My son was bullied at school by his teacher

Denishia - posted on 01/26/2011

Wow! I am an army wife anf my hubby works for AFN ( we are in Germany) let them or your local newspaper know about it. How about the base commander. I would DEFINETLY put it out ther.

Miaesha - posted on 01/26/2011

As a former special ed teacher, parent of a child, and aspiring school administrator, this is unacceptable. The federal ESEA act guarantees that all students are allowed to have an education in the least restrictive environment. It sounds to me like the school is lazy by allowing this teacher to continue. Too often, kids with special needs are pushed aside by schools who don't have educators equipped to manage differentiation in their classrooms. This is not your son's fault. Ooooooh, I am so upset by this.

Miaesha - posted on 01/26/2011

If the system won't listen, I would file a civil case with the local police department. There is never a reason for a teacher to treat a child in this manner, let alone a child with a documented ADD/ADHD. Your son's civil right was violated. As a school administrator, I'd be reluctant to keep a teacher who lies to protect themselves from students. Dishonor and disrepesct are not traits we want our children learning rom their teachers. If you have the emails of other parents, I would email them and let them know what happen so they can encourage their children to speak out against such treatment.

Tine - posted on 01/26/2011

I actually think that you should go to the version of Child Protection in whatever country you are in. In Australia it would certainly count as child abuse, (I used to be a child protection worker) and at the very least that would rattle them. This man should be sacked immediately!
I don't know the laws in other countries, unfortunatley...

Donell - posted on 01/26/2011

go to USA.gov I have heard that you can write them questions and they will get back to you.

MARIA TERESA - posted on 01/26/2011

I will pray for you and for your son's predicament Yesenia. I believe in the power of prayer. If that is the only way I can help you.

Donell - posted on 01/26/2011

the navy has something called family advocacy program, where family goes if there is abuse in the home. but abuse is abuse no matter where it comes from they should be able to help.

Linda - posted on 01/26/2011

Oh my! I use to work for a non-profit organization that advocated for the rights of children with disabilities and education. Seek legal council and file lawsuit! This person does not need to be in the class room teaching any child!

Michelle - posted on 01/26/2011

Home education!? It's not fair for your son to be in that environment

Wendy - posted on 01/25/2011

Can you contact the newspaper or possibly a news station? I cannot believe this is not considered as child abuse!

Beth - posted on 01/25/2011

Hopefully you'll get more answers when you talk with a lawyer. This is abuse and no teacher is allowed to touch a child in any form. This is unexceptable and I would file a law suit against the school as well as the teacher. This teacher needs to be held accountable for his actions regardless if he's apologized or not. There's a good chance that your son isn't the first student that this has happened to. I'm glad that you are going to take futher action and stand up for your rights!! I will keep this situation and your family in my prayers.

Ellie - posted on 01/25/2011

If it's not a crime, it should be. Are they sure that it isn't physical abuse? If your child reported to his teacher that you duct taped his mouth for 45 minutes, wouldn't they consider that child abuse or even do an investigation? Do these people know about your sons condition? The sad thing about this is that a lot of times there is nothing that you can do. It's beyond frustrating because we know it's wrong and it's not addressed. I'm not sure how this works, but isn't there a military lawyer you can talk to? I guess I wasn't much help, but I have been through this type of thing when my oldest went to school. He has ADHD and it was very frustrating. I hope that things work out. From one sad mom to another.

Jasmine - posted on 01/25/2011

Oh my gosh!! How terrible that is not acceptable what thr hell was he thinking??! How old is he? Is there a way to change schools? I still remember to this day being bullied by my 2nd grade teacher Ms. Moodie. She use to make me stay after school every day, make me do work and bring it up to her, and then trow it away. I became a bully after that.

Jane - posted on 01/25/2011

I haven't read all the previous posts, but in at least one jurisdiction using duct tape on children was considered simple assault and endangering the welfare of children : http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.s...

Jean - posted on 01/25/2011

I think it is crazy. Any teacher that would do this to a child with problems does not deserve t be a teacher....What do they consider a crime ??? waiting until a child is seriously hurt or mentally abused by a so- called teacher.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/25/2011

Well since you are overseas I'm not sure what can be done. But I do know that in the USA it is against the law now to bully. I'm a school bus driver and it was in our training that bulling is now illegal. Not sure if this helps but I would also talk to some of the parents. I would want to know so I could protect my child.

Deanna - posted on 01/25/2011

I agree with you that this is rude and unprofessional. I would send a letter to your school board and ask that thier be an apology. Send a copy of your letter to your superintendent, principal and maybe even your teacher. Your MLA is another option. I know here we have a local news channel that looks into these incidences and forces them to do something about it. Just some ideas for you. Bullying is illegal. Whether by a teacher or a student.

Kate - posted on 01/25/2011

In my experience you will not get the result you want by taking your son out of the classroom. My best results are from teaching the teachers and trying to find their input and working with them, adding a finger of guilt for balance. Your child learns from being with peers in adversity as well as how to handle someone you have to work with and still show dignity and moxy

Donell - posted on 01/25/2011

Never mind I do not know if that would give the right attention. My husband is Navy so everyone I know and can talk to is navy. have you looked into an order of protection? where we are stationed (Japan) all or most of the cdh (child care home - home daycare) is also a place that kids can go when taken away from their family for abuse so they might be able to help out too. do you know where this teacher got his degree? you might want to call that state. have you talked to the head of the base? what evidence do you have (photos, witnesses, the letter.....)? just so it does not become a he said she said sort of thing.

Kristie - posted on 01/25/2011

Step one: call police; Step two: call Social Services; Step three: go to the school board meeting and tell them about it. They will be forced to take action against this "teachers" ridiculous behavior.

Donell - posted on 01/25/2011

If I may ask where are you stationed? what about calling the news back in the states? If this were to hit the news there, it would get a lot more attention.

Bettie - posted on 01/25/2011

If you want this to get around, and if you are on face book, I would say, spread the word by way of it and let it out that the teacher and school system allow such behavior from their teachers and Superintendent. I have already put your story on my face book and have gotten several comments along the same line as seen here. If it gets to a news station and they confront the school, you just might get somewhere.

Brooke - posted on 01/25/2011

thats so terrible! I don't blame you for wanting your son as far away from this teacher as possible! I can't believe nothing has been done, is this teacher even being disciplined/warned in any way?. To me there is No excuse for what he did, there are better methods out there surely!. i Hope your son is doing ok and coping, maybe put him in a different school if you are able and the school you are currently with refuse to see your concerns.

Laura - posted on 01/25/2011

Leslie .... That is one of the things I said, the teachers need education in regards to special needs children. Thatnis an appropriate expectation and consequence. Everyone makes mistakes and this teacher made a doozy of a mistake, but if the school can learn from this and get the proper education for the teachers and reprimand those responsible for the poor treatment of the child, then that is a step in the right direction. However, if it were to come out that the teachers in question have a history of I'll treatment toward their students, then by all means they need to be removed. But that has not been stated here so I must assume this was a one off.

At any rate, I hope for a proper outcome to this situation.

Laura - posted on 01/25/2011

My point too, Edith ... Education and boundaries. Going for blood is OTT.

Laura - posted on 01/25/2011

Having Internet problems now ...

Anyway, I never said 'let it by', I said push for appropriate consequences (apology, suspension, education re special needs kids and even a written warning in the teachers file). What I have read on here from many people is a lot of vindictive, violent suggestions ... Go for blood, go nuts on him, kill him, etc. Those are highly irrational responses. You bet I would want something done, but if this were a 'first offense' by the teacher I wouldn't be gunning for his job. Yes, what he did was stupid, humiliating, wrong and could have had a bad outcome, but it's also very possible he must didn't THINK about this, he acted too quickly and didn't go about it the right way. But threatening to sue and have him lose his job is not the answer, IMO. And yes, I am allowed to voice my opinion.

:)

Tammy - posted on 01/25/2011

I think the teacher should have HIS mouth duct taped and made to wear I sign that reads " I AM THE ASSHOLE THAT TAPED A KIDS MOUTH SHUT" and allow all the students to beat him with sticks

Julie - posted on 01/25/2011

I used to be a military wife . My mom was a teacher and my mother- in- law were teachers in the dept. of defense school system. That's a whole different program that teachers have to apply to. It's different than a public school system. Services that families receive, support, education, counseling, etc. should be under something similar to community services for you (It was called ACS in the Army - Army Community Servcies. I'm not sure what the Air Force equivalent is. If they didn't provide it directly they knew who in the area did though. Sounds like you may be in Asia...) If that isn't an option, and things haven't worked out at the school level (work with an advocate/neutral party if you can at any meetings), at your husband's unit level, or other options you can always contact your Representatives, Senators, and the White House Council for Women and Children (www.whitehouse.gov) . Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Biden have made military families and the support of their families, one of their issues. You can contact them through this website. With education reform, health care reform, bullying, etc. all in the news you will just show them even more how important these issues are - especially when you are overseas and don't have resources usually available to you. Make sure you document time, date, place, actions, behaviors, what is said, done, etc., medical care if needed - especially if you are headed for legal action and for medical and educational records. Best of luck to you. Take care.

Cheri Zobel - posted on 01/25/2011

I feel your pain. I have been in a similar but not as direct situation. Eventually we switched schools to get away from the teacher. I know it probably isn't a solution for you. In our case we forced the (1st grade) teacher to start a book and make one positive comment every day to counteract months of negative interaction. It helped and we made it through the year but had further problems when I had another 1st grader. Previous teacher was head of dept. then. We moved to a new school which we love.

Joy - posted on 01/25/2011

I'm surprised you haven't put him in private school, although this may be a private school you didn't say? Also you could always home school him. I have been home schooling my son since 6th grade and he loves it and is getting straight a's. He even has to do biology dissections as part of his 9th grade requirement and I had to order all of the materials. It is cheaper than private school and costs about $500.00 a year. Most private schools are at least $400.00 a month!

Jeanette - posted on 01/25/2011

Are you working? Do you have to send him to school? Homeschool him if you can. Might take some research to find out what to do. No reason any child should go through that kind of abuse. And that is what it is...ABUSE! It will affect him for the rest of his life. Make sure you keep all those notes in case you ever do get a good lawyer. That teacher needs to be fired! I have a child sensory issues and we homeschool him mostly because of what could happen is school. I would get him out of that school before it got worse. Best of luck!

Leslie - posted on 01/25/2011

Laura Wood: It's not retaliation that everyone is after; it's getting the right professionals to teach the children. If that teacher could not understand the simple basic fact that her son HAD to whistle to focus, then that teacher should be taught about ADD/ADHD and learn some coping mechanisms himself. I would not want that man teaching my child for fear that duct tape would not be his only weapon. AND YES, it is a weapon. The child could not breathe correctly when it was done to him. Emotional abuse is as bad as physical abuse and that teacher emotionally abused that boy. He will carry that emotional scar forever as he will always remember the duct tape. Instead of placating the entire school staff and associates, try having some feelings for this boy who now is isolated from his peers done not by his fault.

Bettie - posted on 01/25/2011

I just don't understand why some people are even allowed to remain in teaching after something like this is done to a child. I don't have any advice other than if there are any other schools or possibly two classes in his school for this subject. My son at third grade was treated just aboput the same way by his teacher. He was made to keep his desk in the order that she wanted him to and if it didn't suit her, she would dump it out while class was going on and he had to work on it instead of schoolwork. He then got behind his work and she labeled him slow and asked for a IQ test. It showed he was several classes above 3rd grade, but it didn't satisfy the teacher. I found out about the desk issue during Christmas break and I contacted the principle and superintendent and pretty much told them if my son wasn't transferred to the other 3rd grade after break, I would personally interrupt her class and carry his desk over to the other one myself. Turns out my son went from c's and d's to a's and b's, now who was the slow one there. I personally came to a few of my kids classes and sat in one them while in session. I learned who was special to which teachers. It happens everywhere and I would pursue it further if you can, it is unnecessary for our children to be treated like this.

Edith - posted on 01/25/2011

Mrs. Wood please excuse my spelling it was not my best subject in school. If you read my comments you would know I do not agree with the extent some moms wants. There is a big difference from a pattel and duck tape. I have a child in school now and insist he is disiplaned at school then we discuss the problem at home. They use the pattel as needed with boundries set for them by his dad and I. If that happened to Joey not only would I be on the door step of the school superintendate, we would have have his brother, careprovider, caregiver, and many other people Joey knows included other students and their parents. I for one am not saying fire the teachers but every mom I have talked to about this agree the people have no busness in a class room alone with children. The child's mom did not do this to the teacher; he is an adult and as one can make choices. When we were created God made us so we could make choices to the way we act and treat others. These teachers may have done damage to not only this one child but the whole class. This family need our prayers and to know we care about them, not blamed for wanting a teacher disiplaned in a way by his peirs that he would not be able to do it to another child.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/25/2011

Sounds like she has tried everything and noone has tried to help her. Ms. Wood sometimes you just can't be a doormat and have people walk all over you and since you like to use bible quotes God helps those who helps themselves. i think you need to read her posts instead of just posting things to see how many letters you can use!

Pamela - posted on 01/25/2011

When I got up this morning, there was a woman on the local news whose son had had his mouth duct taped shut by a teacher and left for an hour and a half, all because he was talking. She is considering pressing criminal charges. It is so sad to see that because you live overseas you don't seem to have the same recourse as this woman. Yet the situation is almost exactly the same. I really hope you get some satisfaction.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/25/2011

Yesenia it's duct tape not duck. Sorry i would want someone to point that out to me. Why is he getting detentions is he acting bc of what is happening to him. i hope it gets resolved so he can get back to normal routine.

Wendy - posted on 01/25/2011

laura wood- not being unkind to what you think but come on if this happened to your child would you just let it by??

Missy - posted on 01/25/2011

The same thing actually happened recently in the states. It was a girl that was talking out of turn and the teacher put duct tape on her mouth. The girl was too afraid to say anything and it was only found out about because some of the other students in her class told their parents about what had happened. Its been in the news now and the teacher is no longer teaching there. Hopefully not anywhere.

Leslie - posted on 01/25/2011

ABSOLUTELY. Someone has to stick up for your son and that is our job as a parent....correct the wrongs and protect our children.

Wendy - posted on 01/25/2011

this is one of the f***k up things i have heard in a while ! if anybody did this to my child i would go nuts and made sure they regreted it! take it to the papers , social everything cos this is classed as abuse to a child ! head off the school needs to be the investigated into the staff he or she is hiring to be classed as a teacher for the safety of the kids! bloody sick

Tina - posted on 01/25/2011

@ Yesenia..I'm SOO glad you responded to Mrs. Wood. I was going to ask her if she had an children and how she would feel if this happened to her child? I don't know about all the other mothers on here but from what I've been reading that most are telling you to do what you've done. Follow through with the proper authorities. This type of person should NOT be in the school system at all. If my child attended the same school and was in the class with your son, I would pull my child out of his class. I would not want the chance for this to happen with my child. Or what if it's something worse the next time this happens? Seriously???

Missy - posted on 01/25/2011

What about going to the local media. I'm not sure where you are stationed but any school administration would not want to be embarrassed in the media.

Laura - posted on 01/25/2011

Yes, I have a married daughter and two young boys. I know what abuse is and I have read your story and your comments and do understand the situation. And I have also read on here many comments about being out for 'blood' and other more violent vengeful comments.

I stand by what I have posted and understand your anger and frustration but it seems others comments have helped fuel the fire in your belly and things are now out if control. I am sorry you don't see this or agree, but don't let this eat away at you.

Good luck with your quest, but please keep it in perspective. Think of your son and don't make life more difficult than it already is.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

:)

Yesenia - posted on 01/25/2011

Mrs. Wood first of all I don't think you read all my story. I did talk to teacher and principle and the teacher tried to lie about his wrong doing. He only confessed when my child confronted him in the meeting. He did not even say he was sorry to him. Also when I asked the teacher "Is this how you treat kids?" HIs response was "Not usually" that tells me this man has done this before if not worse in the past to other kids. I must aslo say that I waited patiently for the school to do thier job. This happened in Nov. we were never contacted or heard from principle again and the teacher is still allowed to remain teaching. (We are in January now) This is not about whos job this about my child being abused by a person whom we as parents trust. Also, he is the only SCIENCE teacher at this grade level so I had no choice but to have him removed. I support my son everyday and he knows this was not right and just like our children are asked to take OWNERSHIP of thier doings so should grown ADULTS! and by the way I am not taking his MONEY but holding him responsible for his actions. This is CHILD ABUSE! I need them fired because our children should not have to be scared of going to school and having to deal with people such as adults abusing them. Thier is no VENGANCE here to be taken but JUSTICE! I never said that all teachers are bad please read my comments carefully. Oh by the way the abuse did happen the second time thats where the second teacher comes into play. thats why I Am PUSHING!! DO you have any children? When this teacher made the stupid decision of placing DUCK TAPE on my son he knew there would be a consequence. He made that choice no one is taking anything from him he has done this all on his own! and by the way its just not DUCK TAPE!!!! as you say it. Its called abuse I know if you have children you would not have allowed it! and I'm gonna tell you one thing about ME and my god. He has trusted me to care,love and protect my children and thats what I am gonna do.

H - posted on 01/25/2011

Yes. Perhaps your actions will prevent this from happening
to someone elses child.

Jennifer - posted on 01/25/2011

You did do the right thing...you are your sons only voice and if the school wants to sweep it under the rug then you have to make sure not just your son but all children near him are safe if he would do that in the classroom full of children(witnesses) then lord knows what he would do when he is not in front of others i know that sounds dramatic but it is true you can not be to safe ...

Laura - posted on 01/25/2011

Wish I could say I agree with everyone in here, but frankly I don't. While I do not agree with what has been done to your son, I also do not agree with the attitude of many on here ... all out for retaliation ...IMO trying to get the teachers fired is retaliation, not helpful, too extreme.



By all means the teacher, principal, school etc should acknowledge that what was done to your son was wrong. They should acknowledge that other options should have been used and you should have been notified before it got to this point. And yes, maybe the teachers involved need some further education on ADD/ADHD children, but going after their livelihood, taking away their means of earning a living over duct tape is a bit OTT. Suspension, sure, education, definitely. Termination ... come on!



Why not have your child placed in aother classroom with a different teacher rather than having him pulled out all together. Seems to me that action is what is alienating your child from others and putting a target on his back with other teachers as well. Those responsible for the inappropriate actions should write a formal letter of apology and not longer have contact with your son, but continuing this crusade is just going to make school life more difficult for your son. The principal said actions were taken against the teachers involved. Why can't you accept that and ask for some reassurances? Why do you need them fired?



When our parents grew up corporal punishment was the 'norm' and even for some of you it may have been. I'm glad that's not the 'norm' now, but it also never hurt anyone or scarred them for life. Today too many people are overly protective of their children and too many children think they can get away with anything because of the way they are protected at home ... mommy and daddy will come to my rescue, I can do what I want and not worry. No, I am NOT saying that is the case with you at all. But I am saying, children are resilient. Support your son, let him know what happened to him was not right. Tell the school you expect a formal written apology and you want your son placed in a different class. Let the principal know you support the school but not the actions of a few teachers and strongly recommend further education for teachers as needed. Stop the retaliation squad and get on with life. The teachers and principal are feeling threatened by you and are defending their own, as you are defending yours. Take the higher road, request reasonable consequences (education, suspension, apology, new classroom) but stop there, do not retaliate with demanding firing.



It seems to me all parties have gotten overheated and out of hand. Stop it now. Be reasonable. Let the school get on with their job, teaching. Let your son get on with his job, learning. And let the school know that if anything like this happens again, you will push it and push it until heads roll.



Vengance is mine, sayeth the Lord.



:)

Yesenia - posted on 01/25/2011

Hello everyone I just spoke to a lawyer and he says he cannot help me due to where we are at and the whole military issue. He did say to go again to press charges on the teacher because it is a crime. That gave me hope. If that does not work.he gave me the Attorney General office to Delaware. I have made the call. I feel so nervous I hope this was the right thing to do. It was and I feel a little better but still scared of the extra attention this will bring my son and husband. I did do the right thing right?

H - posted on 01/25/2011

I'd be writing to CNN via email. Media attention usually gets the victim(your son) some positive advice.
some type of action.