My son freaks out everytime I leave him with the sitter. What can I do to calm him down?

Tanya - posted on 01/25/2010

This is normal, they miss you there is nothing wrong with that. You have to keep routine give your kiss and hug and say see ya later and you have to be strong and just leave when you go and turn around to come back it makes it harder. And don't worry after a few minutes your gone he is more then likely ok and has a good time all mine did this, it'll pass in a few weeks after he learns you do come back for him.. I have heard the give them something of yours thing too - I didn't try it but it sounds like a good idea..Good Luck

Kelli - posted on 01/25/2010

I can feel your pain. My son was the same way when he was younger. It's that tough love you hear about. To hug him, kiss him, tell him you'll return later and walk away. I taught preschool for several years and keeping with this routine it won't be long at all before he will be waving good bye when you leave. Sons have a special place in our heart. A lot of people call it a mamma's boy, I just call it knowing they are LUV'd. My is 26 and we still find special one on one time for us. Enjoy your son the time flies by.

Jodi - posted on 01/25/2010

I'm a in home daycare provider and I agree with these moms. My advice for you is to talk to him about where you are going and that you will be back to get him right after nap time or snack time, when ever it my be. If your daycare has a schedule routine through out the day he will understand the time you will be back. I have to explain to my children throughout the day when mom will be back and then they go on playing.
Also having something of yours helps too. Hand him to the sitter and walk away Don't look back. It's hard I know but you can do it!

Kellie - posted on 01/25/2010

try to have your sitter over for dinner or something before you leave so that your child learns that they are a friend and not to be scared.. make them feel comfy with you being gone and being left with the sitter.. my friends that are constantly around are the ones that my daughter is most comfy with when im gone..

Alvina - posted on 01/25/2010

just stay calm when you leave. If he sees that you're not making an issue of it then he won't . give him a couple days with the sitter and he'll develope his own comfortzone and it will be like nothing to leave him there.

Laycee - posted on 01/25/2010

Mine too!! He started daycare 2 weeks ago and hates it. My son will even freak out when we leave him with some family members. He's never been away from my husband or I so I understand this is new for him and it takes a little to adjust, but it's soooo sad. Hope your son adjusts better than mine.

Jessica - posted on 01/25/2010

My son recently started crying when I leave him at daycare.. He used to never care. I began to wonder if it's the new daycare he doesn't like.. or if it's just him... Wait it out and see, make sure it's not the sitter that he doesnt' want to be left with. They'll let you know if they don't like something!

But be strong.. Try and distract him when you're leaving, it may be easier on him if he doesn't know you're stepping out...

Susan - posted on 01/25/2010

I work in a daycare and I think that the advice all the other mothers have given you is right on. You cant give into his guilt trip. Most kids go through this and boys are especcially bad.

Rebecca - posted on 01/25/2010

Stop beating yourself up! Kids, especially boys, are very attached to their mommies. The fact that he stops crying after you leave indicates that he feels safe with his caregiver. Make sure that you don't feed into his anxiety when he starts to freak out. Give him a hug and a kiss and tell him mommy will be back to get him later, then leave. DO NOT keep going back and trying to console him, it will only feed into his hysteria. I know it sounds cruel but what you are actually doing is helping your son feel confident that although you may leave him, you will always return. Before you know it he'll stop getting so upset. He'll be more confident in his independance and secure in the knowledge that he's safe and you'll be back for him.

Good luck!

Samantha - posted on 01/25/2010

You need to stay strong as you head out the door. My daughter was doing the same thing and one day the sitter told me that everything was OK and just go. I got out the door and waited, she stopped crying with in 30 seconds. Now after a couple of months of me just saying good-bye and not stopping, my daughter will just wave as I walk out.

Emma - posted on 01/25/2010

alot of children do that there trying to make u feel bad for leaving them. i remember the first few times i went through it with my son i cried when i left coz i felt so bad ! but if u give in and go back he knows what he needs to do to get u back and it will get worse. they are fine once use mums r gone. typical ! but he will learn that it wont work and stop doing it. then u ll get upset and think hes not bothered anymore ! lol. just takes a bit of time.

Sara - posted on 01/25/2010

It sounds like he has seperation anxiety. Maybe try giving him something of yours to remember you by...an article of clothing with your smell on it. I don't think there is much else you can do. It's not hurting him(really it hurts you more) and he will grow out of it eventually. Hope this helps!

Dawn - posted on 01/25/2010

There really isn't much you can do. Sorry! That is pretty typical though. My oldest son did that when he was about that age, he finally stopped around 3 years old.He would just wave and say good bye. As long as he is having a good day after that, then don't worry!

Jessica - posted on 01/25/2010

More details: My son is 20 months.He is a mama's boy and hates it when I leave, even when I leave him with dad. How can I help him understand that he has to stay with the sitter. She is a nice lady and a good sitter. She is kind and patient. She say's he quits crying within minutes that I leave, and he is happy the rest of the day. He plays well with the other kids, lays down to nap well, and even helps pick up toys. How can I keeps him from freaking out?