My childrens father has supervised visitation, he's not there, and my kids dont want to go... help!

Amanda - posted on 09/23/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Been in a 3 year long divorce with my kids father. He has supervised visitation and yet hes never there, only the supervisor and another person is around my kids, this is ongoing. My kids dont even want to be around their dad, but they like that he keeps buying them real expensive items.I have an attorney, but our judge seems to be bias and theres alot to this story here.

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[deleted account]

Why is the supervisor not reporting this? It should be reported that he's never there and perhaps the visits need to end. I am so sorry to hear this. No child should have to go through that.

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Melissa - posted on 04/30/2011

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My children are 6 years old and 3 1/2 years. There dad just got out of prison after 4 years of not seeing them. He got professionally supervised visits. He refuses to do them. And instead threatens me. Has broke into my place i am staying. Textes my young sister to meet him and talk. And threatens my ex to disapear and no one will ever now he did it. BUT the damn judge says i have no proof but texts. WOW are you kidding me. BULL S@#%.... He has not EVEN TRIED to set up visits and he has been out since april 15th 2011...it has been 2 weeks and has not even tried to set a visit up. I can,t get a protection order for me, cuz no real proof. He is sneaky not to leave proof. IM SCARED 4 my life and my familys.

Amanda - posted on 09/23/2009

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the problem is if I don't send them I get held in contempt of court for violating visitation orders, and He hasn't even paid any child support since it was ordered, hes so in debt its not funny, yet in our state we cant use that against the other parent. I would like to say thanks to everyone I see im not the only one in this situation here .. huggss

Amanda - posted on 09/23/2009

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the problem with the supervisor is its his Mother and shes one that believes her kids have never ever done anything wrong in their lives, even with huge criminal backgrounds. its like she helps them get OUT of the trouble

Raynae - posted on 09/23/2009

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You can also have your children write a letter to the judge, it may help with getting a court date set. It may not make the decision, but any little bit may help.

Desiree - posted on 09/23/2009

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I just want to tell you that my 19yr. old daughter only seen her dad maybe a total of 5 times in her entire life. She never wanted to go see him either and I never forced the issue. No matter how old they are they do know where their security lies and thats with you. Just keep trying but don't force them to do something they are not willing to do.

Erica - posted on 09/23/2009

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get back to court and redo the order of support. also get a child advocate lawyer to speak with the children to hear what they say. then the judge will see differently. and always have ecidence of it all.

[deleted account]

Well that's messed up if he's not going to show up and they don't want to be with him then they shouldn't make you send them. I have a three year old his father and i were never married but i know how it goes. I only wish i could've gotten supervised visits. All i know is that if he doesn't have any contact with them for 6 months he looses his visitation and i think you can have his rights taken. My son didn't want to go either in the beginning, but then his "father" decided to buy him toys all the time so now he doesn't mind. It makes me so mad! Just keep sending them and doing everything your supposed to it'll all work out in the end. That's what i'm doing right now!

Tamesia - posted on 09/23/2009

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well i havent experienced that, but i think you should let the kids talk to the judge and let them tell the judge they dont want to go over there, or atleast the person thats help supervise them should say something bout the father not beening there to spend time with them. because our kids are so precious to us !!!!!!! just a little advice for a friend.

Amanda - posted on 09/23/2009

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my daughter is 8 1/2 and my son just turned 13. In our state they have to be i believe its 15 before they can make their own decisions and everything until then you get stuck with a guardian and the courts.
Yes theres a lot of risk, hes abusive, took years for me to manage to get away from him, my current boyfriend came and moved me and my kids out one weekend because he knew of all the abuse and even heard alot of it and see some. He also currently is on trial for domestic assault, with intentional restraint, obstructing legal process, and me and my attorney are going after him for child abuse, YET, the judge seriously makes them go back and have visitation with him???? yes Ive been sending them no matter what and no matter how hard my kids keep saying they dont wanna go, i make sure i follow the papers and send them

Amanda - posted on 09/23/2009

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My kids father doesnt pay his child support as ordered, we are constantly in court and imsick of it, his idea of child support is buying them expensive things. im happy to see that yes im not alone here, im just sick of the games hes playing, I mean hes using our children and everyone sees this but apparently him. he has the supervisor and another chick pick up and take care of our kids and hes off doing whatever and working. he owns a trucking company but he cant pay child support? seriously that man has issues.

Tiffany - posted on 09/23/2009

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I am in a similar issue myself. My ex husband hasn't seen my almost-5 year old since she was one. He too has supervised visitation. I cannot have his rights taken away due to the fact that he pays child support. He's tricky...he'll stop paying for about five and a half months then pay. In Texas and Oklahoma if there is no contact (visits or financial support) for 6 consecutive months you can have their rights stripped. If you have any advice for me I would appreciate it. Wish I could help. Hope you can take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in this stuff.

Carly - posted on 09/23/2009

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How old are your kids? If they are older could they tell the judge they don't want to go? If the visits are supervised there must be some risk, right? I think his not showing will eventually make hime look back to the judge. Till then hold up your end, don't be the one to keep them home, I think it has to come from them. good luck

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