my son is 4 yrs 10 mnts and has bad sleeping habits

User - posted on 01/12/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My son falls asleep easily and will sleep in his own bed in his room. Very often, say 4 nights a week he will wake up in the middle of the night (round about 02:00) and come and sleep between me and my husband. Is there maybe something disturbing him in his room, could it be nightmares, is he sleepwalking or it is just plain because he is used to do so? I can feel so tired in the mornings because I did not have a good nights sleep. I have sent him to his room on several occations, but he will sleep for a few minutes in his bed then comes back to mine. Please help me!

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Tameer - posted on 01/13/2009

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Hi Desire!



I have a three yr (soon to be 4) and she used to do the exact same thing. When she was a baby we had NO problems. She has been sleeping in her crib ever since she was born. When she turned 2, I converted her crib to a toddler bed and she adjusted just fine. It wasn't until she went on a long vacation (like two weeks) with my parents when she came back and decided that she didn't want to sleep in her bed anymore. She would start out in her bed, but at 1 or 2 in the morning come get in the bed with my husband and I. At first we didn't even notice she had gotten in the bed with us until we woke up in the morning. Then, when we did notice, we were too lazy to get up and send her back to her room. It has been two weeks now and she has stayed in her bed all night. What we started to do was send her back in her room and made sure she had a night light. If your child is scared of "monsters" what you can do is spray the room with the monster "repellant". We just had to stick to our guns and escort her back to her room every time she came in ours. Its was tiring but after a while, she got the point. And now everytime she wakes up, the first thing she says is, "Mommy/Daddy guess what? I slept in my room all night by myself!" and we praise the good behavior.



 Hope this helps!

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Lyndsey - posted on 01/15/2009

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my problem is my daughter is two and at the moment shares a room with my 7 year old so when she wakes up and crys i try to persuade her to stay in her bed but then her cry turns into screams and wakes up my eldest who then cant get back to sleep so the easiest option is to let her in our bed she then goes straight back to sleep so then we can do the same but i know it is the wrong thing to do but when you work it means you can get a nice sleep

Stephanie - posted on 01/15/2009

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I feel your pain.  That sounds exactly like my daughter.  One night is all night, and the next night she's up 2 and 3 times.  She just wants daddy to lay down with her.  I don't know what to do.  We're exhausted.

[deleted account]

Morning.... my son is 9 and I have a similar situation. In my case habit might have a lot to do with it and a divorce about 3 years ago.



What I have done recently is to take all 'funny' stuff out of his room - any guns, monsters, spiderman, batman, any weird and unusual stuff. He cooperated and does not even want to wear army pants or use his camouflage blanket. He is as desperate as I am to get rid of this sleeping problem as he is ashamed of his behavour. He will be returning from his father and the holidays this weekend and I will be able to measure the level of success.



All I want to recommend is patients but yes, action! Always difficult to know what the right action is.



Thinking about you - and know you are not alone!



Regards

Christa

Patricia - posted on 01/14/2009

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I was also going to recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weissbuth.

User - posted on 01/14/2009

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I have a 1 year old who has the same problem... This is the week my husband and I have decided it must end before the next baby comes this summer. I believe he's just use to sleeping with you. He knows when he wakes up instead of putting himself back to sleep he can go lay down with mommy and daddy. Little kids find sleeping with their parents extremely comforting. Take a week to just work with him on sleeping in his own bed. Instead of allowing him to get in bed with you take him back to his own bed. It will be really really hard for both of you, but eventually he'll get the idea. Good Luck!

User - posted on 01/14/2009

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I have a 1 year old who has the same problem... This is the week my husband and I have decided it must end before the next baby comes this summer. I believe he's just use to sleeping with you. He knows when he wakes up instead of putting himself back to sleep he can go lay down with mommy and daddy. Little kids find sleeping with their parents extremely comforting. Take a week to just work with him on sleeping in his own bed. Instead of allowing him to get in bed with you take him back to his own bed. It will be really really hard for both of you, but eventually he'll get the idea. Good Luck!

User - posted on 01/14/2009

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I have a 1 year old who has the same problem... This is the week my husband and I have decided it must end before the next baby comes this summer. I believe he's just use to sleeping with you. He knows when he wakes up instead of putting himself back to sleep he can go lay down with mommy and daddy. Little kids find sleeping with their parents extremely comforting. Take a week to just work with him on sleeping in his own bed. Instead of allowing him to get in bed with you take him back to his own bed. It will be really really hard for both of you, but eventually he'll get the idea. Good Luck!

Kalyn - posted on 01/14/2009

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Try putting a sleeping bag under your bed and if he does not want to sleep in his own bed, then let him sleep on the floor.  Might not be what the doctors would tell you, but atleast you are not getting kicked all night from him.  It worked for us.  My son finally figured out that he liked his bed better than the floor.

Kalyn - posted on 01/14/2009

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Try putting a sleeping bag under your bed and if he does not want to sleep in his own bed, then let him sleep on the floor.  Might not be what the doctors would tell you, but atleast you are not getting kicked all night from him.  It worked for us.  My son finally figured out that he liked his bed better than the floor.

User - posted on 01/13/2009

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I don't agree with the 'reward' system. I think that if you start giving rewards they become an expectation rather than a 'treat'. I think that if you are persistant, it will all work out, My oldest daughter is 3 now and we too have similar circumstances with her waking in the night. We keep taking her back to her bed, and crawling into our bed in the night is becoming less frequent.

Mariesol - posted on 01/13/2009

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I highly suggest reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbuth. He outlines "sleep training" for different age groups. This book has been my sleep bible. At your sons age, it is more habit that he is waking. You may want to try a week of "sleep training". Letting your son knoww he has to stay in bed the whole night. Walking him back to bed each time he get ups, rewards for sleeping in his own bed etc. The book outlines it very well.



 



Good luck

Monica - posted on 01/13/2009

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I have a 3 year old and I have had similar problems but have now managed to work it out. I went thru a divorce when my son was an infant and I was also very sick for the first 6 mo so I practiced co-sleeping (for the first 2 1/2 years). It wasn't until I started a new relationship and he got bigger that we moved him into his own room. Mainly because it was affecting my sleep and we had decided that we were getting close to wanting to expand the family. Anyway, at the beginning it was certainly a challenge and he would wake up every night and come crawling in. What I discovered was that he was terrified if the room was dark (easy fix- nighlight) and he hates blankets/pajamas (he would be naked all the time if it was up to him) so he would obviously get cold at night (solution heater). These two triggers were the main reasons and after that was fixed then he would stay all night in his room. We would of course congratulate him every morning that he woke up in his bed and now he is so proud of himself. I think with just a bit of persistence and some discovery you will be fine. Good luck!

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