My daughter is 7 years old and still not potty trained! She has no disablities, no medical reasons,i am at my wits end! Any suggestions?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Denikka - posted on 07/19/2013

2,160

5

748

It can be an emotional issue like Candace suggested.
It can also be a control issue, as it was with my brother. He had legitimate issues when he was very young (he had Hirschsprung's Disease), but that was all resolved LONG before potty training began. But because of it, he was allowed to get away with the bad behavior for far longer than he should have.

What was eventually done with him was to just put him in underwear. When he had an accident, he's the one who had to clean it up. My mom got so fed up with him that she wiped her hands clean of the issue. If he wanted to poop in his pants (which was the main issue) it was his problem.
It took a few months, but without the attention and with him eventually getting tired of hand washing multiple pairs of underwear every day, and he stopped.
I do want to mention that this was done after multiple doctor consultations, therapist visits and medical checks to rule out any issues. It really turned out to be a mix of pure laziness and control issues (he just didn't care about sitting in his own poop, and he was a bit spoiled and wanted to get his own way. In this situation, his way was mom continuing to change his bum). It was eventually resolved when he was 7/8 yrs old (potty training had started at 3 ish).

I wish you luck in figuring out the issues with your daughter. Hopefully this can be resolved soon Jenelle:)

This conversation has been closed to further comments

11 Comments

View replies by

Jennelle - posted on 07/19/2013

1

7

0

I am in the same boat here!! my daughter just turned 7 and i have been trying to potty train her since she was 2! I have and am seeing doctors but nothing is coming up medically wrong with her. As far as trauma I ask her all the time and nothing has come up there ether... yes her father and i split when she was 5 1/2 and we are dealing with that and she is in counseling but like i said i started potty training when she was 2... EVERything positive negative , charts toys candy!! you name it!!

Sherryl - posted on 02/03/2009

11

14

0

i know its vary hard and extremly frustrating u probly have tried everything possible i worked at a child care centre wat we did was a chart one if they go they get a sticker and after a week of it they can get a present i also did it with my daughter she loved it then we did one for the bath washing her own teeth brushing her hair and getting dressed has her school tried to help see if u can get a grant for a teacher assistant that can help teach her during school hours

Judette - posted on 02/03/2009

1

6

0

hello! my son is also 7 yrs old, though he is a special child but he is toilet trained. i hope u train her when she was still in 3 yrs old coz when the child gets older, its really difficult her to be trained...

Rachell - posted on 02/03/2009

25

55

0

I am sure you have tried everything, so I would suugest seeing your GP.  If you haven't tried everything I guess that is where I would start.  If you think she is being lazy, I would take her nappies away full stop.  She is old enough to get embarrassed.  I cannot imagine her wetting infront of her friends, does she? 



If you are unsure, I would implement a star chart (which I am sure you've tried), get her involved.  Explain that it is important for her to use the toilet, that she is a big girl now, and everytime she does she will receive a star (and maybe a treat) then when she collects 2 stars she can have a rewards (her fav thing to do, toy or maccas whatever), then she needsw to get 3 stars for her reward, then 4 and so on.



7 is old enough for you to explain what is required of her.  If it is only overnight, then again I would take away the nappy, it took my daughter 4 days, my son 18 months, but no nappies and a lot of washing and both finally dry.    Princesses dont like to be dirty..  Good luck. 



 



Again, I would consult your GP, as embarrassed as you may feel, it is about getting her the help and resources she needs.  There is also a section at the Royal Childrens Hospital that can help you through it, and it sounds like she'd be a priority.  Good luck.

Caroline - posted on 02/03/2009

2

11

0

have you not got a health visitor? they should give you tips and generally helping hand on how to potty train your kid,



im in middle of potty training my 2 n half year old, i whip her nappy off in the morning and let her walk freely naked round the house, yes shes had accidents, including both poo and wee-ing on the floor, but you cant expect perfection straight away. try this, and take her with you when you go to the toilet, show her what to do, including when you go for a number 2, show her where it goes, and when you flush the toilet.



 



if she has no disabilities, then she should understand that it is a necessity to start training.



visit your doctor too, they should help or put you in touch with someone who can!

Jennifer - posted on 02/02/2009

6

0

0

I second what Candace said. I would talk with her and tell her you're concerned. If you aren't aware of any trauma she's faced, ask her if there's anything that she wants to tell you that she's afraid you might get mad at her for. Let her know that she can tell you anything and you won't be mad at her. It might take a couple of these conversations for her to open up to you if it's something really serious, so be patient.

Candace - posted on 02/02/2009

7

24

0

So if its not physical it could be emotional. Well, I've heard that kids who wet the bed use that as a defence mechanism or is dealing with something traumatic. Generally kids find it to be degrading and shameful if they wet there pants . I'm sure you have tried everything, but here a few suggestions...Lots of praise when she does go, m&ms might help too. Try and dig deep into her as a person cause you just might find something is bothing her. Good luck I hope it gos well.

Amy - posted on 02/02/2009

1

8

0

Can I ask, is she refusing to use the toilet, or does she seem not to understand what is expected of her?  Have you implemented any positive or negative consequences for using the bathroom or having accidents?  I have potty trained lots of children (autistic and typical), I may have some suggestions too if you can say what you've tried already.

Larenas - posted on 02/02/2009

6

0

1

i wish i knew what you have tried so far. is she in school? Does she ever go in the pot? i know that paper diapers absorb the pee so fast and so well that you reallly can't tell that you've peed...so i would suggest cloth diapers with plastic pants so she can actually tell that she is wet. i know that when i have potty trained kids i have always changed to cloth diapers and kids do not like the feel of wet cloth against them. let me know it this is something you might try...or if you already tried...or what you have tried. i am good at potty training....i trained all of my friends kids...let me know how it goes.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms