My daughter is driving me crazy. She is almost 6, and doesn't like to follow rules. Is this normal????

Rosemarie - posted on 02/18/2009

Thanks for all the replies!  One of the moms from kindergarten says my daughter may be bored.  That doesn't explain her behavior at home.  Someone else mentioned Growing Pains, where a child doesn't feel well because they are growing.    We are going to work on a reward program and hope for the best.  Thanks again!

Jessica - posted on 02/17/2009

I'm with you!!!! My 6-year old is going through the same thing. We are trying to use the reward system with her, if she follows the rules, she is able to go out to dinner with either just my husband or myself or get a new toy or something special. Sometimes this works and sometimes she has a mind of her own. Just remember, you are not alone

Kim - posted on 02/17/2009

My son is 8 yrs old and he feels like he doesn't have to listen to anything. At school he is a good student and never gets into trouble, but the minute he walks in the door it's like he's another kid. I've tried the rewards and he just doesn't seem to get that he doesn't get a reward for the bad behavior too. I have been taking some of his favorite things away to punish him. He was very bad yesterday, so he lost all of his video games indefiinitely until he can prove that he deserves them. Good luck!

Shayna - posted on 02/17/2009

i have the very same problem with my 6 year old son... however he is finally being good at school, at home he doesn't listen to anything he is told to do or follow any of the house rules.  I found that when i take away his privilages (playing with his friends) he will cooperate for a while till he earns the privlige back then it starts all over again... Good luch I hope this is just a phase and it will pass soon!

Jennie - posted on 02/17/2009

this has been one of the biggest challenges we have with our 6 (almost 7) yr old.. the things he gets into "trouble" (per sa) for are the same things over and over.. i need a tape recorder.. lol.. i was thinking i was the only one going through this.. good luck girl.. it's a challenge..

Angel - posted on 02/17/2009

I like Dr. Dobson and his suggestions on strong willed children, which is what yours and my six year olds are.  I am not sure how normal it is, but I never had this much of a problem with my older two.  They may have had trouble at home following directions but never at school.  My six year old has the best kindergarten teacher and she struggles with following directions because she wants to be in control.  I also wonder if it is because she is the "baby" of the family.  Good luck, check out Dr. Dobson's books.

Angel - posted on 02/17/2009

I like Dr. Dobson and his suggestions on strong willed children, which is what yours and my six year olds are.  I am not sure how normal it is, but I never had this much of a problem with my older two.  They may have had trouble at home following directions but never at school.  My six year old has the best kindergarten teacher and she struggles with following directions because she wants to be in control.  I also wonder if it is because she is the "baby" of the family.  Good luck, check out Dr. Dobson's books.

Natalie - posted on 02/17/2009

I believe it is very noraml, I am going through the same thing right now. Try positvie reinforcment such as a reward chart, that seems to be helping my son!!

Michelle - posted on 02/17/2009

Quoting Patricia:

It is very normal for her to be like this. believe me I have 4 that are almost 7!  I find that if I focus on the positive with them and really praise them on their good behaviour, they respond better. I also have started a "reward' basket. We have a sticker calendar for every week. If they get 5 out of 7 days with a sticker for positive behaviour, then they get a reward from the basket at the end of the week. if you don't want the basket come up with something that she would really like and work toward that. You can modify it anyway you like. My kids have really responded well.

Love the rewards basket I will have to start that I use a consequence hat so when they get introuble they are picking there own punishment and I had them come up with them with my input to of cource otherwise it would all be good, lol.   There are so many books with these types of ideas

Katherine - posted on 02/17/2009

You may want to try reading "Unconditional Parenting" or "Playful Parenting" for suggestions. My boy is only 5 months, but I've read both of those books, and they have a lot of good ideas in them.

Michelle - posted on 02/17/2009

lol I have one like this and he is 6 to. My guy has pain issues so its a little diffrent however my only advise would be dont let it be a power struggle. You are the parent you need to stay in control, I know easier said then done at times. I started giving choices one being the right one to pick and the other one with Consequences. She is old enough to be help responsable for her actions and by you guiding her with choices she will see how making the right one will work best. I also when I started this would point out to everyone how when we work together and dont fight about choices how smooth things run and how much happier everyone is and they liked that way allot better. When I say they I have 3 boys 9 and twin boys that are 6. Find a punishment that will work for your little one only you know what will get her to stop and pay attention. In a nut shell you need to come up with a game plan and stick to your guns all of you including teacher she cant be able to get away with things or she will keep doing it. If this dosnt work then you might have something else going on which you will want to talk to your Dr. about. I notice a big diffrence with Lukes behavior when I have him on a proper diet along with vitamins and his supplement which you can look up at www.michellenj.com I notice he focus's better and his temperment is soooo much better. Now as I said earlier i also have medical issues with him, he just had brain surgery a year ago for Arnold Chiari Malformation, however allot of his behavioral issues mimic ADD or ADHD at times and the Gochi really helps him. Hope this helps stay strong you will get through this.

Patricia - posted on 02/17/2009

It is very normal for her to be like this. believe me I have 4 that are almost 7!  I find that if I focus on the positive with them and really praise them on their good behaviour, they respond better. I also have started a "reward' basket. We have a sticker calendar for every week. If they get 5 out of 7 days with a sticker for positive behaviour, then they get a reward from the basket at the end of the week. if you don't want the basket come up with something that she would really like and work toward that. You can modify it anyway you like. My kids have really responded well.

Patricia - posted on 02/17/2009

It is very normal for her to be like this. believe me I have 4 that are almost 7!  I find that if I focus on the positive with them and really praise them on their good behaviour, they respond better. I also have started a "reward' basket. We have a sticker calendar for every week. If they get 5 out of 7 days with a sticker for positive behaviour, then they get a reward from the basket at the end of the week. if you don't want the basket come up with something that she would really like and work toward that. You can modify it anyway you like. My kids have really responded well.

Bonita - posted on 02/17/2009

Well I don't think my 6 year old is normal then because she doesn't follow rules at all... she makes and brakes them!!!!!! Good Luck