My son 15 has a bad attitude only child and spoiled. Iam in trouble.....

Kristi - posted on 04/26/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

1

12

0

dont do nothing no chores when asked he laughts at me I own a salon and need help around house also he is calling me at work at 4 to come home and cook him dinner he acts like my first husband . Iam afraid hes gonna be just like him abusive......Hes a A student so he thinks he dont have to do anything , cause that pleases me ....gee wiz no matter what I do I always give in....

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

7 Comments

View replies by

Jacquetta - posted on 04/26/2009

34

8

1

Let me just ask you this when he was a small child did you let him have his way all of the time and give him all that he asked for and talk to you as he felt he could. I spoiled my daughters dearly but they both knew when to back up and stay in a childs place. My daughters are 22 and 15 and when I tell them to clean their rooms bathrooms and sweep their landing or what ever the case maybe, it is done before I get home. I didn't spare the rod either and that is how I was raised (southern style) It wasn't abuse either a little tap on the bottom got them to know that mommy meant business and talking back was not accepted. I always told them that I was the mother and they were the children and they needed to stay in a kids place. I hope that you are not afraid of your son Kristi because being afraid of him makes matters worse.

Anne - posted on 04/26/2009

35

8

2

I know how it feels when they are your only emotional connection. I have 7 kids. 2 are bio mine. I did the same to my son and daughter out of guilt. emoitional needs on my part. But when I met my husband I learned what am I doing? I am crippeling my children for life! If I don't teach them who will? The landlord who doesn't get paid the rent (and they get kicked out?) The boss who has to fire them because they refuse to do the job that is expected of them? To much of this generation run under the theroy that because they exist they are intitled!!!!! I had to buck up and love my children enough to say NO!!! It is a softer learning when it is in your home under your loving teaching then the hard cruel world that doesn't give a damn about your son's upbrining, father not there, only child whatever excuse we mom's come up with. I want my children to be taught with my love not disregard. So sometimes tough love is loving them to infinity. You can do it, or else turn out another young adult not ready to live in the real world.

Catherine - posted on 04/26/2009

3

22

0

OK without sounding 2 much like my Mum......get counselling!!!.. B strong..... Do not blame yourself we are only human and do what we think is the best at the time. no one would consciously do anything to harm there kids and we all want our kids to grow up to be fine young adults. It is not easy being a single parent as U have to b e the goody and the bady. Hang in there. It is so hard not to give in I know......get some help and it will all work out I am sure. I am probably no the one to give advise as I have an only son also but I try to give him responsibility such as do the washing and stuff like that so when he is out on his own I know he will survive. Let him know U love him and that he needs to take responsibility 4 his own good. I wish U all the best.

Danielle - posted on 04/26/2009

10

5

0

I would take all his favorite things from him when he acts like that and make him earn them back. And I def would not give into his demands you are just going to have to remind him that you are the parent and he is the child. I know its hard but tough love will probly work the best right now. just make sure that when he does start listening to you and does what you ask then you praise him to balance the tough love out. just stay strong you will make it.

Krisanne - posted on 04/26/2009

33

44

4

HI kristi i am very sorry but you giving in your sons demands is the worst thing you can do he is 15 and he is very capable on doing things by himself to help you. You have to be strong you have to put your foot down and say HELP sit down with him and make him see what his doing to you is wrong.I f this doesn't work then the other option would be taking something he really likes of him for a couple of days or grounding him.i know this would be very difficult to do but he needs to know who is boss he cannot treat you like this you need respect and by doing this i think he would react differently you will see.Remeber you have to do this now don't let it go by or it will become worse.I am not an only child but from experiance with my brother i know what it feels like.Until my mum put her foot down.be strong whatever you do don't give in.

Anita - posted on 04/26/2009

349

40

37

I'm sorry to say but u sound like the daughter and he's the father. I dont have teenage children but i've spent most of my teenage years looking after my two baby bros who are now 20yrs and 14yrs old. As far as im concerned if i had to give up my social life to wipe their bums, feed them and bath them then im entitled to a certain respect...I've always put my fooot down on certain things....My younger brothers always come to me for advice and help and see me more as a mum than my mother is....I've taught them to earn what they want be it respect from others or material goods..i've taught them to see money as important and save...I've always been independant and taught my brothers to rely on themselves but when u in need of help from others dont be scared to ask...



Not sure how its really like with your 15yr old but its really hard to put rules in place and try to "teach" them to be respectful of u...firstly U NEED to have respect and self love and show that to ur 15yr old and u need to tell him that your the mother..the bread winner and the adult of the house and he is the child...he could be 35yrs old and he will still be ur child....secondly if he wants something he needs to earn it either by doing chores around the house or go and get some casual work...3rdly u need to start teaching him to look after himself by being self sufficient...teach him how to cook...have him do it with you so that he can cook his own meal so that u can continue making money to look after his future needs ie education (if he feels that his education is important)...sorry but i had to look after myself and my brothers and still go to school when my parents were working..theres really no excuse for a 15 yr old not being able to look after himself while mum is at work...not sure really what else to say...i know i've been pretty blunt...not sure how to help without background infos on ur family life..

Kim - posted on 04/26/2009

1

1

1

Hi Kristi, sounds like you have your hands full..not sure I have any advise, but I would suggest that you stop giving in to your sons demands..he knows you'll give in and that is why he keeps pushing. He is 15 years old and will be out on his one soon..he needs to know how to do things for himself. I have a 12 year old son that is an only child as well...so I understand wanting to do everything for them..but we can't keep doing everything for them. If my son can take care of housework and fixing himself something to eat at 12, then yours can do it at 15...perhaps you could suggest that he fix dinner for the both of you can really praise him about how good it is! I don't know...it's worth a try..just don't give up!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms