My husband is never home!!!

Elisha - posted on 06/22/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Ive been married for 3 years n have 3 beautiful daughters. Problem is my husband goes pig hunting almost every weekend, if he goes for 1 night hes tired all weekend n hardly helps with the girl Ella is the oldest being 18 months she loves playing n wonders y daddy doesnt want 2 the twins are 4 months so they dont know any different but i feel like a single mum coz i have 2 do all the house work n tend to the girls all week while hes at work n then do it on weekends 2 i think he should be putting us first my question is how do i get him 2 wanna stay at home more!!!!!!

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Chelsea - posted on 11/11/2010

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My husband works nights so he is home during the day but hes either laying on the couch or on the computer and at some point he has to sleep and when he's not doing that he is going hunting i feel like im not a priority anymore he must think ohhh she will be there when i get home... Iv'e tried yelling and and everything else which doesn't work but the point is i just want him to want to be here. he always says im home all day but i dont think he understands i want to spend time together not watch him sit on the couch as i always do. we just came up with an agreement he goes 3 days a week and he has dog training 2 nights a week so i get 2 days of his time i just feel like im competing with his hobbies and i really resent him for it. i need some help!!

Rhionna - posted on 06/28/2009

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My hubby is the same, except he suffers with depression and spends nearly all his spare time in bed! I've tried talking to him,but he just doesn't seem to realise that what he's doing affects me and our kids! My eldest son says to me now that he's tired and wants to go to bed alot because he knows it annoys me, but I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall! I've even ended up going to the Dr for him to up his medication but that hasn't made a difference!
Sorry, rant over!
I hope you can talk to your hubby and get things sorted, it might be that he doesn't really know what to do, how to be a parent if he hasn't been there much! x

Sophrona - posted on 06/22/2009

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i am so sorry to hear that. i know that it is so hard to be the "single parent." my husband is in the military and he is gone a lot too. he was gone for 18 months when we only had 2. now we have 4 and he is training and can't even call hardly ever. when he comes back he will have to turn around and be gone for another 3 1/2 months. many fights over being home-not being home. the only thing i would suggest to you would be to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. i know your youngest ones are only 4 months old, but maybe you guys can go camping or do something as a FAMILY away from everything. our youngest will be one wed. and i am planning a camping trip when my husband gets back. good luck.

Lydia - posted on 06/22/2009

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Talk to him about it. Give him some limits - but be prepared to negotiate them with him. Dont be afraid to let him know that there must be consequences if he cant respect your needs in the long run but dont make any statements that you cant follow through with. It may not take that kind of depth - he may just be oblivious to how his behaviour is affecting the family.

Hailey - posted on 06/22/2009

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my man was the same when our twins were born he loves piggin i think you need to talk to him and let him know that this is how you feel , we often used to tag along too , the girls would fall asleep over the bumps so it was a time to relax as well, you could also make it so he gets 1 weekend for piggin but has to spend the next one at home i found this worked as we both got what we wanted

Melissa - posted on 06/22/2009

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Let him know how you are feeling WITHOUT blaming him or suggesting that he is the reason you are feeling left out. Be honest, but kind. I have found that putting the blame for my feelings of lonliness and seperation on my husband are very counter-productive. Perhaps work out a schedule together that you can both live with. He goes hunting one weekend, you get to go out with "the girls" one weekend and you both stay home the other two...or something like that. Remind him, gently, that you had a life b4 kids too...but when babies come things always change and it is up to both of you to give a little to make the whole "family" thing work. Open, honest communication is the only thing that has kept my marraige together....its something worth practicing.

Emma - posted on 06/22/2009

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my partner was the same, he didnt go hunting but on his weekend he'd go play footy and he ended up with a second job on his days off, we didnt need the money but he wanted to work.. i told him that i needed him here, that he needed to help with our daughter also called Ella (nearly 10months)... they dont seem to realise that we dont get the chance to go out with friends.. tell him how ur feeling, im sure he isnt meaning to do it.

Emma - posted on 06/22/2009

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my partner was the same, he didnt go hunting but on his weekend he'd go play footy and he ended up with a second job on his days off, we didnt need the money but he wanted to work.. i told him that i needed him here, that he needed to help with our daughter also called Ella (nearly 10months)... they dont seem to realise that we dont get the chance to go out with friends.. tell him how ur feeling, im sure he isnt meaning to do it.

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