New baby daddy?

Eden - posted on 12/26/2012 ( 88 moms have responded )

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My 6th cousin and i have been spending a lot of time together as of late. We grew up together and have recently started hanging out together. My 1 year old son is crazy about him and my cousin has started talking about him and i getting married. Its an unusual situation but I'm not sure whether i should just go ahead and be with him or tell him no way. Any suggestions?

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[deleted account]

I wouldn't refer to him as a "cousin" per se; because it is only through marriage and so very distant. You do not share any blood if you are only related by marriage, and there would not be any legal issues there. Go with your heart and stop calling him your cousin ;) People won't have a problem if you don't. Best wishes.

Firebird - posted on 12/26/2012

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So wait a minute... are you saying that you are only related because his 3rd cousin married your 3rd cousin? That doesn't make you sixth cousins. You are very distantly related through marriage only.

Alma - posted on 12/27/2012

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The fact is there is no bloodline, hence he is an in-law, a far down the line in-law, I would say go for it. If he is willing to love and care for you and your son, what is the problem.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/30/2012

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Have you dated him yet though? I mean marriage is a big commitment either way, and you really need to get to know him on a romantic level. You may know him well from growing up with him, but if you have never been in a romantic relationship with him, how do you know if the marriage will even work? Do you even like him or are you just considering marriage because your kids like him and he makes a good father figure?

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Bianca - posted on 01/29/2013

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Its said in research that if they are not related from your mather's side you can marry them. But related through only marriage no problem their

Angel - posted on 01/18/2013

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Katie, I don't think it is the op calling him that anymore- other than the original post, it is everyone else who hasn't read all of the comments and figure out the real story

Katie - posted on 01/18/2013

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He's not your cousin, at all..6th generation cousin in law..no. Stop calling him that. lol

[deleted account]

Technically he is NOT your 6th cousin. Their is no blood line. 6th cousin would be like you and your 1st cousins kids 6 generations down the line! (I think) LOL Anyway, I don't think you have anything to worry about! If you two are happy together and want to be married go for it! Good Luck. :D

Jessica - posted on 01/17/2013

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Even if you shared a bloodline, genetically, once it's more than 5th cousin the odds of genetic diseases are the same as the general population.

Angel - posted on 01/16/2013

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They don't share any blood because it is a distant relative through marriage.

Jessika - posted on 01/16/2013

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do not worry about it... 6th cousins is so far apart you guys no longer share an actual blood line it may only seem weird to you because you guys grew up together.... you know he has feelings for you now ask yourself do you love him enough to marry him? if so then by all means get married to him

Anna - posted on 01/16/2013

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I would say that IS an awkward sounding situation, but since there is NO BLOOD RELATION, how would it be any different than, say, if I married my sister's husbands's younger brother? (Not that he has one...just the first example I could think of! I have actually known 2 brothers who.married 2sisters....obviously legal, but still a little weird to me. And before I came along, one of my now husband's brother & wife (so his sis in law) were trying to set him up with.the sis-inlaws younger sister....I recall he later told me that he was never fully on-board with it all, andonly emailed h couple of times, at his brother's insistence, bit then I came along, soheee thm a big fat NO! I Say if you DO go for it, it only sounds weird b/c the whole "married mycousin" thing. Must LEAVE THAT PART OUT and be happy, if its what you want. Best wishes.

Angel - posted on 01/13/2013

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There are no genetics about it, you are not related, his third cousin and your third cousin being married to each other is the only link and it is not a biological one. That does not make him your 6th cousin

Carol - posted on 01/12/2013

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I think that's genetically far enough apart, that is if you have it figured right.

Cecilia - posted on 01/10/2013

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I don't know if anyone mentioned this yet, but actually even if he is your first cousin you can marry in some states. http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/huma... There is not one state that even stops second cousins. most states don't even do blood testing http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_...

anyone concerned about children produced -- http://www.nytimes.com/2002/04/04/us/few...

I'd honestly say if it makes you happy do it.

Donovan - posted on 01/09/2013

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It has been said above: Make sure what the law says in your country. In our country, (South Africa), it seems like you might be able to get married, since the way you explain it, you aren't blood relatives. I know about other people that has the same kind of relationships, and they are doing just fine in their family situation. Test it with a couple of your family members 1st by asking them what they would think. And, make sure its not just feelings because of what your child says, but because of how the 2 of you really feel. Something like this could mean a lifetime together, or a separation from your family. Hope you make the right choice.

Angel - posted on 01/05/2013

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Friends of my parents family had two daughters who married two brothers too. Also, my gram's uncle is her cousin too. I don't know how. But I would say you two are not related. He is not your cousin. 3rd and 3rd cousin does not mean 6th cousin, so if you are happy with him then go for it, but I would just date for now. You don't want to rush into something.

Sarah - posted on 01/05/2013

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You are only related through marriage, and I probably wouldn't consider him your cousin at all really... If you care about him and can see it working great for you and your child go for it. My mother and her sister (my aunt)... Married my dad and his brother (my uncle). That is a weird one for everyone to grasp but my dad and aunt and uncle and mom are not related but by marriage.

Missy - posted on 01/04/2013

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Hi, that's an interesting place to be in :) It's rumored that my husband's grandparents were actually cousins.

I'm not sure that what would float in the 1930s would go over so well socially now, know what I mean? I'd pray on that one.

I will hope that you are able to make the best decision for you and your baby.

Huggs

CHRISTINA - posted on 01/03/2013

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My sister is married to my uncles nephew.....shocking... Not really .

My mother's sister (aunt) married a guy (uncle) who has a nephew .. No blood relation to my sister.

Stephanie - posted on 01/01/2013

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He is NOT your 6th cousin. Helen has the right idea. Not sure exactly what he is to you, but the "once removed thing" is more correct

Lilla - posted on 01/01/2013

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I've got 11 first cousins and so many second cousins that I don't even really know who they are. So honestly out of all the negative commenters which one of you guys can say you know all your 6th cousins, especially the ones that aren't even blood related!

Eden, you shouldn't bother with what anyone else thinks, I'm sure you already know the answer to your own question. Be happy! :)

Keri - posted on 01/01/2013

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I think being that far removed and not having any actual blood ties I say go for it. Most laws state you can't marry a 1st cousin or a step sibling (although I don't get that one) I don't think there are any rules about 6th cousins.

Faith - posted on 01/01/2013

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In the book of Genesis Abraham married his sister, Jacob married his 1st cousin, it was a common practice through out the bible. Be happy!

ENID - posted on 01/01/2013

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My mothers parents were full cousins. They got married, had 5 sons and 2 daughters. All well and healthy. If you love each other, Go For It. Be happy xxx

Dove - posted on 01/01/2013

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READ the responses before you slam on this woman. Her third cousin married his third cousin. There is NO BLOOD relation and only a distant marital relation.

Amy - posted on 01/01/2013

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Yeah its called insest,he is your cousin and by blood family,it doesn't matter weather its first cousin or 10th. He is blood related.

Andrea - posted on 12/31/2012

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Your 3rd cousin is married to his 3td cousin, then you are on ly cousins thru marriage. I think it's totally fine. If you married him before your 3rd cousins got married then u wouldn't even have been related. Don't listen to negative comments on here. If you love him marry him!

Melissa - posted on 12/31/2012

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I have cousins in my family that are married. Sometimes it can mess the genes up in the kids. Be careful and do a lot of research....

Danielle - posted on 12/31/2012

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I would say you are not blood related so it should all be fine. I would say however only marry him if you love him

Brandi - posted on 12/30/2012

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If you were raised as cousins, I'd say no way! I have family that are not actually blood related but we were raised just like we were cousins...my mom's sister married their dad's brother. Even that would be way too weird for me.

Patricia - posted on 12/30/2012

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Do NOT follow your heart. LEAD your heart to what is best for each of you. If you don't know how you feel about it, then don't do it until you DO know how you feel with a certainty. It's not about the bloodline thing, it's about making a mistake that will have long term effects on each of you. Your child is counting on YOU to make the right decision, don't do it because you think it's what your child wants. You're the adult and need to determine if this person is someone you love, respect, admire; a good man that your child will grow up to emulate and that will be able to support and care for your family. Don't marry just because you've nothing better to do.

Judy - posted on 12/30/2012

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Follow your Heart, that is the main thing that matters! If you can see yourself being Married to him and being Happy then by All means, go for it! If you can also see him as Good Dad, that means a lot! You are not related as you said, so you have no reason to worry. Much Happiness to you!

Susan - posted on 12/30/2012

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If the relationship is by marriage, there's no genetic or moral reason to avoid a relationship. That you're considering this to be a problem suggests that you're not necessarily ready to take things further at this time, though. Why don't you give it more time and see how things go?

Aeryn - posted on 12/30/2012

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He's technically your 4th cousin in law. If your 2nd cousin married someone's 2nd cousin, the baby wouldn't be your 4th cousin, it would be your 3rd. You don't add them together. After 3 comes 4 so it's your 4th cousin. And in law at that. So there is no bloodline. Is it strange? Yes. Have I seen worse yes. Notice though I said strange not disgusting. You have no blood. It's hard because I consider all in laws blood whether or not they are. But in your situation it wouldn't be defined as unnatural. If you care about him then see how things go. But don't call him your cousin lol and don't allow any negativity from others to effect how you feel. It's your decision only, not theirs.

Helen - posted on 12/30/2012

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Actually Evelyn, your father's cousin is your first cousin, once removed (as in once removed from the common relative). Your father's cousin's children are your second cousins.

Holly - posted on 12/30/2012

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In my opinion if you weren't raised together and don't share any blood then go for it IF you are in love with him and he you. The sixth cousin part in this situation is just semantics.

Marquetta - posted on 12/30/2012

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Frist of all that is a cousin. It doses manner if is is ur first cousin. Or 6th cousin it is in the blood line so I will tell him no but you are related

Sharon - posted on 12/30/2012

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If his 3rd cousin married your 3rd cousin, I'd say you're in-law cousins, too, which would make marrying him perfectly fine. As long as you're not related by blood, I'd say it's perfectly fine.

Kerry - posted on 12/30/2012

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I recommend that you consult with a genetic counselor to discuss your ethnicity and any issues that may be in your family history which could affect future children you two may have. To find one near you: http://www.nsgc.org/ click on "find a genetic counselor" near the top.

Denise - posted on 12/30/2012

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Pray about it. If you and he feel at peace, go for it. In Il 2nd cousin can marry.

Crystal - posted on 12/30/2012

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Why do you even call yourselves cousins? Sounds to me like there's no relation.

[deleted account]

Then he is technically NOT your cousin because there is no blood relation. Problem solved. I wouldn't suggest rushing into a marriage because your son is crazy about him. You want to make sure this is right for YOU and your son.

Terez - posted on 12/30/2012

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First off I understand why you calling him your cousin. You guys grew up together and that is how the family explained the relationship. But he is not your cousin he is a distant inlaw if you count those things. I don't believe you should settle based on his feelings and your sons feelings alone. This all hinges on you and how you feel about him. If you can't get past the play play cousin situation then leave him alone. If you can then STOP telling people he's your cousin. Date him and see what happens.

SHAKWELLA - posted on 12/30/2012

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Just read some comments & Hell yeah u can marry him u guys r not related at ALL if he makes u happy & the shoe fits then wear it Sweetie

SHAKWELLA - posted on 12/30/2012

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May I ask how r u guys related?To? me after ur 4th ur not relatives my opinion, but it is Gross to marry into a situations like that

Mickie - posted on 12/29/2012

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He's not your cousin, so stop calling him that and it'll take away the awkwardness. If you have feelings for him, then explore them and see what happens. but why would you rush into marrying anyone? you're young, find out what makes you happy and then follow that. If you're happy and in a healthy relationship, you'll be an even better mom to your kiddo.

Alexis - posted on 12/28/2012

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anything 3rd cousin and further is legal and geneticaly safe, i really wouldnt worry about it.

Pamela - posted on 12/28/2012

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I don't recall counting cousins past the 3rd attachment. What do you consider a 6th cousin? That might help to clarify any answer I could offer.

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