My son is mixed but is completely white from head to toe!! HELP!!!

Haley - posted on 05/31/2011 ( 64 moms have responded )

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I really need some answers. My son is 14 months old, his dad is black and im fully white, well he has straight soft hair, olive colored skin, and no features of a mixed child. My family and friends dont believe hes mixed and i hear about it every single day, and i just want to know if im the only one going through this or if someone elses child is like this too. Im to my breaking point for trying to find features of being mixed so i give up :(

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Sharon - posted on 05/31/2011

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Haley - the people giving you & the babys' father grief, need to be told to STFU and to step off.

Its none of their business if the child ISN'T the biological product of your husband. What if he were sterile and you guys used a sperm donor? Ok, so that didn't happen here but do you see what I mean? Its none of their business.

These people are being rude. They aren't geneticists. Throw back genes pop up all the time. Like my son getting green eyes. He also looks the most like me. I got shit from hubbys' white family all the time. I ignored them and when they didn't let up, I let them have it. It's none of their damned business where my son got the green eyes from (my grandmother) and I was just glad he didn't get their slack jawed pollock stare with the fish hook nose. They learned to NOT be disrespectful of my kids around me. Buncha assholes. I can't stand most of them.

Anne - posted on 06/04/2011

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I don't think you should worry about what other people say. I am white, my husband is white and we adopted a mixed race child. People keep telling me how much our daughter looks like my husband. She acts like him and they both have super curly hair, but that's about it. We think it's hilarious how people keep asking us if she is from a previous marriage, really thinking she is my husband's.
Also, yes, genes do skip generations sometime. If you are really concerned, you can always get a paternity/maternity test done. I don't think they cost much. Just in case you think you baby was switched at birth. ;)

Kimberly - posted on 06/07/2011

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did you know that two black people can produce a completly white baby. it happens. its rare but it can happen. i can see where it can cause alot of problems but i can promise you if you take a look at his blood his genes will say he is part black.

User - posted on 03/14/2012

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I don't feel alone no more everyone I know who has a mix baby they look mixed my husband black I'm white n our. Lil girl peyton is white. Everyone saying its not my husband even with dna people still run there heads. We know the truth but makes it hard on us.

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Leisa - posted on 09/29/2012

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I have 2 boys (3.5yrs & 2.5yrs). Both have the same daddy (he is Turkish). The eldest is mini me - blonde hair, blue eyes, white skin, thin. The youngest is a mini dad - dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, solid as!! I still have both randoms and his family ask me if I'm sure they have the same dad. I kept ignoring it until just recently. In front of the kids, my FIL quite rudely declared that 'him' (pointing to the daddy look alike) was his grandchild BUT 'HIM' (pointing to mini me the eldest) was not his grandchild, that his son (my hubby) was not his father.. It was horrible! The youngest had no idea what was going on but the eldest certainly knew. He was traumatised. He was crying saying 'but he is my daddy' etc etc. the eldest is the biggest daddy's boy too - he adores his dad - I'm just 'mum' lol! It's been a couple of months since that 'incident' and I have put a stop to them seeing any of our kids. We also have a 15yr old (my step daughter) and she is with us full time. Anyhow, she is very protective of her baby brothers and especially this topic about the 3.5yr old not being her 'real' brother. She has absolutely no respect for her grandparents and doesn't want a thing to do with them.

All they had to do was open their eyes - instead, they have lost 3 grand kids! But honestly, I should have made a stance when he was a baby instead of thinking the remarks would just stop!

Billi Jo - posted on 09/29/2012

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i understand completely i am white and my sons dad is very dark skinned black our baby is four weeks old and is whiter than me with straight brown hair i know people think theres no way hes mixed and my sister even made the comment she knows hes not black

Kendra - posted on 05/18/2012

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I'm mixed but white as Casper lol my mom is Irish my father is black no one thinks I'm mixed at all but if you really look I have some things that give it away like my hair it looks to be white hair till I stop straightening it and when it gets wet let not talk about how it turns on me lol so I say don't worry about what people say

Jordan - posted on 08/11/2011

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I'm white (very fair skinned, strawberry blonde hair and green eyes) and my daughters father is african american and she was born white like me and has sandy brown hair and grey/blue eyes. People are always questioning me as well as the father. You're not the only one with this issue trust me. Just blow them off, they're words mean nothing. As long as you're little boy is loved thats all that matters.

LaLasha - posted on 08/02/2011

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I expected my daughters to be darker but they aren't. I'm sorry your family is being so rude about it but this is just how the genetics presented them selves there is nothing you or your so can do about it nor should you do anything about it. so ask your family why are you so hung up on it? why does it matter to them so deeply if the childs father is denying him that is one thing but from you have written YOUR family are the only ones to care. Maybe they aren't as comfortable with you having a child with a black man as they say they are and if they is the case they need to comes to grips with that and get over it. You need to keep your child away from them until they can get over his color or lack there of because it is only going to hurt and confuse him later in life.

User - posted on 07/30/2011

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My son is 4 1/2 and im italian and his father is black... when he was born i heard it from his fathers side.. thats not "maurices" baby hes too white.. well my son is 4 1/2 now and my son is white as snow without a suntan.. and brown skinned only when he gets tan.....and my cousins son is mixed as well the mother is mad white.. and the father is mad black and their son is whiter then the mother.. my best friend is white her daughters father is black..she look 100% black she only has her mothers features.....her skin is mad dark... i would tell everyone to mind their own business. i dealt with it and told everyone to kiss my ass it aint their business regardless! i just had to put my imput in thanks

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DAYCIA- Tell those naysayers to educuate themselves in genetics. I am black with light brown hair and my husband is black with dark hair. Our youngest came out with blond hair and blue eyes. She kinda of looks like your son : ) Our oldest came out with dark hair and eyes. People always think they have different dad and I cheated on my husband. What else annoys me is that people think all African Americans are 100% black. The blond hair most likely came from your husbands side a few generations back. Genes do what the want and land how they want. They don't know what people expect them to do. ---



HALEY - Hang in there. Don't let those people that say otherwise get you down. Like I said in a previous post this happens all the time and there is nothing wrong with it.Try not to let it affect you emotionally or he will be affected by it growing up. But odds are his features will come out as he gets older.

User - posted on 07/22/2011

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This happened to me all the time. My husband is black (black hair, dark brown eyes) and I am Chinese and white (dark brown hair, brown eyes). My son was born with white skin (whiter than mine), straight white blonde hair, and blue eyes. I would get comments constantly. "Mailman comments etc" I had a lady argue with me at the mall saying my kids had different dads. Now that my son is 6, his skin is a tan color and his hair is curly. Strangers still ask me if my husband is blonde. I just laugh.

Darcel - posted on 07/14/2011

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Your kid looks black to me. We are talking about the kissable cheek baby in your profile pic right?

[deleted account]

This happens all the time and people will always talk. They expect genes to land how they think they should land. I have a number of friends who appear white but they are half black. Everyone is very well adjusted. Genes land how they land. I am black as is my husband. Our youngest came out with blond hair and blue eyes (pulled genes out from the 1800's). Some that don't know genetics think I cheated and that it's not possible. As your child gets older his features will probably become more prominent. If they don't please don't worry about it. He is who is and will be beautiful either way.

Holliday - posted on 07/12/2011

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That's how I was when I was a baby. I looked white. Blonde hair, blue eyes, fair skin. My father is black (dark complected) and my mother if white. As I got older, I started looking more mixed. I still have blue eyes but my hair turned brown and my skin darkened. That's the thing with having mixed babies, they can come out looking like anything lol. Now people ask me (I'm 28) if I'm Asian :) It's doesn't matter what people say, you'r son IS mixed no matter what he looks like.

Amanda - posted on 06/07/2011

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your son looks mixed but one way to stop it is to get a dna test just to be like now you can stop asking, i looked at his pic and he dont look completely white the other thing is that it is dna your white dna might have been stronger in his blood so he took after you more and he just might be really like complictied i have two unmixed friends that are sisters that look exactly alike except one is lighter so it depends on his genes

Daniela - posted on 06/07/2011

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I am Mexican and my bbys dad is black when my bby was born he had straight long hair and was very light skinded, i am very light myself, the day he was born everyone was very conused , with age he slowly started getting darker and as soon as i gave him his irst hair cut his hair curled up if i showed u a picture of him as a baby and him now you would never believe it was him! babies change as they grow. you have nothing to worry about :D

Kimi - posted on 06/07/2011

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This shouldn't matter. Did you have this child with a black man to achieve a certain look? Many people who are 'black' are less than 75% black so this is the affect you get. If I were you I would stop bringing up the subject as it will not change the person your son is and will be. Just be OK with it.

Deirdre - posted on 06/07/2011

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I agree with the previous people... as long as you and the father of your child are content, it is no one's business how your child looks. I have a cousin who is Hispanic and black. He looked purely Hispanic for so many years, he still does, but he looks like he is very tan all year round...I say that to say looks do change!!

Julie - posted on 06/06/2011

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Hi Haley,

Don't worry like your son mine is white as well although his dad is black. Its nothing to worry about. My son's now 24 and is the spitting image of his dad, he's like the white version of his black dad.

I wouldn't worry as long as your child is healthy and happy and your partner is happy why worry what other people think.

I know its hard but try not to let people's comments upset you. You know who your son's dad is, nothing else matters.

If you want to chat send me a message.

Julie x

Geanine - posted on 06/06/2011

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He looks mixed to me! Tell them to shut up firmly!! Stick up for yourself. What does it matter?

[deleted account]

no. some kids look more mixed than others. mine looked white until he was about 8 months, and it wasn't until about a year that he looked more mixed. he's still pretty light though, and he has red hair and it's curly but soft. my friend has a son whose mixed though and he's tan but has soft, brown hair and white features. it just depends. have you ever asked your family how they would feel if you asked them that question. they might shut tp about it

Jennifer - posted on 06/05/2011

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I have the same problem...my kids are mixed and they do not look it...we get stares all the time. My kids take after me with complexion and hair. They do have my husbands body shape and lips eyes and nose. I get tired of hearing how the look white but I don't want them ever getting a complex about how they look. I feel they look how God intended them to look. Look at Mariah Carey she is half black and doesn't look it. You are not alone out there so don't feel bad just be happy he has good hair and you are blessed with a beautiful child.

Haley - posted on 06/05/2011

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thankyou yall, yall have really been helpful. I have heard the fingertip thing but my son lol has to color at the tip only the color hes at right now lol. Im really going to just sit down with my family and tell them, "look, im sick of this bullshit, either you just shut your mouth and accept him as he is or ill just take him out of your life because he will not be around yall if yall can talk all these hurtful things. So in that case what is it going to be?"



Hopefully the open there ears and listen to what im saying because i really dont want to takw him away from family but im his mother and i will protect him and im not going to let them talk about him like that adn then he knows what their all saying. its at the final point and its either my way or the highway....



Thanks again yall, yall really have made me see that im not the only one that has a mixed child with no pigment lol....im so appreciative!

Jane - posted on 06/05/2011

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@Jill - Yes, I have heard about telling what a child's color will be by looking at the area around the fingernail. I have also heard that the inside of the ear is a good predictor, too. Certainly it held true for my two. Both my kids were born with white skin and straight black hair. My daughter (who now has white skin, blond and curly hair, and green eyes) had no pigment there. My son (caramel skin, dark brown and nappy hair, dark brown eyes) was born with a blush of brown pigment at the base of his nails and also inside the outer flap of his ears. His color came in during his first year of life, so he was brown by the time he was 6 months old. His sister's color never came in at all.

Mindi - posted on 06/05/2011

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I have a friend who is white and her ex husband is black. They have 5 kids together. The oldest two look completely white, the girl even has blonde hair like her mom. The middle two kids look mixed and the baby looks completely black. She is almost as dark as her dad. You would never guess she had a white mom.

I have a son who is half white, half mexican and he is darker than his dad. He looks full mexican.

With mixe race kids, you never can tell what skin tone, or hair texture they will have. My sister is expecting a mixed (white/black) baby girl in August and I am so excited to see what she is going to look like. (I'm hoping for olive skin and her momma's blue eyes)

In the end tho, it really doesn't matter and those busy bodies need to be told to mind their own business.

[deleted account]

The answer is to stop worrying. Ask the people who are questioning why does it matter to them so much. If your partner is questioning because of those jerks, get a paternity test done.

Someone said that features change as a child ages and that's true! I'm half Japanese and half scandinavian (dark hair and blue eyed). Pictures of me as a baby are obviously an Asian mixed child with the almond shaped eyes and olive skin. As I grew older, my eyes started rounding out and in my 20s I was almost paper white because I didn't go into the sun (not without sunscreen anyway). Now, I have a slightly tanned/olive skin and while I don't have total round eye, I don't have Asiatic eyes either, so people NEVER pick that I'm half Asian until I mention it.

As an adult, I've been mistaken for everything EXCEPT Asian. Even had one old lady argue with me in the grocery store, telling me I wasn't Asian.

My boys are therefore, 1/4 Japanese, with a mother who has black hair and brown eyes (my only 'typically asian' features)... They both have blond hair, fair skin (one with a little more colour than the other) and one's bright blue eyed (think Paul Newman eyes) while his younger brother has hazel eyes. My husband is your typical white Australian of English and Irish ancestry with light brown hair and dark blue eyes.

You never know what's in your blood, historically speaking. Who's genes are going to be stronger... Who the kid is going to look like. It shouldn't matter either.

Did you know that there are full aboriginals (who are typically black) with fair skin and blond hair? So skin colour comes in a variety of shades amongst different ethnic groups, because of that unknown history.

JILL - posted on 06/04/2011

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A FAMILY MEMBER SAID SHE CAN TELL MY KIDS ARE MIXED "CUZ OF THAT HAIR" ! I'M GLAD SHE HAS A CHILD WITH CURLS EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESN'T LIKE CURLS LOL

JILL - posted on 06/04/2011

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HAS ANYONE HEARD THE COLOR OF SKIN CAN BE DETERMINED BY THE SKIN BY THE BABY'S CUTICLES ?

JILL - posted on 06/04/2011

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MY 2 MONTH OLD (SAME FATHER OF MY 2 OTHER GIRLS) IS SOOOOO WHITE I'M STARTING TO WONDER IF SHE HAS A SKIN DISORDER. HER SISTERS ARE WHITE GIRLS ALSO BUT SHE'S GHOSTLY. HAVE YOU ASKED THE DR ABOUT YOUR BABY ?

Tah - posted on 06/04/2011

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I wouldn't be justifying anything to people...when they start talking do the Austin power on them...Zip...zip...zip it real good...zi...zi....zip....theyll Stop talking if you do that...also try these



Talk to the hand..with your hand in their faces



When they start talking let your head fall on the table and start snoring, and every time sometimes does bring it up, just let your head drop onto your chest and snore, then say sorry, what were you saying..they will stop...

Amanda - posted on 06/04/2011

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My sons are white looking and we call them white bread.. why is everyone making such a big deal about it.... they need to get over it... who cares that ur kid is white skinned... they are going to give him a complex over something that shouldn't matter... my kids joke now about them looking like white boys..they don't care cuz we don't care.. it is who they are...

[deleted account]

Genes.... My high school english teacher had faternal twin girls. One had dark skin the other was very pale.

I got something like that with my daughter and her eyes. They would look at me and my husband who both have brown eyes (mine are almost black, my husband is more auburn) and ask if he was the father. My daughter has hazel eyes. So at that point her eyes were still fairly blue. She's just 18 months and her eyes have finally settled on a color. I swear we would still get comments if it wasn't for the fact she looks soooo much like him.

For that I point out that grandpa has blue eyes.

One of my husband's co-worker's was white as white, but both parents and grandparents were black. Somewhere down the line there was caucasian blood, and it somehow all landed on her.

Sandy - posted on 06/04/2011

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My oldest son was a tow head- very blond if not white hair. Everyone always asked where in the world he got his hair. I found the most effective answer was "The Milkman"

Christel - posted on 06/04/2011

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I am sorry you have to go through this but your son will darken up when he plays in sun! My friends son is mixed too and he was very fair at one and now he is four years old and is getting darker everytime I see him and his hair was not curly at the age of one but now he has many curls to curlier. My SIL children are mixed too and they look like they are mexican and not black! My SIL is blue eyes and blonde hair and white! Her kids have curly hair but not like real black hair! but if you real look they have some features in the jaw line that people could tell they are mixed!

Karli - posted on 06/04/2011

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I have 2 cousins, they are sisters. Their father is Black and mother is blond haired/blue eyes, very fair. Their first has dark features, dark brown hair but straight and olive skin, dark brown eyes. Her sister is blond hair/blue eyes and fair like her mother. I wouldn't worry so much about what others think, the only important opinions are yours and your man's, everyone else can stuff it!!!

Danielle - posted on 06/04/2011

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I agree - why does it matter? What is your reason for proving that he is mixed??

Keisha - posted on 06/04/2011

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You should not even care what people say. It's your child, you know who the father is and that's all that should matter. Don't be stressed by what people think because it will bring you down and you have a child to raise. I would continue to smile in their face and think nothing of it. Keep your head up. Don't engage in stupidity.

Constance - posted on 06/03/2011

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Haley, This is such a taboo thing on a talk show, but I had Maury on one day and it was a paternity show. A woman had brought her husband on to prove their third child was his. His skin was very dark and she had blond hair blue eyes. The first two looked just like him and #3 came ou as white as mommy with straight blond hair and big blue eyes. Of course he had his resevations and insisted she had an affair white a white guy. She told him when the results came back then he had to kiss her ass because he was his and she would never sleep with a white guy. Everyone was shocked cause he was the father. It doesn't happen very often but recessive genes do take over. People are nieve when it comes to appearance I think people are fools to judge basised on looks alone. I hate when I hear a guy say that baby isn't mine because he doesn't lok like me. Well I have 4 children and none of them looked like my husband for the first 5 years. Tell people to stop judging so much. Unless his father questions it then tell otherr people to back off. He does half half of your genes too.

Takuariki - posted on 06/03/2011

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Hi, I'm of islander background and my partner is white. Presto.....our son is mixed with white skin. My son is now four, but his whole first year of life, i was constantly getting comments from strangers implying i was the babysitter/nanny! I never let it get to me because i knew he was mine! Take it as a compliment i say, i mean your genes turned out stronger! My son got my eyes, but he's his own person, just the fact that my partner and I managed to pop out a beauty makes us happy lol, i'm sure every parent feels exactly the same way about their kids too :)

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 06/03/2011

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Im sorry that you are going thru that, I know how you feel...I really do.
but keep in mind he might change...as far as his coloring goes...maybe..
my son is 14months also, but he looks a lot like his father who is Korean.
you just have to let your family know that when it comes to mixed kids of races with different skin pigments ANYTHING is possible and i mean ANYTHING, the combanations are endless as how they can be born looking, and grow up to look.
tell them if they dont believe you go "Google" it, no joke.
my son has very slanted eyes, silky curly hair, same skin tone as his father...BUT he may just get darker, or stay the same you never know.
So just know your not alone =)))

Jane - posted on 06/03/2011

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My kids are both mixed, black and white. One is caramel colored with brown eyes and brown nappy hair. The other is white skinned with blond, curly hair and green eyes. An anthropologist can tell that both kids are mixed because my daughter has African skeletal features. But the average person cannot.

Variety happens! One reason is that there are very few African-Americans that do not have at least a touch of white or Native American ancestry. These genes tend to be recessive but they can be expressed when the other parent is white and has the same recessive genes.

Your family and friends need to back off. You and the dad know that the child is yours and his, so tell them that you do NOT appreciate them assuming that you slept around.

Toni - posted on 06/03/2011

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He's so lovely, please don't let anyone judge you or your son. He is so handsome no matter how mixed he may or may not look. Tell them to watch their mouths they are talking about your baby.

Rosie - posted on 06/03/2011

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i'm sure it would be annoying, but you know what? they can suck it. you both know who his father is, why sweat over other peoples idiocy?

if it's any help my neighbors son (black) has 4 different children with 4 different white women. 3 of his children definitely have black features, one of his children looks so white it's unreal. blonde hair blue eyes, light light skin, but paternity tests prove he is his father. it just happens sometimes. it just makes your child unique. :)

Karla - posted on 06/03/2011

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Hiya, I just joined this group, but I feel I can offer some perspective. My son is 1/2 Vietnamese. I am white and it IS a big deal if we go into areas where there are many asians around. I get the "looks" and such. I also happen to know a bit of the language, so I do pick up some of the things said. Our family is great and has never been ukind about anything like this. My reply to anyone who overtly says anything has been something like, "Oh, I wasn't aware there were aliens amongst us, I just thought we all were of the HUMAN race...." That usually shuts them right down. I usually act genuinely surprised. And being flabbergasted on their part is a great and gentle way to deter further "speculating."

Lovemiester2 - posted on 06/02/2011

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dont worry ,my family is the same we have two hansome young black men that are with white women . both men have blue eyes blond hair children. If your family is worried than a simple blood test would do. I don't think your family an friends should be so nagitive I hope your son is being loved and not juged by these people.

Suki - posted on 06/02/2011

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hahah my kids are white olive skinned like yours...it will be alright apparently they dont quite understand how sometimes the less dominant genes come out. dont worry about them, they sound like they are trying to cause controversy.

Mrs. - posted on 06/02/2011

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Why do people feel the need to stick their asses into something like this? Don't stress. If you and the baby daddy know he's yours, the rest of the world will eventually just tow the line. If you or the baby daddy aren't sure, simple swab will shut down the doubt and the wagging tongues.

I seriously doubt you don't know though. You kid is healthy and beautiful...beyond that, who cares?

[deleted account]

Bottom line... WHO CARES??? In your heart and mind you know who the father is. Let people think what they do. Just remember, Those who matter dont mind, those who mind, dont matter.

Wendy - posted on 06/02/2011

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i dont understand why this matters to anybody.........he is happy healthy and loved thats all that matters i have a blonde daughter and a brunette daughter both my ex and i are brunette how did i get a blonde one....lol who cares.....whats the differance...enjoy your son.....not being disrespectful here just pointing out that it matters not......

Kandy - posted on 06/02/2011

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Im white my children are mixed (daddys black). I also have 2 grandchildren. My grandson looks exactly like my son only lighter. My granddaughter is chocolate with black curly hair. but none of that matters ... when i look at them all i see is love. You need to let your family (or inlaws or who ever is questioning your sons paternity) know that this questioning needs to stop now, your son sounds like hes too small to understand whats going on now but one day he will understand, so if they cant see the love that you and your husband have for each other that created this life then they have no business being around that child. its just that simple.... love and accept us for who we are and not for what color we may or may not be...

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