My son got a girl pregnant and the baby was born this week. The parents are not going to be together. My question is this: does my son have any rights? The baby's mother omitted naming a father on the birth certificate, and also gave the baby her last name. We do not know

Jan - posted on 02/05/2009 ( 30 moms have responded )

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My son got a girl pregnant and the baby was born this week. The parents are not going to be together. My question is this: does my son have any rights? The baby's mother omitted naming a father on the birth certificate, and also gave the baby her last name. We do not know "for sure" if the baby is his or not. A paternity test needs to be done. How does one ask the mother for consent, and is there a place that doesn't cost an arm and a leg to have the test done? Thanks so much!

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[deleted account]

If the mom goes after him for child support, demand a paternity test. Yes, your son being the father gives him rights. A paternity test may be required to prove he is the father. As for the paternity test, any lab should be able to do the paternity test. Quite simply let the baby's mother know that since she omitted naming your son as the father on the birth certificate, that you would like a paternity test. Based on the outcome of the paternity test, you would like your son to be allowed visitations with the baby.

Joanne - posted on 02/05/2009

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Yes he has rights..if you live in vegas he needs to go to Equal Rights for Divorced Fathers...it's ok if they haven't been married...similar situation happened to someone very close to me and he has full custody now becuase of this support group..they have pro-bono lawyers and are very passionate...name not on the birth certificate and paternity not proven..this group arranged for paternity to be proven via welfare and it only cost $75.  and then arranged for the birthcertificate to be changed and with God's blessings eventually got full custody...it's tough but it can be done!  good luck!

Joleen - posted on 02/05/2009

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Call your local Department of Human Services/Child Protective Services to ask about your states laws regarding paternity testing...they can direct you to your areas legal council as well.  Once paternity is established, then yes..your son has the same rights to the baby as the mother and the same amount of responsibility...he would then want to petition the court for shared custody...w/out court ordered custody/visitation than mom could leave the state or keep the baby from him...hope this helps!

Veronica - posted on 02/05/2009

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As it stands with his name omitted from the birth certificate he has no rights, but he can go to social services and request a DNA test and once it is proven that he is the father he will have all the fatherly rights.  He would be able to get custody or visitation rights and everything else.  I had to find all this info out because my second child's father is not named on her birth certificate and I do not want him having anything to do with her.  They told me about the DNA test.  I hope this helps.

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Jodie - posted on 01/04/2012

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I would ask your doctor about a paternity test or get the child support agency to do it but then your son might have to pay child support and if you have a problem with that because you aren't sure about paternity then you might wanna avoid the CSA. My doctor gave me great advice on paternity tests but it depends on where you live and what doctor you have. Good luck!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/27/2011

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Jan, I was gonna respond to this thread, but I see it was started in February...and that you are pretty inactive. I wanted to see if you have any updates on the situation?

Debby - posted on 06/27/2011

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You can contact your state's Attorney General and Family Services for assistance....

Patti - posted on 06/27/2011

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It will be different from state to state, I would imagine. It is worth calling a legal aide office (usually free of charge) they cannot give you specific legal advice, but they can give you information about the law and parental rights in such a case. I would start there. His paternity can always be determined with a DNA test as well - it is worth checking into what the legalities of obtaining this are. Rights will be an interesting thing, for with parental rights come financial responsibilities as well. Gaining parental rights may mean he is prepared to be responsible for the child financially for the next 18 years. Do your homework and investigation before you take any action and know what you and your son are prepared to take on before any actions are taken.

Patricia - posted on 06/27/2011

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the baby is half his. they cannot steal his child. if they keep up the b.s. you may win full custody. thank God he wants to be a part of this child's life i'm like that but we r , unfortunately, few and far between. you can have joint custody as long as he's not abusive and or a criminal! get a court ordered dna test and let him start paying child support immediately after. it's commensurate w his income so, i think the lowest is still $50 a month. but it's legal it doesn't guarantee anything but it looks good to the court. child support enforcement does the dna tests right in their waiting room. a swab test. the mother doesn't seem like she's the one for you to ask, you can try she may be more cooperative than her parents. she was cooperative, at least one night, so it's only fair that she own up to her actions. looks like she might need a court order. let him do all the paperwork since i'm sure he's on the young side and doesn't make a lot of money.

Nicole - posted on 02/06/2009

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A similar situation happened to a woman I used to work with, but her son and the girl were still together. She admitted to cheating and to be sure they requested the test, which is when all their troubles started. Try your best not to fight, but I know that is not necessarily in your hands. I would definately get documentation of all correspondences. That way if it does end up going to court you have proof of the actions that you took. Even if it is just righting down the day and time you called or keeping a copy of a letter you sent. It is wonderfull that your son wants to be a part of his childs life, too many would just walk away. I just hope that the mother does not fight, she is only keeping her daughter away from a whole other family of people who love her. Just let her know that you are not trying to take her child away from her, but that you want that little girl to know her daddy and know that he loves her. I really wish you the best of luck.Once your son is established as the father if he decides that he doesn't want to be a part of his childs life, you still have rights as a grandparent. If she applies for aid she will have to tell them who she thinks the father may be. If she refuses then they can deny her any aid. This was what happened to another friend of mine. The father wanted nothing to do with the child and she didn't want him around either, but since she would not cooperate and give names of possible fathers she was unable to recieve government help. Hopefully there will be no fighting and everything works out for the best. Please keep us posted on how every thing goes. Feel free to message me if you would like.

Laura - posted on 02/06/2009

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of course your son has rights. I agree with jennifer if the mother goes after him for cs payments then get a paternity test done first. If the child is his then he is allowed access to his child. If there are problems with this you will have to go through a court to get a court order saying he is allowed access to his child. No child should be brought up not knowing their father.

Erika - posted on 02/06/2009

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I am from Canada so our rules/regulations may be different but yours but your son should INSIST he is on the birth certificate if he wants any rights in his baby's life. In Canada you have a year to change whatever you need to on the birth certificate. Paternity tests can be really expensive but don't go for the cheapest option. Make sure the results will be recognized by a court again if your son wants rights. It's a very tough situation but I commend your son for wanting to be involved...so many men would take the opportunity to bail. No matter what the situation that child will know he is loved by his daddy and grandma! Great job Grandma!

Tracy - posted on 02/06/2009

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The mother does not have to name the child's father when applying for aid from the state. She can name him "unknown". So, if you want to be involved in the child's life, you must be proactive in firstly proving by a DNA test that she is his baby. You (your son that is) can hire a lawyer or you can represent yourself - there are probably paralegal services in your area that will have the paperwork you need. File an emergency hearing with the court. The court will order a paternity test because your son is not on the BC. She will have to make the child available for testing within a certain time period...usually 2 weeks.   From experience.... please make every effort to be kind to the mother even if it seems like she is not returning your kindness. She is just protecting her baby. Since the baby is so young, she may be nursing and needs mom all the time. Make your home available to her for visiting with the baby of meet her out for dinner. Be welcoming. Bring her diapers/formula (save the receipts) If your son is proven to be the father, he will have to work together with the mother to co-parent this child for the next 18 yrs and you will want that to get off on the right foot....Good Luck!

Catherine - posted on 02/06/2009

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im going throu the same sort of thing with my ex your son dose have rights i mean if they can give rights to a man thats vilont ive tryed to stop him from seeing mine and he took me to court and i lost all i got told is he is the farther you cant stop him from seeing them.so tell your son to prove hes the dad and take her to court he sould win hands down

[deleted account]

I ahd a male friend in the same situation a few years back if I recall he had to get a lawer,go to court for paternal rights.Granted it needed to be proved that he was the father.If the teat came back he was he would then have to pay for the test if he wasnt she would have to.What I do not for certain is at this very second him not being on the birth certificate means he has no rights to this baby.My lawer with my first son purposely had me omit my sons dad off the birth record because he was threatening mine and my unborn childs life and my lawyer told me by omitting his name he could not come near the baby.I hope this gives you a little insight.P.s. Im sorry to hear about the position that you are in I know its complicated.Best of luck!!!!

Theresa - posted on 02/05/2009

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go see a lawyer and ask what his rights are in this area since she didn't give the child his last name then chances are she doesn't know herself. As for the test if she seeks aid from the state where you live she will have to tell them who she thinks is the father and they will get a court order for the test. If it is proven the child is his then in most cases what they do is set up visitation and child support. the baby will be issued a new birth certificate with both names on it and the father can request of the courts to have the baby's last name changed. In our state the father usually ends up paying for the test. This is what happened in my niece's case. Have you been allowed to see the baby? Your son has rights as long as he is willing to excersice them. I think the best thing at this point would be to seek professional help from a lawyer who practises family law in the state where you live. I hope this helps

Shelly - posted on 02/05/2009

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Try calling planned parenthood and they maybeable to help with resources!  Or if she goes on welfare she will have to name the father and then your son can at that time request a paternity test and the state will pay for it.  But he needs to be prepared to pay child support.  Which he needs to do at the time you get confermation on the paternity.  He may have to take her to court if she's not planning on drawing welfare.  Good Luck and let us know what you find out....I will keep you in my prayers 

Janet - posted on 02/05/2009

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I feel the first thing you need to do to find out weather this baby is yours or not. Then once you know that you can decide weather you want to go legally to have visitation rights. It would be good that if this child is yours, try and sort it out in a respectable manner. They are parents now and is responsible for another life. Its not nice for anyone to have fighting parents no matter what is about. We see so much chat shows and the baby does not end up being the person who the mother thought it was. It would be good for your son to find out now than later. Make it be the most important thing in your life. Your son does not want to keep wander all his life weather this child is his or not. Then later on when the child is big he gets to find out it was and then the child will be asking why didn't you do your best to find out wheather i was or not. By then you would of lost a big part of that childs life and at a early stage it is important for that child to have both parents in their life.

It is up to the mother wheather she wants to put his name last name on it but i am sure if they know they are suppose to put the fathers name on the cert. Some people say they don't know so they don't have to incase the ex-partner tries to take the baby away from her. So make your actions clear and what you want if that child is yours to. BUT don't take a child away from its mother because there is a reason why God made the woman the mother. We tend to be more patience when it comes to babies, its in our nature, not to say men are rubbish with babies but there are a great deal of men that are better carers than the women. NO Loads but a good amount.



Anyway all the best and take care

Jan - posted on 02/05/2009

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Sounds so very hopeful. We are in California so I will look for something like "Equal Rights for Divorced Fathers" here. Thank you for your time!

[deleted account]

Not true about the birth certificate.... I had 2 children whom which one of them had no father on their birth certificate and when they where 5 and 4 their dad took them from me.. He has every right to the child as the mother does. But he would want to go to court and get some rights and have his name added to the B.C. Good luck.. Angela

Jan - posted on 02/05/2009

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Gosh, everyone has such brilliant ideas! Thanks to you all for your help. Yes, my son wants to be involved in his daughter's life and intends on giving child support to help out with the baby. Thank you again!!

Pati - posted on 02/05/2009

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Hello



 



 I like the other comment on asking for one since the name was omitted, that is brilliant! And rather than mentioning anything about money mention that you / your son if the father would like to be involved with the baby. The father absolutely has rights, even if not listed on the birth certificate. Check the laws with your state a DNA test can be requested it is a simple swab on the mouth, no pain. Can even be done through the mail, send a swab of both father and child and they send your results. My niece got a kit and did her sons it was less expensive and they wanted to know for sure.

Sylvia - posted on 02/05/2009

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yes the farther has the right to see his child .. the problem is he will probley have to prove his the farther and then pay to keep the child wich is no problem as by the way you sound his a nice chap .. not all men just can walk away .. i do wish you all the best of luck

Lisa - posted on 02/05/2009

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He does have rights but will have to petition for paternity through the court in order to have his name added to the birth certificate. It will probably require the results of a paternity test which can be done pretty easily by the company ANY TEST. At the time he is added to the birth certificate he can request the baby be given his last name if he likes. It will then probably be in his best interest to set a legal visitation schedule through the court. Of course this also means she can sue him for child support. Hope this helps you out and good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 02/05/2009

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If your son wants visitation rights he needs to go to the court house once it is proved that he is the father.  He can file all the papers there and do everything on his own without a lawyer, but he must also be prepared to pay support.  If the judge does order in his favor than he can petition to have his name on the certificate, which he can easily have put on if he has contact and is paying the judge will order that immediatly.  The only thing is not to let it go too long.  Be smart and start paying now and every month with a money order so he doesn't get hit in the end.  There are charts avail. on the government website telling you how much to pay.  But remember pay with a money order and keep the proof.  I hope this helps, I have experience in the same sort of situation.

Jan - posted on 02/05/2009

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Veronica, I will check with social services in the morning. Great advice. Sorry it was with first hand experience for you, hope it all worked out alright.

Patti - posted on 02/05/2009

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All fathers have rights.  The rules alter slightly between states/provinces but if he can prove he is the father, then he has rights and so do the grandparents.  I will assume he and yourselves wish to be part of this child's life and if that is the case, you may wish to seek some legal assistance in order to find out what those rights are.  I would then suggest a friendly opportunity to connect with the young lady and her family (depending on the relationship) to work out how that might work for everyone.



It is a tough emotional time for all of you, certainly one of the most difficult of situations in which to be, I wish you all the luck in the world and wish I could offer more.

Jan - posted on 02/05/2009

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"Quite simply let the baby's mother know that since she omitted naming your son as the father on the birth certificate, that you would like a paternity test".

Jennifer, that is a genius idea. Such a simple solution to that question. Thanks!

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