My fiancee shows no physical emotion for our month old son? Bad?
Abbie - posted on 08/22/2009
From what you described its not physical emotion, its just that he doesn't do anything with the baby. Which some men feel they are "above" for some reason. My husband didn't do anything with our son in the beginning, not that he felt above it, he was scared to do anything - for 2 reasons, 1- he would do something not to my liking or 2- he wasn't comfortable with it. Not all men are all about being daddys and even if they are doesn't mean they have a clue what they are doing.
I would speak to him about it, tell him you want his help. he may not want to step on your toes.
Jenny - posted on 08/22/2009
My husband is the same way with our daughter. He said he was the same way
with his two other children the reason he gave me for being that way is because...he feels like he can bond with them better when they are a little older....I told him though that he needed to show her the same attention that he should his other children because even if she isnt as old as them...as she gets older she was going to start picking up on it
Sara - posted on 08/22/2009
Carley, have you asked him why he seems so withdrawn from the child? Sometimes men are distant with infants and then fall in love with the child as the child gets older. But sometimes men are afraid of infants and ignore them because they're afraid. Or sometimes they feel like the infant is still a part of the mother, and they don't know how to respond.
Jackie - posted on 08/22/2009
my husband didn't touch any of our 3 kids after we came home from the hospital. he didn't change a diaper or feed any of them for at least 3 months. When your son gets older and he still doesn't do anything with him, then be worried. But I think it's a guy thing to kind of be afraid of something so small. My husband was scared to death of breaking a leg while changing them or just hurting them by accident because they were so small. They don't realize babies are tougher than they look.
Stacey - posted on 08/22/2009
My Husband has always been great with kids, when our 2 were newborns, he would hold them & show affection, but very little. While they were so tiny & 'boring' he was a little scared of bathing them and changing their nappies, and I felt like I had to push him to pay a little attention to them, but as they got older, he started to feel more confident and once the babies start smiling, laughing & generally 'doing' more than just eat & sleep my Husband became more interested, so dont feel too bad, give it some time. Also, some of us Mums have a certain way of doing things (i did) and find it hard to just let the Dads do it their own way, so sometimes that also turns the Dads off.
Hollie - posted on 08/22/2009
My husband did the same with our daughter didn't really want to hold her or play with her very often. I couldn't even really get him to feed her or change her diapers I think he only feed her maybe 3 times while she was a baby. But now he is just so great with her he takes her places and plays with her. I think its the whole baby thing, they can't really do anything yet and they think they are breakable so they don't know what to do and it makes them nervous. I think in time he will get over it.
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