need help

Katy - posted on 01/09/2013 ( 21 moms have responded )

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my mom dont want my baby to have her dads last name because me and him are not married but i want to so should i face the fight with her and just do it of should i wait till i turn 18 and just have a name change? bc ill be turning 18 3 months after she is born

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Shawnn - posted on 03/18/2013

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Theresa, it doesn't matter WHAT her mother is doing. She is NOT the parent of this child, and legally (whether she's providing support or not) she has no say in what the child is named.

Not to mention the fact that the "child" in question is almost 18 and a legal adult.

Shawnn - posted on 01/10/2013

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Doesn't matter how old/young you are, Katy, your mother is NOT carrying this baby, nor is it hers to make decisions for.

Simply tell her that you are giving the baby her father's last name. If your mother is so petty that the name is bugging her, do you have a place to turn if she gets bitchy about it?

YOU are the legal parent and guardian of your child. Your mother will be a grandmother, but that doesn't give her any rights to the baby, unless you decide that she has them.

Or, like Firebird mentioned, give her both names. Either keep your last name as her middle name, or hyphenate the two surnames ;-) Good luck with everything!

Teresa - posted on 01/10/2013

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there was no confusion, husband was overseas in germany, he had come back before and stopped all allotments and emptied bank account before returning to germany. became pg later on, had filed for divorce and because you cannot take legal action against a us soldier that is not in the us, i had to wait almost 3 years for him to break down and sign the papers. there was no way he was the father. the only cost was the notary and maybe a 20 processing fee for the state to change the birth certificate. this was done in the state of illinois, my daughter had been born in washington state. her name was change when she was 6 months old, no adoption required by her father, no irs penalties ( which is what all of her fathers friends and family kept saying,) it wasn't that hard,the only one with the problem was first husband, he faced the possiblity of stockade time for stopping all allotments, (he was still collecting the money "BAQ" but not sending any to suppport me. he did not want to support me but at the same time he would not divorce me. choice was simple, divorce me or face uncle sam for money collected plus interest or sign the papers.

Lacye - posted on 01/09/2013

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It's not your mother's decision. Your child, your decision. It's not up to her what name the child has. Although I would go with having the double last name like S J suggested. Would make it easier in the future, in case things do not work out between you and the father.

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Teresa - posted on 03/17/2013

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Shawnn this is a girl who is very young and I'm
Sure that the mother is probably got her best
Interest in mind and that's why she is telling her
Not to give the baby the fathers last name. Yes
It is her child but she's a child herself and I'm sure
The mother is probably going to be somewhat taking care of
Them financially also .

Teresa - posted on 03/17/2013

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Take it from someone who knows, listen to your
Mother give your child your last name. You are not
Married and trust me you will regret it. I did it and
I've always regretted it. It's your decision but if I were
You I would listen to mom!!!!

Firebird - posted on 01/10/2013

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Ok since no one has suggested this yet, I will. You can also give baby BOTH of your last names. Baby Price-Dad's last name. Simple solution.

Teresa - posted on 01/10/2013

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put your name on the bay. i am not saying the father isn't important. i am saying from experience, you can always change it to the fathers if you get married. and it does not have to be expensive.my daughter was born while i was still leagally married to a soldier that didn't give a rats a*s about me or the baby.my husband at the time was not the father. after the divorce was finalized her father and i went to the public notary and filed papers. mine said yes he was the father, and his also said he was the father, then we sent that to dept of vital statisics. and her name was changed to his.no adoption no court process. and i have had family pictures taken with all of my sisters and their children and none of the fathers. one sis was upset about whole idea BUT i told her to look around. she was the only one still married to the orig. the father of her children. husbands/boyfriends may change but your child will ALWAYS be YOUR child. make the names match, he may wonder why they are different when he gets older

Jenn - posted on 01/10/2013

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It's your child, if you want them to have the Dad's last name do it. Getting a name change for the baby afterwards is a lot harder than you think....

Laurie - posted on 01/10/2013

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I had my baby at 17 and well kept my last name, good thing I did, cause we never got married !
24 years later never had to worry about it?? It's up to you? It's just a name, but it is nice to have the same name if things don't work out?
It's time to start making your own choices your going to be a mom and its a big reasonablity raising a baby,you will grow up faster than you want, but at least you have a mom by your side!
I would go with your name !!!

Kim - posted on 01/10/2013

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Speaking from personal experience of being a teen mom it is best legally for the baby to have his last name and make sure he signs the birth certificate too. I know you don't want to think anything would ever happen between you two but trust me if it does it usually gets ugly. For your future and the babies I really think it is the best.

Stephanie - posted on 01/10/2013

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It is your choice. However, I was not married and have my son his dads last name thinking we would marry one day. We are no longer together and I do regret not giving him my last name.

Firebird - posted on 01/09/2013

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Your mother doesn't get to decide who's last name your baby has. That is between you and the baby's father.

Dove - posted on 01/09/2013

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Your baby, your business. Your baby's father has a right to go on HIS child's birth certificate and if she doesn't like it.... well, too bad. You and the father do the birth certificate in the hospital... she has nothing to do with it. A baby isn't like a car.. you don't need a cosigner if you're under 18. ;)

Sorry, I responded as if the father going on the certificate was the issue. I DID read your post right though. Oops. ;)

You can still put whatever name you want on the baby's birth certificate. I think you can even make up a last name that has nothing to do with either of you if you 'wanted' to do that, so.... put whichever last name any way you want on there.

S. - posted on 01/09/2013

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It's your baby you do what you need to do. however my advice is that things can change and you never know what the future will bring if you put your name on then you can change it if you ever marry, its a lot easier then trying to change it to your name if things go wrong and daddy is against the idea. Also another option it to double barrel both names keeping everyone happy.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/09/2013

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If you are not married depending on where you live the baby will be listed under your name regardless. But you can put any name on the birth certificate and you can change it if you get married. It's your baby so it's your decision.

Starr - posted on 01/09/2013

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Your are your child's mom, not your mother do what you want for your child. On the other hand, why do you want to give the baby his last name? Personally, if I were you I'd want my child to have my last name that way they would be the same. But I guess you will get married someday so yours will most likely change anyways. Regardless of anyone's option, its YOUR baby, you sign the birth certificate not your mother. Your mother will just have to get used to it.

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