My son who was 3 in October refuses to be toilet trained. Any suggestions?

Elizabeth - posted on 01/03/2009

My son turned 3 last week and I know exactly what you're going through, My son has occasionally shown interest, but nothing consistant. We've got the potty. Tried reinforcements for sitting on it. He doesn't care. Tried to take him when his daddy goes, that's not worked. I asked the doctor about it at his 3 yr old check up the other day. She told me that they'll do it when they're ready and that boys do take longer usually. She said it really doesn't matter if they're in pull ups or underwear. We put him in underwear here at home just so he would get the feeling. Those pull ups say cool alert, but it doesn't seem to bother my son. I also thought my son should be trained by now, but I guess I wouldn't worry until he was closer to 4. Dont' feel guilty. They're just not ready I guess. Just keep mentioning it & talking about it.

Elizabeth

Christina - posted on 01/03/2009

My son is 3 1/2 and I am having the same issues with potty training. I have tried everything stickers, m &m's (his favorite candy) I've also just put big boy underwear on him (which worked with my oldest son who is now 12) but he would just go and change himself when he had an accident. I've decided to just back off for now and let him do it on his own time. Sometimes they are just not ready. Good luck!!!

Jackie - posted on 01/03/2009

Thanks for all the replies ladies. He finally did a wee in the potty after his bath last night. We made a big deal of it. He was running around the house yelling to daddy that he had done a wee. We all 'high fived" him and made him feel special. So at least now I know he is capable of using the potty and not scared of it. I found a website where a lady claims to have the secret to toilet training in 3 days. So I thought we might give that a go. 3 days is abit optamistic but we will try. Let you know how we go.

Susy - posted on 01/03/2009

I'm sorry to tell you this, but it took more than two full years to potty train my 5 year old. We tried everything---stickers, prizes, charts, a musical potty---we even took him to a child psycologist...finally, he just started always using the potty around age 4 1/2. He still doesn't stay dry at night, but I learned from the h**l of day potty training that it will all work out in time no matter what mommy does, so not to stress. They make diapers up to size 5 t for a reason...I think there're a lot of kiddos out there whose little bodies are just not ready---

Kate - posted on 01/03/2009

My son was also 3 in October and I'm in the same situation. He can do both (p and bm) on the potty when he feels like it and he'll do it all on his own. However, he doesn't want to do it. He'll tell me he doesn't know how. He will either tell me right after he has peed or pooped in his diaper or he'll sit in it, he doesn't seem to care. I have tried putting him in regular underwear and he just pees in them, let him run around naked and he peed on the floor. I have tried bribery with candy and with toys. I've tried the sticker chart too. I am so frustrated! I know he can do it, he's proven that to me but I think he's just lazy. It is easier to do it in his diaper and let mom change him. I think he should be potty trained by now too. And you should see the looks I get from people who can't believe he's not trained yet. If something works for you I'd love to try it too, it sounds like your son andmy son are very similar! Good luck to you.

Jennifer - posted on 01/03/2009

I have 3 boys and and been through 2 potty training. We started reading books about potty training first. We talked about it and I started building value about being a big boy and how that is directly connected to no diapers. I then waited for them to tell me they wanted to be a big boy with no diapers. No power struggles with either boy. Both boys have strong wills about many other things so I was really happy the potty wasn't one of them!! Good luck. Keep trying till you find something that works for you guy. It all ways works out in time.

Leeann - posted on 01/03/2009

The cheerios in the toilet trick reall does work-as well as the potty charts-I used to do the potty dance!! One thing I wanted to add is to make sure that he is wearing underwear-not pull ups. It is important for children to feel that it is not comfortable to be wet or it is just the same to go to the bathroom or in your pants. You can purchase a few packages on clearance-any kind-and of course make it a big deal-and then purchase the plastc pants that go on the outside, so as not to create a huge mess for you. I have potty trained children quite quickly this way-when they feel the discomfort, it shows them why they need to use the toilet. GOOD LUCK-you will do great!

Tia - posted on 01/03/2009

Make a sticker chart, then have a prize box or bag. Start out with having him go potty ect. 1 time. If he does, let him put on a sticker then let him pick out of the prize box. Increase it the next day to 2 times ect. Then ounce he uses it all day, up the rate to no accidents for 2 days,do that for a week. Then 3 days, ect. Also, start putting regular underware on him a couple times a day When he has an accident, put him back in the diaper. The next day put him back in underware. It helps if he picks the underware out.

Gail - posted on 01/03/2009

put cheerios in the toilet, tell him its a game and let him target shoot! LOL it worked!

Tammy - posted on 01/02/2009

With my daughter, it was only a matter of getting her something she really really wanted. She wanted a bike! I told her she cannot ride a bike and be in a diaper...that was it for her! Also, I found with her, if I kept underwear on her, she would just wet them. I went days with her, being completely naked, then she would use the potty. Seeing it come out, maybe opened her eyes? I dunno?

As for a boy...we have used 'cheerios' in the toliet, to tell him he gets to shoot the cheerios ? I have also been using star burst(those are his favorite candy) We also make a big deal, doing the poo-poo dance, pee-pee dance...and the ENTIRE family does it :)

Brianna - posted on 01/02/2009

hey Jackie my son will be 4 in February we got him a potty book with stickers in it and every time he used the potty he would be able to put a sticker up on the poster it is really working for me and he finally uses the potty now :)

Tracey - posted on 01/02/2009

don't worry! My son and I struggled with potty training for months, then one day he just said "I'm going to wear big boy pants today" and he has been potty trained every since. A few accidents here and there, but done...and he just pretty much had to decide for himself. Just keep working with him, encouraging him and letting him know what you expect. It will come!

Paulette - posted on 01/02/2009

Hi Jackie,

I would not worry...boys are tough when it comes to training. What are some of the methods you have used to train him? I would give him time and praise the positive things...like when he comes and tells you he is wet. I would ask him to get his own pullups and wipes. I would have him dispose of the soiled one into the trash too. Letting him know he is not a baby any more so these are his jobs now. Then use a sticker chart to keep track of him doing these jobs. He will see that he is doing a great job too. Does he follow the guy(s) to the bathroom? He could learn by example.

Dedra - posted on 01/02/2009

My middle was the same way...charts ...rewards....all the tips didn't work...he would even change himself when he had an accident..but wouldn't go..refused..flat out...(I tried to wait him out after 45 minutes on the potty screaming no joy).. finally in November...I waited until he was successful and handed him a special pack of underwear when he came out of the potty..and just between us made a big deal...now at almost 3 and a half..we're almost 100 percent. ...he just had to find his way..I guess some are like that.

Donna - posted on 01/02/2009

put cherrios in the toilet and tell him to sink them it works

Andrea - posted on 01/02/2009

My son also won't train. He was doing good, not scared at all...then he got constipation. Now he won't go on there at all. He associates the toilet/potty with pain. I figure I will just wait and re-visit it later on. It's not like he will graduate in a diaper...is what the pediatrician used to say with my daughter.

Amelia - posted on 01/02/2009

i used to tell mine to go pee if they asked for a drink i would say go pee and then we can have a drink what do you want ?
but there is nothing wrong with him he is boy statisticly they take longer give him something to look forward to something ig boys can do like go to preschool ex

Jenifer - posted on 01/02/2009

I know how you feel my oldest son was almost 4 (he is now 10) before he was potty trained and I did it with a piece of paper and stcikers. I just put a piece of paper on the wall in the bathroom and told him when he gets X amount of stickers for peeing in the potty he gets to go to his favorite store (Toys R Us) and pick out a toy then I did the same thing for pooping ( I did do them seperate). However my yougest son (4yo) was trained before he was 2 and did it almost alone. It was great!!!!

Tanya - posted on 01/02/2009

Have you tried a potty training chart? I created a chart and kept it next to the potty. Every time my son used the potty, he got to put a sticker on the chart. When he filled up a whole line, he got to pick a prize from the prize box (filled with dollar store stuff, etc.) It made the process fun and rewarded him for positive behavior. HTH!

Amelia - posted on 01/02/2009

i took mine to a lot of fun things like gym tastic to check out and told them they could come play here but there was only big boy pants alound and the underoos they love those just put those on and let them have accident they didn't like it lots of laundry for like three days and then it was over
not even a diaper at night no problems

LuAnn - posted on 01/02/2009

Just give him time. If you push it before they are ready, you might turn it into a battle of wills and you will be exhausted. You can make it fun. I gave treats, like an animal cracker if they could keep their pants dry between toilet trips(usually 20-30 minutes to start). Mostly just relax. He won't go to kindergarten in a diaper. He will learn just maybe in his own time.