My son is 10 months old and still not sleeping through the night.
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Rachel - posted on 11/04/2008
i had to do the Ferber too- i had an 11 month old that never slept without me and a 2 yr old who clung to my leg! i was losing my mind! literally- i was so glad when that week was over. he was so stubborn- but he learned! they do grow up and they do eventually sleep on their own- it's just a matter of time
Julie - posted on 11/04/2008
I was having the same problem with my 6 month old and I bought her a crib toy that plays music or nature sounds and puts a hollogram on the ceiling. If she wakes up I go and turn it on and she falls right back to sleep. I only have to do every few nights, and she sleeps way better now too!!!!
Natasha - posted on 11/04/2008
Someone loaned me their copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Bottom line, it's a cry it out book. I wouldn't have the heart to do it before 6-8 months, but, at some point, the point of the book is that everyone, including mommy, needs sleep. My son is 9 months old, and sleeps quite well through the night. I haven't done nightime feedings in at least 2 months (and he is breastfed). I also found having him on a feeding schedule did wonders for my sanity. I did on demand feedings for 3 months, and I never really knew what he wanted. Once I fed every 4 hours, I started to notice his wake and sleep patterns. Up till about a month ago he fed at 8am, 12, 4, 8 and 9, and now he is going to bed b/w 7:30-8. Maybe I am a little harder than many, but, when it comes to bedtime, if he has been bathed,m changed and nursed, and it is his usual bedtime and he cries, I leave him. He will fall asleep, and when he wakes up, he's just as happy to see me as the days he fell asleep nursing. I also forgot to turn my monitor on a couple times, and he was none the worse for wear. Babies need to learn to sleep, and that mom isn't at their 24 hour beck and call. I do not believe that letting them cry at bedtime is destroying their trust issues. They don't want to sleep, but they need to, and so do you.
Shelley - posted on 11/03/2008
Is he able to put himself to sleep? If you decide to do the cry it our/Ferber/controlled crying start at nap time. Keep him up the am (or a short nap before 10:30 am), and lay him down, with a full tummy, clean bum, free of gas, drowsy but awake. He may fuss, and he may cry, but hopefully he is comfortable enough and tired enough to sleep. 2.5 hours seems to be ideal. After dinner, do your bedtime routine - bath, story (I do songs in the tub because they are stimulating and a story to sooth). I found that vetoing the bedtime bottle worked very well. We still cuddle with the story and she doesn't need the extra since she has a big dinner.
Whether nap or bedtime, once your son can put himself to sleep, it's an easy step to putting himself back to sleep. Check on him to ensure his arm or leg isn't out of the crib, and his diaper isn't full (add prunes or prune juice to his breakfast if he is a night time pooper so he can eliminate during the day), but be very matter of fact. I always pat my 8 month old and say 'It's still time to sleep, I love you and will see you in the morning.' Last night she played with her toes and sang and gurgled for about 20 minutes, then put herself back to sleep (we're in Canada and we changed our clocks Sat night, felt the effects last night).
Unless there are medical problems, the average 10 month old can sleep through the night without a problem. They are, by this time, expert mommy manipulators (not a bad or intentional thing, btw) and are used to mommy coming in and making it all better.
My own did not fuss or cry a little, but are very determined and outright screamed. My son for 40 minutes the first time, 20 the second and that was it. My daughter (8 months now) did similar (40 minutes at nap, 20 at bedtime and done). They would scream, stop and listen for my footsteps and go again. Any inconsistency, like rushing in and helping them fall asleep, set us back days, sometimes months.
I was very worried about breaking the trust I had worked so hard to build with my children, but a good nights sleep is so important for everyone. I can't take my child to play and learn if he falls asleep in the middle of it. An I need to be awake and alert as well. Our trust and connection was not affected.
We have dinner, bath, story then bed for both children, and they are in bed between 6:30 and 7:30. My 2 year old likes to read on his own or play with his soft toys for a bit to wind down, and my 8 month old is beat. Generally, they both sleep through the night. If my 8 month old is awake before 7, she does need a nap around 9/9:30, which I limit to under an hour, preferably she is awake or awakened (with kisses) by 10. Snack at 10, lunch from 11:30-12, nap from 12:30 to 3. Snack, then dinner between 5 and 5:30 and do it all over again.
I know that is a long explanation, but it was all essential to sleeping through the night. One step at a time. There is no right answer and no wrong answer (with the exception of extremes such as drugging or allowing a baby to scream for 8 hours with an overflowing diaper or worse), and it is really hard to decide what is right for you and your child.
Best of luck!
Anne - posted on 11/03/2008
My daughter did not sleep through the night until the day after her 1st birthday! I was nursing up until that time and she just wasn't ready to make the break. I know that it's hard but hang in there...he'll make the transition when he's ready!
Lindy - posted on 11/03/2008
I still rock my son, but he sleeps through the night most nights after we put him down. We had to let him cry it out because all he wanted was his binky and wouldn't find it on his own. He finally found his binky on his own (we have about 5 in the crib) and usually does well. We did the 5 minutes of crying, going in to soothe, 7 minutes, 10 minutes etc, but we didn't put the binky back in. He had to find it himself. After the first night he would get too angry when we went in so he just cried (only for like 20 minutes). It didn't take more than 3 days and he slept through the night. I know the crying sounds harsh, but it does work for some kids. Have you tried a sound machine or music? My son has a sound machine and that way small noises don't wake him up and we can create a similar sleeping environment no matter where we go. Good luck.
Manon - posted on 11/03/2008
I personnaly don't agree with letting your baby cry. You want o build the trust with your child and they are crying to a reason. Parent Today magazine had a great article on Get Baby To Sleep. It has 3 or 4 different methods to choose from and you choose the one that best suit you and your baby. It worked for my daughter and I. I stopped breastfeeding at 20 months and that helped too.
User - posted on 11/03/2008
Mine is 9 1/2 mo. and doing the same thing. My only advice is to do whatever you need to now b/c they won't grow out of it. I never did anything about my middle child and I have a 2 1/2 yr. old who still wakes up crying at night. My baby has been going to bed by himself for 4 mo. now and still wakes up crying (screeching) 3-6 times a night. I'm going to try Ferber, I wish you the best of luck :)
Rebecca - posted on 11/03/2008
Out of sheer exhaustion one week, I turned the moniter down and used controlled crying on my 8 month old. I knew that he was totally safe in his cot and that there was nothing he needed - he was just waking out of habit. On the third night he slept the whole night and has done ever since! (Except when he's sick!!!) I felt totally guilty for a while, but as soon as my sleep patterns were back to normal, I was loving it!
My sister did the same thing with her oldest child but he was 17 months. She constantly says that she wishes she'd done it sooner - she just wasn't ready for it then.
Amanda - posted on 11/03/2008
How many times does he wake? My oldest, who was breastfed woke once a night til she was 13 months old, which was no problem. I think that if you want him to sleep you need to make sure he goes to sleep by himself!!! I have done this with my second and he has slept through since 4 months!!!
Liz - posted on 11/03/2008
is your baby breast or bottle fed?? my daughter has only really started sleeping through the night (23 months) and i have just weened her. i think it depends on how often bub is waking and how much it bothers you! controlled crying works if your consistant with it? and they go through stages. i did controlled crying with my daughter to get her to go to sleep, took about 3 days she screamed for hours the first day and picked it up pretty quick after that :) good luck!
Andrea - posted on 11/03/2008
I know it sounds mean and horrible, but I did the Ferber sleep method with my daughter when she was 10 1/2 months. At that time I had a almost 3 year old and she is a twin. The boys were sleeping through but not her. It took about 1 week but it worked and she sleeps beautifuly now. The first night she cried 3 hours so I will say to you hang in there it really is worth it.
Jennifer - posted on 11/02/2008
When my youngest daughter was not sleeping through the night we used to put the shirt my husband or I wore during the day underneath her. This was she thought that we were still there with her. Don`t worry, he will eventually sleep through the night. My youngest did not until she was almost a year old, but my oldest did at 2 months. This stage will pass I promise!! :)