my daughter clings to her dad and doesnt want to know me?

Rachel - posted on 12/06/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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my little girl is 20 months old and i am 28 weeks pregnant, but over the last week or so, she hasnt wanted to know me and she is starting to cling to her dad, its getting to point where during the night my partner is a VERY heavy sleeper and she doesnt wake him up, but when i go in to see what the matter is she wont give me a cuddle or let me settle her. i have to wake him up in order to get her settled. HELP!!!

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Quanetta - posted on 12/27/2009

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That is true you might be having a boy i had the same problum with my daughter and then my son was born! and she love's him lot and me too, so dont worry just give it some time she will come around. but keep leting her know that you love her so much tell her all the time.

Sara - posted on 12/09/2009

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my daughter was like that when i was pregnant with my son its normally dont worrie about it it will get better but just tell her every day u love her

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Kayla - posted on 12/07/2009

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my daughter did this with her step dad and with my mother! she is deff a daddies girl and a grandmas baby! they do it it's weired I know and It makes you feel terrable! Now my daughter is is 2 1/2 and she only wants me! they are doing it mainly to test you! she want's to know you this is how she is getting to know you! she is clinging to daddy because daddy is giving her all the attention and she sees that you want it soo she knows how far to push you until you crack. once you crack she will start to want you! then they will start to test daddy then when daddy cracks she knows how to manipulate you! it's just the circle of manipulation! but your hormones are all out of wack and don't let her see you get upset! that's what I did and it was the worst thing I could of done... well becides spoiling her when she was a infint!

Heather - posted on 12/07/2009

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Many times a child that is about to go through a big transition will change their habits and attitudes. Even if she does not fully understand the baby coming and that things are going to be very different, children even at a young age can sense it. She is also about the age where a lot of children seem to cling to the opposite sex parent. Try to be patient with her, show her love and try even to find things to do that she really likes that is only with you...I can almost bet my next paycheck that she will come out of it eventually.

Alfreda - posted on 12/07/2009

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Don't be discouraged, many of the elderly woman I've known says that this is a sign your baby will be of the oppsite sex. Have you told her your having a next baby? she may just be feeling a little left out.Take heart and still show her love and attention she will come around.

Sharalyn - posted on 12/07/2009

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The first man a little girl falls in love with is her father. She notices something is going on with mommy so she is going toward daddy because he isn't going through a change. This too shall pass. My little girl does this to me all the time. She gets up in the middle of the night, won't sleep in the crib UNLESS I take her to her dad, and she HOLDS HIM until she falls asleep, wakes back up and is ready to go back to her crib. The nerve!!!

Molissa - posted on 12/07/2009

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you need to do more fun stuff with her during the day. When your partner is holding her and she's comfortable play with her and make her smile. Keep doing this until you feel she will be comfortable with you holding her. When it's playtime, BOTH of you need to play with her. Do simply chores for her like changing her diaper with him behind you where she can see him. The same thing for putting her down. Be in the room where she can see you while he lays her down for the first few times. After that, you try it backwards. Then if she wakes, go to her and try to settle her. If she will not go back down with you, don't call your partner in. She has to learn you are in control and you will tend to her needs. It will be hard work, but it will work. My husband had the same issue with my son after he returned to work. He is a teacher of music and works 12-16 hours a day during football season. But when summer came around, he was able to do this method and get him to do stuff for him. My hubby can take over for me while I go out and do whatever to take a break. I'm sure your partner needs one, so both of you can work on this. Be very patient. Since she is older, it may take longer for her to adjust to you. Hope this helps.

Medic - posted on 12/07/2009

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i am having the opposite problem....my husband was the one who hung the moon to our son,3, and i didnt exist unless he was hurt or wanted something daddy said no to, but now that i am expecting daddy doesnt exist and he is right up under me all the time...i know this is a phase but it is trying

Amanda - posted on 12/06/2009

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I had the samething happen when I was pregnant with my second. I think it was because he knew something was changing, even though he didnt quite understand what yet. Also with my ever changing belly I couldnt hold and cuddle him like I use too. I took it really had at first, but realized it was good that he was starting to depend on his daddy a little more since that was the way it was going to be when the baby came home. Once the baby came home and he adjusted, everything went back to normal with me and my oldest. Hope this helps!

Judith - posted on 12/06/2009

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This is totally noromal around the time of a new baby -- they know instinctively when they are not your only priority. It may continue even after the new baby coomes, even with them regressing in terms of potty training and drinking out of a bottle again. You will even think they hate you but remember it will pass. It's also nature's way of making the dad step up with help that you are going to inevitably need. Be patient.

Jamie - posted on 12/06/2009

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I hear you my 21 year old daughter did (does) the samething at first it bugged me to no end and then I realized that was her way of getting to know her daddy.What we did was at night when it was her bed time, my husband would let her know that it was his day to work or day off and she soon realized that on his days off she could call for him and on work days she needed mom to help her. They're smart it doesn't take long for them to figure out the scheme of things... cograts on your next blessing :)

Brianna - posted on 12/06/2009

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It might have to do with you being pregnant...I wouldn't fret about it...just let everything roll n she will come back around. Remember, you're her mom she will always need n love you :). Remind her everyday that you love her and everything will work out!!

Becky - posted on 12/06/2009

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HI Rachel;
Before I can help I need you to think about when she was a little younger. Did daddy hold and care for her alot? Some times when they do and mommy gets pregnant again they just feel more comforatble with daddy because mommy's hormones are over the place and they can sence that so they will turn to daddy. Please hun, don't let it hurt ur feelings or upset u because she can feel that too. Just let her know(even if she is on daddy's lap) that u love her lots!! Maybe a game on the floor where daddy encourages her to play with u as well may help. I hope this helps u

Sharon - posted on 12/06/2009

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Kids are weird. Just accept it and don't fight it.



kids go through this stuff all the time.

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