my mother and her religion

Rachel - posted on 09/30/2010

I heard my grandfather telling my son once that "God created the beautiful fields." it really irked me too, but I let it slide, that time. My five year old recently asked me "Where did the first person come from?" I told him "It's a mystery. No one really knows. What do you think?" Then I told him "Some people believe this, some people believe that..." I tried to leave it wide open so he could make up his own mind. I personally believe in evolution, and don't believe in organized religion. I don't know what I think about "god". I want to be able to answer his questions, but at the same time, I don't want to push my beliefs on him. For now, that has satisfied his curiosity. I would not allow him to go to church at this age because I know that he will believe anything that an adult tells him. I don't want anyone telling him what he should think. I'd prefer that he decides for himself.

JuLeah - posted on 09/30/2010

How about talking with them later and explaining that is her opinion, we respect all opinions, and you value science. Then explain evolution. Many church leaders believe in evloution, but they believe God started the process. There is room for all opinions and even though we call evloution science, it does not mean it is 'right' - We change our minds again and again as new information comes to light. So, even when I speak with my daughter about evolution, I don't tell her it is 'fact' and 100% correct - it is largly our opinion based on infomation we have at this time

Ava - posted on 09/30/2010

Valerie, with all due respect, you know nothing about evolution. A theory is as good as a fact in science; the scientific definition for theory and the casual one are entirely different, so don't start spewing lies at people. Evolution is taught in schools because it is generally accepted as fact, albeit a not fully understood fact; even the Catholic church accepts evolution, but with religious intervention. I wouldn't explain both to them, myself. I would explain the facts of evolution and then tell your mother not to interject her opinion onto your child. You can explain to your child yourself that some people believe God created the world, but that there is no evidence for that whatsoever.

Danielle - posted on 03/20/2010

I think I'd ask my mother not to push her beliefs on my son...and I think I'd let my child know what I believed and then I'd let him know what his grandmother believed and from there let him decide what he wanted to believe for himself.

Diane - posted on 03/20/2010

Like Valerie said, scientists have not come close to answering how the universe started. What was the first cause? You could explain that you and your mother have different opinions, but you can't tell your child is that your mother is totally wrong.....because there simply is no proof.

I would most certainly allow your mother to express her beliefs to your children. Why? To give them the entire picture.
Someone talked about Christians indoctrinating children. I might add that our entire public school system indoctrinates children against religion especially the Christian one. Our schools have become humanistic secular institutions where the theory of evolution is taught. There are books that still have Ernest Haeckels fraudulent theories and pictures in them. The playing field is not level because the people who seem to be calling the shots are humanists. Speech and press are guaranteed to students and teachers-unless the topic is religious in nature.
The fact is that evolution can't be proven so it too is a belief born of faith, the same as someone who has a belief in God. Every scientist has a bias in everything that he/she does. If they didn’t have faith even if its only in themselves……they could do nothing.

Talk this over kindly with your mother and let her know how you feel.

Diane - posted on 03/20/2010

No one can provide proof that God did not create the universe.

Like Valerie said, scientists have not come close to answering how the universe started. What was the first cause? You could explain that you and your mother have different opinions, but you can't tell your child that your mother is totally wrong.....because there simply is no proof.

I would most certainly allow your mother to express her beliefs to your children. Why? To give them the entire picture.
Someone talked about Christians indoctrinating children. I might add that our entire public school system indoctrinates children against religion especially the Christian one. Our schools have become humanistic secular institutions where the theory of evolution is taught. There are books that still have Ernest Haeckels fraudulent theories and pictures in them. This is unfair and the playing fields are not level because the people in positions of power are humanists and they force their theology. And so it seems that speech and press are guaranteed to students and teachers-unless the topic is religious.
The fact is that evolution can't be proven so it too is a belief born of faith, the same as someone who has a belief in God. Every scientist has a bias in everything that he does. If he didn’t have faith even if its only in himself……he could do nothing.

Talk this over kindly with your mother and let her know how you feel. But please be open minded enough to allow your child to make up his own mind when he is ready.

Kathy - posted on 03/13/2010

Well Kati I am also atheist. This is something that I run into alot. I have always explained to my children that no one really knows how the earth was made. Evolution is a theory so really isn't fact. So I have told them there is two beleifs. Some people beleive a god created Earth and all life. Then there are those people that beleive in evolution and that is what is taught in school. Then I explain evolution. My children always ask me what I beleive. I am honest. I tell them that I beleive in evolution but like scientist, I don't know how life actually began. And that I am happy not to know. I also tell them I beleive that a god could have started it all but evolution kept life going. It isn't for me know. It is up to them to decide what they want to beleive. This is personally how I have decided to raise my children. They both are been allowed to go different churches. My daughter is 14 and goes to a baptist church. She has a nice balance of christian beleifs. My son is 7 and has to awanas there and to another church. He beleives in a god and in heaven. He has beleifs that help explain things in his 7yr old world. They both know I don't beleive in any god. They also know that I respect those that do. Good luck fidning a balance as an atheist in world where there are so few.

Sandra - posted on 03/12/2010

I have made my own decision to be an atheist. I will teach my daughter about many different religions. I will tell her that some people believe this...and some people believe that. No one is wrong, and no one is right. I will also teach her about evolution.


I grew up half Jewish and half Catholic...so I was brought up knowing both religions.

I think you need to sit down with your daughter and explain to her that there are MANY different religions, and grandma believes this ... she is not wrong in believing this, and she is not right either. Then have your mother teach your daughter about her religion. While you teach her about evolution.

You and I were both brought up WITH religion, and decided on our own what we want to believe... Allow your daughter to choose what she believe...and she can choose on her own a lot easier if she is taught about different religions.

LaCi - posted on 03/12/2010

I think theres always a risk of the extremely religious people in our children's lives attempting (intentionally or unintentionally) to indoctrinate them because it's what they believe and they believe they should know it. I've forbidden anyone from taking my son to church because I don't want him surrounded by a thousand people who believe one specific thing and think thats how the world is. While I can't stop them from talking about what they believe around my son, I will try to do everything I can to raise him to know that a LOT of people believe a LOT of different things, and he should believe in what he chooses to believe in, not whatever grandma believes in. His fathers mother has yet to find out we're atheists, and she's a very devout christian, I'm sure when she does all hell will break loose :) and I'm sure theres no way I'll be able to prevent my son from repeating all those blasphemous things I say a few years down the road.

Jhoni - posted on 03/12/2010

I think you should explain both to your children and also explain that people have different beliefs. I would also like to add that if one of your children become ill or seriously injured you may just find yourself praying to the God you do not believe in. So, do not pass your feelings on to your child, only the facts. Good luck...

Nancy - posted on 03/12/2010

I assume you hope your child matures into someone who can make his own decisions at some point, so he will have to hear both sides of the argument. Let your mother present her side and you do the same. When he reaches his decision, both of you need to respect that decison. I personally believe in God, but He is fair and allows us to think for ourselves.

Lucy - posted on 03/12/2010

Obviously, you want to teach your kids what you believe to be true about the origins of man, and I say carry on! But you have a great opportunity here to also teach them that the world is full of variety and diversity, and people look at the world differently depending on their own experience and cultural environment.

You definitely need a chat with your mum, but there is no need to stop her sharing her thoughts with your kids. You just need to make it clear that you want her to tell them these things are what SHE believes, not just present them as solid facts.

We have faced similar situations with our children because we are pagan and most of our friends and their kids are either christian or not religious. When it comes to christian festivals such as christmas, easter etc, most of them are based at times that correspond with pagan festivals. For example, christmas and the winter solstice coincide, and share many of the same customs. Of course, we teach our children about the solstice and our beliefs, but we have no problems with them learning about a different religious perspective and they get to go to the christmas parties with all the other kids.

You may be surprised how easily children accept peoples differences and different beliefs. It is usually just us grown ups that get set in our ways and are not prepared to entertain other people's opinions!

Firebird - posted on 03/12/2010

Honestly, I see no harm in letting him learn both. I don't believe in gods and devils but I'm a sucker for everything mythological and I do a brief bible study with JWs every week. I find it fascinating to learn about other people's beliefs! There is no ultimate proof of the theory of evolution, just like there is no proof that there is a god. Your son is going to hear it all anyways, just make sure that he knows it's his choice on what to believe.

Jocelyn - posted on 03/11/2010

And @ Valerie: The argument that evolution is just a theory is based on the common misconception about the technical meaning of "theory" that is used by scientists. In general laymen's, "theory" often refers to conjectures, hypotheses, and unproven assumptions. But, in science, "theory" usually means "a plausible or scientifically acceptable general principle or body of principles offered to explain phenomena"
And I found a quote that I think totally sums it up: paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould wrote:
Evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts do not go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's, but apples did not suspend themselves in mid-air, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape-like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered.

Jocelyn - posted on 03/11/2010

I agree with Katherine; I wouldn't say anything to her for now, but if it comes up again you should tell your mother that you are going to teach him about evolution. Since your family seems to be very religious, I see no problem in him learning about creationism as well.
He can take from it what he likes; if he believes it or not is up to him. I am a...(how can I explain myself lol) a former christian turned pagan, who is studying zen buddhism, and who currently believes in theistic evolution. There are many different levels of both creationism and evolution, and it won't hurt your son to know about them. Plus it would probably make your mom happy lol.

Rosie - posted on 03/11/2010

thanks diana i never thought about explaining both to him, duh!! i am afraid to tell my mother i've lost faith, i know she wouldn't get mad at me, she would just be dissapointed, which is almost worse for me.

Katherine - posted on 03/11/2010

I say, let it go this time. If it comes up again then jump in. It is very confusing for kids to grasp there are two different beliefs of how we came to be.

Diana - posted on 03/11/2010

It may be time to explain to your child that you and your mother believe different things to be true (she believes creation as a fact, you believe evolution as a fact). This is not all that uncommon of an experience as you think, and is something children can understand. Essentially you are teaching critical thinking this way.



I would venture to guess that these differences in beliefs are going to come up again, so a heart to heart with your mother about how you would like it handled may be a good idea too - although this is no guarantee that she will indeed respect what you ask of her if her beliefs are strong enough (purely from observing a couple of friends and their mothers...)



Good luck :)



PS I am a Christian, creation-believing biochemist - but that has no real bearing on your question anyway ;)

Valerie - posted on 03/11/2010

O.K., here's the facts! The theory of evolution was thought up by Charles Darwin! It was only a theory of one man, never proven even to this day. Even Darwin had second thoughts about it before he died. For years scientists have been trying to find the "Missing link", but it's still missing. No one has ever been able to prove the "theory of evolution". I personally would rather my children were not taught something that has never been proven to be true. You say you are convinced that there is no God! Why not let your child decide for himself, whether God exists or not!