my son has behavior problems can anyone help of ways to deal with this ????

Charity - posted on 11/23/2011

My son's behavior problems started at 4 years old, and much like with your son, the Dr's were slow to check out any of my concerns. He is now 11 years old and after an extremely lengthy back and forth between me and his doctors, as well as being kicked out of several doctor offices, he is now on "Abilify" which has worked WONDERS for his irate mood, and aggression issues, as well as adderall for his ADHD. My sons actual diagnosis is Aspergers syndrome, and to look at him you cannot tell anything is wrong with him, but ADHD is a "common" side effect of Aspergers, so to try to talk to him, or teach him anything, his disabilities are somewhat apparent, although it was NEVER anything I would have imagined. Either way, my point is that it has taken me 7 years just to try to figure out what the underlying issue is. I know sometimes its really hard to deal with the behavioral issues, but stick to your guns and MAKE the doctors do psych evaluations and any other tests they possibly can, because your child may be acting out due to many other issues. Never lose hope in your child, even though the older he gets, the worse the symptoms will become. I hope this helps you. =)

Indra - posted on 11/07/2011

His aggression is bad towards you because you are the safe one in his life. He knows no matter what you will be there for him! So first and foremost know that his acting out is because you are the one he views as constant! Now you need to set up boundaries for him. Before going anywhere with him you tell him the rules before getting out of the car. So if you go to the library you tell him, "We are going to the library this is what I expect from you. Keep your hands to yourself, keep your voice to a whisper, walk. If you can't stick to these rules we will leave the library right away." Repeat them with me. The very first time he runs etc. Leave. It doesn't matter if he is kicking or screaming. Pick him up and calmly tell him, "I'm keeping you safe and sticking to our rules. We are going to the car to talk." Tell him you love him once he is safely in the car and in his seat. Go home and keep trying. He will get it but the temper tantrums will become far and few in between if you stick to it...Medication does help impulsivity. Some children do need medication so don't be frightened off by trying medication. There are a couple of different medications on the market for ADHD but some react differently to children's systems so if one doesn't work try another and don't be afraid to try another one if one fails.

Shannon - posted on 01/31/2010

Hi Amber,
Not to worry, you rather have them analyze the situation to the fullest, rather than try to declare your son adhd and hand himj over meds. I doctor did the opposite, due to a survey the teacher and I filled out about our daughter and her behavior. Thank god we did not give her the riddlin, she was being a normal 6 year old kid whose was extremely hyper and would have mood swings and sometime could not control her anger, she would scratch her face and bang things around, well she is 13 now and she is awsome, she is an A student, but still adventures, but now knows how to deal with her emotions. Kids, sometimes do not know how to channel there feelings, we have so many, that they get confused and act out. So, my suggestion is work real hard and don't give up, keep on him, everyday, and you will notice the difference in a few years. Trust me , I could tell you so much more,

Amber - posted on 01/01/2010

Quoting Renae:

I dont know that I can help but I just wanted to check whether among the doctors who are caring for boy, is there a behavioural psychologist? If not, I suggest that you ask to referred to one who works exclusively with children, especially if he is diagnosed with ADHD.

yes there is a psycologist doctor involved with my son although he dosent seem to be very much help and he is the main doctor there!!!!

at first he said josh was showing lots of signs of adhd then when we went second time he said he thinks josh may have learning difficulties too the fist assesment took 16 weeks and that was just for josh to be seen.............

now we have been told we have to wait a further 16 weeks for a learning assesment for josh to determine if he is behind how far behind ect

his is very fustrating as i have been fighting for a long while for him to be seen as there is clearly a behvioral/mental heath problem!!

mental health problems run in family and i want ti to be looked in to while he is young as things could get a lot worse and i dont want that for my son as i love him so much

Amber - posted on 01/01/2010

yes i know its not his diet i am very carefull what he eats and i always cook fresh normally as am a trainnee chef i understand that diet makes a big difference..........................he normally not phashed when u take things away from him he will just do things he is not meant to do i have tried putting him in the noty corner when he not good but he just dosent seem to be bothered!!!!!! i just keep trying different things but havent found anything that has worked yet its very hard :( but hopefully we will get there i love him and i never give up on him

Renae - posted on 01/01/2010

I dont know that I can help but I just wanted to check whether among the doctors who are caring for boy, is there a behavioural psychologist? If not, I suggest that you ask to referred to one who works exclusively with children, especially if he is diagnosed with ADHD.

Holly - posted on 01/01/2010

Is there a consequence you can give that really bothers him (ie taking a certain toy away for a time, tv priviledges . . . It's not about punishing him as much as about teaching him self control. If you find something effective it will definitley get worse before it gets better because he will want to go back to the norm - doing it his way. Also, if you find something STICK WITH IT. Be consistent so that he knows when you say it you mean it.

Jodi - posted on 01/01/2010

Have you been to see a nutritionist to adjust his diet. Sometimes these things can be diet related......