my son is three and has no interest in using the potty. HELP!

Bonnie - posted on 04/27/2010 ( 82 moms have responded )

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ive tried siting him on the potty with a book, or in front of the tv, or in front of the fish tank, whatever entertains him, he will sit there for a good period of time but not do anything. he doesnt show any interest in using the potty. if anyone has any tips or tricks please help me.

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Angie - posted on 04/29/2010

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Please do not worry. Kids will potty train when ready. You cannot force them. I have a 3-1/2 yr old who has no interest what so ever, she will not even sit on the potty. She use to just sit there but she regressed some. I've heard that kids know when they are ready. If you push them, it's more likely you'll have a bed wetter. Good luck!! Trust me you are not the only one out there.

Angela - posted on 04/29/2010

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Make a game out of it. Put some cherieos in the toliet and see if he can hit one. It worked for my son.

Sarah - posted on 04/29/2010

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Make sure he drinks a lot, so he has plenty of opportunity to practise! Of course he'll have accidents, but hopefully when he realises he doesn't like getting wet, he'll start to use the potty or toilet. Good luck!

Joyce - posted on 04/28/2010

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My advice to you is to stop stressing about it. My son will be 4 in September and we are still having this problem. He will sit on the toilette if I take him but nothing happens. He won't tell us when he is ready until it is too late. He hides away and poos in his pants. My doctor and teacher both say - Don't worry, be patient as it is quite common for little boys. He wilL get it E-V-E-N-T-U-A-L-Y.

Chloie - posted on 04/28/2010

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just put him and pants n tell him he doesnt use nappies anymore, make him change himself he;'ll get sick of being wet i did it with my son he's 2 n a little bit, he got the hang of it preety quick n now hes toilet trained just be strong ;)

[deleted account]

Boys tend to learn later than girls. I have 3 sons. They were all closer to 4 when they finally mastered the toilet. Give him time he is still young. BTW bed wetting is also common among boys and hereditary. My 12 year-old was 9 before he stopped wearing pull-ups and my 4 year-old is still in them.

Lorrielyn - posted on 04/28/2010

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for me i usually set wit my daughter until she pee or poo even if we are in the washroom for hours and hours.. i read to her and talk to her while we are in the washroom..

Pippa - posted on 04/28/2010

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Read "Toddler Taming" by Dr Christopher Green. It's a great and easy read, which you can dip into whichever issue you're having at any point in time throughout the early years. Sound and practical advice from an experienced pediatrician and father, always with the overriding advice to listen to your own heart. His years of being a Doc have taught him to listen to the parents... (his other book "Babies" was also brilliant!).

Melissa - posted on 04/28/2010

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My 2 1/2 yr old little girl would use the toilet if I put her on it, but she wouldn't tell me when she had to go. We bought her real underwear and told her when she used the toilet she could wear them (and they had her favorite- dora, on them) Her daddy is deployed right now so I also told her that her daddy would be so proud when she told him when he got to call again and I think thats what really did it... 7 days accident free :)

Rebecca - posted on 04/28/2010

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Have you tried rewarding him when he does. My oldest son wanted to go to school and we told him he had to be wearing big boy pants before he could go. This helped motivate him to start going. With my youngest he wanted to be like Daddy so he started going to the bathroom and using potty chair when his daddy went to the bathroom if his dad is comfortable with this. I used stickers with my niece I took her to the store and let her pick out the stickers and a set of princess big girl pants. She got to choose a sticker every time she went potty. She got one every time she told me she had to go even if she did not make it on time. Then after about 3 weeks of this she got one only when she made it on time. After another few weeks I let her start wearing the big girls then if she had an accident she had to take the princess panties off and wear a pull up and she hated loosing the princess panties so she tried real hard not to get them dirty so she could wear them all day.my other niece got balloons and stickers because she had no interest in panties but loved balloons and treats like cookies and suckers so these were her rewards and the system was similar to her sisters. I hope these ideas help

[deleted account]

I never used a potty chair with any of my five children. Potty training is a lesson in persistence and once you begin don't go back to the diapers. Dedicate two weeks to staying close to home and put them on the toilet every half hour. Give lots of fluids daytime to make lots of pee and then no more fluids about two hours before bed or you will have night accidents. I have seen children getting older and older before being trained and I think that often it is the parents who are busy and don't want to take the time and persistence that learning this new skill takes. Kids do what we expect if we don't keep changing the rules.

Megan - posted on 04/28/2010

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Ok so I stopped reading these posts at the one where they said they may have autism. I can not believe someone would say that. Sure kids with autism do have some trouble in areas of life but there are loads of kids that dont have autism and have trouble using the toilet. Especially boys.
Let me reassure you that it will get better. My son, who for the FIRST time used the toilet when he was 8. Yes thats right 8. And that was only to wee. The rest came about 6 months later. And let me tell you that he does not ace autism. Howver he does or did hae severe anxiety and has now overcome selective mutism. It was a bloody hard road that involved a 3 nght stay in hospital with a therapist but together as a family we did it. He is now 10 and even he cant believe what a big deal he made out of it. Now he can even laugh about it.
My first advice would be, RELAX. Dont stress over it. Your son wil pick up on this. And dont talk about it all the time especially infront of him.
The other thing is, boys dont wee as often as girls so give him HEAPS to drink and start sitting him on the potty with a nappy ON. So that he learns to sit to d a wee rather than stand. Also make sure he feels secure. ie, he isnt going to feel as if he is going to fall in the loo. Hope some of the tips help.

Samantha - posted on 04/28/2010

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im having the same problem. my son is 2 1/2 and he has pooped in the potty like 3 times but everytime i ask him if he needs to go he always says no. he acts like he is scared of it, however he will kinda play around with it and set his bear on it and say potty so he knows what its used for he just refuses to go....can anyone also help me?

[deleted account]

Our daughter (who will be 4 in Aug) is the same way. She has all the interest and skills needed and was almost trained at the end of last summer but ended up regressing completely after some upset to her routine (she started daycare). Over the last 6mos we've dealt with potty terror and abosulte refusal to ahve anything to do with training and potties. However she recently has started talking and talking about it and when she moved into her big girl (twin sized) bed she said that next she would learn to use the potty. That was 2 months ago *lol*



I recently talked with our dr and public health nurse and both assured me that this is perfectly normal for kids this age and that there is nothing wrong with her physically. We just need to back off and let her decide when it's time. They both said a pressured and stressed out preschooler no matter how ready won't train properly and would have regressions before finally relaxing into it.



So we've decided to call a full stop to attempting train her for now and have put away her small potty and seat for the big potty. We still have the seat visible to keep her thinking, answer her questions, have loads of panties that she picked out and have the ultimate reward waiting for once she's trained .. ballet lessons :o)



Please don't be too hard on yourself as he just doesn't sound ready for it yet. Let the issue relax and allow him to lead on this and I think you'll get a great surprise from your big boy when you aren't expecting it.

Stacey - posted on 04/28/2010

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I wouldn't worry too much. My daughter didn't use the potty until she was 4. It drove me nuts. The doctor kept telling me that she would use it when she was ready and that she wouldn't start school wearing diapers. Pretty much on her fourth birthday she started using the potty and we haven't had any problems.

Zureen - posted on 04/28/2010

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My oldest, now 5 showed no interest at all as well. He was potty trained around 3 years 2 months. I started before he was 3. I agree with some of the moms who said to use the grown up toilet and buy a seat. Daddy or any male modeling is a plus. When your son sits, turn on the faucet. That helps with boys my boys, especially when they say they don't have to go. When he starts to ask to stand and pee like daddy, teach him to aim by putting a piece of the toilet paper into to toilet and have him aim that! Works for us. I got the idea from a friend who has grown children. My son loved it. My second son was easier, he potty trained over Thanksgiving when 3 of his older boy cousins came for Thanksgiving weekend and so he was determined to be BIG boy too! Good luck Bonnie!

Kel - posted on 04/28/2010

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I had the same problem with my daughter. After trying many, many different things (some of which I see have been suggested) I ended up letting her run around the house without anything on below the waist. When she had an accident I did not get upset, but calmly made her clean it up. Explaining that it was her poop or pee and she was responsible for it. Then I let her know, in a positive and friendly voice, that if she used the potty she would not have anything to clean up.

Kim - posted on 04/28/2010

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I am having the same problem and he is scarred to death of the potty (both little and big potty).

Lisa - posted on 04/28/2010

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We tried to potty train our eldest when she was 2 1/2 & she got really upset, but a month later after not really mentioning it for a while we coincided potty training with her new bedroom & as she was a 'big girl' now she could wear big girl knickers which appealed to her more than the idea of the potty & within a week she was fully trained during the day. My youngest is now 2yr 8mth & we started in knickers about a month ago but she got upset with the idea of going & I spent about 2 days sitting with her every so often during the day & reassuring her that it was nothing to be scared of & by the 3rd day she wanted to show everyone what she could do! Little one will give you signs that he's ready & when he is try to spend as much time at home during the training so clothes/toilets are all to hand, you could also lay a nappy in the potty for the first few times as it may reassure him that worked for a friend of mine. Good luck.

[deleted account]

My son was the same way. He is almost 4 1/2 years old and is now pretty much potty trained. I would try and he had no interest and would fight me. In the last month not only have I gotten him potty trained, but his 2 1/2 year old sister potty trained herself watching her brother. It has been great. Now all I have is the twins in diapers but I am hoping to get them trained within the next year. Don't push them. It will happen when they feel ready.

Amanda - posted on 04/28/2010

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Let him run naked in the house or use terry towel pants. That way when he wees he'll feel wet and hopefully not like it. You'll have some messes to clean up but that's part of it.

Natalie - posted on 04/28/2010

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I wouldn't worry too much. My son was 3 & 3 months before he showed any interest in the potty. Within a couple of weeks he was out of nappies completely during the day, even to go out. 6 months later he was out of nappies at night & we have not had one accident. I waited until Jackson was ready to start using the potty before I pushed him to & it really didn't take too long at all. I left ours next to the bath so that he could use it before he got in the bath & then when he was used to that I moved it out into the loungerooom where I could keep an eye on him. Good luck. Just let him do it when he is ready, but don't let him sit there if he's not doing anything. Show him it's not a toy, but a toilet!!

[deleted account]

I JUST got my 3 1/2 year old son trained. He, too, showed zero interest, and used to scream and cry if we tried to get him to sit there. We tried off and on since he had just turned 3, and it took us 6 solid months. He is now almost 4. All I can say is if and when he DOES go in the potty, make it a celebration like no other. We did high fives, called him the "Potty Master", gave him tons of kissies and hugs, did all matter of jumping up and down - you get the picture. He wanted to see that all again so bad, he'd go back and do it again and again, to the point where he'd turn around and look at us while he was going to make sure we were going to do it! Good luck - all kids are different - you know what will make yours happy, go for it.

Krista - posted on 04/28/2010

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I've just begun potty training my son. Yesterday was day 2........he peed 7 times.

I'll give you the trick that worked for me. Put his feet in a bowl of warm water. My son LOVES it and it stimulates him to go pee. Also an added plus, he'll sit there forever with his feet in the water.

Suzy - posted on 04/28/2010

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I can totally relate. My 3 year-old son is the EXACT same way. He has even declared that he is NOT going to use the toilet. We have already tried all kinds of tricks. They often bring him to the bathroom at pre-school, but he's only "gone" there once.

Kirsty - posted on 04/28/2010

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try using the toilet rather than the potty, show him the grown ups use it, and he might try it too. Again, as above, have a step stool handy in bathroom, so he gets used to doing it himself. I have a 3 yr old girl, and we found using the loo easier than the potty, but she had to really want to try, and we had to be very determined. Also, we ditched the nappies during the day, so she had no excuse but to use the loo, otherwise, it was wet knickers and a wet bum!! I havnt got any advice on sorting his aim out though!! haha, but will look back to this post in a few years, when my boy is ready to be toilet trained to see what advice people have!! :) Good luck!!

Kim - posted on 04/27/2010

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My husband and I did our child on a weekend. We started the minute she woke up. Made her go potty. Put panties on her and put her on the potty every 30 minutes. Every time she went we gave her 4 smarties. She had 3 accidents over the weekend and by Monday she was trained. My daughter hated the training potty,so we got a toilet seat and step for her to use. Don't show any frustration and be positive not negative this can get you opposite results. Lots of praise, sing songs with him while he is on the potty, read him a book. Good luck!!

Louise - posted on 04/27/2010

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Try showing your son that we all use the toilet and then buy a step and toilet seat for him. I never used a potty for any of my kids they went straight to the toilet. Don't use pull ups or nappies go sraight to pants. Take him to the toilet every half an hour until he wees and then every hour after that. Children do take longer to potty train now as they are to comfortable in pull ups as it takes the liquid away so they don't feel dirty. Just stick with the pants ans soon he will get fed up with being changed every hour and wil start to comply. Make sure you have plenty of clothes as this can take about three days! Stick with it once you start and you will find he does it automatically. Reward him for using the toilet and just ignore the accidents. It worked for me twice and I am about to train my 18 month daughter.

Rubi - posted on 04/27/2010

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my little girld did not to but i shoed her that if we all dont go all bellys hert n at the time i wode go il put her after so she dont fell alone!

Rubi - posted on 04/27/2010

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my little girld did not to but i shoed her that if we all dont go all bellys hert n at the time i wode go il put her after so she dont fell alone!

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