No justice!

Amanda - posted on 12/09/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Ok I need some advice. Ive always been raised to forgive people no matter what and I think Ive done a good job up until now. My 6 yr old used to call my ex dad until a yr ag when my husband and I got married. He then started calling my husband dad. My ex is not the biological father. He used to visit him and I would allow sleepovers rom time to time. I had to take my son away from my ex a couple times due to him stalking me and suicide attempts. My husband and I were told if we found bio dad we could do the doption process ourselves. well when we found him and met up it turns out the law had changed and we needed a lawyer. My ex in the meantime was seen at my house many times playing in the yard with the dog. He started showing up without calling. Then he dropped my son off with me and told me he filed fr custody and pretty soon I would never see my son again. I got scared so I took my son way from him and went to a lawyer. We went through with the adoption and a judge granted it. We now have to wait for the decree. My ex and I had a hearing and the judge was so mad at my lawyer that he didnt listen to anything we had to say. I couldnt tell him anything. He put a temporary order in place until my husband gets home from deployment. He gave my ex loco parentis status and many rights. I am now very scared I will never see my son again. Many kids disappear every year. This judge I feel wouldve made a different decision had he just listened to the facts. Now my ex is trying to stop the adoption. He is lavishing my son with gifts and trying to get him to call him dad again. I had no rights in he courtroom and I ow feel I have no rights over my child. Any advice?

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Amanda - posted on 12/09/2012

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He is not on the birth certificate. I ended things with him because he became abusive. Over the yrs he has bonded with my son however he has also stalked me numerous times. He has yelled at me then put flowers on my car the next day while he was with a girl. He had to stay in the psych ward for a couple days due to suicide attempts and recently we've caught him at our house when noone is home playing with our dog inside the gate. Then he told me he was filing for custody and Id never see my son again.

Angela - posted on 12/09/2012

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In England, if the child's father is not legally married to the mother or isn't around or isn't willing to have his name on the birth certificate, the "father" bit is left blank. The mother can't insist on the registrar writing a certain man's name on the birth certificate if she is not married to him and he isn't there with her. In fact if he's not there to verify he is the child's father, the registrar will not name him on the certificate.



Unfortunately, in the case of absentee fathers, some women get the name of the man they're currently with on the birth certificate (even though he isn't the father) if he is agreeable - and also in order to not have the blank space.



I have no idea what name Amanda Deivert has on her son's birth certificate. But if her ex partner has had input in this child's life and has bonded with him, then some judges would be sympathetic.

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Is the ex on his Bc? Or is his bio dad? I'm confused I guess. I wouldn't see where the ex has any rights if he's not the bio dad or on the Bc.

Angela - posted on 12/09/2012

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Sounds like the ex, although he's not the biological father, has raised the boy and bonded with him. He therefore is not willing to relinquish fatherhood to her new husband.

Amanda - posted on 12/09/2012

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Everyone I talk to is in shock to this. My family has tried turning our lives around and started going to church, living life the way God would want us to. We were all so very happy. I feel like I will never get this man out of my life!

Michelle - posted on 12/09/2012

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I am lost here if your ex is not the biological father to this child than he should not have any rights to the child. I would go back to your lawyer and find out what the hell happened here.

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