My three year old in daycare... opinions

Jordyn - posted on 02/11/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Okay my two daughters started daycare last week for the first time ever.. I have a 3 and 1 year old. The first two days were so good for my 3 year old, but the third day was the total opposite.. She was crying and saying "no daycare" and that she wanted to stay home, which I was in shock because the first two days I literally had to drag her out of there. So the next few days she would just cry and says please mom I want to stay home, granted she spent her whole three years at home with daddy and I so I understand it is a big change. Well last night I told her that we had to take baths and get ready for bed because we had to wake up early for daycare.. she freaked out and said "No mom, no daycare.. daycare is scary" It caught me off guard because I don't understand why she would say this.. They both attend a center in a nice area and the teachers are very nice, they also tell me that she is doing wonderful.. So I don't know if I should be more concerned or is she just pulling my strings?? A part of me thinks that she just wants to stay home so she can do whatever she wants and watch TV all day which at daycare she cant do that... so opinions please!? Has anyone ever experienced this, is this normal?

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Holly - posted on 02/11/2013

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I really think it is probably hard for her to communicate to you that it is probably just because you aren't there... sort of like separation anxiety... she knows it doesn't make since, but she is scared... she will do fine... just take a peek in at her a few times a week.

Holly - posted on 02/11/2013

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ok, you have to realize that change for a child itself is scarey... mommy, who has been by my side every day of my life, is no longer there... THIS is scarey for a little one... and she probably doesn't know how to express that. ASK her if she finds it scarey because mommy isn't there anymore? she probably isn't TRYING to pull your strings. I would make suprise stop in's... and peak through windows... SOME daycares have windows that are windows on one side and mirrors on the other... SOME daycares have video cameras you can look at... just peak in once in a while to see how things are going... talk to the day care teachers and the office staff to see how your daughter is doing.

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Gwen - posted on 02/12/2013

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I wouldn't be reinforcing "scary" by asking all of the negative questions about people hitting, hurting or being mean to her. I just say this because you don't want to be promising her you would never take her anywhere bad, scary, etc. because it's only a matter of time before some kid smacks her on the playground she is TOTALLY going to use that against you if you make her go back! ;)

Instead, I'd ask her things like "Did you make a new friend?"
"Did you have fun with Mrs. XXX?" "Did you see the pretty flowers by the sidewalk?" Use these things to reinforce how GOOD daycare is.

Jordyn - posted on 02/11/2013

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I've tried asking her why is it scary, but her language is not all the way clear yet so it's hard to understand stuff she says sometimes.. I did ask like if her friends were mean to her? Did they hit her? Was the teacher Mrs. Blank mean to you? Did they hurt you? Why is it scary? And she just replies No to everything, and when I tell her not to be sad that mommy will always come back and pick you up.. she replies i'm not sad i'm happy. So its a little confusing on what shes trying to say lol

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