My Boyfriends Dad Wants My Son To Call Him..

Jasmine - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 278 moms have responded )

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papa but i totally disagree and i just want him to call him grandpa, what do you guys think? and what do your children call their grandparents





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Yup hes my babies daddys dad, and to me for papa is daddyy so thats why i don't want him to be called that, i see his daughter calling him that and his grandson should not be calling him that as well.

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Beverly - posted on 02/24/2010

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I don't see why you should care. My kids call their grandparents mamaw, papaw, granddad, mema, and greats-grandma 2 and Oma. Some of them the kids came up with on their own and others were requests from the grand parent. Makes no difference to me and it makes them happy.

Laura - posted on 02/23/2010

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Seriously...does it matter? Think about when you were trying to come up with a name for your child. It doesn't matter...after a while 'the name just fits'. If the grandfather wants to be called Papa...then what is the big deal ? Would you want someone telling your son to call you "mother" instead of mommy or mom ?

Sherry - posted on 02/25/2010

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in our family the grandparents, male or female, have and are called and referred to by a various number of titles depending on who is doing the talking and who it is they are talking about/to with 1 exception, my Mom's Dad has always been called Papa by his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, ect. it is what has always fit him and as far as I know no-one has ever gotten confused by it when hearing one of his children and one of his grandchildren calling him by that handle at the same time, if it really is that big of an issue how about Grandpapa?

Katherine - posted on 02/25/2010

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Wynona - posted on 02/25/2010

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I think you are perhaps over-reacting about this whole thing. There are lots of different names used for grandparents and other members of the family. I would not make a big deal about this...............pick your battles.

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Robin - posted on 02/25/2010

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hmmm, you think the child can't tell them apart? Give more credit to intelligence. I grew up with my stepmom having the same exact first name as myself- we figured it out. Let a grandparent pick their title. It's the least we can grant them for respect.

Robin - posted on 02/25/2010

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Grandparents on both sides are Papa. I let the grandparents pick. It's respect to them for raising my rotten butt for so long. That is a relationship that they will develop with or without your control. I think the grandparents have the right to pick their titles.

Carla - posted on 02/25/2010

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Papa means 'dad' in Dutch. I am dutch, my husband is Canadian. His dad also wanted to be called papa. I refused and suggested Opa Jim. My husband is papa.

Some grandparents don't like the name grandpa or grandma because it sounds old. You can find other names (check other languages) and come up with a name you both agree on. It won't matter to the child, he/she will associate that name with the person regardless what it is.

Mary Jo - posted on 02/25/2010

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I would honor the grandparent's wishes. My children called each set of grandparents something different - my mother and father were Nana and Grandpa Neil; their father's were Gramma George and Grampa Jim; their great-grandmother was Squeaky. My grandchildren call me Ma.

The grandchildren (usually the oldest) will usually establish what that grandparent will be called.

I don't see the issue.

Stacey - posted on 02/25/2010

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All of my kiddos call my dad and my husband's dad Papa... They call one of them Papa Tom and they call the other Papa Mike... It works for us. Let your little one figure it out... That's what happened for us...

Debra - posted on 02/25/2010

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it shoudl really be up him to deceide what he shoudl be called. While you might not prefer what he wants it is him that needs to answer to it. That being said... your kid might use his own name for him as he gets older.

We use Papa for our kids greatgrandpa but the grandfather is not in the picture. Consequently his wife is "Aunt" so I don't really think it matters as it is all family!

Julie - posted on 02/25/2010

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If it's the babies daddy, I would let the child call him whatever he/she wants to or comes up with themselves. Grandpa can be a little hard for the grandpa to handle, if he's somewhat on the young side but shoot, I'm 43 with a daughter 24 so if she has a baby...that little angel can call me anything they want.

Laelani - posted on 02/25/2010

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Yeah I don't see a problem with it. Papa, uncle, Mama...I've heard people wanting to be called that (I'm talking about elderly people) it's almost like a nickname. You know where you've seen a movie, or shoot... visited down south is mostly where you see this happening, old ladies want to be called grandma because it's there title, it's how they identify themselves, to them it's like wearing a crown. "Call me grandma, everybody does!"and they have earned it, and there usually proud of it you know! It doesn't mean they are trying to take the place of a real grandparent, it's just a title, or like a nick name, it's cool, it's totally cool!

Patricia - posted on 02/25/2010

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Wow, there are going to be so many things that will come up over the years that you have no control over. Pick your battles because trying to contol everything will wear you out and this one my dear is just plain silly.

Bev - posted on 02/25/2010

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I think you should let your child decide on what he wants to call his grandparents. This way he or she will know who is who. In my family my mother was called granny and my dad was called papaw. My grand kids call me granny and their dads mom grandma and his dad papaw. This way they can keep everyone straight. So I fell just let the child choose the name.

Tina - posted on 02/25/2010

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When kids get to the age where they can talk, they will call their grandparents what they want to call them. It's usually the easiest thing to pronounce. My nieces and nephews call my dad pop-pop and grand pop. My kids call him "Duck"....My daughter would not call him any thing the first couple months that she could talk so he said " call me pop pop, please call me something. What are you going to call me, Donald Duck?" And she said "DUCK"...So Duck stuck!!!

Lisa - posted on 02/25/2010

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i never like papa for grandparents eather i totaly understand what your saying with that. my kids call my dad grandpop and my stepdad (daddy jr) grampy. When i was growing up i had a grandpop and a pop pop. maybe you could use pop pop because that is closer to papa. hopefuly that helps alittle good luck

Joy - posted on 02/25/2010

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My son always call his grandpa's papa, it was easy for him to say, but he always called is dad, daddy. So it really comes down to what you want. His grandpa wanted him to call him papa, and I didn't really think anything wrong with it.

Elynmarie - posted on 02/25/2010

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I always think it is up to the person being called to decide what they would like to be called, as long as it is not offensive or confusing. What difference does it make to you, really, be happy you have a papa, grandpa... who is willing to love and care about your child.

Elynmarie - posted on 02/25/2010

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I always think it is up to the person being called to decide what they would like to be called, as long as it is not offensive or confusing. What difference does it make to you, really, be happy you have a papa, grandpa... who is willing to love and care about your child.

Elynmarie - posted on 02/25/2010

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I always think it is up to the person being called to decide what they would like to be called, as long as it is not offensive or confusing. What difference does it make to you, really, be happy you have a papa, grandpa... who is willing to love and care about your child.

Rebecca - posted on 02/25/2010

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it's an individual thing , I want to be called grama , the other grand ma is me maw which I'm not crazy about but it is her choice. My boy friends grand kids cal him puppa chuck.it's weird to me.Buuuttt I don't think it should matter. My grandson called me me maw and his mom told him to call me grand ma, because that is what I preferr.

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2010

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My son calls my dad, 'papa'...it started as Ooom Pa pa and got shortened. It's cute as personal and Papa is very happy with it as is my boy. Whatever works. Motto for parenting, full stop.

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2010

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I think that you let your child call him whatever they feel comfortable with. Papa, to our family is a loving term for grandpa and then my kids call the grandpa they are not close to, grandpa. Every family is diferent hun, there is no wrong way to go about this.

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2010

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I think that you let your child call him whatever they feel comfortable with. Papa, to our family is a loving term for grandpa and then my kids call the grandpa they are not close to, grandpa. Every family is diferent hun, there is no wrong way to go about this.

Karen - posted on 02/25/2010

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My children, who are grown now, call my Daddy "Big Daddy". They still call him Big Daddy. Initially he started this to agitate their father who was a absent father. They know who to depend on also.

Leslie - posted on 02/25/2010

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i think it depends on what he is calling your boyfriend...if it is papa then he should call him grandpa or some form of...but if not then i don't really think it is such a big deal...you have to choose your battles and this one just seems like a little one...in my family my cousins kids call their father papa and grandfather poppy maybe you could suggest that if you think it should be different...

Lisa - posted on 02/25/2010

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I know children who call their grandfathers "Papa". I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all. My children call my father "Pappy". My (step)daughter also calls him Pappy. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, Jasmine! Be grateful that the man cares enough to want to be part of your son's life. Not all children are so fortunate. Everyone in my family (including her own children!) call my grandmother "Granny". Over the years our family grandparent names have included: Papaw, Mamaw, Grandfather, Poppo, Mommo, Granny, Gran, Pa, Nanny, Papa, and Opa (German for grandma). All of these children knew that they were addressing grandparents. When my son learned German at the age of 15 he began calling me "Mutti" (german for mommy). It isn't the name that's important. Its the love!

Kristel - posted on 02/25/2010

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My mom is Buttercup ( long story) and my father is Granddaddy, My husbands parents are Grammy and PawPaw, and Grandpa. I think that if that is what he wants to be called then let him. Papa can mean father or grandfather.

Amy - posted on 02/25/2010

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I think its a good idea to have different names for the grandparents, with my kids they have 3 grandma's, 2 grandpas, 2 great-grandmas, 2 great-grandpas, & 1 great-great grandma. We asked the immediate grandparents what they wanted to be called just to make it easier. The grandma's are Gigi, Nana, & Granny. & The grandpa's are Papa, & Ponca. My daughter came up with the Ponca name all by herself at 1 year old & it stuck. NOw alll my kids call him Ponca and that's what he calls himself :) And actually now my kids call my mom Mama-Gigi. I think really its just a name, and your son will know the difference between who is his parents who is his grandparents regardless of what you call them. But you should definitly be comfortable with it as well. So best of luck :)

Debi - posted on 02/25/2010

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I have a dear frind who wore a necklace with the name Buddy on it. Her name was Ruth so I asked her what Buddy meant. When her grandchild started to talk for whatever reason she choose to call Ruth Buddy. It stuck and Ruth is now Buddy to all her grandchildren. Ruth loves it and helps her stand apart from all the other grandparents, so I say let the child choose what to call him. I have grandkids and step grandkids and trust me all the grandpas and grandmas confuse them.

Monica - posted on 02/25/2010

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how old is your son? my grandchildren picked the name for me ...and it's grandma...I would have chose something different but when they say it......it melts my heart....may the Lord guide his little heart for the perfect name and your boyfriends father be delighted by it...God bless you today

Peggy - posted on 02/25/2010

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My granddaughter calls us Memaw and Papa because that is what she can say at the age of two. Why do people get so hung up on what they want to be called or what we think the should be. Does he love your child? Does your child love him? Isn't that enough? Not to be mean but maybe you are letting your own relationship or preconcieved ideas cloud the issue. What if your son can't say Grandpa? They name is not what is important but the relationships!

Sharon - posted on 02/25/2010

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I think you should go with what your boyfriend's dad wants in an effort to keep the peace and encourage the relationship. Grandparents are really important to their grandchildren and I feel they have the right to be called what they want. My children call their grandfather Papa. It's not 'Daddy' and I think it's really nice. I'm Marnie to my grandson.

Sherry - posted on 02/25/2010

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my kids call my baby daddy papa and my dad granddaddy its no big deal as long the kid knows who his father is and call him dad

Sherry - posted on 02/25/2010

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my kids call my baby daddy papa and my dad granddaddy its no big deal as long the kid knows who his father is and call him dad

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Personally, I think Papa makes more sense then Grandpa. He isn't your sons Grandpa. If you were married to your boyfriend, then maybe he could call him Grandpa. You may want to consider the seriousness of your relationship. If you don't end up eventually marrying your boyfriend, your son could end up confused when another "grandpa" comes along. Just something to consider.

Cavielle - posted on 02/25/2010

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It doesn't make a difference what your son calls his grandfather, if he calls him papa or grandpa, no big deal. your son will still know who is his father and who is his grandfather.

Lauren - posted on 02/25/2010

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It is kind of sweet that he wants a special name, BUT in the end it is up to you what your child calls his Grand Parents. My children call both sets of Grand Parents by different names. We decided this so that the children know who we are talking about. Chat to him about it and voice your concerns, I am sure he will be accommodating. Remember it is only a name that is followed by a whole lot of love, and in the end that is all that matters. I would not care what my kids called their Grandpa if he was still around to love them the way he did.

Lynn - posted on 02/25/2010

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well my husband is a paw paw-that is what my husband wanted and I have no problem -the kids and grandkids all call my husband that and I liked gran -however that was what my kids called my mother-her mother was gee gee-and when she died I thought I could take gran and have my mom take the gee gee but she didn't like it-but when I had grandbabies I kept calling myself grandma-so my mom got the gran back

Brittany - posted on 02/25/2010

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pop pop sounds better but my daughter calls my stepfather papi... so its all the childs preference and whats easy for the child to say

Janine - posted on 02/25/2010

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i find that kids go through a phase of identifying all in the grandpa age group as grandpa, let him say what he is comfortable with, do not force it either way

Shabz - posted on 02/25/2010

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yeah... papa is for daddys, not for grandpas. If your son starts to call his grandpa "papa", it'll end up in a huge confusion between daddy and grandpa.

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my daughter calls my parents amma and boppa. she calls her father's parents ammaw and poppa. she calls my boyfriend's parents dadamomma and dadadada.

Polly - posted on 02/25/2010

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As a new mum with no Grandpas or Papas on either side as they have both passed away I say it doesn't matter what name you give to the individuals just appreciate they are alive to have a relationship with your child. I would give anything to hear my daughter say anything to my dear Dad...........

Marni - posted on 02/25/2010

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Children often call people in conjunction of how they feel about that particular person! A child should not be forced to call someone something they do not feel they should, such as...calling somone a papa that they do not feel they can or should!

It has a special meaning to a child....it should be so for adults as well!

Kim - posted on 02/25/2010

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My children call my Mom and Dad Beeda and Papa. My Moms name turned into "Beeda" when we were trying to teach her how to say Grandma and it just stuck. I myself am also a Grandmother and they call my husband and I Granny and Papa! Papa was just easier to say. If he wants to be called Papa I would let him! Its just something that makes him feel good so why hurt him! Make the Grandpa happy!!!

Brenda Lyn - posted on 02/24/2010

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At first I couldn't understand your hesitance with your son calling his grandpa "Papa", but after reading that his own daughter calls him Papa, I agree with you.



However, as a compromise, which is also a typical "Grandpa" name, is "Pampa". The letter "a" is pronouced same as Papa.



Explain to Grandpa your reason for preferring his grandson not call him Papa as his own daughter refers to him this way, and it doesn't feel appropriate for you. Then ask how he feels about "Pampa" which is a combo for Papa and Grandpa, and often the typical way many older babies & toddlers have referred to their grandpa, anyway :). I bet he'll love it!

Karen - posted on 02/24/2010

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i think the old guy has a ''grandpa' complex - perhaps doesnt want to seem old? or he just doesnt like the term. perhaps his next door neighbours and friends call him pappa - so its just a name in that respect - it doest mean that he thinks he is your sons' father. you could try something completely different and get agreement from alll concerned for your son to use a special nickname - something to do with what your 'father - in- law' likes to do for a hobby? a fish name for a fishing fanatic, or and animal name - like 'bear' or 'pappa bear' for a hunter. perhaps he is into baseball and has a favourite star he could be called from? see what he thinks.x

Kathleen - posted on 02/24/2010

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My children, now grown, called my parents Grandma and Grandpa, Our daughter named my husbands father Papa when she was 18 months old. Now, there are great grandkids and my mom is Granny

Carrie - posted on 02/24/2010

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When I was a kid I called my grandparents grandma and grandpa with whatever their last name was attached. My three older kids call my parents grandma and grandpa. If my dad is dating/married to someone they call her grandma with whatever her first name is attached. They called their dad's parents mimi and papa. My youngest is being taught to call my dad grandpa which none of my children interact with my mom. He is also being taught to call his dad's dad papa; he doesn't interact with his dad's mom. So it's something you and boyfriend to discuss and come to some sort of agreement.

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