My son is 2.5 yrs old, n get extremly angry when he doesnt get wht he wants, how to control him ?

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Risha - posted on 01/05/2010

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hey ladies ,,, thank u so much.. for ur time... i really appreciate all ur answers ,, thnks will surely try them :)

Amanda - posted on 01/04/2010

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Reward good behaviour - but not with treats or food (can create a bad habit of overeating and addiction to food).

Instead reward with other things like stickers, or special playtimes...or perhaps there is a friend he or she likes to play with - so then you can say, hey here is a sticker chart if you get 5 stickers then we're going to play with Nicholas!

FOLLOW THROUGH with both reward AND punishment. Stay consistent...

So if you say - If you don't sit down and eat some supper then there is no cartoons tonight. Then stick to your guns.

If you say, hey good job for eating all your supper we're going to Nicholas's house tomorrow to play! Then stick with it.

2.5 year olds - there isn't much you can do to control them...they are experiencing new feelings and emotions and they don't know how to control them yet. So helping them through this time is key. If they are mad let them know that you can see they are mad...

Lily, I see you're really mad aren't you?
YES mommy I am MAD!
Ok well why are you mad?

Or - well when Mommy is mad she likes to scream into a pillow do you want to scream into a pillow? LOL

just have a dialogue find out why they are mad - show them ways to deal with anger and frustration :)

you'll get through it! My daughter was a maniac and now that she's almost 3 years old I find she is getting much better.

OH!!! AND BIG BIG THING HERE STOP YELLING yourself! Show them how to be angry.

Kids do what you do - so show them how they should be reacting and acting.

So stop yelling, argue in a sensible way with hubby or whoever is around...make a point to really show them how to have patience and understanding and love and forgiveness, etc...

"Your children will become what you are, so be what you want them to be"

Amanda - posted on 01/04/2010

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Consistency is the key. Its an attention seeking thing and the more you ignore the behaviour the more likely he is to stop as he is getting no response from you. Make sure he is safe if he throws a temper tantrum - my eldest was a headbanger and all I did was place a cushion under his head. Tell him you won't talk to him until he has calmed down, then walk away but be sure you can still see him. It takes time and like I said consistency but he will get there eventually and maybe sooner than you think! Good luck.

Erin - posted on 01/04/2010

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He's angry and he wants your attention. He is trying to provoke a response from you, so don't give it to him. Youutell him his behavior is unacceptable and put him in a time out spot. You tell him that he is not allowed to behave in sucha manner and when he would like to have a conversation and speak nicely and behave appropriately then he may come out and join the family. Then walk away and leave him. If he comes out, put him back but don't say anymore than you already have. The trick is: you have to be specific in decribing the type of behavior that is unacceptable and how it is different from the appropriate/desired behavior. You can have this talk after he has calmed down. You have to teach him. Be specific. Don't assume he already knows how to behave.

Heather - posted on 01/04/2010

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I have found that for my 2 1/2 year old that the best thing to do is walk away from him and ignore it. Then when he calms down we talk about why he was angry. Time out can work too as long as you follow through with it consistently because if you give in even once, you just have to start all over again. Good luck!

Carla - posted on 01/04/2010

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i have a 3.5 yr old girl and we went thru this too and the best thing was for us to just go sit her in her bed and tell her she couldnt get up til she could be a good girl and stop crying...she learnt very quickly if she got up and she hadnt calmed down then she got spanked! we also closed her bedroom door so she couldnt see everybody. it worked for us...

Sylvia - posted on 01/04/2010

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Hi Risha,

I went through the same thing with my son when he was 2yrs and he would even throw things all over if he dint get his way. what I usually did when he would react in that manner is to calm him down by caddling him then allowing him to voice out his complaints or wishes of which I would give him options eg if you do this I will do this or give this to you. the options you give are to teach him how to behave and the right way to react. eg ask him /her to say please mummy can I have this. and when the thing he wants cannot be provided at the time, let me know its not available and that you'll get it for him soonest possible. with that he knew how to control his temper and ask for things in a polite manner and react properly.

talk to him when he over reacts and let him know that his being understood. it helps to communicate and lower your voice to his age eg baby talk. Hope all goes well.

Sylvia.

Kristen - posted on 01/04/2010

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I have a 2 1/2 year old and he does the same thing, so I feel your pain. I do EXACTLY what Kelsey suggested. I ask him to stop and give him a warning and 1. I either walk away and ignore his behavior and most times he will stop (because I know he is looking for a reaction from me) or 2. I put him in a 2 minute time out with first giving him a warning (it can seem like a life time when you first start if they don't stay in it but eventually he will learn his boundaries and know you mean business). and 3. I want to add that you can divert his attention to something else that he IS allowed to do, that can work too. Hope this helps! (o:

Mattee - posted on 01/04/2010

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I agree. I don't have a toddler yet, but I remember my mom with my little brother, would complete ignore him and start walking away... worked every time!

Kelsey - posted on 01/04/2010

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dont react to it maybe? If he learns that acting out gets him nowhere, hell try to find another way to get what he wants. I know explaining things to a 21/2 year old sounds crazy, but when you first say no, explain to him patiently why you said no, and when he starts freaking out, walk away, and dont give him attention, or talk to him untill he calms down. If that still doesnt work, you can try timeouts. Hes about the age where timeout become appropriate, and if done right, they are used to teach him to calm down, not to technically "punish" him. When he keeps getting back up, just keep putting him back down till he sits there for 2 minutes. Timeouts are not a negative thing when you they are used to teach him what is unacceptable behavior and how to control his own behavior. Of course, its not going to "fix" it. At that age, there is no perfect fool-proof way to discipline, but it will help, and it will get the ball rolling for him to gain better control of himself. He needs to know that if he wants attention, or wants you to listen to him at all, he needs to be polite and respectful. Once he gets older, the rewards system will help establish good behavior habbits.

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