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My husband bought a car for his daughter before we finished discussing it

Giselle - posted on 12/02/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My husband bought a car for his daughter before we finished discussing it. She just crashed her last car and I didn't really want to put another car in our name for her. He went out and bought the car I am so upset. I haven't talked to him in two days and I don't really want to speak him again after this. I am really hurt I feel like I will not get over this. I can't believe we are locked into a car now for years.

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7 Comments

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Michelle - posted on 12/02/2012

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Well unless you are going to discuss it with him there's not much else we can tell you.

Giselle - posted on 12/02/2012

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I'm fine with her. She feels bad for causing a problem but, I already let her know that it is not her that caused the problem but the way her dad went about it is the problem. I'm so stressed out. I feel like I can't forgive him for this. We have already been having problems in our marriage and now this is added to it. I'm childishly avoiding him its all I can do at the moment

Michelle - posted on 12/02/2012

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Now I understand why he did it. He doesn't want his little princess to be upset with him if he says no to her. I've seen it many times. You have every right to be upset and peeved for sure. I agree that she didn't deserve a new car again and a 2nd hand one would have been enough.



Really you do need to discuss it with him and tell him how you feel. If you don't you will end up resenting her for causing a rift like this in your marriage.

Giselle - posted on 12/02/2012

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No she doesn't live with us. She is my stepdaughter.

Michelle - posted on 12/02/2012

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So she doesn't even live with you? Is she your daughter as well or his from another relationship?

Giselle - posted on 12/02/2012

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His reason for wanting to get her a car were so that she stays in school. But, did it have to be a brand new car? I was thinking that we could help her get a used car instead of taking out an auto loan. He just made the decision so quickly. We talked about it a little bit one night and I told him that I was not comfortable with the idea. Then the next day his daughter came over our house and he had the car parked on our street waiting for her. I had no idea. I was very upset I felt so betrayed. I am not sure how to get over this. It's a long commitment and I feel like I will constantly be reminded of how he handled this financial decision with no regard for me. I know I shouldn't let finances control our life but I just feel this is a huge slap in the face, like I just don't really matter in this relationship

Michelle - posted on 12/02/2012

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I agree with you. She doesn't deserve a new car to be paid for if she can't look after them.



What was his reason for doing it? Some dad's treat their daughters like spoilt little princesses and the daughters know that Daddy will do anything for them. It's not teaching her responsibility for her actions when he will just replace what she breaks.



I would let your husband know that making a major purchase without consultation with you isn't a good way to run the finances of the household. I'm sure that all the other major purchases have been discussed and agreed apon so why is this one different.

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