My daughter keeps hitting and biting me!

Danielle - posted on 01/14/2010 ( 22 moms have responded )

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My 11 month old daughter loves to throw temper tantrums and for the past month she has started hitting and biting. She will even try to claw my face if she is close enough. Everytime she hits I tell her "no" and move her hand but it doesnt work. I have even tapped her hand back to show her it does not feel good. That doesnt work either. Telling her "no" when she bites doesnt work as well. She will still look at me, lean over and bite me. I even got a bruise from her bite. Anyone know how to help break these habits because it seems nothing im doing is working?

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Theresa - posted on 01/14/2010

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Pick her up, put her in her crib and say "No bitting" or "No hitting." Then leave her in there for a few (2-3) minutes. When you come back to get her if she continues, put her back in without saying anything and leave for a couple minutes again. Continue until she is nice. She will eventually learn not to hit and bite. It may take some time. Little ones can be very stubborn sometimes.

Sara - posted on 01/14/2010

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I agree with Dana. You don't want to draw attention to the behavior by making a big deal out of it, because even negative attention is attention. When my daughter would bite, I would say "no" firmly, then sit her down and move on. The trick is being more persistent than they are! Good luck!

Dana - posted on 01/14/2010

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If you're holding her say no, then set her down and walk away . If your sitting by her, say no and then walk away. Teach her cause and effect, if I bite or hit mommy she walks away and ignores me. They won't like that very much and quit the behavior. Just make sure to say No and only the word no, you don't need a big conversation on why it's bad and make sure to not interact with her for a few minutes. This really will work, just be consistent. Smacking her hand or as some people suggest, biting her will only teach her more bad behavior. You can't tell her no and then turn around and do it yourself.

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H.J - posted on 01/23/2010

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There are many reasons for a child biting and biting back never solves it... I know cos I was bitten back by my sister and I just resolved to bite back harder and it was a power struggle!!!! My mum then removed me from the situation and deprived me from attention and it worked ten times better. Parents who find time outs fail are parents who don't do it consistently and firmly. You need to assert discipline from a very young age. Discipline does not include smacking. It means from an early age setting out expectations for your child that are appropriate for their age. Children are social beings and if you remove attention they will learn quickly that it is not okay.

Jolene - posted on 01/23/2010

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Biting back worked for me. It was not hard, did not leave a mark what so ever. Just enough to teach them it hurts and not to do that. Everything else did not work. They need to understand how if feels for the receiver, to the child biting it feels good.

Jessica - posted on 01/23/2010

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I have a friend whose kid bites constantly and she wont bite back!! your choice both of mine got the point when I bit them back never had an issue after! Try time outs but when all else fails...

Danielle - posted on 01/23/2010

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A man that was friends with my husband had child services take his daughter away after he bit her back for biting him... I wouldn't suggest hurting your kid back in any way shape or form. Didn't your parents teach you "two wrongs don't make a right?"

H.J - posted on 01/22/2010

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NEVER EVER EVER BITE YOUR CHILD BACK!!!!!!! Mandated notifiers will report families if they see a bite mark on a child... how do I know this I am one!!! I've watched many families go through this problem and the parents who bite their child will end up with other behaviours such as hitting. It is never okay to return violence with violence. The child will then learn it's okay to hit if somebody hits me its okay to bite back if somebody bites me... Dana, Sara and Theresa have it right! I've seen this work for years in child care. Tanya see another doctor there is something wrong and if you don't get any joy take him to emergency at least they will run tests to find out what is happening

Tanya - posted on 01/22/2010

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i need help for the last three nites my son has been throwing up but it always seems to happen after 2 am not matter what we do hes still doing it i dont know what i can do its driving me crazy any ideas i have took him to doc but they havnt a clue so mums help

Tanya - posted on 01/22/2010

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am in the same boat with my 1 year old daughter but we have tryed everything when we tell her of she justs laughts at us it doesnt help that her 3 year old brother lets her get away with biteing him and shout at us when we shout at her so then we have them both having ago but we tryrd the slapping her hand she hits us back then so any ideas on how to sort them both out i understand mys son is only standing up for his baby sister but its driving us crazy

Mel - posted on 01/21/2010

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It sounds like you are not being firm enough. Generally tapping and telling the baby "no" works. I know our daughter gets upset whe my partner tells her no, but not with me because I am not firm enough or maybe its because he has a deeper voice. For the biting bite her back so that she knows how it feels. She should soon stop. My daughter bit my shoulder for the first time last night, she is teething and I looked straight at her and told her how naughty she was and that she is not to do that again. I really think your daughter needs some firm discpline and it has to be consistant because if you dont do the same things every time then she wont understand. Good luck sweetie

Amanda - posted on 01/21/2010

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I was told to tell them "dont bite or hit" then move them from where you are, like to the otherside of the room and give them something else to turn their attention to. keep removing them from where you are but still in the same room and repeat as many times as it takes.. My daughter just laughs if i do anything other than this. good luck!

Lynn - posted on 01/21/2010

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I'll tell you what my mom did with me--she bit me--not hard even to break the skin-just enough to pinch me---I was told I never bit again---it worked with my two

Danielle - posted on 01/20/2010

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Thank you everyone. I will keep all methods in mind and see what works best. I appreciate all the help

Denise - posted on 01/17/2010

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honesty wins for me when my son was younger he did the hair pulling slapping and biting. i douldnt think of anything else to do that i havent tried already then when my mom was babysitting for me she told me he ran her down and bit her after she told him not to do something and when i was there she showed me a baseball size bruise on her thigh were he bit her, low and behold he was getting into things again and she told him no and he turned and ran straight at her mouth open arms out to grab her and just before he bit her leg again i picked him up pulled his pants down and bit him on the leg. when i sat him down he just looked at me and looked at his leg and i said it hurts dont it he said yes and i said thats why you dont bite i did the same thing when he pulled my hair and for whatever reason he stopped all together. and weve never had anymore issues with those areas. although i dont believe this works for all kids but whatever you find that works for you is the way to go. but like previously mentioned the less drastic measures consistency is and always will be the key. dont cave in because when you do kids will usually see what else they can get away with.

Vickie - posted on 01/17/2010

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I am no expert but am thinking you need to distract her each time she does this with something in the room. The more you fight her back the more she may want to keep doing these things. Use books, pointing to things whatever positive thing you can find to get her mind off herself.

Lisa - posted on 01/16/2010

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I have to agree with the biting back. It only takes one time for them to get the message that this is not acceptable and not nice. It worked for me and my daughter. Same thing with the hair pulling stage or all the other lovely phases they go through. It's not child abuse, it's discipline and education about actions/reactions and choices. Nip it in the bud.

Margaret - posted on 01/15/2010

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I'm not sure biting back is such a great idea. You might injure him and you could actually be cited for child abuse. I think babies tend to forget pain, but what they fear most is abandonment. I'm not suggesting you traumatize your baby, but when he bites or claws, by saying No and placing him in his crib and leaving the room for a few minutes, then repeat that consistently whenever he bites or claws at you, he will eventually make the connection. The key is consistency. And don't forget to be very loving when he stops!

Darlene - posted on 01/14/2010

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I will be totally honest. I have 3 kids and only one of them tried the biting thing and he was my first. I asked my mother what to do and she said bite him back. I know how terrible that sounds, but my mom said it worked for her. I tired everything, ignoring him (he would chase me down and bite my ancles!!), time out, and even spanking him. So one day he bite me extra hard outta nowhere, so I grabbed his arm and bite him back, I mean I left teeth marks. He never bit me again. I know it sounds like child abuse but he drew blood from me one time, after I bit him I told him that is how it feels to be bitten, he didn't cry but he looked at me like he was saying "oh well that doesn't feel very good" and I think he got my point. I wouldn't recommend this approach for all babd behavior but it worked for me.

Dana - posted on 01/14/2010

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I just want to say how nice it is to hear the first few responses be reasonable and intelligent responses. Rock on ladies...:)

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