my child keeps screaming at me

Zoe - posted on 11/16/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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every time my 3 year old wants attention from me or wants something done.. he screams at me about it ... i tell him he dosnt have to be loud im only here and if u want something u have to ask nicely '' mummy may i have ........... please'' i say it evey time to him but its not sinking him to be polite and ask nicly for me and for things .... how else can i get him to stop screaming at me

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Deborah - posted on 11/16/2009

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Firstly has he had a hearing test?

Try when he is screaming Cover your ears and say awwwwwwwwww that hurts my ears. Bend down to his eye level Firm low tone not loud STOP. When there is a gap phrase him Use simple short language. He is only 3 your sentences may need more gestures,
Do you have special time with him. Sit down with him daily this is your time he will get into a routine.
Get him involved in what you are doing.he could put away the toys help with house work they love doing adult things. A little bowl with bubbles, sponge to help washing up even his toys.
I hope this helps it be nice to exchange more ideas

Brandy - posted on 11/16/2009

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Tell him that you can't hear him when he screams. Or at the time, say "Mommy can't hear you when you scream. I don't know what you're saying. You must talk normally." Just dont give in to his demands until he talks normal. He's going to go through a few tantrums, but then he's going to realize that you can't be pushed around. Good luck!

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Alecia - posted on 11/16/2009

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My 3 year old daughter use to do that to me to I started usin a stern tone of voice to get her attention to make her talk to me im not saying yell at him bc it will make him upset and u just a stern deep voice lettin him know you mean buisness and if that didnt work we would do time out for only the same amount of minutes of her age for 3 minutes and usually they will calm down by then and talk to them and reassure them your not mad him that you just want him to be a good boy and not yell at mommy bc it upsets you and they will usly tell you there sorry and give u a and hug and within in about a week you will be able to see the changes just remeber to be patient with him bc his patient span with you is only 3 min long right now at his age!! Hope it helps!!

Reischelle - posted on 11/16/2009

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I have a 3yr old too.. and I totally understand!! This is what i did.. sometimes in order to get your boy/girl to behave you have to show him you mean business! Dont give in right away. My boy did that to me and he would get louder and louder within seconds if I dont answer him. But I told him, You have to say those three sayings when your speakin to me or anyone else son!.. excuse me, please, thank you. Dont give him what he wants right away if hes doin something you don't like. I learned as much as I love my baby and want to give him the world and let him do anything he loves.. I had to understand I would eventually raise a monster!, a child who won't listen and will be rude to me in public.. and I wasnt having that!.. Patience is a definetly a virtue, but you should be stern with him/her.. and sendin them to sit on there bed and takin toys and play time away WILL help, alot of people tell me spank'n isnt all that bad as long as you are not really hurting your child but my kid really pays more attention to what im taking from him and not letting him play as oppose to spank'n him and making him afraid of me. They do need to know whos boss, but you will definetly have more respect and love from your child if your always honest and sweet to them with a little stern voice.. Trust me girl.. I also have a 8yr and a 5yr old.. who do drive me a little bananass sometimes.. but my kids are good for the most part. They have manners and they know they can't get away with being a brat. lol! Kids will be kids! LOL! Take care and good luck! P.S. also.. with kids.. I learned rewarding them for doing good is a plus.(like potting in the toilet) Dont do it tooo much though cause then they think they need to get things for just being polite.. I try to prepare my kids for the real world too.. :) Give them like "woohoo" clapping and danciing when they do good.. it really makes them feel good about being good! :)

Ava - posted on 11/16/2009

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You have to be a little forceful with three year olds. They go through a loud, selfish stage sometimes that you have to get them out of. Similar to training a dog (i.e.: not condoning the behavior with rewards), you tell the child 'Sorry, you don't get _____ until you ask nicely', and (I know it hurts) but give them the cold shoulder until they ask nicely. It's important to break this behavior now or they will have a 'gimme' attitude for the rest of their lives. But if you reward him while he's screaming by giving him what he wants, he will know that screaming will get him what he wants. You simply ignore the behavior you don't approve of (or give him a smack for it, if you approve of that method) and praise the behaviors you want him to show.

Stephanie - posted on 11/16/2009

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Ignore him. This may lead to a tantrum or crying (etc) It is hard but continue to ignore him. Once he calms a little explain to him why you aren't paying attention to him. A child needs to understand what is the appropriate way to go about asking for things. I don't care how old a child is they understand. Also, keep in mind just cuz he's asking or even asking nice doesn't mean you have to give it to him. Teach him that as well, he can't always have what he wants. This is a good time to to explain those kinds of things when shopping 'things cost money and I can't afford that right now, etc' that has helped alot with my boy. Good Luck! and ignore the one comment about pay more attention to him, some people have nothing better to do. :)

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if every time you wanted something and you knew all you had to do was scream (even possibly embarass the hell out of someone) wouldn't you do it? You have to ignore the unwanted behavior. Unless there is immediate danger, turn around. Dont even look at him. Dont show that you are upset. Any reaction from you will just enforse the behavior. Praise but dont over do it, when the desired behavior is shown. Too much and he will know your begging it from him.

Chrystal - posted on 11/16/2009

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As for what Amy Richards said we don't know how much attention you pay to your son but that is an inappropriate response because he is at the age that he needs to start learning independence So instead of being nasty about it give some good advice.

Melissa - posted on 11/16/2009

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When he screams, I would tell him that you are not talking to him until he can use his "indoor voice" (or whatever you would like to call it). And then if he continues to scream, just ignore him and don't give in to him. Best of luck!!

Chrystal - posted on 11/16/2009

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Don't get it for him or give it to him it will take a couple of times for this to work. Had to do it with my daughter i just said if you want me to do something i will only do it if you ask me with pretty words she just turned 4

Tina - posted on 11/16/2009

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Its not always easy to reason with a 3 year old. But like the other mom said. Be firm and say that screaming will get him nothing. When he does use his correct let him know how happy you are that he did it and always set the right example....

Danelle - posted on 11/16/2009

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try turning around and ignoring him.. tell him that you will ignore him until he starts asking nicely and stops screaming at you.. he might get the message.

Jessica - posted on 11/16/2009

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Not being mean but if hes going to scream at you tell him that he is not going to get it until he can talk to you nicely..dont cave into him when he screams..Hes going to have to learn to respect you and other adults..so try not giving him what he wants for couple mins after he screams and then wait and ask him if he can ask nicely!

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