My son was bullied at school by his teacher

Shawnn - posted on 01/25/2011

Louise, I'm not sure how things work in the UK, but in any case, as a military family, you should be able to turn this over to your husband's command. They should provide any legal assistance as well. In the US, this teacher would have been removed from the classroom IMMEDIATELY upon his confession of abuse. In this day and age, even in the poorest school districts in the US there are special needs provisions and rooms/classes specifically geared towards helping students like your son learn coping and concentrating mechanisms. There is NO way this man should be allowed in any classroom. Go to your husband's base command and ask for the legal aid for dependents. Start there and don't stop until you have this man's job.

Leslie - posted on 01/25/2011

There are teachers in Florida that were FIRED for less. You need to go THREATEN to go to the press. That teacher does NOT belong teaching. If he cannot handle whistling, he cannot handle anything else. He needs to take a course on ADD/ADHD to understand what it is and how to cope with kids who have it. Seek out Legal Aid if you cannot afford legal council.

Jill - posted on 01/25/2011

Have you tried contacting any of the major news networks stateside? If this situation gets bad publicity maybe someone will step in and do the right thing.

Jennifer - posted on 01/25/2011

parts of the profession of teaching is that some children will be disruptive in class while i certainly admire the profession it is a chosen profession if you cannot tolerate the behaviours some children may have it should not be your chosen profession...i am not trying to be rude but if he could find a less disruptive way he wouldnt have the dx of adhd the dx alone means there are certain allowances since it is a behavior issue and if this teacher is not prepared for disruptions she needs to be removed no 2nd chances it is inexcusable anything he does or did could never excuse duct tape for goodness sakes

Jackie - posted on 01/25/2011

@ Rhonda - I think you probably should have refrained from posting on this one too. Sure, you say that the teacher had no right but the rest of your post says something different. So, are you suggesting that she doesn't escalate this matter because teachers have it hard? If it were my kid, I would be doing the same thing she is doing. Personally, I would be out for blood and I don;t give a damn how disruptive my kid was being. Also, as she said, there were many other options and she was never notified.

Yesenia - posted on 01/25/2011

Mrs. Reames thank you for your support. I agree teachers are awesome for what they do everyday. This is not to say that all teachers are like this one. This teacher had no right to do what he did. You know even if my son did not have ADD it still does not give anyone that right to harm a child that way. I don't care if your day was the worst ever. This teacher had many options.
1. I had never recieved a complaint from him about my sons whistling.
2.Never recieved a email
3.Never recieved a note
4.Never did he send him to office for this mattter.
On that day if he felt he could not handle my son then he had options. Send him to the office call for help. The options are many. I too admire teachers everywhere and subs as well. I understand that whistling can to be loud. I was never called to come in to try to help my son in redirecting his habit. I have spoken to my son since then and have given him other ways he can try to redirect his tendcy of whistling. All this is called COMMUNICATION. Something thatshould of been done from day one of my sons whistling habit started in class.I would of been there so fast to be involved as I am always with my kids education.

Maricel - posted on 01/25/2011

oh it is sad story.what kind of teacher is that.he dont have the right to embarrass ur son infront of their classmate,you need to report it

Yesenia - posted on 01/25/2011

Mrs. Lee does this apply to DoDDS shools overseas?

Jennifer - posted on 01/25/2011

my stomach is literally turning this poor child and you poor mom...have you considered the Judicial Dept. it does not need to be a crime for them to investigate and determine wrong doing...jenn

Lylia - posted on 01/25/2011

Edith, I am an excellent Mother who tried many avenues before going with what my brother had said. I certainly DID NOT tell my child about the 2 phone calls. I just know it is what finally worked for me. I stress that this Mom has to do what is right for her family and if that means legal action ~ then that's what she needs to do. Every Mom & Dad's job is to Protect their child - we cannot be with them Every Moment However, we have the Right to expect that the Teachers that our children are entrusted to will make the right choices and when they don't we will Firmly hold them accountable.
Yesenia needs to have her husband step up and take a stand for his child as well. I am certain that he could make an impact on this situation. unfortunately, sometimes a Man needs another Man to Confront him...that's all I'm saying.

Rebecca - posted on 01/25/2011

Although it was nothing as severe as what your son has endured, my son was alienated as well in the 2nd grade.If the principal will not cooperate, and the superintendent will not cooperate, take it one step further.Complain to their boss.And contact a lawyer!Threaten to call the authorities, as well.Also, spread the word! Tell the other parents;teachers.....power in numbers!Good luck!

Marie - posted on 01/25/2011

Get the media involved. hey will eat it up! Also things will start to fall in place. Here in Texas they are not putting up with Bullying and I think it should be also in the work place. God Bless you and thanks for protecting us. This teacher should be fired and they do, do that here.

Yesenia - posted on 01/25/2011

We have been to base legal and many other places. I have the slips and copies of statement my son and I did the day of reporting of incident. I know someone mentioned that GMA was already given this story. There is no words to describe on how grateful my family and I are in recieving all this support. We are fighting and will do so till both techers are fired.

Katie - posted on 01/25/2011

I know ur overseas but maybe if you used a video of all the detention slips and maybe found other parents who have kids treated poorly you could send GMA

Lindsay - posted on 01/25/2011

You and your husband need to go down to Base Legal, it's there for you to use and it's free! If the school isn't going to do anything about it then you need to take matters into your own hands. I'm not saying sue or anything but at least see if there is some way to get the teacher fired because that is NOT what a teacher is there to do! It may not warrant as a crime but teacher's are there to teach, not to humiliate students in that kind of manner! If there is any way to transfer your child to a different school then I would look into that also. I know that may not be possible because you are over sea's but I would at least look into it! I hope you find something to do about the teacher though because that was uncalled for!

M-b - posted on 01/25/2011

Find legal help- military is very good with that too- your son with ADHD/ADD falls under 504(c)3 - "other health impaired" and HAS to get help- they HAVE to help, not pick on him. If they cannot, will not do this, then the school gets to pay for whatever teacher can help you privately. but for the teacher to place duct tape over ANY childs mouth is physical, not even to mention the embarrassment. The principal and superintendent know this and may just give you the runaround believing that you eventually give up. And you may as you grow more frustrated- that in itself is permission to continue. I went through a similar situation, but had a teacher give me more input outside the school, so went and got legal help- boy howdy did things get rolling. You do what is best for your child - since you dont know all the ins and outs of school law, get the help. The Air Force is not allowing this to happen - only this little group- get more help to learn more

Reverend Ruby - posted on 01/25/2011

Contact a newspaper or TV news department and see if they will run a story about this. They will also try to find out why more was not done to punish the teacher.

Joanna - posted on 01/25/2011

If your child is formally diagnosed with ADHD then there is a specific protocol they must take and your child will have rights. Make sure that diagnosis is on file.

La Tonya - posted on 01/25/2011

Ok now this is what you do next, I work for a school district so I know the rules. Now you need to go to the school board, and if that doesn't work go to the local news stations ( email ) them. And if your child has special services from the school that he/she attends, go to the Director of Special Education. Trust me it will work and you will get some results. And at the end of the day, that teacher might not have a job anymore and the principal well she/he will have a lot of explaining to do and the Super Attendant will handle that part......

Yesenia - posted on 01/25/2011

Mrs. Laurenece thank you for asking questions on this issue. Yes we have done everything we are suppose to do. I have followed the chain of command.
Mrs. Collins,Thier is a church here but we don't attend it. My mom was living with us up untill this past JULY when she had to retuen She is a Rev. and we would get bible study from her. My family and I have a strong base on god is our foundationin our home. We pray and read our bible and have study withour children as well. My son actually loves to read the bible and gathers alot of his strength from scripture. Thank you for your prayers and support.

Diane - posted on 01/25/2011

Prayer wish I'm doing right now :) Do you also have a church ?

Shannon - posted on 01/25/2011

Has your husband addressed the issue? My dad said that usually the enlisted one has to bring it up to his commanding officer or even to the priest.

Shannon - posted on 01/25/2011

Ok, so you're on a base in Turkey? The school in ON the base as well? I was under the impression that American military bases ran on American laws, if it happened on the base it is an American law that is being broken. If it happened at a school that is off base it is local jurisdiction. Is this not a correct assumption? I come to this assumption because if a child is born on an American base it is an American citizen. I may sound ignorant here. My heart goes out to you & your family!

Cathy - posted on 01/25/2011

I'd go to the police. No one should do that to anyone. The teacher was not suspended or any reprimand placed in the teacher's records? Push for that.

Donell - posted on 01/25/2011

call the police even your husbands common and security. I have adhd, I am a teacher, that is not okay ever it is dangerous. also document everything, write it down when, where take photos. Protect your children. I would not wait say something now.

Annamarie - posted on 01/25/2011

Ms Falcon, thanks for explaining the 504 plan to me. I wish we had it here by us. The schools try and accomodate these children to the best of their ability - or I suppose so, but not nearly enough is being done to meet the demand. I find that my son is picked on by teachers and embaressed in front of the class (he is not in a special school, so they expect him to keep up the pace). We tried getting him in a school that specializes in ADHD/ADD, but they say he's too old and must continue going to a "normal" school until he's 16 so that he can go to a technical school where they work mostly with their hands and it is not so academically orientated. Long way to go, he's only turned 11 now. Its so unfair. Thanks again for your help and BEST of luck with your situation, I will stay on top of your story, I need to see the outcome.
xx

Amanda - posted on 01/25/2011

Im so digusted in this day and age that a teacher can get away with that.Its not your childs fault and it is the teacher that is at fault,im sorry but i think id have o take this further.How many more children is he going to shut up by ducking tapping there mouths.Take it to the highest person,if not take it to the newspaper.

Yesenia - posted on 01/25/2011

Mrs. Vercueil
The "504" in "504 plan" refers to Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act, which specifies that no one with a disability can be excluded from participating in federally funded programs or activities, including elementary, secondary or postsecondary schooling. "Disability" in this context refers to a "physical or mental impairment which substantially limits one or more major life activities." This can include physical impairments; illnesses or injuries; communicable diseases; chronic conditions like asthma, allergies and diabetes; and learning problems. A 504 plan spells out the modifications and accommodations that will be needed for these students to have an opportunity perform at the same level as their peers, and might include such things as wheelchair ramps, blood sugar monitoring, an extra set of textbooks, a peanut-free lunch environment, home instruction, or a tape recorder or keyboard for taking notes.
It allows you to add any modifacations your child may benifit from and help him/her to excel.. Its a legal document and the teachers ans staff have to follow it. It helps my child to have that extra time and any type of help he may need. Its up to you as a parent to request any and all modifcations you know will benifit your child. Talk to your child's docotor. Their are lots of web sites out there to educate you on the 504 plan. I have learned alot about ADD/ADHD by simply talking to my child and reseaching,asking questions and reading books. I hope i helped you.

Annamarie - posted on 01/25/2011

Ms Falcon, sorry to ask you this, but what is a 504 plan? We dont have it here by us in South Africa as far as I know. Maybe it's something my son can benefit from. I think it's great that you have such wonderful support for your son.

Yesenia - posted on 01/25/2011

Mrs. Swonsen thank you for your kind words. Yes the school is aware of his ADD/ADHD and we have a board of memebers that ,meet with us when its needed. The teacher is aware of this as well. He is on a 504 plan as well.I had him removed from the classroom because I did not feel safe having him on that classroom with teacher. My childs safety is very important. My child is held responsible and he takes ownership for his learning mistakes always.We have him in counciling right now and. I have provided him with Yoga and he excerises with my husband at the gym as well. I try to watch what he eats to balance it out all the time. We work together to problem solve any issues that arise here or at home. My son is a great kid and he knows that he has so much support. The teacher did something that is very wrong and he needs to take responsibility and if anything remove himseif from teaching. There was a comment he made (The teacher) that really scared me alot and that was when he confessed about this matter I asked him "Is this how you handle kids?" his response was "Not usually" that tells me that he has done it before or maybe worse.. It scared me to even think my son would be in a same room with him. He needs to get removed.

Kendra - posted on 01/25/2011

Can you picket outside your son's school? I'd shout inflammatory statements like "this school employs child abusers!" Do you not have the same rights as a military wife that you would as a civilian? I'd picket outside the teacher's house if I had to. I would start harassing the principal every single day with emails and phone calls. I'd mail a roll of duct tape to the principal every single day. Attend your son's science class with him every day. Let that teacher know you've got him in your sights. Become such a nuisance that they are forced to deal with you. One thing I know for sure; if someone laid a hand on my child, I would be behind bars for homicide!

As for the few here who are trying to defend the teacher; ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????!!!! Under no circumstances should a teacher EVER put their hands on a child in anger E.V.E.R!!! And the woman who tried to justify his behavior with "maybe he had a migraine or had a fight with his wife that morning." There are no words for the stupidity of that comment. If you have that much of a hair trigger, you should not be in close proximity to children. UNBELIEVABLE.

Call the US Embassy. That is precisely what they are there for. They protect American Citizens on foreign soil. My father-in-law was badly injured, and then abandoned by his tour group while traveling in a foreign country. I called the embassy there and they were on it so fast! They got him help and got him out of there. They cut through all the red tape and took care of everything. There are resources there for you too. Good luck!

Lisa Ann - posted on 01/25/2011

Take him by the neck and KILL him, I'm sorry that's what I would do. How dare he, your son is going to be scared for life...I'm an adult suffering from a teacher bulling NOT nice...you are the parent it's your job to stand up for him...my mother DID and she did take my teacher by the neck and nearly strangled her...They should not be able to teach....

Val - posted on 01/25/2011

If your son has truly been diagnosed with ADHD it is important that you work closely with the school and keep the administration and teachers in the loop. His pediatrician can also help with suggestions on how to best help your son. We are a retired Military family and went through ADHD with our son so I can relate to how you feel. It is important that your son feels support and understanding but at the same time has to know that he is responsible for his actions and there are consequences that go along with that. The teacher handled this situation completely wrong and I believe your son is owed an apology. Is the teacher aware of the ADHD and is there a solution you can work out? There are certain concessions the school and education system has to make for your son's dissability. At the same time, I can see that whistling in the classroom can be very distracting to the others. I don't believe that removing him from the classroom is the answer because this won't be the only time that he'll encounter a situation that's difficult, he has to learn how to deal with the situation at hand and running away from it won't help. Try getting together with all the parties concerned including your son and work out a solution that involves what is expected from your son and how everyone will help him to achieve his goals. Get it in writing and set up a contract. He also needs to be rewarded for his efforts and goals achieved and held to consequences for behavior that's not acceptable. It is important that your son has positive feedback. If the school is still uncooperative, try contacting the the head of the DOD school system.

Annamarie - posted on 01/24/2011

Dont give up!

Yesenia - posted on 01/24/2011

Good Morning I woke to find my support of Strong WOMEN and MEN coming together and supporting our family.Thank You from our hearts to yours.

Update: I will try to answer everyone. Ok when the incident first occured I did talk to principle,guidance council,and teacher. He denied incident and tried lying about it. When my son was brought in then teacher confessed.

After meeting we waited to hear from principle and never did. Now this happen around NOV. Then right after that I got really sick from stress and was in and out of hospitals for 3 months. January we still had not heard from principle but we know teacher is still teaching of course. The incident number 2 happen yet with another teacher bullying my son. Again I was at the school. I had not filed a police report on the first case because we had been told it did not warrant as a crime. OK then we were at the school again questioning this behavior and principle said again we have addressed the matter it won't happen again.

I came home called Family Advocacy and they too said that the DUct Tape incident did not warrant for them to do anything about it. He called security forces to make sure and the same response was given. I have then since seen legal aid on the defense side and although they cannot give me legal advice I was told to talk to the IG and Equal O. OFFICES. I did that yesterday and the IG said he can look into the matter but could not directly influence in the removal of the teacher. The school principle stated to us that she has a process she needs to take. The Equal O office. said they could not help us because its not a descrimanation act against my son. I did also stop by the security offices too and I have not heard anything from them. The lady that helped me said she could not find the case on file.SO thats is my update I have been to every avenue I have and still trying to find a lawyer that will take my case if anyone knows one that will be probono that would help. Also, a friend who is legal agent stated to me that as a friend not a legal agent that this matter was not beeing looked at because it is consired a SOCIAL ISSUE.

La Tonya - posted on 01/24/2011

Oh HELL NO!! That teacher would be fired or in jail somewhere and the principal will be in trouble as well.....

Joanna - posted on 01/24/2011

I have a daughter who is ADHD as well and dealt with the punitive punishments last year. You, as the parent, MUST advocate for your child. I'm not sure where you live, but go to a website called Parents Helping Parents. Lots of great information. I would try and see if chewing gum will help your son not to whistle, as I am sure it is very distracting for other children. Or, there are squishy pillows that he can sit on that seem to be helpful for focus, as the kids don't fall off of their chairs. If you are not working, I would go with him to science class and let him participate, or see if there is an alternate science teacher. I do not understand how the superintendent would support such behavior.

Daphne - posted on 01/24/2011

sorry to keep posting, but I totally believe this and I personally know of this type of behavior happening quite often. It is very difficult to get a teacher fired, even though there is lots of proof. The teachers unions are so strong and so are the contracts. It is terrible and as a community we need to fight against these type of teachers. It is not fair to all the wonderful hardworking teachers out there. Thank you for posting what happen. It's hard to believe, but even the other teachers know there are always a few horrible teachers that never go away!!!!

Daphne - posted on 01/24/2011

You need to have an ARD mtg. Call Advocacy Inc and they can tell you in detail what you need to do and all about your rights. They do not charge and sometimes they take some cases to court.

Daphne - posted on 01/24/2011

Think I just saw this in the news. They put her on leave I think???

Connie - posted on 01/24/2011

i agree with you 100% because if the mom put tape on his mouth she would be charged with abuse parents are suppose to trust the school system after all their childrens lives are in their hands

Catherine - posted on 01/24/2011

I do not know what to tell you if the school is maintained by an overseas entity. If it is maintained by the army or services, then you should see a lawyer. Otherwise, you need to see a lawyer versed in the foreign law to see if you have a case.

Mel - posted on 01/24/2011

It probably depends on which country you are living?? Do they have child protective services?

Pamela - posted on 01/24/2011

Yesenia, I hope you don't mind, I copied your orginal post and gave a little detail to Good Morning America. Hopefully, if nothing else they will at least provide some advice.

Jennifer - posted on 01/24/2011

why did no one call the police?? I would call the police and the local paper. Can you filer personal assault charges?

Jennifer - posted on 01/24/2011

We went through this with my 8 yr old! He has learning disabilities and needed directions repeated. She was horrible to him. She was cruel and humiliated him on a regular basis. I finally wrote a letter about her behavior and CC'd it to the principal,the superintendant, and the school committee. Another parent of a learning disabled child did the same thing a day after. She was removed for a day and her behavior has been better of late but I am on her every single time she does something mean.

Tracie - posted on 01/24/2011

Sorry, the teacher's behavior meets the definition of battery. Not to mention emotional abuse. Go to the police. (He should be made to teach with duct tape over his mouth and be humiliated in front of the class the way your son was.) Pitiful excuse for a teacher. I would be irate if I were you. Where overseas? Is he in a US military sponsored school or a local school? Don't let it go. If the teacher gets away with it, he will most certainly do it again.

Good luck to you and your precious son.

Donna - posted on 01/24/2011

I would call the police. This man should not be alone with kids.I had a teacher in grade 7 that wouldn't allow me to use the bathroom when I had my period and I ended up with blood all over my jeans. It was the first class of the day and I forgot to spit my gum out and she asked for it and then stuck it in my hair. It had to be cut out. When I told my parents all my dad said was you should stick gum in her hair. I was such a shy child and I hated school until I got to high school. Stand up for your son and get this teacher fired.

Heather - posted on 01/24/2011

I would ask some of the other parents from your son's class! Chances are if this teacher is doing this kind of thing to your son then he could be doing other things to other kid! and if the teacher has done just that and enough parents ask for him to be fired, or moved to a position where he would not be in direct contact with the students. the school with have to move the teacher and get a new teacher to replace him!

I was an ESE kid in school and our language arts teacher was mentally abusive to me and the kids in my class... even not letting one student go to the bathroom when he asked (he wet himself in front of the whole class)..... she "resigned" and moved to another state to teach.

but i hope everything works out for you and your son!

Tasseua - posted on 01/24/2011

Im sorry but thats not bullying thats child abuse!! If i were in your situation i would go to the police and have the teacher charged!!
Just think about it, if you did such a thing to your child at home, and then he went to school and told the teachers about it, would they not call docs on you??? Im quite sure you would probably have them asking questions, they would not let it fly... Why is it ok for a teacher to do it???
I wouldn't worry about legal action, i would go straight to the police and have them do it on your behalf! Or even call child services yourself! ;-)