nervous about marriage

Kat - posted on 05/13/2011

I went through something similar, actually. My baby daddy asked me to marry him a year after our son was born. I said yes and started thinking about it and all it did was fill me with dread. I started noticing how I was really feeling about him- no more pushing feelings or intuition aside- and realized that I wasn't happy. I wish I had told him I wasn't ready. Regardless of whether or not you're happy with him, I would suggest waiting. If you haven't said yes, I'd say "I'd love to marry you, but I feel like I (need to accomplish x/y/z, I'm not ready, etc.)." There's nothing wrong with waiting.

Kathy - posted on 01/26/2010

Who doesn't worry about being a good wife, god mother, good provider? We all do. My husband and I married at 20. It has not always been fun, easy, or pleasant. Marriage is something both partners must be willing to work at-in good times and bad. The best advise I can give after 14 yrs of marriage is to be yourself and trust your partner. Enjoy the good times and work through the bad. Marriage counseling? Pre-maritial counseling? Great things. Utilize both when you guys hit those rough patches and fight for your partnership. Learn to forgive and listen. Oh and the old adgage-never go to bad angry with each other-try to strive for that. Table conflicts at the end of the day, kiss each other goodnight, and start fresh the next morning. You guys the foundation for your children-make it strong and solid and work to keep it that way!

Rosie - posted on 01/26/2010

i saw on a different post of yours that he was into drugs and doesn't pay much attention to your daughter lia. drop his ass! why would you want your child to grow up in a situation around drugs, first it's obviously harmful to your daughter, second it is harmful for you if he gets caught with drugs in your house. you could lose custody of lia. you are not worried if you will be a good wife, you're just chicken to leave this man because you have a child with him. your daughter will be much better off without a man who chooses drugs over her and you. you need to find a man who loves you for you, and loves your daughter like she is his own. i found one, i know you can too. KICK HIS ASS TO THE CURB!!!

Jennifer - posted on 01/26/2010

i noticed that you posted a previous conversation about a man in your life threatening to kill you....

are you talking about the same man here? cause if you are.... id have to say do not marry him. and if its not, well if you are second guessing yourself, dont do it. its not whether or not you'll be a good wife... its are you ready to be a wife to the man that asked you? marriage is forever... so think really hard on this. its a HUGE commitment and its very tough! good luck on making the right decision.

Mel - posted on 01/26/2010

I wouldnt be marrying someone like that I saw your other post. Find someone who will be a good daddy to that little baby of yours

Peita - posted on 01/26/2010

Aren't you the lady who is telling everyone in your other post that your babies daddy has threatened to kill you twice and is trying to take your baby away and has involvement in drugs?????????? You also respond in this conversation that he has cheated on you before!!!!! No-one should be in an environment like that, especially a small child, they cannot protect themselves, you have to do that!!! You need to ask yourself is this the safest thing to do for your child????????? I say NO!

Shannon - posted on 01/26/2010

My husband and i have been together since i was 14 I lost my virginity to him ( yet i have also been with other people) we are best friends, we've had are ups and downs but we find a way to get through it we got married july4,2008 and every day has been the ssame as before just now there is a certificate of it. Don't stress you'll do what feels right.

Isobel - posted on 01/25/2010

I just read another one of your posts...tell him to f off!!~!

Nicola - posted on 01/25/2010

Good luck with your decission, You'll be stronger for it and you and your daughter are going to be soo much happier. It's going to be hard but stick with your decission. Go you I say. Be Happy and free. NO woman desserves a life of hell spesh not after all we do for our men an blaming you for him going behind Is soo pathetic.
Good luck an enjoy your happiness.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/25/2010

Isn't he the one that is trying to take your child from you? And is constantly threatening your life? Why in the world would you want to comit yourself to an abusive marriage? Think about your childrens quality of life and yours!

Nelda - posted on 01/25/2010

LIKE HAVING CHILDREN, MARRIAGE DOESN,T COME WITH INSTURTIONS, YOU LISTEN TO YOUR HEART I DID AND EVEN AFTER 44 YEARS I STILL FIND SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT MY HUSBAND. I NEVER GAVE UP WHEN THINGS GOT TOUGH. GOOD LUCK.....

Sheri - posted on 01/25/2010

Good luck with your decision! Everyone has some jitters about it. Marriage is hard work, because you both have to give give give. The rewards are great if you are able to stick it out. Just don't make promises that you have no intention of keeping, that's my opinion.

Brittney - posted on 01/25/2010

hey yall, thx for the advice but i dnt think it will be any wedding .. he's not the person i wanna be with i've thought about it and he's made me realize that i can do so much better and that me and lia deserve so much better!! he is just a sorry excuse for a man ... im not going to downgrade myself for him .. he always told me that it was my fault that he cheats and i told him that i did not make him pull his thing out, it was him. and he doesnt respect me as woman, he tlks to me as if i were a child and im better than that! thx yall for the advice, i kno what feelings to look for when i do find a good man!!! :)

Julie - posted on 01/24/2010

Hey Britney, whats stoping you?? If you want to do it and he's the one thaen get it done. Life is not going to be easy or perfict no matter what but with a partenership based on trust you got it going on. TALK to him tell him all your fears and get them out there. If he loves you he will listen and understand. Theres no such thing as a "good wife" right off the bat it takes practice so give your self a brake and be happy in the life you have chosen.. go girl and God bless you both:)

Amber - posted on 01/24/2010

The best thing you can do is write down the qualities you believe make a good wife, and honestly ask yourself if you meet them. Then, do the same for him, What do you want from a husband?- does he meet them?. If not, then the answer is NO, and you move on.

Having fear or reservations shows that you're just making excuses to prevent yourself from having a good life. It's really easy to sit back and take it and make excuses for it. I did it for years as well and honey, it makes you crazy!!



I did the same thing with my daughters biological father and in the end, I left. I was scared to death,i thought he'd hurt me or cause problems ( to this day , he still does) but, I have a wonderfull husband now that treats me the way I deserve to be treated and I am so thankfull I had the strength to do it. Yes, it was excruciating, many lonely nights but the smiles on my face, and my daughter's face, our freedom, the release of that constant knot in my stomach was gone, I felt like I'd won a million bucks. Nothing is more valuable than you and your daughter's saftey and sanity, and you can't give yourself excuses or reasons to stay with someone who so clearly abuses and disrespects you. They will never change. NO matter how many times they say they will, they go to a marraige counseling meeting with you once or twice ( mine went a few times) THEY NEVER CHANGE. Give yourself permission to deserve better, and get out.



To help get more connected and confident, I strongly suggest joining a mom's group. or finding some free counseling .



It sounds like you've somehow managed to turn your b.f

s issues into your own, like somehow it's your fault he cheats, and that's not healthy.



Fact is, if he doesn't respect, honor and cherish you, then there is nothing to build a marriage or a life on and forcing it in the belief that things will be better later on is a big mistake.



I wish you the best of luck and I know you can find the answers you need :)

Lizzy - posted on 01/24/2010

Brittney, i would suggest that you deserve better. some men cheat and some do not. it has nothing to do with you. its just who he is. my advice is to leave him and find another. you will be happier with a man who treats you fairly. and when mama is happier, baby is happier♥

Lydia - posted on 01/24/2010

what makes a good wife? He obviously thinks that you will make one just by being you otherwise he would probably have told you he would marry you if....

My thing about it is - if you have a good solid relationship then marriage is merely an affirmation of this. It only changes the relationship if you make it that way. Best way to get over your fears about your expectations of marriage to your bf is to talk to him about them. Let him know your concerns/expectations and ask him about his. That way there are no nasty surprises so long as you are both honest :)



Sorry just read the last post....if you cant TRUST him dont MARRY him!!! You could always try some couples counselling if you actually love each other and want to make the relationship work but staying together for your child will usually backfire in a spectacular way. If thats the case I would say fnd your out now...

Nicola - posted on 01/24/2010

I never saw myself getting married, either. I'm booked to get married in 9mnths, (my dad booked it when we were just discussing it an looking at venues!! we've been engaged for 3yrs) Im also debating it but theres other reasons behind why, like money worries (he's gonna be made redundant either this year or early next!! and were struggling to pay bills and so forth as it is at the moment) and the fact that he can be real horrible at times and thoughtless realy turns me off the idea, not saying im perfect but he's changed since we got together, he can be controlling an wants to know where I am every minute of the day, but i love him and this is what i want to do (plus im only doing this once so if it doesnt work then it doest work) My mum divorced 2 times so im scared about that too.

You on the other hand have serious reason on why your thinking of not getting married, cheating i wouldnt put up with, dont stay with him just coz he's the father of your child!. it just wont work. Marry him if you love him and you think the relationship will work, dont live a life of hell for a peice of paper.
I remember the arguments and fights in the house when i was a child with my mum and her 2nd husband/ my evil step dad (he used to beat her was controlling and a alcoholic) and she only got married to him coz she fell pregnant and my nan told her too. It wasnt a nice atmospher for us kids.
Hope you make the right decission for your child sake an your own sanity. Im still debating mine and am glad my dad has taken out wedding insurance on the safe side.
Good luck an take care.

Sharon - posted on 01/24/2010

Marriage sucks. Just don't do it. That way you don't have to worry about divorce in a few years....

Carolee - posted on 01/23/2010

Do you already live with him? If you do, it's no different. You might have a bit of a freak-out like I did (got married New Year's Eve) recently, but that goes away (I have a hard time being legally bonded with someone). The hardest thing is getting used to a name change if you're planning on doing that. Other than that, there's really no different "feeling" to it. It also feels odd saying "my husband" for a while, but you get used to it pretty quickly. And, with already having a kid, we didn't notice any "honeymoon phase" like people usually describe it. It's just normal, every day things... get up, he works, I take care of Corbin, he comes home, dinner, and we hang out until bed.

p.s. I never saw myself getting married, either. It's not bad.

Sharyn - posted on 01/23/2010

Girl you already KNOW what to do. You are nervous and hesitating for very good reasons. He has cheated on you twice and is controlling - what do you think it would be like after you are married? You see a persons BEST side BEFORE you get married! His best has some serious problems. Mark my words, if you marry this guy you will regret it! Get out now! Run, don't walk! You deserve better than that - believe it. Just becaus ehe is your baby's daddy is not a good enough reason to marry him though I wish it were . If your baby is young, better to never marry than to marry and have it be a disaster and then put your child through a divorce later with all the garbage that goes with it. Please, be smart girl - be good to yourself. My best wishes to you and your little one.

ALLANA - posted on 01/23/2010

your already his wife! Marrige is but abit of paper love cover amulitude of sins is it just you that feels this i dont think he askyou if he didnt think youd be a good wife i made the mistake of not getting married i have four boys 7 6 4 and 3 everyone should get married once. I know im a crap cook im crap at cleaning but men love a womens faults if you cry they want to hold you if you burn the tea they ll get a take away the world dosnt end because your learning they respect you for being a good n=mum a good person to talk to and cuddle whts around you dosent matter you could live in a tent but together is where you want to be anybody who says otherwise either want your man or is a bitch be happy enjoy your wee family.

Lynne - posted on 01/23/2010

This sounds so heartwarming to my ears. I'd like to hear more from people like you! Thanks Vicenta! ♥

Vicenta - posted on 01/23/2010

I was nervous to get married, and got cold feet. But then I had the courage to go on. And you know, no ONE is perfect, we all have something wrong and we all do something wrong. The two of you will have to learn to deal with it. Don't think about just enjoy each other. I am married for 33 years, I still make mistakes and does he.

Lynne - posted on 01/23/2010

Pray about it, Friend! ♥

Anne - posted on 01/23/2010

Hunni marriage is no different than you are now and if he loves you now he will love you as his wife! It really is no biggie trust me I have been married for eight and a half years to my wonderful hubba. It also means that heaven forbid anything happens to you he won't have to fight the State for the kids, I have seen it and it really ain't nice. But if you love him it is only a piece of paper hunni at the end of the day, the rest is up to you xx Go for it what have you got to lose nothing with everything to gain xx

Julie - posted on 01/23/2010

Marriage is a lifelong commitment between the husband, wife and GOD. Without God in his life and yours, it would be a battle I would never want anyone to endure. If you are involved in church (even if your not), I would strongly recommend seeking marriage counciling - it will definately open your eyes on many things you might not have even thought of. And if he is not willing to commit to a few weeks of classes and being honest then, I would not want to waste my entire life and the life of my baby in a horrible, lying, fighting marriage. Just think of what that will teach your child. I'm a mom of a 5 year old daughter, a 10 yr old step-daughter, a wife of almost 3 years and most importantly a faithful servant of Jesus Christ for over 3 years. Without Him, I know I would not be a submissive wife and want to serve my husband (no matter what he does). I know my husband (also a faithful servant to Christ) would not respect me enough to put my needs ahead of his own. Marriage is never perfect, but Christ's Love is and it will guide you through the good and tough times that life will bring.

I like to pray and wait for God's answers - sometimes he answers - yes, sometimes no, and his hardest answer is WAIT. Time sometimes has to pass before he will reveal his response and for you to understand what he wants you to do. If deep down, you don't feel - (I'm sorrry that's not a strong enough word) - KNOW that God says to marry him, then say no or not now.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, this huge decission and your baby.
In God I Trust, Julie Poe

Lise - posted on 01/22/2010

I was with my husband for 14 years (since I was 17 he was 19) before we got married, nothing has really changed since the wedding. We are just as commited to each other now as we were then. GETTING MARRIED DOES NOT FIX RELATIONSHIPS!! It only makes it harder to leave. If you are not sure about his commitment to you (cheating) get that in order first with counselling ect. then maybe think about marriage. I question why you think you wouldn't be a good wife when he is the one that did the cheating. I would also get that figured out. Cheating was his decision not a reflection of you, remember that. Either way I wish you all the best.

Tessa - posted on 01/22/2010

I feel the same about marriage...I worry that things will change as well afterwards...and don't want to be in the kitchen when things get too hot....Also I worry that my son won't like this decision.....I guess what I will do when the time comes is the only advice I have to give....SUCK IT UP and SEE WHAT HAPPENS! Be confident in yourself because HE IS! otherwise why would he choose you...he obviously likes how good you are to him now! You said you want to do it.....DO WHAT YOU WANT.....It's either that or wonder and be scared the rest of your life....Marriage is like skydiving....Jumping is the hardest part and scary, but after you do it you would do it OVER and OVER again....Oh and p.s. I just saw the rest of the comments.....Seems like maybe you are not confident maybe because he cheated on you....I felt my son's dad and I were together just because of my son and I"m not with him now....there's more fish in the sea if you feel that way....NO reason to feel insecure all the time......Find someone faithful and then marry.

Karen - posted on 01/22/2010

only after seein de cheatin bit, sorry but i tink everyone deserves sum1 to be faithful to dem, ur de mother of his child and you deserve to be treated with respect. dont ever underestimate wat you are worth!!!

Laura Jill - posted on 01/22/2010

If he's been unfaithful why is he proposing marriage ? By definition marriage is a monogomous kind of gig, right ? You sound like an awesome lady, but I would encourage you to consider if things might work better for both of you if you both committed to "co-parenting" rather than marriage. It's not that people can't change after cheating - maybe he does realize that it's the biggest mistake he ever made, and he'll never do it again. Maybe. My concern though, is that he did it twice - so for whatever reason he's not behaving like a young man in a committed relationship. Getting married won't change that behaviour. Has he ever identified the reasons why he cheated on you, and figured out how he will not repeat that behaviour when/if he finds himself in a similar situation ? I'm not trying to be a downer - but I see way to many people marrying folks just because they share a child. It's not enough - sorry ! Good luck sorting through it all.

Jillian - posted on 01/22/2010

I'm married n never really questioned it because I knew for a long time that I wanted it. But if ur only worry is about being a "good wife" then I think u need to ask ur self what u feel is a "good wife" and then ask BD what he feels a "good wife" is and remember betwwen u and ur BD not anybody else. Don't let anybody or anything determine what a good wife is or should do, what works for others my not work for u!!! Good luck!!!

Karen - posted on 01/22/2010

i got married wen i was 22 yrs old, im cumin up to my 10yr anniversary soon. ive never regreted it not for one second. but i hav 2 say i never had any doubts at al bout acceptin my husbands proposal. so jus giv urself enuf time so dat u hav no doubts at al in wat ever decision u make. gud luk Brittney! also jus because u become a wife doesnt mean u hav 2 change ur stil de same person.

Deanna - posted on 01/22/2010

I say go for it! Good luck & Congratulations!

Dawn - posted on 01/22/2010

You have every right to be nervous if he has already cheated on you twice. That's not nervous about you being a good wife, that nerves about him being a good & faithful husband... In my opinion once a cheater always a cheater. Not that people aren't capable of change, but what people are capable of and what they actually do are two totally different stories. One reason I never married my DD father, even though we were engaged, is because he was a cheat. And guess what? He is married now, has a SD, and DD with his wife, and guess what? He still cheats all the time. And yells, and belittles his wife, doesn't hold a job, you know the type. He hasn't changed at all in the decade since we got together. We were 17 then, we're almost 30 now and he's the same ol' dog. Not even new tricks. LOL It's so bad my DD (who is 9) doesn't like to go over there because she picks up on all the tension. He's been married 5 years now so I guess that counts for something, but everytime my DD tells me stories from over there I just thank God I'm not his wife, and that's not my DD's everyday life. It took me a lot longer to find my Mr. Right but we have a strong marriage and a happy home. No matter what happens we will make it and come out happy. I'm glad I waited longer for a happy marriage instead of getting mixed up in a dysfunctional one years ago. If you think he has/can change at least make him show you BEFORE you get married. You guys already have a DD together, you will always have ties to one another, there is no reason to rush to sign a paper. And don't get married just for your DD. It won't work and she will be more miserable for it. My DD was 18mo when we split for good, and she's never known life any different. She knows her BD well enough to not even ask why we aren't together. We are night and day to her. She tells me she is GLAD her BD and I are not togehter. Not that she doesn't love her BD, but she sees how he is and life her sisters have. And she loves her SD. He is daddy to her, even though she was 7 when we were married. Do what you think is best for you and your DD. Just because he is her BD does not mean marrying him is best!!

Kelli - posted on 01/22/2010

With the post before this last one

Kelli - posted on 01/22/2010

Agreed

Natasha - posted on 01/22/2010

I was with my husband for 5 &1/2 years before we married. The difference afterwards was "piece of paper". and there is a definite lull after the wedding for about a year afterwards. My husband and I both say the hardest thing was having our son. If you have made it through that, you can manage marriage. My husband and I have discussed being married and we both agree we feel more secure, even after we had bought a house and had shared finances for 5 years prior.



If you are comfortable with your relationship, then go for it. It is nice to be Mrs ..... and having beautiful wedding photos to show your kids/ grandkids.

Renae - posted on 01/22/2010

Ok sorry I just read your post. Getting married will not fix your relationship. If you are so much as wondering whether you are only together for your daughter then you absolutely should not get married. If you are not over his cheating you should absolutely not get married. Hats off to anyone who can forgive a cheater I dont know how you do it.

I dont know if you should even be in a relationship let alone considering marriage.

Ask yourself: are you with him because you love him? have you forgiven him? Is the he sort of man you really want to spend the rest of your life with? If you answer "no" or "I dont know" to any of these then do not get married.

You said it yourself: you thought he would change when your baby was born. WRONG! Men rarely change. They dont change because babies are born. They dont change because they get married. They only change if they CHOOSE to and WANT to change.

Renae - posted on 01/22/2010

I never saw getting married as being any different to living together. We were together 7 years before getting married and have now been together for 11 years. If you are a good "wife" now then you will be a good wife when you are married. Marriage shouldn't change anything. Get married when you are happy with things just the way they are.

Brittney - posted on 01/21/2010

yall all have some very good points!!!! a big reason im nervous is that he has cheated on me twice before and its kinnda hard to get over it, he's always telln me wut to do and i cant take that i thought he'd change once lia was born and he hasn't so im thinkin twice about marryin him. its ok if he does something its ok but if i do the same thing he has dne its not ok ... i kinda feel like the only reason we are together is cuz of Lia and thats not right. idk wut to do!!! i need sum major help!!!! :(

Karen - posted on 01/21/2010

Well, you are concerned about being a good wife. That's the first step. As a couple we loved each other very much. We agreed on everything while dating. When my hubby asked me I felt the same way.I was 18yrs. old, right out of high school. I have been married for 7 yrs. now. They expect you to be the way their mom was with them. For example, he wanted me to cook as good as her, clean as good as her, and have no problems with it. After that, everything went up hill from there. He soon grew up I guess and realised that he was expecting me to be somone I wasn't and not the woman he fell in love with. Although these problems come up every once in a while it's usually just a little bicker and it's done. We might have a medium dissagreement once every 6 months or so. A big problem once a year or so. You are wanting to be a good wife, make sure you are really in love with him. There is nooo doubt in your mind that he is the one. Cause marriage is a big step and yes it's diff. than just living together. Sometimes guys start to think that the ring they put on your finger gives them the right to control you. You are their's. Even the sweetest guys. You have to be understanding that it changes both your lives forever. There are going to be a lot of times where it gets tuff. But in the end, a beautiful relationship appears out of nowhere. It takes patience, taking the time to understand the other person, and COMMUNICATION!!!!!

BONNIE - posted on 01/21/2010

Just ask yourself is this the man I want to spend the rest of my life with? If the answer is yes then congrats start planning a wedding. If its no then dont do it. Good Luck

Dawn - posted on 01/21/2010

I was soooo incredibly nervous about marriage. Everyone I know (including my parents) has been divorced at least once, if not many times (again, my parents!), and my husband-to-be already had a failed marriage and I a failed engagment to my daughter's dad. What I did (and still do) that helped is just talked to my husband about it. I told him I didn't know what a wife was supossed to be and therefore didn't know if I would be any good at it. At first he laughed at me and thought I was being silly but with time he realized I was serious. We've been married now 2 years and it's been great, I wouldn't change it for the world, but there are times we still have the talks. I tell him a lot that I don't know what I was expecting, but what I got wasn't it! I don't mean it mean or anything, and he knows I love him. I'm slowly learning there is no perfect wife mold. We are all different and what works for one marriage will destroy another. I think it is important to start out your marriage open and honest and keep it that way. Be real with how you are feeling, no matter how hard it may seem. And talk to your b/f about what he is expecting as well. For us, my husabnd didn't know, as he also comes from a broken home and like I said, has a failed marriage in his past. He just knew he loved me and wanted to be with me all the time, but that doesn't make a marrige work. So we are figuring it out together, staying friends and staying honest with each other. We decided before we were ever married that divorce would not be an option. Hope that helps!!

Dawn - posted on 01/21/2010

I was soooo incredibly nervous about marriage. Everyone I know (including my parents) has been divorced at least once, if not many times (again, my parents!), and my husband-to-be already had a failed marriage and I a failed engagment to my daughter's dad. What I did (and still do) that helped is just talked to my husband about it. I told him I didn't know what a wife was supossed to be and therefore didn't know if I would be any good at it. At first he laughed at me and thought I was being silly but with time he realized I was serious. We've been married now 2 years and it's been great, I wouldn't change it for the world, but there are times we still have the talks. I tell him a lot that I don't know what I was expecting, but what I got wasn't it! I don't mean it mean or anything, and he knows I love him. I'm slowly learning there is no perfect wife mold. We are all different and what works for one marriage will destroy another. I think it is important to start out your marriage open and honest and keep it that way. Be real with how you are feeling, no matter how hard it may seem. And talk to your b/f about what he is expecting as well. For us, my husabnd didn't know, as he also comes from a broken home and like I said, has a failed marriage in his past. He just knew he loved me and wanted to be with me all the time, but that doesn't make a marrige work. So we are figuring it out together, staying friends and staying honest with each other. We decided before we were ever married that divorce would not be an option. Hope that helps!!

Justine - posted on 01/21/2010

Although it might seem like such a big step, all it really is is the signing of a paper that legally binds you two for life and through the eyes of God. I just got married in June to my high school sweetheart and baby daddy of 4 years, so we have been together for so long that the concrete part of marriage made us closer to work more as a team and have no excuse to just leave the relationship, but to work though it. Are you nervous because you are afraid he isn't the one? Sometimes during planning the wedding or thinking about it you might keep brainstorming in your head if he really is the one, but there must be a reason behind your feelings towards him, right? well that is love then. the world now keeps telling us to follow our heart, but our heart is also very connected to the infatuation feeling, but your mind, the little voice in your head, is what you should follow because your heart only likes the infatuation feeling, that's why people cheat. So I guess what I'm trying to say is don't be worried about the paper part of marriage, because if you truly do love him that after the wedding you won't feel those nerves, they will be gone! hope that helps a little!

Melissa - posted on 01/21/2010

If he asked you to marry him then you must already be a good wife, otherwise he wouldn't ask you. Do you feel he asked because you have a child together, or do you feel the proposal was genuine? Of course dont know either of you but you do have a child together so i assume both of you are ready for this type of commitment, I think having a child is a much bigger commitment then marriage. If you have doubts about his intentions then no i wouldn't get married.

Lauren - posted on 01/21/2010

also make sure its really what you want to do, going through a divorce is very hard as i have been through 1 and have chosen not to get married again thankfully i had no children with him,but now have a partner and 2 beautiful girls and am very happy,but dont just do it because you have a child with him.all the best !

Nikki - posted on 01/21/2010

i find it no different being married then when we dating the only thing different is a piece of paper, But if you are questioning this maybe you should sit down and weigh out the options everyone gets cold feet but if you find you are more worried then excited maybe you need to take a step back

Shaonli - posted on 01/21/2010

can tel u dis much marriage is d best thing if u get d right partner n don think 2 much abt making a good wife wd happen in the proces...i am having 2 yrs of experience...so dont think..just GET MARRIED...ALL D BEST