Carly - posted on 12/03/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )
My boyfriend's six year old won't go to bed by herself, she cries and screams, he says she has seperation anxiety.
His three year old will go down if he tries, most times he puts her in bed with him and moves her.
She usually wakes crying either from bed wetting (which also involves screaming) or because of a bad dream or just because he is not there with her.
We've been together for over a year, the only thing he has done to fix the problem is instead of them sleeping together he now puts a matress in the lounge and gets them to sleep there while he sleeps on the couch.
He has custody 50/50 and says he can't do anything because, 1) nothing works, 2) their mom lets them all sleep together and 3) because one will wake the other up if he tries to get them into their own beds.
Now he also says that it's too hot to put them in their own beds and so in the lounge they have airconditioning.
When I sleep over, he wants to sleep with me in the bed - but I can't if they're all in there - I can't sleep or stay asleep because there is not room and the kids often make noises (its hard enough to sleep with him snoring away!)
So instead when I'm around he tries to get them into their own beds, fine for the three yr old cause he moves her in after she's asleep, bad for the six year old cause she will scream and cry, so she goes to sleep on the floor in the room or he has to take her into her room and sleep with her.
If he wakes up he will come into the bed again with me, but the kids will wake crying.
I tell him just sleep with them if you don't want to do anything about it.
And when I suggest getting help he tells me he has been parenting for 9 years cause his ex had two other kids and he knows best.
I get told they will grow out of it, but all the reseach says it will be a long time, especially for the three year old. I dont know what to do. I know there's things that he could do to help it, but I don't think I can go through year's of being woken up by the kids every night. He says I'm selfish and am trying to drive his kids away, am I? Is this normal?