MY FOUR YEAR OLD ASKED ME TODAY MOMMY HOW DO BABIES GET IN YOUR BELLY? NOT SURE HOW OR IF SHE IS READY FOR THIS ONE

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Shawnn - posted on 01/09/2013

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She is ready for the 4 yo version of the truth, Tabitha. Why lie or fabricate a story now that you'll have to retract later? And, believe me, you're going to be asked later why you lied in the first place. Be honest.

Babies get into mommy's belly because mommy and daddy love each other very much and they play a special "adult" game that puts the baby there.

LOL...fairy "magic" kisses...do your kid a favor. Tell them as much of the truth as is possible at all times. Believe me. If she's ready to ask the question, she's ready to hear age appropriate truth. And, to be honest, "magic" kisses and "twinkles" have nothing to do with how the baby got there.

Cari - posted on 01/23/2013

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I'm a Christian and I know not everybody in here is but when my 3 yr old asked how her sister got inside mommy's tummy I simply said "God put her in there" I told her that mommy and daddy wanted another baby so we prayed and asked God and when He was ready for us to have another, he put the baby in. I told her the baby was teeny-tiny at first and then every day she got a little bit bigger and stronger just like you (the 3 yr old). She wanted to pray and ask God for a baby in her tummy, I told her she had to grow up and go to college first, then when she gets married she can have a baby too. Until then she can be the big sister helper with mommy's babies and her baby dolls. That way when it's her turn she'll be really good at being a mommy. This has completely satisfied her and she will even tell ppl that when she gets big and goes to college she's gonna get married and have a baby lol she loves the idea and is looking forward to it :-)

Dove - posted on 01/09/2013

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Ditto Shawnn. Age appropriate, TRUTHFUL answers with as little detail as possible. If she's not satisfied with your answer... she'll keep pressing for more details.

Becky - posted on 01/09/2013

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I agree with Shawnn. Give your daughter an age appropriate answer, just enough to satisfy their curiosity, but not too much for their little minds to handle. I love the "adult game" idea!

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Paula - posted on 01/22/2014

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My 4 year old daughter just asked me this question tonight. I am thinking for a while before I answer her...and while I was thinking - I did a search for this situation and found this feed. Good news... it seems from my Google search results - this is a very common question for kids her age. Bad news... I haven't come across anything that stands out as something I would want her to hear at this time. I like the idea of "When Mommys and Daddys love each other ...." but beyond that I'm still not sure. I know that whatever I tell her - she will ask more questions - she's too smart already and very inquisitive. I am guessing that if I sat her down with some pictures and an honest answer - she would somehow understand... so maybe it's ME that's not ready for this yet. I will keep thinking about it- and I know that the answer will come sooner or later. Not everything must be answered immediately...its good to teach "patience" as well ;) Good luck to you.

Cari - posted on 01/23/2013

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Correction, my daughter was 2 1/2 when she first asked, she's 3 1/2 now, the answer still satisfies her.

S. - posted on 01/10/2013

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If their old enough to ask then they are old enough for a age appropriate answer! for what ever they ask because the question's just get harder and more embarrassing with age, if you answer everything in a simple matter of fact mummy isn't bothered about answering this way, it makes things easier for them to come to you when they get bigger.

i can tell you honestly for YEAR I though the daddy planted a seed in the mummy's food and the mummy ate it and a baby ended up in the mummy's tummy! That did me no favoures what so ever I just grew up realised I was wrongs and my sisters was laughing at me for years for "Being stupid" I stopped asking my mother things I'd rather get your too young to know that, come back when your bigger or a big fat lie that left me feeling daft.

Shawnn - posted on 01/10/2013

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So, Loraine, what about the word "adult" don't you like? In my house, when told "this is an ADULT thing", my kids had been taught that "adult" means "kids don't do this"...

Which is why it's fine to tell them it's an ADULT thing, so that they don't think that it is appropriate to be done as a KID. Same way I taught them that abuse was wrong, that sexual perversion was wrong... Just like with certain words that you tell the kids are "adult" words.

Worked with my kids anyway ;-)

Tabitha - posted on 01/10/2013

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Loraine, hi i am new to all this i am so lost i have grown up without a mother. well other than my moma Reta she was my aunt but i was only with her off and on. my carrier was no kind of a mother and now i have two girls of my own to raise and i am trying my best to raise them the right way. but omg it can be so hard at times when they come to me with these questions. If it was not for the circle of moms i don't know what i would do???? I mean google had became my mom and dad and rolled into one because i have noone to call and say help me with this please! but anyway now that you have said that about children wanting to act as grown ups it does make sense.I also don't ever want to worry about someone else "playing" a grown up game with her now that i have thought about about it. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING SO I DID NOT MAKE ANOTHER MISTAKE!!!!!!! MUCH LOVE TABBY

FoxyMom - posted on 01/10/2013

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I agree with truthful age appropriate answers. We have a farm and breed goats and such so he knew how animal babys were made. When he asked me about people babies I told him that when a mommy and daddy love each other there is an egg in the mommies tummy that turns into a baby and that made him happy. I've always been pretty honest with him and gave him enough information to keep him happy. So now he says that human babies are hatched on the inside and come out. Now that I'm pregnant he asked how the heck it's going to come out. He's seen a goat be born so I told him pretty much the same way. So then he assumed that babies were pooped out so we went over a very brief female anatomy and I told him that girls have a baby hole and that's how the baby comes out. Granted he's a mature 9 year old now so he got it and we are done with that conversation for now.

Loraine - posted on 01/10/2013

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Sorry ladies but the idea of telling a child parents play "adult games" horrifies me. Call me old fasioned but the images that expression brings to mind!!!

Children are by nature curious & often want to do & find out about "adult" things. How often do we see children imitating smoking & swearing & spitting like adults & older children?

Little children always want to be big children big children want to be adults. What happens if an older child or adult says to a younger one "do you want to play an adult game" ? Will they think, mommy & daddy play this game so its ok? The possibilities of the outcome in todays world don't bare thinking about.

I'm not saying you should lie to your child but I would certainly think twice before using the words "adult games" Our children grow up too quickly & if you can preotect there inocents a little longer I feel it has to be healthy for them.

My girls are now 21 & 19yrs old. They were taught age apropriately at 8/9yrs about periods, puberty, sex & stds. Given books & we had lots of girl talks.

Just my opinion & what worked for them.

Good luck, whatever you decide x

Tabitha - posted on 01/09/2013

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Thank you Shawnn!!!! i was not sure if she was ready or not for this talk. I am still a little worried cause noone ever had this talk with meand i had a baby a a young age. I want both my girls to do better with their lives than i did. I also always want to be honest with them so they can never say that i lied to them about anything and will always feel free to come to me with anything!!!!! thank you so so much shawnn you helped more than you know maybe i can be of help to you just let me know. lots of thanks from the Morgan family:)

Loraine - posted on 01/09/2013

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lol Hi Tabitha, I remember this 1. At for my girls got there from a twinkle in their daddys eye. He gave me a magic kiss on my belly which put the twinkle there & made them.

They were happy with this till they were older lol

Good luck

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