New baby not getting enough attention because of older brother

Jackie - posted on 01/16/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 2.5 year old and a 2 month old. It seems that the older one gets all the attention and my little one doesn't get enough attention as he should because the older one is so demanding. Does this happen with anyone else or does anyone have any suggestions? I feel like a bad parent to the baby.

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Chrystal - posted on 01/16/2012

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I felt that way when my second was born my son was a year old and he has always been a high needs baby so he took a lot of focus but then I realized that my daughter was happy and I didn't need to stress so much about it she asked for attention when she needed it. Now that she is 7 months we can all play as a group and she gets all the attention she wants. If you really think about it at 2 months they are awake a lot of times that a 2.5 year old is asleep. I can remember evenings, nap times for my son, middle of the night she really did get a lot of personal attention. I'm sure yours gets those alone times with mom too.

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from what i've heard it happens all the time and you're not a bad parent. like the other ladies before me have said, newborns only care about being close to mommy, eating, and sleeping. so get yourself a sling for that wee one and hug him close. and maybe try to defer your oldest one's attention to something else when you feel you need to devote more time to the wee one. cardboard boxes are the shizz to kids from about this age until closer to teens. (at least they were for me and still would be if i could fit!) cheap, wonderful fun.

Kaitlin - posted on 01/16/2012

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Totally normal- but you know what? it's okay! Newborns 'needs' are different than a toddler's. They sleep more. (win!) They zone out more. In comparison, they can be 'easier'. Does your toddler nap? This can be some great one on one time, (screw the dishes) And when you feed (breast OR bottle) try going naked, if you can (ngiht feedings?) so you can get that skin to skin bonding. I think at this age, this type of thing, it's really common, and I think it affects us moms more than our children. Don't worry- you aren't a bad mom, you're a SUPER MOM that obviously does it all ;)

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It's normal. Get a sling or carry pouch for baby and then he can be with you all the time and feel your body against him. That's all he needs at this young age and as he gets a bit bigger and more alert he can start being included in what ever you are doing with your toddler. It's hard sometimes, but you can find way to give them both attention. And don't be hard on yourself.

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