My ten yr old daughter might be lying to get her way.

Jeanette - posted on 01/09/2013 ( 18 moms have responded )

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Hello, my name is Jeanette. Just joined Circle Of Moms. I have 3 children, their ages are 10, 7 & 5.. Two girls and a boy. I decided to join this website to get help and have a better understanding on why sometimes your own children turn on their mom. My 10 yr old daughter. Currently lied and said horrible things about me just to go live with her father, I guess she thinks she can get away with things when shes with him. Her father has been in and out her life, never paid me any type of child support and suddenly hes the better parent. I have raised all my chiildren on my own, always did the best I could to be a great mom to my children. It really hurts that my daughter doesnt see all I've done for her to keep her safe, nor the love that I have for her. Her father lives in PA and he sent for her so she can spend the holidays with him. He and I made an agreement over the phone that he would have her back in Texas before school starts on January 7th.. Everytime i would call to speak to her wouldnt pick up the phone. on Janurary 3rd he calls me to tell me that hes keeping my daughter because she is claiming that i abuse her. Thats is not true, thats hurts so bad to hear.. I dont know who is lying him or her. He wont return her and i dont know what to do. I have talk to lawyers but they are all charging too much to help me, and i dont have that kind of money...

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Dove - posted on 01/09/2013

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Yep. If it's not already specified in the court order... it had better be done in writing with both of our signatures and my lawyer's knowledge. ;)

Lakota - posted on 01/09/2013

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Dove, I did the same thing. Plus I still to this day don't agree to anything with him verbally.

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Lakota - posted on 01/09/2013

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Like Dove said, he can legally do what he is doing. Talk to your daughter and ask her questions. He must know his rights somehow to be doing what he's doing. If you can't go get her, or your family that's there can't see her, take out a loan and get an attorney. Don't wait too long to do something.

Dove - posted on 01/09/2013

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OK. Then he does have proof of paternity, so unless you can get her back from him your only option is to go through the court system. Sucks, but without a custody order both parents have an equal right to keep the child... even if that's keeping him/her from the other parent.

Jeanette - posted on 01/09/2013

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We got a paternity test done when she was 4 yrs old. Thats the only thing he has, the paternity papers stating he's her father.

Dove - posted on 01/09/2013

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Wait a minute... His name isn't on the birth certificate? Did he do a paternity test? Does he have any legal proof that he's the father?

Jeanette - posted on 01/09/2013

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Her father is claiming she said that I physically abuse her. This is so bad. My kids are my world. I have never hurt them. I believe there's nothing wrong with a spanking when they get out of hand for discipline but I don't abuse them. That allegation is really painful.

Lakota - posted on 01/09/2013

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Wow. I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say. Maybe you should take out a loan at your bank for the money? Keep in contact with your daughter. What kind of abuse did your daughter say she suffered?

Jeanette - posted on 01/09/2013

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No, he's not the father of my other children. Believe me I've done everything. I've 3 consultations with different attorneys and they all asking for too much I can't afford. I don't have family with that kind of money either. I have ask my family for help but they can't help me financially. I called the police and they said they can't do anything about it unless I have a custody order, even if his name is not on her birth certificate. They can't do anything.

Lakota - posted on 01/09/2013

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Do what you have to do. Call the police also in that town where he lives. You have to get an attorney too. Ask your family for financial help. Have you talked to an attorney and asked how much he/she charges and what your options are? Is he the father of your other children too?

Jeanette - posted on 01/09/2013

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I know where he lives. And so does my family but he won't open doors to them or let them see her. He did tell me he put her in school but didn't tell me what school. Last night when I spoke to her, I asked her if she was in school she said yes but didn't tell me what school she just told me it was in another town, not where he lived. I might have to contact a media source of some kind to get help.

Dove - posted on 01/09/2013

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A situation like this is exactly why I refused to let my ex take my children anywhere until we had a court order specifying visitations. I'm sorry. Unless you know where she is and go get her yourself (preferably with a strong, but mellow male family member or friend to help).... all you can do is get a lawyer and go through the court system to try and get her back. Good luck!

Lakota - posted on 01/09/2013

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So, you don't have his address, or know where he works, or anything like that? She eventually has to go to school. Did you ask him about that?

Jeanette - posted on 01/09/2013

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I have no custody order, that's what I'm trying to get but these lawyers are charging too much. I have contacted legal aid for help and they told me that they are not accepting any applications for child custody cases. Can I contact a source of media for help because nobody would help me. Last night I finally got to speak to her, she seemed like she wanted to tell me something but she couldn't because her father was listening to everything that was being said and I didn't want to ask her any questions that would jeopardize our conversation, I kept it simple and just asked her how she was doing and tried not to burst out crying on the phone. And I can't go to PA to get her cause he's really hiding her from me and my family that lives in PA.

Shawnn - posted on 01/09/2013

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If visitation/ custody is court ordered, then he's in contempt, and you can push the issue. As well as getting court costs possibly covered due to his being in contempt.

If you do not have court ordered arrangements, then look into legal aid for assistance. However, understand that she may have reached the age where a judge would allow her to have a say in which parent she lives with, and you may not regain full custody, unless her father is proven abusive, or an addict, or is somehow harmful to her.

Lakota - posted on 01/09/2013

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Most towns or cities offer free legal aid help. Do you have any family who could help you financially? You really need to get an attorney. Kids are going to lie - especially to get their way. She may also lie to get attention from her father. You said that he has been in and out of her life. She may think that this is the only way to get his attention.

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