My husband just told me he has fallen out of love with me.

Kate - posted on 09/28/2009 ( 392 moms have responded )

77

30

5

We will be married for 8 yrs. on the 6th of Oct. and we have been together for 10 back in April. He sat me down last night and poured his heart out telling me that the spark is gone and that he has fallen out of love with me. He doesn't know when,why or how. He said it just happened. We are intimate at least on the adverage once a week, which I thought was pretty good for having two girls 7 and 2. He just initiated it last week while I was trying to make dinner. I just don't know what to do. HELP!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

392 Comments

View replies by

Toni - posted on 10/02/2009

3

9

0

First of all, so sorry to hear this. I want to say that I agree with everyone here that says communication is important. I also agree with seeing about counseling. Marriage is a huge commitment and when kids are involved it is even more important to try and work it out. I have been through divorce and my boys paid the price for it. I would have done things differently if I could go back, but I can't so my advise to him is to REALLY look at why he fell in love with you. What has changed in the past 10 years? Having kids & all the busy stuff in life sometimes gets in the way of the romance. I do not at all agree with the girl who said you can't fall out of love with someone you truly love. I did fall out of love with my first husband, I loved him very much, but never felt like he loved me. We never had any time for ourselves without his friends or the kids or his family. I finally just couldn't do it anymore the love just died because I felt like all I did was give and got nothing in return. I still care very much for him, we were together for 6 yrs and had 2 kids but I fell out of love a long time ago. I would say it happened over time, it didn't just happen at once which is why your husband doesn't know when or how. Talk to him, tell him you would like to try to make things work. Try date nights and romance him, do the things you did when you met, what made you both fall in love to begin with. The girl who said 'Fireproof' is a good movie, is absolutely correct! It was the best movie any couple could watch. You can pick up the 'Love Dare' book at bookstores and WalMart. My husband bought it and we are going to do it. Love and marriage takes work to make it last. Work on it together and put God in the center of your life and you can make it, don't let Satan tear you apart, he is working hard on your husband right now to destroy what God has brought together. Take care and I wish you the best.

Robertine - posted on 10/02/2009

89

35

6

Do you think he's having an affair? I pray not. Your children are so young. I am divorced and was married for over 20 years to my ex. We have three children now all grown. I've been divorced since April of '06. When I hear this term "I fell out of love with", I can't help but wonder if there is someone else. When I married my now ex, reflecting over that relationship made me realize that it was based on lust and not love. I loved him, but I felt like he was a very lustful person and I know that he's a womanizer.

Maybe you and your husband should seek counseling to save your marriage. If he's willing to do that and both do everything within your power to make it work, I believe you'll be okay. Maybe a marriage retreat. Just by reading this I know that you love him very much and want this work.

Nanci - posted on 10/02/2009

1

14

0

Kate, so sorry to hear about your troubles. I've been in your shoes, it's not a good time. I agree with so many of the other women, keep your friends and family close, you'll need their support. Definately talk with your husband and get to the root of the problem. Sounds like you were blind sided by this declaration, take time to figure out what you are feeling before talking with your husband. God bless and good luck! We're here for you!

[deleted account]

Kate, Sorry to hear what your going through. My husband & I went through the same thing... We were married for 18yrs. when I got the shocker that he was no longer in love with me. To make a long story short, My sister recommended a book that saved my marriage. It's called the "Love Dare" Wal-mart has it for about $10. It's pretty neat book, I thought it was better than the couseling session we went to. You only read a few pages a day & than do the dare at the end. Do not read ahead. There's only 1 catch your heart HAS to be in or it won't work. This would be an excellent book for your husband too. It worked for me I pray it works for you. The book also helped a good friend of mine who were border line divorce & they are now doing great. Best of luck.

Michelle - posted on 10/02/2009

3

28

0

well first of all let me start by sayn im sorry that u r going thru wat ur oin thru !!! second dont blame urself or anyone else it happens !!! third try a marriage councelor ,pray to god and see wat happens !!!

Wendy - posted on 10/02/2009

8

6

1

I will be married 20 years this year. We've loved each other, hated each and fell back in love again. Everyone goes through changes and it's just something you have to work through together. Don't forget your vows, "'til death due us part." Too many people give up and that is why the divorce rate is so high. Think of your children. They did not ask for this.

Linda - posted on 10/02/2009

2

7

0

might i add,,,no one is to blame....it takes two to tangle...but in order to make some positive changes, you need to make some changes first in order for the other to follow....someone needs to set the example.....and be the adult in this matter....

Linda - posted on 10/02/2009

2

7

0

well, you can leave him...or get marriage counceling...start out by having date nights to win his love back...you can make him fall back in love with you again....be the person you were before you got married and having babies...its time to take care of "you" also, pamper yourself, reward yourself,,,,,you deserve it!! I could say more, but i dont know much about you...start walking or going to a gym if you need to loose weight or just to build your self confidence back in gaining back who you are....become an interesting person to want to get to know again...take up a new hobbie....this may all sound like a lot of work but a marriage is like a job and you have to work at it to make it work...they say once you make it to the 10 yr mark you got it made....after being with someone for that long amount of time, you take each other for granted and you dont appreciate each other .....you get comfortable....well time to get out of that comfort zone and do something about it....you may discover a new you!!! good luck and god bless

Shahida - posted on 10/02/2009

1

19

0

Wow...that is a very hard pill to swallow....i would first...pray about it....ask God to give u the strength you are gonna need for however it may turn out...then sit with your husband & see if there is something that can be done to salvage your marriage....it may be something missing that hasn't happended for you guys in a long time...whatever it may be....i pray that your marriage will strengthen and survive this...I am not married...but i have parents that have been married for over 41 years...and they have had some "falling out of love times"...and they are still together....so with that being said...i truly wish u the very best from here on out....Be Blessed..............

Brenda - posted on 10/02/2009

14

6

0

Is he having any problems at work,or maybe he's over whelmed by the responsiblies of a family. Or maybe you both need time for yourselves, like a date nite.

Zena - posted on 10/02/2009

4

26

0

im very sorry you are going through this but while reading the first thing that came to mind was how great it was he sat you down and talked to you about it,he could have just carried on feeling like this and started playing around behind you with you not even knowing there was a problem,he must have alot of respect for you to do that with men not being that great talking about their feelings.have you sat him down and asked if he feels your marrage is wirth fighting for.people change over time and what he's feeling happens to alot of both men and woman,ask if trying to re date ect will help,starting up that spark might remind him what he feel for in the first place.i know after 10yrs of being with my husband and being busy running a house hold of 5 children,a smile and sexing up a little is far from my mind,my husband has told me he walks into the house with me ranting and raving at one of the children and stressed ect,not a sexy look he's looking for so have to remember this now and again when he walks in.everything takes alittle bit of work...good luck and i as well as everyone else on here will be thinking of you.

Jesusita - posted on 10/02/2009

2

16

0

wow im gonna do this...but latley ive been pissed at his actions...ive lost some crap over him....but i will do.....

Christie - posted on 10/02/2009

1

4

0

This may sound harsh but you need to 1st, put him first, even ahead of your kids. 2nd, serve him. 3rd, have sex or be intimate more than once a week. Love is not a feeling, it's a choice. The more you serve, the more he will see why he married you in the first place. Leave him notes, show him you care and hopefully he will reciprocate. Don't act needy or show that you feel bad. Be the person he fell in love with and hopefully he will see what he has forgotten.

Jesusita - posted on 10/02/2009

2

16

0

Quoting Kate:

My husband just told me he has fallen out of love with me.

We will be married for 8 yrs. on the 6th of Oct. and we have been together for 10 back in April. He sat me down last night and poured his heart out telling me that the spark is gone and that he has fallen out of love with me. He doesn't know when,why or how. He said it just happened. We are intimate at least on the adverage once a week, which I thought was pretty good for having two girls 7 and 2. He just initiated it last week while I was trying to make dinner. I just don't know what to do. HELP!



hi kate....ok let me start by askin is there things that you can do to change his mind...like roll playing things.....doing things different in bed...out of bed....is there anything at all....if yall talk that is good....let him tell you what it is...and maybe you can do what he asks but dont let it put you down.....we as women have to be strong in times like this....we also have our children to think about which makes it all difficult to deal with by ourselfs....and it doesnt help when they flip and say stuff like that....i know its heartache to feel that way.....yes its hard but like i said were married to these men that really arent sure what they want anymore.....the years play apart of it....but hey we are still us....we have to keep our selfves sane.....not sure if i helped you any but maybe alittle....i wish someone would shake some sence in my husband......

Michele - posted on 10/02/2009

4

3

0

Kate, I am so sorry that you are going through that. I agree with some of the comments made by others such as open communication is very important. You need to find out what he really wants or is expecting from your relationship. Is there someone else? that's a hard thing to have to swallow but as someone else said "you don't just fall out of love with someone you really truely loved to begin with." If he wants a divorce, then really nothing else to do. If he wants to work it out, seek counceling. But what ever you do, as hard as it may be, don't let it affect your self esteem. it is not your problem, it is his. Been through it, and i made it through it a stronger person.

Doris - posted on 10/02/2009

3

2

0

Quoting Kate:

My husband just told me he has fallen out of love with me.

We will be married for 8 yrs. on the 6th of Oct. and we have been together for 10 back in April. He sat me down last night and poured his heart out telling me that the spark is gone and that he has fallen out of love with me. He doesn't know when,why or how. He said it just happened. We are intimate at least on the adverage once a week, which I thought was pretty good for having two girls 7 and 2. He just initiated it last week while I was trying to make dinner. I just don't know what to do. HELP!


 

Calendra - posted on 10/02/2009

1

4

0

I am sorry to hear this. I can imagine how you felt. My personal suggestion to you is to find something/think of something that can re-light the flame. You are smart, and you know what your husband likes, just by knowing him for 10 years. Think of what he wants, and think of what you are willing to sacrifice to give it to him. Think of what he mentioned to you and if you feel the same. Tell him how he makes you feel. Also, try not to mention the burden of children. Your relationship can still be full of excitement with children invovled. Try to focus on just you two. I wish you the best of luck. Remember this is your family we are talking about. Not just a relationship.

Latrice - posted on 10/02/2009

24

14

0

My husband's best friend told his ex wife the same thing. They tried to stay together for the kids but they grew to hate each other. The divorce was very nasty. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. You guys need to sit down and talk openly and honestly and make an informed decision that way. If he's willing to try and rekindle that love then you should probably see a counselor. If he doesn't think that it will work then that's a fact that you need to accept. I know it's easier said than done but it would make the transition easier on all of you. Good luck.

[deleted account]

Dear Kate,

You are at a time in marriage that traditionally becomes the blahs. The important thing to do quickly is to involve some counseling for both of you. It's not a time to argue about it, but a time to list the realities of life on a piece of paper at the kitchen table. Love is not a feeling... how many times have you heard that? It can be. Have you heard of the "Love Dare" book and the Fireproof movie? We had the blahs going and watched the movie. My husband secretly did it with a group of men. Although I had a clue he was doing it, it really changed my heart. The steady flow of appreciation that is shown by the recommendations in the book are helpful. I'd try that AND the counselling. The key is to NOT let him know what you are doing. It will change YOU forever as well. My husband is leading another group through it now. I can't recommend this highly enough. A marriage is a gift from God and divorce is one of the most miserable life-altering, shattering experiences you can ever have. There are reasons it exists, but falling out of love need not be one of them.



With God all things are possible.

Tree - posted on 10/02/2009

5

1

0

Well, I seem to be in the same boat as you. On Sept. 7th after 23 years and 3 months to the day, i was told the same thing. I questioned myself, however and have since learned I was not the problem. My husband had to do some soul searching. We have since gone to family/marital counseling. We are also reading "Love is a choice; Recovery for codependent relationships" by Dr.s Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, Paul Meier. If you cannot imagine your life without him, do what you must to repair the relationship. If you feel better off without him...so what you must to become a stronger person without him. I wish you the best...

Jen - posted on 10/02/2009

3

16

1

I am reading some of these posts and I am amazed at how you all are laying the blame at her feet. He is the one with the problem why should she do anything different then she already is. He fell in love with who she is and now you think she needs to go to counseling to fix it. I think that's crazy. I say keep doing what you're doing and if he doesn't like it let him leave. His loss. And why should you wait around for him to figure that out. Do you really want him to settle? How would that make you feel? Knowing he is with you because he couldn't do better. If it were me I would want someone to want me. And if he doesn't go out and find someone who does. Life is to short trying to make one man want you ecspecially when there are millions out there.

Katrina - posted on 10/02/2009

2

1

0

i recently read a book you can buy at no greater joy ministries. http://shop.nogreaterjoy.org/product_inf...

i don't know if you are a christian or not, but even if you are not you can't deny the Bible is a best seller for a reason- it has all the advice we need to make it through this life and tells us a thing or two about the God who made us, about the God who made marriage in the first place. do you know that marriage is actually like a picture of God and all those who believe in Him. He calls believers "His bride". we as wives are supposed to be to our husbands like believers are to God- in love, in awe, and in submission- don't get thrown off by love and submission they mean very different things in the Bible than they do when we use them in everyday language. love in the Bible is defined as doing what is best for the other person to the point of personal sacrifice. are you loving him in this way? maybe if he sees you love him this way, it will encourage him to love you in the same way. i've been in both kinds of "love relationships" and i promise having a husband who loves like Jesus says to and did (He died on the cross, he sacrificed for ourown good) is far better than a boyfriend who wants to have sex with me cuz he "loves" me. and submission is a form of respect. we hear all the time that men want respect, but the first person to say that was God. start respecting your husband in obvious ways- he'll see it and you will build up his self image, which will cause him to see you in a new light. you need to fight for your man, but not with manipulation, with love and submission. do it God's way and watch it flourish. i also agree with many other posts that say to go to counseling- do that- but try to find someone that councels with the Bible. a regular counselor will not address love and submission or even soem of the sins that may be in your amrriage, instead you will find yourselves with blame hooks all over each other and marriage tricks that just don't work. a psychologist did not invent marriage so he can't tell you how to fix it. god did and the fixes for your marriage are in the Bible. a "neuthetic counselor" can help you find those fixes in the Bible. i will be praying for you.

Bonita - posted on 10/02/2009

40

19

5

I am so sorry to hear that. Call your mom, or MY mom. Make an appt for counseling. Tell him you are not ready to throw it away.

Be strong. Love yourself.

bonita

User - posted on 10/02/2009

1

1

0

I am so sorry about it!!

Just talk about it with him.

Try and remember the good old times of how u met and start all over, taking each day at a time.

The spark can be rekindled it just takes some little effort from both of you.

Lynne - posted on 10/02/2009

1

8

0

I am so sorry. That is incredibly hard so close to the anniversary of the most special day of your life. Something that I came across was an Imago workshop. Its a healing process that you will both need to go through. If he's willing, get the book "Getting the Love You Want" and if you're interested look into the workshop. Best of luck. I'll be thinking of you!

PS Make sure the support group you have is pro-marriage. People who have been through a bitter divorce are the worst to have around right now. Good luck!

Kelly - posted on 10/02/2009

5

16

0

Everything well work out been there myself and we are still togeather and it is getting better every day.just let him know u and the kids love him very much and would be lost with out him Good luck

Cheryl - posted on 10/02/2009

2

7

0

I was the person saying that to my husband (back then) 20 years ago, because i was having an affair and wanted out but didn't want to tell him it was because of other men. i felt so neglected at the time, he was always busy working, no time for us. i was busy raising the two small children. if we had decided to see counceling and get a babysitter more often, put some romance back into the marriage, i could see still being

married to him today.. you need to get out with him, nooo kids, go for a tim hortons coffee, take it to a beach, park etc. and learn to know each other, do it lots. my new husband of (10 years ) and i go regularly for walks etc. away from kids, and you will find it is a good way to talk, hold hands etc. it works to keep a marriage on track. good luck.

Monica - posted on 10/02/2009

5

11

0

I agree with some of the other comments - counseling for sure; and also to watch the movie "Fireproof" and have him watch it to, and to do the challenge with it. There is also a book called "Love is a Decision" (I can't remember the author, but it is Christian). That would probably also be a good place to start. Oftentimes people don't feel the emotion of love that they felt at the beginning of their relationship. People have to decide to love their mates and they have to work at rekindling their relationship. They have to go back to how they felt before and remember the things that caused them to love each other in the first place. I'll say a prayer for your family and hopefully God will be allowed to work a miracle in your lives.

Amanda - posted on 10/02/2009

1

14

0

Well first of all I'd have to ask him, what he plans on doing about it? That's not really in your hands. He has to want to work on falling in love with you again. Do you still love him? Do you still have that spark for him? Or has things kinda fallen to the way side with work, family and social responsibilities? You will find you fall in and out of love a hundred times with him. And he will find that with you too. The part that keeps you together is wanting it.

Brook - posted on 10/02/2009

2

1

0

Tell him you made a commitment to God and this family to uphold his end of the deal. The "sparks" are an immature love. Real love is when you stick it out in tough times. I hope he grows up and realizes that the world doesn't revolve around him anymore.

Genalyn - posted on 10/02/2009

1

8

0

Love is more than sex and emotions...It's more of a COMMITMENT...otherwise no relationship would last...

Martina - posted on 10/02/2009

10

2

1

I'm sorry to hear this and it must be an awful hard time in your life right no.Maybe if you take a few days each to yourself and think long and hard what you both want, maybe your husband told you how he felt in the hope that ye can work on this together. I know having children can put a strain on a relationship but perhaps ye could spend a bit of time together just the two of you and see if you can re-kindle the basis of your relationship if this is what you both want. And if however you decide that to go your separate ways, something that hard to do but theres no point in staying in a relationship like this, as ye will grow to resent each other and ye're children will pick up on this. Whatever happens I wish you the best of luck chick and hope that everything works out for the best.

Debora - posted on 10/02/2009

206

27

15

I GOT THIS FROM A RECIPE BOOK GIVEN TO ME WHEN I GOT MARRIED 13 YRS.AGO .

"HOW TO PRESERVE A HUSBAND"

BE CAREFUL IN YOUR SELECTION. DO NOT CHOOSE TO YOUNG,AND TAKE ONLY SUCH VARIETIES AS HAVE BEEN REARED IN A GOOD MORAL ATMOSPHERE.WHEN ONCE DECIDED UPON AND SELECTED,LET THAT PART REMAIN FOREVER SETTLED AND GIVE YOUR ENTIRE THOUGHT TO PREPARATION AND DOMESTICATING .

SOME INSIST ON KEEPING THEM IN A PICKLE WHILE OTHERS CONSTANTLY GETTING INTO HOT WATER.

EVEN THE POOR VARIETIES MAY BE SWEETENED WITH PATIENCE,SMILES,FLAVORED WITH WARM KISSES.THE WRAP WELL IN A MANTLE OF CHARITY.KEEP WARM WITH STEADY FIRES OF DOMESTIC DEVOTION, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SERVE WITH PEACHES AND CREAM.

WHEN PREPARED IN THIS MANNER THEY WILL LAST FOR YEARS. JUANITA AND EVART JENKINS

Annmarie - posted on 10/02/2009

1

26

0

Babe I know how you feel. I had been with my ex husband for 11 years and married 2. He chaeted on mewith a work mate of his and he see's that he has done nothing wrong and that i pushed him into her arms. We have been split up for 6mth now and peeps areright when you get married the saprks do go. I still love my ex with all my heart but i have got to move on. In time you will find Mr Right, I am still looking lol but it takes time.

Be strong, keep your chin up

Debora - posted on 10/02/2009

206

27

15

JUST TRY TO KEEP LOVING HIM AND KEEP COMMUNICATION OPEN ,MAYBE THE TWO OF YOU NEED SOME TIME TO JUST THE 2 OF YOU.YOU COULD GO TO A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR TO TALK YOUR FEELINGS OUT WITH THEM SINCE THEY WOULD BE IMPARSHAL OR ASK A PASTOR FOR HELP.

I WILL BE PRAYING THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU BOTH SINCE KIDS NEED YOU TO BE STRONG .HOPE HE`S NOT SEEING SOMEONE ELSE SAY A CO-WORKER.

Deanna - posted on 10/02/2009

1

20

0

I am so sorry to here that. At least he told you and did not start cheating on you and not respecting you. I do not know why men fall out of love, you will make it through this, I know it does not feel like that now but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Karron - posted on 10/02/2009

1

10

0

u should ask him y been 2gether 2 long. was he seeing some one else seeing ? but dont worry about him its his lost. look at me got 9 kids and i have not got there father around and found some one that cares 4 me now their is penty of fish in the sea. that will care 4 u better .

Debbiejehane - posted on 10/02/2009

1

49

0

i no it's not easy to here i mean no wants to here that there partner fallen out of love with them,maybe for him the romance n fun have gone some time many of us after haveing kids forget about are partners thinging sex will just keep them happy but thats not everyth they need all man are like kids in some way n need to feel you need them i thing the best way is to sit down talk about were it's all gone wrong maybe even have nana n grandad take care of kids while you work things out maybe go away together to get to no each other again i no ever1 always say go talk to some doc about your marrage,, who lets face it dosent no a thing about you and your man becuse the only one who no's you is you so!!!!! keep smiling hun what ever happens happens but in the end you will no you never gave up and as long as you got your family n girls you will be ok even if it dosent feel like it at the moment take care hun and good luk hope it works out for you xoxo

Cammy - posted on 10/01/2009

2

27

0

He's having an affair. You don't just fall out of love and not know why or how. That would be my gut reaction anyway. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt for a minute though and pretend we believe him. The only thing you can do at this point is go back and try to remember how it was when you were first giddy for each other and GET IT BACK!!! In the meantime it wouldn't hurt to check his cell phone and/or email and see what he's been up to? Is all his time accounted for, etc.

Christine - posted on 10/01/2009

312

39

29

well< i wonder who ever told him that the "spark" was always going to be there. marriages have their ups and downs. that "falling in love" feeling we get when we are dating is not real love, it is more of an infatuation-----it has to be that way because if people knew how tough marriage really was, they'd never get married without that "falling in love infatuation". real love comes from sticking it out through thick and thin and from trying to find the best in each other---even where there doesn't seem like there is much there to find. these are the times when you try to look for the positives---even if you have to look hard.



i read a story about a couple that was celebrating their 50th annniversary, and someone came up to them and wanted to know about their romance, or something of that sort. the couple responded that they had been set up by a match maker. i assume they didn't marry because they had fallen in love. they married, and then stayed that way because they grew to love each other.



my husband and i are in counseling right now---for the second or third time in almost 22 years of marriage. the first time, was early on---we were a blended family, i guess it was more family counseling. the second time was about 3 1/2 years ago--and it didn't help us because my husband didn't want to be there---i can remember him yelling at me all the way home after one session!!



this time, he was willing to go, and we have a better counselor. we have only been to two sessions so far---but we fill out a questionaire every time we go. one question asks if you are ever sorry that you got married. i notice that my husband marks his no---i mark mine "sometimes"---but i wouldn't leave him. we've been through hell together over the years---and i plan on being in heaven together one day, too.

good luck, keep praying, hopefully he will go into counseling with you, and hopefully he will realize that people have to fall in love over and over again in their marriages.

Nicole - posted on 10/01/2009

3

16

0

you need to know, that if that is how he feels, it will hurt for a while. But you are young and you need to move on their are other fish in the sea. You can move on and you will come across the right guy some time, some how. I truly beleive this.

Heather - posted on 10/01/2009

6

15

0

I don't know if you have gotten this reply or not but I saw you asked if there was a Love Dare book, Yes there is, and in my opinion it would be a great idea for you two. I also noticed that you were two were going to see your pastor. That is where to start, GOD is bigger than it all, and he can help the two of you through this rough time. And I believe that God must already be working on it if he came to you and talked to you, and is now going to the pastor with you. That seems to me like he wants to figure out how to fix it too. Just hold on to Jesus, Try praying out loud together in the Am if you are not already. I know sometimes that can help the bond in a marriage. I pray that this trail is over soon, May God bless you and your family and bring you a peace that passes all understanding. He is with you, just remember to give it to him daily.

User - posted on 10/01/2009

1

0

0

A good marriage counselor can help both of you express yourselves. This facilitated conversation can help you both figure out what you are really feeling, how to say it kindly and then the two of you (not the counselor) can decide what is right for you. I wish you the very best. I am sure you are a strong women - you can do this - whatever "this" is!

Rachel - posted on 10/01/2009

50

37

1

We get so caught up on the notion of love that we see in the movies and read in novels. There are all kinds of different love and I think he is moving from a romantic love to a consummate love which feels less intense. When people move into to this phase they feel bored and they think something must be wrong. Perhaps you could go for counseling? This is a good time to practice that "For better or for worse until death due us part" verse. Good luck.

Rachel - posted on 10/01/2009

50

37

1

We get so caught up on the notion of love that we see in the movies and read in novels. There are all kinds of different love and I think he is moving from a romantic love to a consummate love which feels less intense. When people move into to this phase they feel bored and they think something must be wrong. Perhaps you could go for counseling? This is a good time to practice that "For better or for worse until death due us part" verse. Good luck.

[deleted account]

Sorry to hear about the situation you are going through. This is more common than you may think or want to believe. The problem is with him, not you. You are still the same woman he fell in love with 10 years ago, he has changed. As hard as it will be, you have to let him go (if he is sure this is what he wants). He needs to fill that void and hopefully he'll realize you are the only one who can do it. God Bless you and may He give you peace during your time of need.

[deleted account]

I dont want you to think the same thing is happening in your marriage but my father sat my mother down after 32 yrs of marriage and 3 kids and told her that he had fallen out of love with her, it was the easy way of getting out of their marriage, my mum found out two days later that he had moved in with his mistress. it has been 4 yrs since this happened and he is now remarried and my mum has found a lovely new partner who treats her great. Good luck with this and i hope you can work it out or find out the truth.

Shelly - posted on 10/01/2009

1

0

0

Well if you want to save your marriage take a weekend away together and find that thing that made you guys fall in love the first time. You need to find what it is you love about each other not the bad things. If you are able to rekindle things make time for each ohter often.

  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4
  5. 5
  6. 6
  7. ...
  8. 8

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms