my husband is hanging out with a girl, is that wrong?

Krista - posted on 07/13/2012 ( 367 moms have responded )

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my husband and i have been having marital issues.. when i came home early from a month trip to suprise him he wasnt home, i drove around to find his car at another girls dorm room (at 3am) he told me they are just friends and i actually became friends with her myself over the last week, but he has been leaving me to go hang out with her.. he just told me the other day that he wants a separation because i have hurt him so much he feels numb to marriage... tonight he told me he wanted alone time and to get away from me, come to find out hes with her.. married men arent suppose to be hanging out with girls alone, "just friends" or not right?

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Jodi - posted on 07/13/2012

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He told you he wants to separate, you come home early and find him in a girl's dorm room at 3am? And he spends his spare time with her? Can I say red flags?

Latrice - posted on 07/14/2012

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Krista sweetie I'm sorry 2 tell u this but he's cheating don't b so nieve if he wasent man enough to tell u u don't need him. Get divorced an enjoy the single life till your with a guy that's worthy of your time an won't cheat

Bekki - posted on 07/14/2012

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I'm sorry to say if he hasn't cheated with this girl already it's only a matter of time. You need to get this girl out of the picture now and sort out your issues. If he's not prepared to do that I would be saying goodbye.

Kristi - posted on 07/15/2012

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Men are dogs and do not have the self control to "just be friends." It might be a little different if they had known each other since Kindergarden and were friends before you got involved. But otherwise, Sorry, Charlie...

I'd bet money he is cheating and the only "alone time" he wants is time alone with his girlfriend. It totally sucks and hurts like hell but the sooner you and your kids are able to move on, the better you will be. I wish you the best and hope you are able to move forward with strength and resolve.

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Courtney - posted on 09/02/2012

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No honey, that's not normal. Married men are supposed to be home with their wives and kidos at 3 am on any morning. He is completely wrong either way. Even if for some miracle he isn't sleeping with this girl, there are still boundaries. Certainly, he is over the line here.

Courtney - posted on 09/02/2012

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No honey, that's not normal. Married men are supposed to be home with their wives and kidos at 3 am on any morning. He is completely wrong either way. Even if for some miracle he isn't sleeping with this girl, there are still boundaries. Certainly, he is over the line here.

April - posted on 09/01/2012

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It's not good that he doesn't want to be with you! Going to see someone else and saying they are "just friends" is a lie that he can't support. Both of you need therapy, but if he won't go you should still go. It's not good to live like this. I would not tolerate it if my husband did that. We went into our marriage with the expectation that we wouldn't tolerate that kind of behavior from either of us. Both of you have to be committed from the very beginning. Marriages are like roller coasters in that there will be ups and downs from time to time. It's how you handle the down times before you are married is how things will be once you are married. I would however not be naive and just let him separate without any repurcussions. You will need to speak to an attorney just in case the therapy doesn't work for you two. Good luck.

Jessica - posted on 09/01/2012

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Ok whether or not he's actually sleeping with her. They may be friends... I can say this because my marriage has been down many roads... We have both had emotional affairs, I've hurt him badly before.. I've accused him of the same thing bc of the actions being taken but deep down I never felt like he was cheating... And he wasn't he was honestly just needing a friend to talk to and she took advantage of a man who needed support but nom a single female... Just be careful I mean if he is going to leave he will either wayut the thing is you can't be dirty and play games... It's not fair to either of you.Buint in my opinion no a man should never be with another fema esp at that time of the day... A man needs a man's support and female a femalesupport... When the two mix outside of a marriage, lines are crossed even if it wasnt meant to...praying for both of you...

Jennifer - posted on 09/01/2012

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Where there's smoke there's fire. Let him go. He'll only hurt you more down the road.

Kush - posted on 09/01/2012

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Sounds like my ex husband... sorry hun, but I was blind until right at the end when he told me everything. It hurts like hell at the time, but since I have come to the realisation that I never loved him, however he gave me the three children I have, and I have a new partner who is seriously amazing and I actually now know what love feels like. I hope you find true happiness soon hun, its not worth beating yourself up for what hes done (I did this... tooo much!!) as he is the one who has done wrong. Keep your head up high, you will get thru it and be stronger for it.



(My ex told me hed been having an affair with one of his "friends" when I was 20odd weeks pregnant with our 3rd child... I was only 24, had a 1yr old and a 2.5yr old and 20 odd weeks pregnant. I felt like my life was in ruins, and blamed myself for what HE had done. Please dont make my mistake, it is all HIS fault he did what he did. Hugs hun)

Shirley - posted on 09/01/2012

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It could be innocent but it sounds disrespectful. Therapy may be helpful either as a couple or individua. Good luck and stay strong

Karen - posted on 09/01/2012

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It has been my personal experience that female "friends" are absolutely not good for the marriage, especially when there are "issues". I heard those same words "I need to have some alone time, sort things out" but what he did was move in with her and left me alone with 3 kids at home! We were able to work things out, get back together, but we still have issues and the mistrust is still there for me. So, dear, no, married men should not be hanging out with girls alone, and I personally believe that, for a guy ... there is no such thing as "just friends" with a girl. If he was "just friends", wouldn't he be putting the effort into your marriage rather than this girl?

Katreena - posted on 09/01/2012

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I don't have a problem with my husband hanging with his single female friends, but our marriage is rock-solid. In the situation you described, absolutely not okay.

Rebecca - posted on 09/01/2012

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Ya, he's def cheating. I read this to my husband and even he was like, dudes don't go hang out with women at 3am unless they are trying to get laid. He said, and I quote, " that's booty call hours." Hopefully you guys can either move past it together or seperate.

Angel - posted on 09/01/2012

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Well my append is this if you cannot trust your spouse (either one) and you are so worried about him cheating or finding someone else, then chain him to the bed post. I'm not gonna live like that. I do not worry about my husband, he knows what he has at home, he knows he can trust me and I trust him. Yes we all are only humans but if you allow yourself to be treat a specifiic way then you will get treated that way. I will not be with a man I cannot trust. I hang out with my male friends and then when my husband is home we all hange together. So I'm done with this discussion because its everyone repeating and repeating the same thang over and over and over. I hope this helps you girl. Be safe and keep us updated.

Alison - posted on 09/01/2012

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I think it would be okay for them to hang out if your marriage was a good, strong one. I honestly have male friends that are JUST FRIENDS. However, I don't think this is the case in your situation. There is no reason for him to be with her all the time while asking you for a separation. He spends his time with her, I don't think he is looking to fix what is broken in your relationship. He's wanting to have permission to cheat (separations sometimes give that- depending). He may have already began the affair. Because your marriage is not a happy one, he or she or both have probably made some moves towards that direction if they have not already achieved it. I'm sorry. It doesn't look good for your marriage. It would take a cold soul to befriend your wife to your lover- and it would take a cold soul to becomes friends with your lover's wife.

Linda - posted on 09/01/2012

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I have a male friend that I enjoy spending time with and yes, on occasion its 3 AM. Difference is, my hubby and I don't have troubles in our marriage (35 years and growing!) and my male friend and I have been friends for 40+ years. We don't meet in secluded places, but very public, very open places because of how it would look if we were meeting and someone "discovers" us talking in seclusion. He totally respects my marriage and wouldn't do a thing to hurt it, even though he is going thru a nasty divorce himself. He's like the big brother I've never had and that is as far as our friendship will ever progress. The occasional 3AM meeting up is because he's a long haul driver and that's when he pulls into town. My hubby has met several of my friends and he thinks we all need psychiatric help but at the same time, he thinks its great that we have kept the friendships alive for so many years after high school. :)

From what you are describing, a month long trip without your husband? That is a red flag there. I would venture a guess that this one girl isn't his only girl on the side. Doesn't make it right, but neither does the month away.

Carrie - posted on 09/01/2012

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Definitely not. Even if your man is able to keep it platonic if it makes you uncomfortable he shouldn't continue. Besides, who knows how the other girl is feeling.... She may not be feeling platonic at all and that's not good.

Carrie - posted on 09/01/2012

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These are sure signs of infadelity and I suggest counseling for you both if saving your marriage is what you both want.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/01/2012

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It is NEVER appropriate for a married man to spend time with other woman. It leads to temptation.

Rachael - posted on 09/01/2012

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Yes, I completely agree...married men shouldn't put themselves in such situation especially if they love there wives and god...he is committing adultry...if he lust in his heart he has already been unfaithful to you and god...

Michelle - posted on 09/01/2012

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Krista, your husband has been cheating on you with this other girl. At first, I'm sure he was glad you became friends with her also. (that way, you wouldn't think anything about him spending so much time with her) Please get a divorce from this man. He is not good for you. I was married previously to a man for almost 12 years, then found out he was spending time with another woman and her children while I worked. When I made him leave, the next morning my 12 yr old daughter came down the steps after getting ready for school. The first words out of her mouth was, "this is nice momma". Of coursed I asked her what she was talking about. Her response was that the house felt different with "daddy gone. I'm glad". We never argued or anything in front of the kids. I knew then that I had made the right decision making him leave. I'm sure your child(ren) can feel the tension in the house. If you don't divorce him for yourself, do for it your children.



I met the man I am now happily married to when I was 36. He is my soul mate. I think God everyday for sending him to me. So don't be discouraged and think you will spend the rest of your life alone...



Good luck dear, I hope everything works out for you.

Dominique - posted on 09/01/2012

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I think it may be different if he was "hanging out" with this chick in public places, but at her dorm? That is not appropriate at all. Maybe your husband doesn't realize, but I'm sure he wouldn't want you doing the same. It is not 100% that he is cheating, no matter what these other females say, but definitely an issue. Either spending time alone, or away from you will help you both figure out if the relationship will continue. Don't beat yourself up about it though, if he doesn't want to work through the relationship, I agree he might be looking for a way out and ending a relationship is difficult but much better than dragging it out. Good luck.

D - posted on 09/01/2012

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Krista, you are asking a bunch of strangers a personal question. Is it ok with you? Because if youre a swinger or an open type then it might be ok for you. But if you are asking women who want monogamous relationships its NOT ok. Men and women can be acquaintances but not best friends. Best friends equals wanting more and more of that person because you start caring more deeply for that person. Wanting to merge with someone you love is natural. Merge means sex. Especially at 3 am. Lol

Francois - posted on 09/01/2012

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YES!!!! Its wrong. Married life is not about other girls. Its about two persons who love each other till death. He should rather hang out with you. Make time for each other and stop being self centered. Marriage is the most sacred holy institution.

Francois - posted on 09/01/2012

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Krista your husband is fooling around. He is hurting you emotionally and playing you. You have options in life. Stick with the emotional abuser or leave the cheater.

Angel - posted on 08/31/2012

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Never let him think or know you feel this is your fault because IT IS NOT. He did this not you! He choose that path NOT YOU, she flirted, teased and he was weak NOT YOU. Never think this is your fault. You have to have trust in a marriage and that does not exits. My husband would go oversea's being military I trusted him totally. One of his CO told me that they were going on the town after a retirement party and my husband went back to the ship because he knows what he has at home and not gonna risk anything. Others went and yes they cheated on their wives big time. I trust my husband and he trust me. Now today, I would never ever think of making a new friend of the opposite sex, because I am married, but my male friends I've had for over 15 years I won't give them up either because my husband trust me and he trust them because of RESPECT, HONESTY, LOYALITY, AND MORALS. I have that line drawn and no one has ever in 15 years ever tried to cross it.

THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, NEVER THINK THAT. YOU ARE A KIND PERSON FOR TRYING TO TRUST YOUR HUSBAND AND MAKE NEW FRIENDS, THEY HAVE THE PROBLEM. Not you. Hold you head high, go file the papers and find a man that will be walk beside you not in front of you, stand beside you no matter what, be loyal, honest and respect you as his wife and as a woman. Put your standards high, go out and find your John Wayne. I did, and I have him.

Radgenal - posted on 08/31/2012

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In view of some of the comments, I think a few of y'all need to go back over what Krista said before going on with sound advice.

Krista opened up with the first bombshell all of you would have went ballistic over if you had stood there in her shoes. This isnt about is it ok for a married man to have a few female friends to associate with( perhaps like longtime friends over the years friends that you both have known) . What she is saying is that do you all , and I mean you all, think it is ok for your husband to be at a females house that you don't even know, never seen, never been introduced to, never mind the " it's ok to have a friend syndrome " it's three o'clock in the morning and you find your husband at the dorm with a chick you don't even know her name. And you all still on this click bout you your husbands have friends of the opposite sex and have maintained platonic relationships.

Krista says he wants a separation, and a break because he feels numb to marriage, no where in the bible does it says that its ok for a married man to be a another woman's house at three in the morning, I don't care if he's the Pope. And everyone you wives know if it was you that found your husbands when you returned home from a trip, at another's woman house you would have ended up on the front page of the local newspaper with the heading" WIFE PLEADS TEMPORARY INSANITY ON MANSLAUGHTER CHARGES"

Don't send out the wrong signal here, she ain't talking bout is it ok for a hubby to have an old female friend you both have over for thanksgiving and Christmas . She talking bout going beyond the boundaries of what is appropriate for a married couple.

I read one woman responded and proudly boasted of having a male friend of forty years respect her marital boundaries, but she never said she winds up at his house at three in the morning for coffee and her husband don't know of her whereabouts . Women you al know to wel that you that it ain't that you don't trust your husband around all females, it's simply you don't trust all females around your husbands , especially if it's a three o'clock in the morning rendezvou. Call it what you want, maybe I'm old fashion but if I stood in Krista shoes , I wouldn't be talkin bout if I had some trust issue, it would be going with trusting my judgement.

Ladies we have this news bulletin that comes on every nite at ten o'clock that says " do you know where your children are ? " Trust me it wouldnt be a bad idea if you knew where your hubby was also. May God bless you , and may your all of your marriages be the happiest decision you ever made always. My heart is with you Krista and may you find the best of what you deserve to have in life with the one that appreciate you a queen.

Sally - posted on 08/31/2012

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sounds to me like you "busted him" and he is trying to turn you into the bad person because "of your lack of trust". I don't know but it sounds to me like his time out from you is to try and make you feel tjat it is your fault. He feels guilty about cheating and his decision to leave, but doesn't have the balls to tell you directly, he wants to blame you. Its not your fault. Get rid of him and move on. Your are better off without a spineless cheat.

Mack - posted on 08/31/2012

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You are all making this out to be too complicated. Men and women can be friends with each other without anything going on. That said, sometimes things do happen. If it does, then it's terrible but you need to let go and move on. No relationship works with controls on either side. People need to follow their heart. If someone wants to cheat then they will. You trying to control them will never work. Either trust your partner or you shouldn't be together. But if someone does cheat, it means there was a flaw in your relationship somewhere - and that is what you should be focused on. All cheating did was bring the problem to the surface.

Lisa - posted on 08/31/2012

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I agree with everybody else...like i said i have a similiar situation but we're dating he wants a baby we've been together for 6 yrs and he has this "friend" that chill with him. I called her abd confronted her abd she told me its nothing but I wanna kick her butt im not cool with it and let me tell you this i would rather drop him let her have him and go on with my life screw him

Catherine - posted on 08/31/2012

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All circumstances are different and I must say that your situation sounds a "bit iffy"!

TRUST comes into this and you clearly don't trust him and to be honest tin the circumstances you describe I wouldn't trust him either.



However on the other side of the coin NO I don't think it is wrong for men to have female friends. My husband (and we've been married 30 years) has a lovely female friend. They play mixed golf together and have been doing so for bank holidays for the past 10 years. She is a single lady and we get on really well. If anything at first she was the one who was worried about their friendship. However I TRUST my husband to the ends of the earth and back again. He's open and honest and wouldn't lie if his life depended on it. I guess your thinking "I'm a lucky girl!!!!!" He really enjoys his game of golf on a bank holiday Sunday and when the game is over I get a telephone call from him and we all have a lovely meal together at their golf club.



We've always had honesty in our marriage. I haven't got any male friends as such, well not the kind I would socialize with but I know if I did it would be okay with my husband 'cos he trusts me too.



I have always found it very strange when you see a guy you know in the street and say hello to him and he's saying hello back but the minute you see him with his wife he ignores you. Again this is what I call a trust issue



Yes I am a lucky girl but we've worked at our marriage together and thank God we love and respect each other and oh yes we do TRUST each other.



Good luck my lovely and I really hope everything works out right for you

Therese - posted on 08/31/2012

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No none of this is your fault, he is cheating for sure and he is trying to blame you on it! "Aw I can't believe you thought I was cheating, I think we're over or need a break!" She must be a two faced bit** to try make friends with you too.. I can't believe he was over at her place at 3am!? Just confront him, it will be hard yes but you want to know where you stand. Find out if there is any councelling that you can both get. Ask him why does he need her for a friend when your there for him? I wonder how he would like it if you made a male friend and was seeing him at 3am? I hope things work out for you both.. Also take all the support you can get! Your in my prayers sweetie! xx

Breanna - posted on 08/31/2012

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I was always told that in a marriage to avoid any problems like this when you are married you should always take it serious no matter the situation or dont get married so when there are friends that are the opposite sex either they also need to be in a relationship or both of you have to be friends with them and certain boundries have to be set and im sorry but that is way out of line and so either you listen to him and divorce or go to some kind of counsling and get rid of that girl.

Stephanie - posted on 08/30/2012

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Absolutely not! This is how extra martial affairs come about. It also shows that this woman has no respect for herself by doing this to you. But what people fell to realize is, what they do to one person, it's already done unto them. This is the law of sowing and reaping that individuals don't understand when they do such things to other people. And see, you will SEE what shall befall her because of the unjustices to you. It's just the law of nature and many don't realize the trouble they bring up for themselves. Hold fast even in the mist of heart ache and pain. For what a man/woman sow he SHALL reap the labor of his/her hands. Hold your head up and be of a good cheer. For all things are about to work in your favor. With much love, Mrs. Pettus stephaniepettus@ymail.com

Antonella - posted on 08/30/2012

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i personally dont think its right. you want to hang out with a girl sure ill be with you and so will her bf/gf. but no married man should be alone with another w oman and like wise for a married woman with a man. i wouldnt be to happy about it.

Angel - posted on 08/30/2012

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Well I do understand everyone's point but I have emotional ties to my friends, like I said we've been friends for over 15 yrs. and I do care for them a lot and my husband understand that. He trust me and he trust them. If I was gonna have a intimate relationship after so long I would have already did so. But again, I wouldn't be with them in a room alone at 3 a.m. in the morning. I agree that having starting a new relationship with a female thats a no no. I wouldn't even think of doing so. But like I've always said once a cheater always a cheater. Pack his bags and set them out on the curb.

Angela - posted on 08/30/2012

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Angel, I never said that married men couldn't have female friends and vice versa, I said that when there is shared intimacy (and I DON'T mean sex, I just mean shared emotional intimacy) it's not good. The married people who keep their opposite sex friends and include their marriage partner in the circle of friendship aren't doing anything wrong. It's when there's secrecy and the married person is telling their friend stuff about their spouse, personal stuff, complaints etc .. then that's not preserving and safeguarding their marriage. You say your husband has a female friend but admit that "out of respect to me her and her husband and me and my husband hang together. They never hang alone."



I may not have been clear enough in my earlier post.



And I was presenting my views from the stance where there is NO sex between the male and the female "friends". Just because there is no sex, doesn't mean there is no problem! The people that develop these emotional bonds with opposite sex friends that they allow to transcend in importance over the relationship they have with their spouse always insist that they're not having sex with their friend - as though this makes everything OK.



It's known as an emotional affair. Which can be just as devastating as a sexual affair. There's a difference between the two, but no difference in the potential damage it causes.

Lauren - posted on 08/30/2012

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That's do wrong of him. No married man should be hanging out with another woman at 3am at a dorm.

Angel - posted on 08/30/2012

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Really Angela really, me and my husband had friends b4 we married. Now short friends well they have long gone but friends that have been around for YEARS like mine over 15 yrs. theres no intimacy there, sorry to disappoint you. I don't even think about having that type of relationship with them, really. And my husband does have a female friend and out of respect to me her and her husband and me and my husband hang together. They never hang alone. If men and women are so weak that they cannot have a friend with out thinking of sex all of the time then majority should never get married then. I do not have a problem with my friends, we have been friends for over 15 plus years and they have never approach me in that way because I have that line drawn, I have morals and respect for myself. They are my friends nothing more nothing less.

Angel - posted on 08/30/2012

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Rad you said it all, but once you let him go don't let him come back because once a cheater always a cheater.

Angela - posted on 08/30/2012

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There are more marriages and relationships break up than you'd ever imagine over one of the partners having a close friend of the opposite sex. There doesn't have to be a sexual affair or romantic interest, the fact that they are friends means there's a closeness and intimacy which should only be there for the spouse/partner.



http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage...



http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_it_appropri...



http://voices.yahoo.com/emotional-affair...



http://www.boundlessline.org/2010/03/opp...



http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id...



http://www.twoofus.org/educational-conte...



Above are LOADS of weblinks which advise against opposite sex friendships for married people if the spouse isn't present at the meetings. It's what's known as an "emotional affair". Don't allow your husband to indulge in one. It's not appropriate. He may well be physically faithful but he's not being mentally faithful.

Radgenal - posted on 08/30/2012

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Are u serious? I had to read this over 4 times and still can't fathom u really are asking for some guidance in your marital bliss, if u wanna call it that.

Some things you shouldn't have to explain, this is one of them. Unless you r some type of pain freak, continue full speed ahead,bcuz it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the message your hubby is trying to relay to u. U just don't get it !

I mean really Krista, the first red flag u should've notice was when u came home from your trip, and at 3 (am) u had to go looking for Playboy . Evidently u all don't have cell phones, and it seems he didn't have a clue u were coming. Major red flag for someone who is suppose to be looking out for your welfare. U can't be that clueless .

There shouldn't even have been an discussion from that point on, u should've had his ______

packed outside the door when got there. He must be your first love and u just hadn't had any other relationships outside of PLAYBOY, bcuz he's really done a number on u and yo ability to see when two people r married and luv each other they don't have discussions about things like this.

Krista its evident that u really love PLAYBOY, and u have bent over backwards by even going for the "we"re just friends lingo" . The only reason PLAYBOY even done this is bcuz he knew he could get away with it. Otherword he knew u would go for it out of yo luv for him.

Then you say he says he wants a separation , is that the same thing as a divorce ? Why would anyone wanna be alone and away to think things out from the one they say they love ? People don't do things like this to people they love, especially married people.

Seems to me that you really should have gotten advice before you married PLAYBOY, and saved yourself the heartache and pain of finding out he's just a outfield player crossing the mound. U have to decide how u deserve to be treated as a woman. U shouldve decided from the start that u weren't just gonna be the women in his life, but the only women in life who he wants to go spending time with @ 3 (am) in the morning.... A man will only treat u the way u allow him to. Married couples don't separate , they divorce and go on

What you should have done was had you a friend there when he decided to return home from his friends house, and introduced him to your friend. U should have found you some friendship that wanted to entertain your company, and you would have observed what a man wants to be at a woman's house at 3 in the morning too, it's all elementary Krista. Then u couldve explained to PLAYBOY all u found out about how men act alone with females they not married to at that time in the morning. That's how u do that, that's the message u send and get results. Besides I doubt very seriously that if he went that far even after u found out about his so called female friendship and continued on seeing her, and even telling u he was numb now to marriage, that u should even be worrying yourself with what's so obvious to even u.

Krista you know the answer to your problem u just don't wanna accept it. It's simple ! Ask yourself If u were at a mans house at that time and found yourself wanting to spend more time with him more often than with your husband , what reason would you be behaving in this manner? You just a squirrel in his world and he just out getting a nut !

If u wanna know if something belongs to u, let it go . If it comes back on its own, then it belonged to you. But if it doesn't , then you really haven't lost anything because it didn't really belong to you in the first place, so u really haven't lost anything.

Love is rare thing today, if u find it , cherish it ! Don't go trying to find love, that's where most women make their fatal mistakes, LET LOVE FIND YOU WHERE EVER YOU BE.... Call me 601 513 9997

Frank - posted on 08/29/2012

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your right after solong things begain between to chang witheach other then its diffrent feeling for each other and someone eyels is left out of the pitcher.

Angel - posted on 08/29/2012

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I understand what everyone is saying and I totally agree if they've haven't never been friends b4 now. Unlike their situation I have been friends with my male friends for over 15 to 18 years and way b4 I met my husband. My previous husband did cheat on me with my so call BFF but we had only been friends for about 2 years, he left with the intention of seeing if that relationship was going to go somewhere if not he actually expected to come back, yeah right. NOT, I divorced him and my friends were excited. Now me and my friends have never crossed that line because one friendship line had been drawn years, years, ago and two I have morals, respect and higher standard for myself. We are friends, best friends NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS. We all hang and get along together and when my husband is gone on a job site they call to see if I'm ok, if I need to go get my meds, or need to go get groceries. Simple I am who I am and my friends that I've had for over 15 yrs. well my husband does not have an issue.

Lisa - posted on 08/29/2012

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I'm going through a similar situation but Im not married I can only speak from experience and tell you what I did since I wasn't getting any straight answers from him I decided to call her up and speak with her just to find out what was going on and after listening to her talk(which I might add she kept calling me back) I found out that she kept saying she "liked him" and that they were "just friends" and that I should give him time and get out of his life(needless to say thats not happening) but after listening to all that i had to decide what I was going to do so then I confronted him with everything that was said long story short he's with me he knows i have a problem with that and at the end of the day he's cutting her off..now do I trust what he says yes/no but if I see it blossoming again he knows he's going to lose me and what we've built for 6 years.....btw its totally wrong

Marie - posted on 08/29/2012

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I agree that married men are not suppose to be around females alone. I feel that he shouldnt want to do this bc of things that could get started from it. I makes you wonder if he even cares about what you are feeling?????and I would choose that he doesnt bc he is still doing it. I would personally not take this crap that he is doing and be strong. Dont allow him to think that this is ok behavior and put that foot down.

Sheetal - posted on 08/29/2012

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just let him be. there's no way u can get love and loyalty from a man...especially when you have to ask for it. just show him that his happiness matters to you the most and let him be the way he is...be it right or wrong. u start focusing on yourself and be confident about the way u look n feeel, Do not show him the weaker and miserable part of yourself.

MAke new male friends and hang out with them just for the heck of it...to distract your sulking heart.



Things will change ...trust me...if his love for you was REAL.

Angel - posted on 08/28/2012

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Umm Reese: who said I didn't but my friends checks up on me by calling and seeing if I need anything if my husband is on a job site. I have fibromyalgia, liver issues and I cannot drive due

to medications I am taking. One of my male friends, me and him have been friends for over 15 yrs. and nothing has never happen, never will. The friendship line has been drawn for years and he respects my husband way too much to cause him any hurt. My other male friends I've been friends with longer than that....The men that are my friends have respect for me, and respect for themselves. They are southern gentlemen and respect, morals, and standards are involved in our friendship. I am IN LOVE with my husband, I love my husband, I RESPECT my husband and he respect me and trust me. My ex cheated on me with my BFF and then married her and now in jail, so I do understand thank you very much. You do not know me. I am an Army brat and honor is something I don't play with. Sincerely, Beth

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