My son is scared to sleep in his room. What can I do?

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Charity - posted on 03/31/2009

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My son was doing the same thing. He always had monkey's that were scaring him in his room then the next week they were bears and so on.  He say's he see them also in the corner of the room this was seperation from us. What we did was make a can of fake spray and mark it the bad animal go away spray and everytime he say's he see them we pull out the spray and they go away and he now sleeps in his room he just turned 3.  See if that works. I wouldn't worry about it kids just have over active imaginations. 

Darlene - posted on 03/25/2009

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I say redecorate with him. No time to read all the replies but maybe he needs a new environment. to rid whatever it is he doesn't  like. IKEA has safe lights he can leave on - set them up hight.  Let him pick the colors, paint, anything he likes. It doesnt' matter if it matches etc. I got over that long ago!  The time will come for that - maybe make suggestions on things you can work with later.



Eventually it will work out - don't despair. :)



 

Hope - posted on 04/13/2011

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I agree with Christina. My son also had night mares would wake up crying. He frantically would look about the room when I held him. My husband and I would pray over him and ask God to give him good dreams and to protect him from evil. We also installed a night light. Every night we pray over him before he goes to sleep and he hasn't had the night mares since. You might want to call a pastor or church leader for prayers of specific verses to pray over your baby. I hope you and your little one get some rest soon. God bless you.

Christina - posted on 03/25/2009

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hi, i know this is a personal question, but maybe have the a church leader or people you know pray for him. I had a Christian friend whose son was having nightmares and really scared, and they had the room blessed and would play bible songs while they slept and never had a problem after that. 

[deleted account]

Hi, We had a problem just like this with my Brother (I'm a fair bit older than him) and we used a Impluse (Deoderant can) and made our own "Monster Repellent". Every night we lightly sprayed his room while he was brushing his teeth and he started sleeping in his own bed from then on............ In the end he was the one spraying his room before brushing his teeth, outs a fun twist on it. Hope this helps out.

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Zarilia - posted on 06/19/2011

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why my son is scred to sleep he room he age 8
he ask to put my photo he room why my son he is so scared sleep he room?

Sharon - posted on 03/25/2009

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If he has been sleeping with you why not start out by sleeping in his room with him. Then move from his bed to a mattress on the floor next to his bed. Then the mattress you sleep in gets further and further away. When you sleep in his room you could tell him in the morning that he makes smells in the night and that "diamond" hates smells and said it was going to go away. Sounds silly but I don't know any kids who think farts aren't funny!

Darlene - posted on 03/25/2009

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Yes, we also had a neighbour who's kids had grown, who gave us a stuffed animal with a long tail. We gave it a a name and  taught her to wave the tail and anythiing she was afraid of would disappear.

Terry - posted on 03/25/2009

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I had a lot of success with a tent in the bedroom. My son felt more secure in the tent than his bed. Eventually, I bought a "bed tent" that fit over a twin-size mattress. I know it's weird, but it worked for us.

Megyn - posted on 03/25/2009

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I went thru the same thing with my son, now 8 when he was about 3-4 years. we got him a dream catcher which helped. But the best thing I did was give him a radio in his room, this has worked soo well and I guess it stops the imagination going into overdrive when they r alone in their room, and they don't feel so alone with other voices in the room. Both music and talkback helps.

Tammy - posted on 03/25/2009

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Hi :) I had a problem when my son started sleeping in his own bed. He kept seeing shadows and didnt want to go into his room at all. I Collect dragon figurines and i found a wall plaque at the shops so i bought it and hung it in his room and told him it was mummys special dragon and while it was there nothing would hurt him because mummys special dragon would frighten them away! Kalib is now 8 and we recently moved his new room didnt have a nail up so i told him i would put it up soon and he said it was okay cause he was big enough that they wouldnt try and scare him anymore so it took a few years but i never had any problems afterward. i hope this helps a little bit :)

Maria - posted on 03/25/2009

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We bought a bottle of "Monster Spray" and let the kids spray it. It was really just air freshner but it worked on all 4 kids.

Lynn - posted on 03/25/2009

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Long ago in a far away memory......My son was afraid of "Monsters" in his room at night. (I think his older brother introduced them.) I gave him a Monster chaser wand (a colorful duster) to clear the monsters from his room before bed. Then I gave both boys instructions on what they could NOT dream about. I would tell them to absolutely NOT dream about a purple cow in a tutu dancing with a red fish with suspenders and a top hat. Or the flying elephant with green dots on his trunk. The animals got more fanciful and more colorful as the boys added their imaginary friends. It got to be a ritual for them to ask me what they were banned from dreaming about at night if I would "forget" to tell them. Of course both of my boys would be mortified if they found out that I told about this as they are grown with wives now. Hope this helps!

Erika - posted on 03/25/2009

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How old is he? I find you have to start young with kids. So that they dont know any better... If he is stilll a baby, just put him in his crib and leave him. Maybe put some soothing music on and stay with him till hes settled. If he cries, but nothing is really wrong, just let him be. But if hes older, Im not sure what to do? Just explain hes a big boy and big boys sleep in their room. Music, night lights, a favourite toy to soothe him. Good luck!

L - posted on 03/24/2009

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This is silly, but when I was very young and seeing shadows that looked like monsters, my parents bought me a daffy duck nightlight. They told me it was a special light and that if any monsters came he would protect me. Everytime that I would wake up in the middle of the night - SCARED- I would look at donald and know that he was protecting me. It worked for me.

Kay - posted on 03/24/2009

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ask him,,when he's ready..he'll tell you;and if it's because,he's scared,,ask him to help you spray his room out ,with this will ,send it away,magic spray..[air freshner,of cause].

Brandy - posted on 03/24/2009

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My 3 yr old has a vivid imagination as well, esp. at bedtime. He's not so much scared as he just wants to be with mommy and daddy. He'll say there are monsters or rhinos or whatever. I just tell him that they are not allowed in his room and they know that. And IF they were to come in daddy would put them outside. He'll hear the racoons wrestling on the roof once in a while and we've made a joke of it now. He'll get "upset" and want to tell them to go to sleep.

Allison - posted on 03/24/2009

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I couldnt get my son to sleep in his room...he does now. I had to get him his own special pillow, stuffed animal (a dog one) and put stars on his ceiling. That worked pretty great. Also, i've heard getting a spray bottle and putting water in it (or use febreeze or something) and call it monster spay and to add that to their night time routine and its supposed to help... haven't had to try it yet.

User - posted on 03/24/2009

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try fine out y he is scard to sleep in his room. have you tryed a night light it worked will whit may boy when te was small. we still leve the ligth on for him and he 13

Shermaine - posted on 03/24/2009

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I am going through the same thing right now with two of my children.  My three year old is afraid of everything.  We always read the Bible and pray together.  Recently I added a night light.  That works for her.  My son however is two and even thou I put a night light, he still gets up.  We just walk him back to his room and explain that it's bed time.  In the beginning of all this he would get up multiple times.  I spent a few nights in there with him singing and praying until he fell asleep.  That has helped.  He doesn't get up as  frequent as before.  I know that this is not an overnight remedy.  It will take time.  

Rachel - posted on 03/24/2009

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James(now 5)....thinks that there are Monsters, Ghosts, Alligators, Crocadiles, etc.  I always ask him their names, and he tells me their names, he thinks they are scary til we give them names....But, he always has a night light(Lightning McQueen)--it changes colors, and it seems to sooth him...Always a good thing to have  a LOVEY, i.e. James cannot go to bed without his "Row Row Blankie" or his new Rot Wiler stuffed dog "Precious"...hope this helps you!

Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2009

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We have a stuffed animal that sleeps beside my daughter to protect her and we have her voice her fears and anxieties about sleeping by herself and I put them in my hands and when she finishes stating them we throw them out the window.

Lori - posted on 03/24/2009

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my daughter went thru something similar with "monsters" tho ... we got a bottle of Febreeze, put a Monster-b-Gone label on it (I made it on my computer) and she sprayed her room  whenever she felt "nervous" about other inhabitants.  Worked like a charm!



 

Di - posted on 03/24/2009

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maybe you could try giving him a pillow from your bed. or a favorite toy. one of my nieces had monster spray. it was just air freshener but she believed it worked.

Emily - posted on 03/23/2009

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Quoting Petra:

Hi, I heard about a great tip if he is scared of 'monsters' of something. Go to the Exitement store (or any other shop) and buy an empty spray bottle. Fill it with water, and decorate the bottle as special MONSTER SPRAY. Tell him to spray when he gets scared. Leave a torch maybe. I always leave the passage light on too. Buy him a special teddy or soft toy to look after him or to scare 'them' away. Good luck.


This works when my daughter is scared.

Jennifer - posted on 03/23/2009

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We helped our little ones by giving them a special stuffed animal that they loved. For our oldest he has Spiderman and Superman. Our youngest loves Bob the Builder. They also have their baby blankets still. We also put an adjustable night light in their rooms. Our boys have also been used to sleeping with music playing in their rooms just for the begining part of night time. If your are a religious person you can also emphasis the power of bed time prayers. My boys seem to be reassured when you tell them that God and his angels are watching over them.

Petra - posted on 03/23/2009

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Hi, I heard about a great tip if he is scared of 'monsters' of something. Go to the Exitement store (or any other shop) and buy an empty spray bottle. Fill it with water, and decorate the bottle as special MONSTER SPRAY. Tell him to spray when he gets scared. Leave a torch maybe. I always leave the passage light on too. Buy him a special teddy or soft toy to look after him or to scare 'them' away. Good luck.

Shirley - posted on 03/22/2009

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I've been successful in keeping my son his room all night as well as my daughter.. I bought a special lamp for my daughter and a stuffed dora for her 2 cuddle with every night.. she's 2. For my son, i realized that the only way he would fall asleep was by watching t.v. so I finally gave in and decided to put a t.v in his room and a v.c.r. and some movies. now every night i turn the lamp on for my daughter and she off, and i put a movie in for my son and he's ok for the night. if u do decide to do the t.v, only allow him 2 watch movies at bed time. that way he wil always be more then happy to go 2 his room when you say "bedtime!"

Kim - posted on 03/22/2009

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With my son we would talk about why his room is so special (how we painted it, decorated it, the things he has around his room are all for him and talk about it being special and safe), leaving the door slightly ajar and reassuring that you'll be just outside the door but he must not get out of bed or it gets closed.  A new doona cover recenlty distracted our daughter enough to break her latest getting to sleep issue.  Alternatively, if you have monsters try some anti-monster spray (febreeze)

User - posted on 03/22/2009

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When my godson was 2 1/2 he started saying there were monsters in his room. I used to spray Lysol in his room and tell him it was "Monster Spray" and that monsters were afraid of it. It worked for him and then for my son and my daughter when they were preschool age. Since he is not calling them monsters, I wouldn't use the term either, call it "shadow repellant" or something. I love the idea of the "bad dream shirt" , I have also used the "Mommy Magic love circle" nothing bad can get through the circle, and it's a moving shield that goes with them if they have to go to the bathroom.
If you are just starting to put him to bed in his own room, I wouldn't push him too hard at first. More play time in his room, with you and dad and maybe other children, so he starts thinking of it as HIS room instead of the place he gets banished to at night
Good luck

Marie - posted on 03/22/2009

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Just before bed, take his hand and go around the room opening every drawer and look under all beds and furniture and look behind the curtins to that he can see that there is nothing to be afraid of, incase it's the natorious monster. And then put a bright enough night lite and keep the door cracked open. That might help!

Kris - posted on 03/22/2009

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Absolutly Heather, I have been doing that with my Son for over 6 months, Its hard especially with a 6 month old as well as I could be getting up 4-5 times a night, but I know its gonna payoff and one night I will get a perfect nights sleep!!lol

Heather - posted on 03/22/2009

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Hi folks -



This seems like the hardest thing to do, but honestly the mom who mentioned taking them back to their beds has it right.



The trick to making this work is to do it EVERY time. Just be calm, assure them they're ok, and take them back to bed. You can sit with them near the bed for a bit in the beginning, then move the chair to the doorway. Grab a book if you need to, but don't engage in any activity. Slowly you can move the chair outside the door, and work your way back to your own room over a few days.



It's a pain in the arse, but here's the real truth. Nothing about parenting is easy, and in the long run the most effective way to deal with things is head on, do it the way you want the first time, and stick to it. Consistancy will far outweigh tricks or techniques.



If you mean it, stick to it, and your kids will learn. Cheers!

Kris - posted on 03/22/2009

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Kay, when you are sitting beside Zayne's bed are you talking to him or anything?

Kay - posted on 03/22/2009

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hi



i'm having the same issue with my son Zayne he's 4 byrs old and still refuses to sleep in there...we have tried to scaring the ghost away we have put night lites in his room, glow stars on the room.but we have still got the same issue..at the moment we are sitting beside the bed till he goes off



 

Allison - posted on 03/22/2009

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Hi Arpasia, I have not personally had to deal with a child beeing scared to sleep in their own room, but I read an article once that suggest you fill a spray bottle with water and a drop of food colouring and tell you child that the spray keeps away what ever is scaring them. You and the child then have to spray the room every night before he goes to bed...have no idea if this will be of a help to you, but it popped into my head when I read your post. Best wishes to you and your family :)

Kris - posted on 03/22/2009

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I know it sounds awful but try shutting their Bedroom door, Open it when your going to bed and if you feel them getting into bed with you, take them back to their bed and explain that its time to sleep in their own bed now as they are getting bigger. Even now my 4 yo tried to get into bed with us, But I always put him back in his own bed when I feel him getting in. Kids like routine so if they are used to sleeping with mum its a routine you just have to find that special something to break it or change it. Good luck and I hope you find success!

Jennifer - posted on 03/22/2009

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Arpasia,

My son is 4 1/2 & I am going through the same thing. I know that it is difficult, but it is sooo much better for them in the long run. My son has only been sleeping in his bed for 8 consecutive days now, but he sleeps sounder & is much better behaved during the day because of it. He tells me that he see's "shadows" that say his name, but than imediately follows the statement with asking if he can come & sleep with me. I believe it is just his little overactive imagination, but I will tell you that the more you react to any tantrums or crying the more they will feel insecure about being alone in his own room. I went out & got him a dream catcher & told him that if there were any bad dreams in his room that it would catch it, then in the morning we shake the bad dreams out! (kinda like the shirt above) This too shall pass... stick to your guns, I wish i would have done it a long time ago!

Sherri - posted on 03/22/2009

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With my 6-year-old son and 4 1/2-year-old daughter, they don't like to sleep in their rooms because they don't like to sleep alone.  I have no idea how to handle it.  I've tried some of the ideas posted.  If my daughter falls asleep in the livng room and I put her in her bed, she'll track me down in the middle of the night even if one of her brothers is in the room with her.  It is difficult when you can't convince them that there is nothing to be afraid of.  I am going to try the night light though.

Arpasia - posted on 03/22/2009

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Interesting. I will try anything. He's jsut starting to sleep in his own room. His room has always been fully furnished but he always slept in the bed with me. He slept in his crib maybe twice and not for long. Now that he's potty trained and going on 3, I figuered id'e tackle the sleeping alone thing. It's not going well at all.

Angie - posted on 03/22/2009

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3 year olds all have a wild imagination stage. That is the same age that mine went thru this. Just try my idea and see if it works.

You also should pray with him and let him ask God to take away all of his fears and anxieties.

Angie - posted on 03/22/2009

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Arpasia,

I understand he is imagining someone in his room because kids all go thru this. I have 3 and all have done this. The shirt really does work. It gives them some piece of you with them and tell him it will scare away this person/ or thing that is frightening him away and keep him safe just like if he is in the room with you.

Kris - posted on 03/22/2009

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Sounds like its more of a separation issue. How long has he been sleeping in his own room?

Arpasia - posted on 03/22/2009

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When i ask him to show me. He points to a far wall, or the ceiling. Or the masks that hang on my others wall.

Arpasia - posted on 03/22/2009

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He is afraid of an someone or something that i can't see. His name is "Diamond". I'm having trouble dealing with that because i wanna be able to protect him. But i'm not sure what exactly is scaring him.

Angie - posted on 03/22/2009

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when my kids were little and were affraid to sleep in thier room my husband gave them a shirt of his and called a bad dream shirt. He told them that it would ward off any bad dreams and would help him feel close to him. It worked and they all slept through the night. If that doesn't work you can always do the Super Nanny way and do the seperation technique. Watch any episode and you can see how to do it. It also works really well. But I never had to do that because my kids always did well with the bad dream shirt.

Kris - posted on 03/22/2009

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My son was the same, Ask him why it is scary, My son was affraid of Possums on our Roof (im Australian) I made it a game and told him that they were playing chasy or cops and robbers. So if he heard the possums at night, the next day we would play hide and seek. It worked a charm, so long as you dont mind playing hide and seek for a hour or more!! lol If your Son is much younger than my 4 year old and its just the darkness he is afraid of, I would try a nightlight. you can get many sorts some with Winnie the Pooh and other characters on them! Hope this Helps

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