My son is going to be 6 this week, and he still has to wear a diaper at night. He also has accidents nearly everyday both at school as well as at home. We have tried everything to stop this, but have had no success. We realize the night time issue isn't a problem as he is such a deep sleeper he doesn't realize the signals to wake up and go. However, the daytime problem is inexcusable, and we are at our wits end. We have had him tested many times for numerous things, but everything comes down to him not taking the time to go potty. Any suggestions on how to encourage him to go BEFORE it's an accident?

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Jennifer - posted on 02/04/2009

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Hi Andi,



Gosh, where to begin with this mess. We had the night time issues until 2007. My son had been declared ADD/ADHD, behavioral problem, with mental issues, possibly bi-polar, etc. He wet the bed every night! He was 7 and still in pull-ups at night. Late one night, my husband was plugging in data about my son into the computer and he came across a site about obstructed sleep apnea disorder. He called our ped and demanded an appointment the next morning. He told her about what he had found an told her he neededa referral, immediately to a specialist. A few days later, my son and I went to CHKD and saw a pulmanologist and after her exam, she stated that he needed his tonsils out. They were so big that when he went to sleep at night, once his throat muscles relaxed, they blocked his breathing. While I blamed all of his accidents on him being such a deep sleeper, he was, in reality, his was only accumulating roughly four hours of sleep in a 11-12 hour time frame. He never had REM, no dreams. Since he wasn't getting REM, deep sleep, his body, including his bladder were never slowing down. When we sleep, our bodlily systems slow down, we produce less unrine, slower heart rate, etc. We did a sleep study and to sit there and watch him sleep was amazing: he talked, sat up, scooted all over, yelled, tossed insanely. There was no way he was sleeping right.



He had his tonsils and andenoids removed a week later, and within two weeks, he slept with out wetting his bed, every night. No more day time accidents either.



Some thing to check out. The ped had told us for years that his excessive bed wetting was normal and so were the extremely large tonsils. For us, these things were not normal. Research Obstructed Sleep Apnea Disorder.



Most children don't urinate all over themselves every night for attention, so most likely, that option is ridiculous. Good luck!

[deleted account]

Hi Angie,



Thank you for the response.  It sounds as though you went through what I am going through right now.  He really just doesn't want to take the time to go. We DID have him tested for Diabetes, Bladder issues and well as physical immaturity, but all it came down to was he is a normal 5 year old boy.  We tried the incentive route, but with little success, he doesn't care much about getting anything new, when he has what he wants already.  We are trying the next course of action which is to take things away, we shall see how this goes for us.  I am sure that in time he will out grow this, but was hoping for a bit of insight, as well as to know I am not alone it this.



Andi

[deleted account]

Hi Paulette,



No he isn't that, he just doesn't want to go.  He was tested for diabetes,  bladder issues as well as physical immaturity...all came back with "He is a normal 5 year old boy".  He just doesn't want to go.  very frustrating, but I am sure he will get it sooner or later.  Thank You for your advice.

Angie - posted on 02/04/2009

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We had trouble with just being to busy to stop and go.  I was told it was more a boy thing than girl.  We tried incintives and it worked well.  We tried to not get mad because that just made him nervous which is not helpful.  So we found what worked for each boy.  Older boy a sucker, smarties, or skittles for going to the bathroom even if we were the ones to make him sit there.  My younger son we read books or celebrated the sucess in other ways.  For at night I woke up to take them once half way through the night.  It helped a lot.  We do not have many accedents when I get up but if I don't it is a toss up if they will sleep through the night.  Good luck you may also want to ask for a specialist dr. since a family dr. is used to family things like colds and general things you get out of pratice on things you do not see everyday.  I agree it could be something more than just forgetting like my boys.

Jeanelle - posted on 02/04/2009

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My 9 year old was having daytine wetting issues up until maybe September 08. It was so infuriating. I just knew she wasn't taking the time to go. What it turned out to be was she couldn't feel it until she HAD to go so sometimes she wouldn't mwke it or some urine would leak onjto her clothes as whe pulled her pants down.



What we did was buy a VibraLite3 watch from www.bedwettingstore.com. You can set it to go off every 2 - 3 hours (her urologist recommened the duration). When the alarm goes off she knows she has to go to the bathroom. It has stopped the day accidents totally. It gives a 15 minute warning. It is about 50 or 60 dollars but worth every penny.

Jeanelle - posted on 02/04/2009

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My 9 year old was having daytine wetting issues up until maybe September 08. It was so infuriating. I just knew she wasn't taking the time to go. What it turned out to be was she couldn't feel it until she HAD to go so sometimes she wouldn't mwke it or some urine would leak onjto her clothes as whe pulled her pants down.



What we did was buy a VibraLite3 watch from www.bedwettingstore.com. You can set it to go off every 2 - 3 hours (her urologist recommened the duration). When the alarm goes off she knows she has to go to the bathroom. It has stopped the day accidents totally. It gives a 15 minute warning. It is about 50 or 60 dollars but worth every penny.

Patty - posted on 02/03/2009

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Hi Andi, I had experienced that on my daughter. I just keep talking to her how to be a respnsible little girl. I also bring up to her a little manipulations like if he has a friend tell him his friend is not even doing that or it is not nice to keep having accidents or try to make a deal with him if he is not going todo that again.. Make sure a deal is part of a learning process ok.:-)

Shawn - posted on 02/03/2009

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I had problems with my daughter at 7 and low and behold, she was constipated, the pressure was too much on her bladder at night. problem solved, no problems since and she is 16

Thera - posted on 02/03/2009

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My daughter has had the same type of problems. She is now 8 and is getting much better. She is allowed only limited amounts of caffeine. Caffeine really makes her not even realize she is wetting her pants. I also got a note from her doctor for school to say that she may use the restroom whenever it is necessary. When she was younger she was only allowed milk after dinner. This helped alot, since milk turns to a solid, I didn't have to refuse her drinks before bed. I hope this helps.

[deleted account]

A good friend of mine had this issue until her son was 12 and finally took him to a specialist. He just was not taking the time to go and knew he had on a "good night".

He wore an apperatis (sp?) that would alarm the second it detected wetness...

After a couple times of that he made up his mind he was going to stop wetting and go to the bathroom. For years everyone told her he would grow out of it...some kids do.

Go to a specialist and ask for help.

Kim - posted on 02/03/2009

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I recently spoke to my pediatrician who said that this is not unusual. It's a "lack of development" between the "brain to bladder". He does not recommend using any medications at this point. He said that he doesn't recommend using meds until 8 or 9 yers old. He also says that it may be a pain but to just use things like pullups for overnight & eventually it will stop & to just give them time to develop that brain to bladder connection.

Meghan - posted on 02/03/2009

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Hey - My daughter who is also turning 6 soon - still has accidents at night... 1. I do not try to keep up with the Jones'  - I am not in a competition, i am raising a human being.  She is a heavy sleeper and still does not recognize the signals to wake up. (Medically speaking - every child develops the completion of nerve signals to the brain differently) But lately I have incorporated a few things... Before bed she sits on the toilet for a few minutes (I give her a book) and she waits until she has to go, also - her bedtime is 8 so she is not allowed anything to drink after 6pm)



During the Day she has had accidents - we had several at school at the beginning of the year, I simply asked her if she was holding it in... And wasn't to surprised to find out she did not want to "miss" anything, and therefor spent her time giggling and playing around in the bathroom then going.



Much depends of my attitude and what is going on in her life... If I'm positive toward her - and relaxed... she is as well.  If my life is chaotic and I'm stressed out (yelling, impatience etc..) then she is as well.  Stay positive and trust yourself (don't listen to know-it-alls) discuss your concerns with your childs pediatrician if you find that you need guidence... Good luck!

Tina - posted on 02/03/2009

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As far as the night time goes, I wet the bed until I was 11! It was not something I could control and trust me I tried. I missed out on a lot of sleepovers because of it! Then all of a sudden, I stopped. My father had the same problem and I know my daughter probably will too. It seems to be inherited. Wetting his pants during the day is a different story. I know she is a lot younger, but we had a tough time with my 3 yr old. Finally, I just started ignoring it when she wet her pants and made a HUGE deal out of it when she went to the bathroom. You could also try a sticker chart. Make a schedule where he has to atleast TRY every 1/2 hr and he can earn a sticker. A certain amount of stickers can earn him a prize. After a few days, upgrade the stickers to going every 1/2 hr but earning a sticker every 2 hours and so on. Pretty soon, you will be up to a sticker a day for staying dry. I know it sounds like a lot of work but hey, it is better than doing all that laundry!!

[deleted account]

We still have issues with my 17 year old step-son going to the bathroom properly...not what you wanted to hear, right? I met my husband when Taylor was 9 and he has been a handfull. Taylor was diagnosed with ADHD in 1st grade, and thwn with Tourette's Syndrome in 6th grade. He wet the bed off and on for quite a while, so we prohibited any liquids after 7:30 and made sure he went to the potty before bed at 9. Eventually we got through the wetting part and just had to work on making it to the potty before getting #2 in his underwear. To help with that we made sure he was "regular" by verifying he had a BM every night after dinner. I know the frustration you are going through, but hopefully it won't be prolonged like Taylor's was. We still have him on Miralax to keep him from holding it in.

Genia - posted on 02/03/2009

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my daughter had accidents at till she was 10 at night and i just cut out drinks completely at 6:00 till she finally stopped. And my son use to do the same thing but the teacher would make him go every 20 min to the bathroom and that really seemed to help him he eventually just started takin time to go

Paulette - posted on 02/03/2009

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Hi, I was wondering what you have tried and how you and your husband have reacted when he does go in his underwear and pants? I have a son who just turned 7 and he also is mildly autistic with speech delay. It took us up to and into his 6th year to get him trained during the day but he is trained. I used a lot of different methods too. At night he wears a pull up just in case. We limit his drink intake in the evening trying now to get him completely trained.

Renee - posted on 02/03/2009

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Hi, my son that is now 15 when younger had accidents and didn't know he wet himself, it turned out to be the nevre that went from the bladder to the brain and back was not fully developed, and the urlogist gave him medicine that was helpful, Also we stop drinking any drinks past 7pm, his bedtime was 9. So i hope this helps, He will grow out of it. Good Luck!

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