done it. But it is so nice when you get used to them being out, and all of a sudden you don't have to worry about waking the baby and it is just you and your husband again. Anyways, that's what worked for me.

Holly - posted on 01/19/2010

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putting a crib in the room with you wouldn't hurt him for now. i shared a room with my son until he was about 8 months old. once you decide to let him sleep in his own room, just use a baby monitor. its what really helped me.

Caitlyn - posted on 01/19/2010

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I was the same way, we moved our son into his own room the day he turned 4 months and we were both checking on him all night. It helped me though to put him in his crib, in his room during the day when he napped. He started to enjoy the roomy crib and quiet room so much that when I put him in our room for one night he wouldn't sleep. You just have to go at a pace that's comfortable for all of you.

Tara - posted on 01/18/2010

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I had the same problem with my son. He was my first child and I am a stay at home, so I was with him all day everyday. I love it. When it came time for him to sleep in a different room I was so uneasy and worried. I would get up about every 20 minutes and go check on him. He is 16 months old and I'm still kind of uneasy, but I know that he is fine and if he needs me for something he will let me know. Now it's about time for daughter to sleep in a different room, so I'm going through it all over again.

Mariaan - posted on 01/18/2010

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Hi Katie,



I agree with the "go with your instinct" theory. Every mother and child unit differs and you have to do what feels right for you and your son, any other strategy will cause unnescessary angst. Let nature run its course, my son is 6 months old and I am trusting that soon he will let me know that he is ready for a greater challenge. I am trusting my intuition to know when the time is right for us too to make the move to his own room. He loves his little room and always takes his naps in his crib so I hope that when he is ready he will love spending the night in there. We will of course have all the trimmings, night light, favourite blankie, baby monitor etc.

Brandy - posted on 01/17/2010

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Everything I've read suggests that letting your little one sleep in your room on his/her own sleeping surface (crib, bassinet, co-sleeper, etc) is actually better for them than putting them in their own room. A pamphlet I picked up on good sleeping habits states that there are fewer incidents of SIDS when the baby can sleep in the same room as the parents. We are going to keep her in our room until she's a year old.

Tammy - posted on 01/17/2010

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Well, I was a single mother, so I handled the situation completely different than most. I didn't worry myself at all about moving them into their own room. My oldest son, who is now 20, slept in my room until he started Kindergarten when he told me he wanted to sleep in his own bed. He did, but honestly on many nights, he would come creep into my bed because "he didn't want me to be scared". Those nights got fewer and fewer and until they eventually stopped. My daughter was the same, only her nights in my room lasted longer. She was scared of the dark (my son wasn't) to the point of not wanting ANYone in the dark. She was convinced there were bad things there so she wanted everyone safe from them. She's 15 now, so she clearly she now knows nothings hiding in dark corners, but she'll still snuggle up with me once in a while for old times sake. I now have a 4 year old son that isn't scared of anything that I can think of, but he hates to sleep alone. He still either sleeps with me or his big sister. He lays in bed and watches cartoons, etc... and at times falls asleep there where we leave him, but usually wakes up during the night and climbs into bed with one of us. I can't tell you how he'll turn out, but I can tell you that my other two children are perfectly normal and perfectly healthy. No long term scars or side effects to not sleeping in their own room right away. I may have gotten a few more good nights sleep with a room to myself, but I never felt I was making a sacrifice. I honestly felt it to be a great bonding experience. Again, I was a single mom so it wasn't as imposing as it may be to a couple, but I've never understood the rush or concern over this issue. I would say do it when you and your child are comfortable doing it.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/17/2010

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i know its hard to put your lil one in thier own room for the first time but if your not ready it wont hurt to keep him in your room longer mine stayed in my room til they were at least 1 yr. made me feel better knowing if something was wrong i was right there to get them taken care of

Joann - posted on 01/17/2010

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My daughter is 4 months old. She has been sleeping in her room since she was 3 1/2 months. If it was up to my husband she would still be sleeping in our room. He would love to have her sleep with us, but I never let her. I have friends that still have there kids sleep in there bed and they are 5 years old. No way, plus I was getting ready to go back to work and wanted Sophie in her own room. Beleive me the first night I had her in her room I wanted to roll her back to mine. But I had to be strong. Good luck

Stella - posted on 01/17/2010

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The transiton will be easy when its time, You can start letting him take his daily nap in his crib and see how that goes, He will definitely sleep better in his crib because its much bigger than the bassinet, My son was in our room until he was a year old, But Always in his own bed, only because I had a fear of rolling over on top of him,. Good Luck! Do what you feel in your heart is the right thing.

Rachel - posted on 01/17/2010

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hi hun my son was 4 months when he went into his own room as i kept having bad coughs so it kept waking him, so i thought put him in his own room and he sleeps better, but i do have baby monitors on constant throughout the night so it is as if he is still with me but he cant hear me. but im glad he went into his own room now, but your own instincts will tell you when its right, good luck

Danielle - posted on 01/17/2010

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I was worried about putting my 4 month old in his own room but wanted to try to see if it helped him sleep... It did!!! It may have been cos he couldnt smell my breast milk (before that he wanted a feed every time he woke up). I dont know what it was but it worked :) He is now 6 months old and sleeps 11 or 12 hours straight a night. Do what u feel is right for you though. Every baby and mummy are different :)

Sherril - posted on 01/17/2010

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Your child, your family, your consequences (preferable or not). I'll share my experience. My first son had his own room from the start but slept in a cradle at the end of our bed until I was done breastfeeding. Since I worked, that was only 4 months. Then we moved him to his own room and kept the monitor on. At 6 months, the doctor was adamant about telling me he should sleep through the night and to let him cry since he wasn't eating enough to get full - so, two nights later, he was sleeping all night.

2nd child, 13 years later, it was like starting all over again, but this time I wasn't afraid to get done what needed to be done. I was very sick so I kept my baby close to me in a bassinet. Then he went into his crib IN MY ROOM, then we moved him into a room next to ours, I actually had one of those video monitors to watch him which was way cool. But I was strict this time, with scheduling. I had him sleeping through the night at 4 months (there's no way I could have done my job and been awake at night) and he was only given so many bottles a day. The last one being about an hour before bed. I put him in his crib and he went to sleep. Amazing this kid! So, don't be afraid to take chances....don't be afraid to raise your child how you see fit and confide with your pediatrician often. You and your doc, together can make sure you're doing the right thing for your child. Best of luck and God Bless

[deleted account]

Both of my kids slept in my room until they were 18 months old. There were no problems transferring them to their own rooms even at that age. I suggest you go with your instincts and if it's possible, keep baby in your room for a bit longer.

Kayla - posted on 01/16/2010

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You just gotta do it. My daughter has been sleeping in her crib since she was a month old. Our room is our room and she has her own room for a reason. I feel that it was good for me and my husband to have our space and for her to have hers. Plus, the crib mattresses are WAY better on their little bodies then sleeping in a bassinet or pack 'n' play all the time! Even moving our daughter into her own room at one month she was so much happier to have more room to herself while she slept and we sleep much sounder as well.

Tricia - posted on 01/16/2010

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We've all been there. At first, I had my daughter start by taking her naps in her room. Then, for her first night, I slept on the floor. She had no idea that I was even there. It's hard to let go but I'm sure he'll do fine.

Brenda - posted on 01/15/2010

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do what you feel .never think you're being silly when it comes to you're baby ,there's plenty of time for him to learn to sleep in his room ,bring him back with you and you both will feel better ,,

Katie - posted on 01/15/2010

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Thank you everyone! hopefully with all this support it should be as easy for me to let go...i think i am going to just wait for a little bit longer and then let him sleep in his room. hopefully it will work out okay.

Samantha - posted on 01/15/2010

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My daughter slept in my room for months as well. Then my boyfriend told me that it was time for us to start letting her sleep in her own room in her crib, otherwise she would get to use to sleeping in our room. It was so hard at first, I think the first two weeks I kept checking on her three maybe four times a night. After a month or so though I did finally become comfortable with her sleeping in her own room. If you do not feel right about having your son sleep in his room then I would continue to let him sleep in your room. He is only 5 months he has plenty of time to be independent as Nikole said. :]

[deleted account]

Hi Katie... if you have a baby monitor then it is no different to sleeping him right next to you in terms of being able to hear him breathing etc. I put my boy into his nursery when he was 6 weeks old (with a monitor) but this time round with my daughter she's 10 weeks and still next to me in the bassinet. In a couple of weeks I'll put her into the nursery with the monitor. I don't think it's a problem as far as them not being independent goes though, if you've got space for a cot and want him with you then why not? It's all about what you're comfortable doing, but if you think you would like to have him in his own room then a monitor is just as good as him being right there. Good luck with making your decision :)

Kathleen - posted on 01/14/2010

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You do need to follow your own instincts regarding when baby is ready to move to his own room. However, I have a nephew who slept in his parent's room/bed until he was 8 or 9. Just saying, "do not put it off too long"....Get a baby monitor and place the receiver as close to you as possible so you can hear him breathing. Also, once you overcome the fear of him being in another room, you will sleep better as you don't hear every little noise he makes at night. Not to mention, intimacy with hubby is much more relaxed with baby in another room.

Jeri - posted on 01/14/2010

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I am feeling Exactly how you are feeling Katie!! My daughter is 7 months and she is also outgrowing her basinett. We have been saying for months we are going to put her in her own bed, but make excuses for it regularly and now it is even harder to let go!! I started by getting her to take her naps in her crib, and letting her play in it so she can get comfortable in there. I am trying for the first time (hardcore) tonite, and i actually put her basinett in her crib, and her humidifier in there for white noise. Then after a couple days of that my plan is to take the little mattress out of the basinett and lay her on it, then eventually get rid of that. I am just worried that moving her in there is going to disrupt her sleep, as she sleeps through the night, and for selfish reasons of my own, love it, and don't want it to end!! I think that after the first night it won't be so bad. I hope!! Good luck to you!

Amber - posted on 01/14/2010

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I know how you feel because ever since my son was born he has always been in the same room as us. He started off in a bassinet for about a month and since then he has been in a crib. I would rock him to sleep and then go lay him down in his crib. He is almost a year old now and about a month ago we switched him to his own room and he is doing great!! It was harder for me than it was for him to get used to not being in the same room. He also recently got a toddler bed that we set up in there so that he can get used to it by just playing on it. Now tonight when I laid him in the crib all he did was play for an hour and then screamed for 15 minutes so I laid him down on his big boy bed and not even a half hour later he was asleep. It will take some time for you to be able to let go so if you feel like you aren't ready for him to be in his own room then just keep him in your room because they grow up fast enough as is and you may want to hold on now while you still can.

Lacey - posted on 01/14/2010

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my son sleep in the same room with me until he was 8 months old..i was scared to let him sleep in his own room at first but i had a baby monitor so i felt a little better about it however i was getting up and checking on him every time i heard the littlest noise..he took to sleeping in his own room better then i did..he is almost 2 years old and loves having his own room he loves going in there and playing and being able to make a complete mess and watching me clean it up all the while going behind me and pulling every thing back out..it is very scary at first all i can say is get a baby monitor and hook it up and it might help a little i know it helped me..and if ya still don't feel comfortable about it move the crib into your room are do what i did let him sleep in his play pen..my son hated his bassinet so i put a soft blanket and pillow in his play pen and let him sleep in it and he sleep like a baby..and like i said my son is almost 2 years old and i still don't like him sleeping in his own room..but he is getting older and i have to let him start being a big boy and doing things on is own..its hard but we got to do it

Tara - posted on 01/14/2010

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I kept a pack-n-play for forever (and I hate to say it showed after a couple kids!) It was nice because I could set it up almost anywhere & be close to the baby. With the two oldest I also managed to make sleeping arrangements for myself in their room. I've done a futon chair, aero bed, & regular twin bed that my middle daughter grew in to. I found that having a bed in their room was the option that worked best for me because I got used to the way their room was & how comfortable they were & eased out. I think I was far more uncomfortable than they were (looking back).

Good luck!

[deleted account]

Definately have him in his own bed in his own room you will regret it if you don't do it straight away. It is always hard to let go of each stage of your baby's life from the bassinet to cot to bed. No parent wants to accept the fact that their baby is growing up, it is a part of parenting I am afraid. Maybe if it is too hard for you the first few nights you could make a bed up for yourself in his room. This way he is getting used to being in a cot in his own room but still has the comfort of knowing you are there and you have the comfort of being in the room with him. Then the next few nights just sit in the room with him until he falls asleep. Then you may be ready to just put him in his cot and walk out. I hope this helps. Goodluck.

Laura - posted on 01/14/2010

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My son is 6 months and still sleeps in my room as well... he sleeps in his pack-n-play next to the bed. However, he takes his naps in his crib in his own room during the day, so I'm hoping this will help him be OK with sleeping there at night. I think as long as he's not sleeping in your bed, you probably won't have too many issues with getting him to sleep in his own room when you're ready. I think the babies will probably have a better night's sleep if they're in their own room- they won't have any noises from parents (like coughing, tossing or turning, etc.), and I don't know about you, but I kind of miss being able to watch TV while laying in bed at night before falling asleep.

Tiffany - posted on 01/14/2010

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Well hun my daughter slept with me til she was a year old, meaning in the same room, when we got our own apartment i put her in her own bed and havent had a problem. Like you i was very nervous about doing so but i tell you what the first night yes its the hardest and ur gonna act like its ur first night home from the hospital but you are gonna realize that the both of you will sleep better! my daughter is now almost 16months and she goes to bed by 830 and gets up at 1030 am,, she loves having her own room! Just have faith like i said it is hard but in your heart you know its the best thing to do!

Nikole - posted on 01/14/2010

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i know this may not help but my ped tells me to go with my own instinks when it come to my son who is 7 months old. if there is room in your room for his crib why not put it in your room for a while? it is ok for him to share a room with you untill he is a little older. he will get his own independance soon enough. good luck

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