My daughter is now at stage when she screams at bedtime and wants to stay downstairs until she falls asleep - which sometimes is not 9pm. I have tried everything; bath, read and then bed with cup of warm milk. Please has anyone anymore suggestions?

Heidi - posted on 12/02/2008

Hi! This worked with my family when my girls were 2 and 4. I printed up a "chart" of their bedtime routine. Instead of words, I used pictures. They got to put a start for every task that was completed such as pick up toys, take bath, put on pj's, brush teeth, read book, take a last drink, pray, and go to bed. I told them every night, you don't have to go to sleep, but you have to stay in bed with no fussin! It took about a week with the 2 year old of her coming out of her room several (like 10) times, and I just quietly said, it is bed time for Emma and put her back in her bed. Now, she occasionally tests the limits to make sure they're still there, but she has only gotten up a couple different nights, and each time it has been one time. You have to be tough and stick to it, but keep a calm, positive and firm voice. This is just what worked for us. Good luck!

Michelle - posted on 12/02/2008

I agree with what most have already told you. Warn her: "15 Minutes 'till bedtime" "5 minutes 'til bedtime"

Stick to a routine: whatever works for you. Bath, book, prayers always worked for me. The bath relaxes them, get 'em snuggled into their bed, read 2 books of their choice and then prayers and ask God to help them sleep well and have good dreams so they can grow strong and smart.

Stick to your routine and let her know you love her and that's why she needs to go to bed before you because when she is asleep is when her body & brain grows. You can stay up because you're done growing but she needs her sleep to get bigger!

She'll test you but don't give in, know you are doing what's best for her and you're a good mom for doing it. She may pitch a couple of fits but I promise you ,if you don't give in, she'll be no problem within 2 weeks.

Tracey - posted on 12/02/2008

thanks i will try!!

Sanna - posted on 12/02/2008

hi,:)my daughter is becoming 3and she had trouble to go bed,so iam so called lazy mom so i figured out that if we play together before going wash her teeth it goes smoothly bfore she knew we had play ourself in bed and then i take her next to me and sing a song and wait until shes a sleep this is how it goes in our place this really worked with my gal.so all she neede was a little bit extra tenderness from mom:)

Suzanne - posted on 12/02/2008

you might try warning her 15 min, then 10 min, then 5 min before bed, so that she knows what is coming. also, maybe if you try explaining to her what you expect of her at bedtime during a time when she is calm and able to listen. trying to teach something when she's agitated or stressed isn't going to work very well. another suggestion that i have run across before is more of a realization... you can make her go to her room, but you can't make her go to sleep. maybe if she knew that it wasn't like you're forcing her to lie down and close her eyes she wouldn't have a fit. my 2YO took a book to bed with him the other day. i wasn't going to argue with him about it so i just left the room like i always do, and within 15 minutes i heard it hit the floor.

Montse - posted on 12/02/2008

Even if nothing has changed routine wise, like I said before, this is the age they start testing their limits. Bedtime is one of the ways they start. We went through this with my now 4 yo when she was about that age. You just have to be firm and no nonsense about it. If you make a huge deal and get really frustrated about it it'll just get worse. She has to understand you're the boss when it comes to this. Try giving her some choices though... for example let her choose her pj, the cup she drinks her bedtime milk from, the bedtime story you read her. She needs to feel like she's in charge a little. As long as when she falls asleep she's fine and there's no "night terrors" or anything else health wise that's going on its most likely just a power struggle. Good Luck.

Tracey - posted on 12/02/2008

she is two and a half and no nothing has changed in routine at all

Samantha - posted on 12/02/2008

I think that Suzanne Hojnicki might be onto something. If she feels that she will be missing out on something when it is bedtime she may raise a fuss. Could there be a temp change between the basement and upstairs? Good Luck

Montse - posted on 12/02/2008

I don't know how old she is but if she's old enough to understand things (like let's say about 2 or older) then my best suggestion is to be firm. You have to establish a routine and stick with it as much as possible. At that age they start testing you, and in my experience you have to stand your ground, esp. with things like bedtime. It will not be easy the first couple of nights but she will eventually get back into the routine of bedtime in HER bed. I wish it was easier but she need to understand that she is not a grown up and can not choose her own bedtime. We made lots of mistakes with our older daughter and sleep routines and at 9 yo she is still giving us trouble. With our younger daughter we were very firm on this and all is well. We have gone through some struggles with the younger one (bad dreams, fears) but if you keep on encouraging and just make it "NO nonsense" you will succeed! HTH.

User - posted on 12/02/2008

How old is she?

Suzanne - posted on 12/02/2008

okay, i have a couple of questions... first of all, how old is she? next, what did bedtime used to be like? what changed? are there more interesting things going on when you're trying to put her to bed? for example, are you guys watching TV and she thinks she will miss out on something?