My child thinks hitting is funny...help!

Allison - posted on 09/07/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

2

0

0

My daughter is 21 months old and she just started to hit me and my husband. She does it like it is a game. She will hit us and then laugh. At her age, you can not rationalize with her why it is bad. How can I get her to stop hitting? I am afraid she will try it on another child.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

4 Comments

View replies by

Debbii - posted on 09/07/2009

5

0

0

she is a toddler so while the principle in Elissa'a reply is sound it won't work in practise. She won't connect the smack with the loss of "treat". It has to be in the now.

Give her a time out and yes talk to her about it as you take her there. It builds 2 things, her communication skills and your patience. You may need to be persistent with the time out for the first couple of time, taking her back to the area you have set aside for the time out and give her a "release" like a time limit or an action she must perform to be released like an apology hug.

Also when you talk to her about it try to separate the behaviour, hitting, from her. She is your loving daughter who is trying out an action she has seen or experienced and not her hitting behaviour. She is not good or bad but both and neither is wrong just not culturally or socially acceptable.

Having written all this I don't whether it will work because although I used this with one of my boys it suddenly ended when I responded genuinely (and possibly inappropriately) by hitting him back after he hit me and I wasn't focussed on him but on the task I was doing. I had been doing the other for a time.

An old wife's tale says she will do it for 6 weeks then it will abruptly end. It wasn't that long with my son and the time outs. Hope this helps even if to realise they grow out of it and don't hit other children. He never was the aggressor

Elissa - posted on 09/07/2009

4

12

0

You can consequence her by giving her lots of empathy--say "oh, oh," in a really sad voice, then "this is really too bad" now mommy doesn't have the energy to ... whatever she is looking forward too--park day, breakfast, tv time--she needs to put your energy back by not hitting you. She will learn very quickly that she won't get what she wants if she hits.

Allison - posted on 09/07/2009

2

0

0

We have tried a similiar method but she thinks the sad face is funny and continues to hit

Stefanie - posted on 09/07/2009

364

13

43

When she hits you take her hands and say, "No hit. It hurts." Make a sad face. Then smile and say, "Hands are for hugs (or tickles or whatever)." and give her a big hug and laugh.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms