Need help with child jealousy.

Brandi - posted on 06/19/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hi. I am 25 and have two daughters aged 7 and 6. Their fathers died in car wrecks one in 2005 and one in 2011. Well I am pregnant with a boy, he is due in Sept/Oct. Me and the father have been together for 2 years (I known him through school too) and he has a 7 year old son....I am worried about his son being jealous of the new baby....he isn't here yet, but he already gets jealous if I am sitting next to his father when we have him on our weekend....he will wedge between us or whine for his father to come play with him when we are trying to eat supper. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't bother me but he is gonna be 8 in Feb. He shouldn't be whining, throwing himself on the floor and crying or crossing his arms and ranting like he does when he doesn't get his way. My 6 year old hasn't done that since she was 2! So my worries are he will be jealous of the baby, not want the father to hold the baby, or even worse try to hurt my baby. Any advice??

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Brandi - posted on 06/25/2013

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he has a sister at his moms...idk...it's all confusing to me, my parents divorced, i had half siblings and never experienced the jealousy....kids are so different these days than when I was a child.....of course back then there wasn't pregnant 14 year olds either.... :/

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 06/21/2013

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I've been with my husband for 6 years and my 7 year old step daughter is still jealous. She exhibits a lot of the same behavior your step son does. We have a 16 month old daughter whom my step daughter loves but is jealous of too. It's tough for her that we live together all the time and she had to go between two homes no matter how much time has passed. Try your best to make him feel part of the family and if he's only there part of the time then tell your hubby to spend some one on one time with him. Include him in things when the baby comes and have your husband talk with him how he will always love his kids equally. I know it's tough but remember its tougher for an 8 year old kid whom has no control over being tossed between two families, his patents not being together, and the addition of a new sibling who never has to leave their dad to go to moms house

Brandi - posted on 06/21/2013

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I will try to talk to him into talking to his son. And I know this because I have two kids, one which has some signs of Autism and she tells me through her expressions if she's not happy and wants to go back to her regular routine....but my kids are happy and content so I definitely don't want a 7 year old boy to dictate my life n decide if I should or shouldn't be with his father because me and my fiance are great together if we have disagreements he is the only man I been with that will actually talk to me, not at me, and not fight....so I'm here to stay no matter what.

Evelyn - posted on 06/20/2013

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How do you know that is not it? Changes of all kinds go on in our lives and as adults we do not a lot of the time think twice about it but it makes a big deal for an 8 year old child. Even if a new woman in the picture has been around for two years or more. Its still change and maybe he does not really like it. You can not force things on kids either. They either like it or not but they have to be respectful about it. Maybe his dad needs to talk to him about these changes.

Brandi - posted on 06/20/2013

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and not to mention it's not like me and his father Just now got together, we've been together for 2 years, so I don't really seeing me as new anymore.

Brandi - posted on 06/20/2013

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I have tried talking to the kid, showing him ultrasound pics, he isn't interested...

Brandi - posted on 06/20/2013

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I don't think that's it, because his father was in a relationship before and he said he never done it to his ex. and he has a baby sister at his moms house so i don't think the new baby is bothering him either. I am not just focused on the baby because my almost 8 year old has Cerebral Palsy, so I am a lot focused on her too....he does have his time with his dad just them so that can't be it either. He will also play well with my 6 year old daughter...

Evelyn - posted on 06/20/2013

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It may not be jealousy that is bothering the boy. Its his world changing that sounds like its bothering him. He may be used to all the attention and all but having a new woman in the picture and even new baby changes up everything. Maybe he does not get one on one time with dad. THat needs to be encouraged for a man with his son. They need just their time together for that is what the visitation is for....child and parent. Encourage this man to spend just time alone with the boy and then include him in things going on with the baby. You also need to spend a bit of time with the boy too and talk to him...about him and his interests. Do not focus on the baby so much. Also boys tend to mature a bit slower than girls. Just keep in mind he is seeing so many changes in a couple of years and to a kid that is a long time.

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