no security item

Monica - posted on 01/12/2009 ( 33 moms have responded )

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My son ethan is almost 12 months old & he does not have any "security item" hes attached to. my mother in law has been insisting he needs to have one. I have tried sending him with the same blanket or teddy bear everywhere he goes but he doesn't seem to be interested & does not show any sort of attachment. Do some kids just not need these security items ? I can't say i'm worried about it but just wondering what others think.

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Susan - posted on 01/13/2009

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I have a 7 year old and he has never had a "security item" and he is fine.  It actually made my life easier because I didn't have to worry about loosing it, or leaving it some where it made life much easier.  best of luck, just tell your mother in law you are his security item :)

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Patricia - posted on 04/04/2011

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i don't think it would hurt to have a security item or a few so in case one gets lost. if he never slept with a blankie or a stuffed animal he doesn't know what he's missing. it's more convenient for the moms to not have to worry about it and it's not necessary, but i'm wondering, as a choice, if it would've helped with their security. you can never have too much security. i think the funniest story i can tell is when my son wanted to take his chuckie cheese stuffed animal to school with him and it was almost as big as him. lol!

Erika - posted on 01/13/2009

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My son is almost three and has never had any sort of security item.  He never even took a binky or a bottle and he has been just fine.  In fact, I think it makes things much easier when I have to drop him off somewhere to be tended or going to sleep.  Instead of a security item, he plays with his belly button to go to sleep!  It's funny, I know.  He started twirling his hair when he was less than a year, but when we buzzed his hair, he went to his belly button and never went back.  I like it because he is never without it and I don't have to ever get another one and it's pretty inconspicuous too.  We didn't train him to do this, so I'm not sure if this exact same thing would work for your son Ethan, but my point is that he has never had a security object and is turning out just fine.  I also have a daughter that is 14 months and is not attached to anything either.  I think some kids have to have things and some kids can do just fine without them.  Hope this helps, or at least makes you laugh.  Good luck.

HelenJane - posted on 01/13/2009

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My son doesn't have a security item either, I have also tried him with a couple of different blankets, and he doesn't sleep with anything but his soother, and most times he spits that out once he is asleep anyway.

My aunt suggested that he needed a blanket, but apparently as of yet he hasn't choosen anything yet.

Samantha - posted on 01/13/2009

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Please dont loose sleep over this! dose he look you in the eye? or react to stimulus? or enjoy some things more than others? if his only problem is no lovie than wait a few months. My son was 15 months before he got attatched to objects now he drags his blankie EVERYWHERE. You will end up loosing sleep over the posability of miss placing a lovie, so dont spend too much time worrying about not having one.

Beth - posted on 01/13/2009

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My daughters now 2 years and has only just developed an attachment. It's to a dreamcatcher and she calls it 'bodyguard'. Idon't think your the one who shud be worried! lol x

Beck - posted on 01/13/2009

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i have 3 girls 4yo 16months and 6months none of them have a security item... they all have a dummy at bed time (except the eldest but she did when younger) and they like to know its atleast in their bed but not really a drama if its not



i find it good not to have a security item.....

Tammie - posted on 01/13/2009

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Trust me... you are very lucky that he has not attached himself to anything! lol My oldest who is now 6 still sleeps with his Pooh Bear, which is a short baby blanket with the head attached. We just went to Disney and he insisted that I pack it.  My second son didn't have anything until Daddy came home one day with a stuffed Patrick (from Spongebob) when he was three. Since then, Patrick sleeps with him. My youngest likes sleeping with his puppet he just got for Christmas.



All three of my sons are very outgoing, loving and secure with themselves. They receive a lot of love and attention from their father and I. We have a nightly routine of baths, books and hugs & kisses. I don't believe that needing or wanting a blanket or anything at night is a sign of insecurity. Their "security item" could also be a sign of their imaginary friend. Additionally, most kids are afraid of the dark and knowing their favorite blanket, animal, etc. is beside them gives them a sense of being safe from monsters under the bed, in the closet, or whatever their imaginations come up with. lol



Just be glad you don't have to throw an extra item in the wash! lol,lol

Hanna - posted on 01/12/2009

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Your son does not need a security item -- the chances are he is balanced and gets enough attention/parental support & he's independent enough that he just doesn't need one -- he is secure in himself in and out of the home. you should be happy for him -- it's a sign of a good balanced household & parenting skills :)

Amy - posted on 01/12/2009

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Some kids don't need a security item. My 4 year old daughter never had a "security item" until she was 3 years old. At that time, we had taken her to see Sesame Street Live. She developed a new love for Elmo and ever since then has slept with her Elmo doll. She doesn't have to have it every time she goes to bed though, sometimes she just wants to sleep with a baby. There isn't anything wrong with kids not having a "security". Think of it this way, it will be one less thing you will have to wean them from later.

Venessa - posted on 01/12/2009

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he doesn't have to have a security item. it's not a bad think. sometimes security items are more to put the parents at ease. if you want him to have one you can cuddle up to whatever you want that item to be so it has your "smell" on it because kids are more apt to be attached to something of that sort. There is nothing wrong with having one but there is a lot of worry in having one. you always have to know where it is at all times, if it's missing good luck!. because it goes everywhere it is constantly being washed. if he chooses one make sure you have a backup. the same exact one just rotate it.

Alexandra - posted on 01/12/2009

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my daughter, now 3-and-a-half, never had a security item, although she always had plenty she could have picked from. I guess she was always secure enough :). And we never noticed any negative effect on her

Jill - posted on 01/12/2009

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You should be overjoyed he doesn't cling to one particular item! You never have to worry about leaving it somewhere, having it on long trips or making sure it's clean in time for naptime.

If your son is happy without a "security item" then you should be happy too. It sounds like he is secure in himself and what is around him which is great!

Nicole - posted on 01/12/2009

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I usaully find around 16 mths is when they start to attach to some thing and usually only they know whats that going to be..i have also heard that it takes 100 times before a child really notices something.......p.s when u notice him attach to something buy back ups there safety in numbers trust me......then rotate the item with its twin for even wear in case there of the dreaded omg my fave toy is lost......

Carolyn - posted on 01/12/2009

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My son is now 19 months old and never really had anything like that, until recently.  I only live a couple of blocks from my work and his daycare so I take him everywhere in the stroller.  With in now being winter and pretty cool here, I take a blanket in the stroller for him.  the last week or so he seems to think he can't leave the house without it.  but i think that's more routine then anything.  We took him out for the day in the car a few days ago and he wanted to take it with him.  Other then that he's never been that attached to anything.

Starla - posted on 01/12/2009

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My son is 17 months old and has never had one. Did you ask your doctor if it was important? Chances are if you are a stay at home mom... you are his security and if not perhaps he is just secure that you will always come back for him, and you have made him very comfortable in his surroundings.

Kristi - posted on 01/12/2009

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Some children get attached to items, some kids get attatched to people, and some never even get attactched to anything. it's all in the child's temperament. His not being attatched to anything isn't anything to worry about, just think, he doesn't need the extra "security" what does that tell you? He's already secure! Mine doesn't have anything he's attatched to, and I give praise everytime we go somewhere that I don't have to track down that one special item for him.

Terri - posted on 01/12/2009

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My daughter had her binkie in the crib at a year. At around 17 months, she became attached to her "lammie". But that kinda quickly came and went somewhat. She still likes her lammie, but doesn't have to carry it around all the time. Her crib lovies stay in her crib and I think we could easily have any substitution if on a vacation or something. I also think it's totally normal to not have any security items. At least you don't have to worry about taking it away at some point later!

Pati - posted on 01/12/2009

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You are lucky that he is secure on his own. My daughter was as well oh she had toys and soft things to take along but there was never anything she HAD to have.  One of my nieces had a pillow and her parents had to back track 150 miles to retrive it once. She could not sleep with out it.

Pati - posted on 01/12/2009

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You are lucky that he is secure on his own. My daughter was as well oh she had toys and soft things to take along but there was never anything she HAD to have.  One of my nieces had a pillow and her parents had to back track 150 miles to retrive it once. She could not sleep with out it.

Nichol - posted on 01/12/2009

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Not EVERY child needs a "security item". For all you know his security could be sucking his thumb, tongue, etc. or even twisting his hair. No offense to the mom-in-law, but she needs to not force something that is obviously not needed!

Mary - posted on 01/12/2009

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Don't force it. My oldest 3 never had a "security item" and they're just fine. However, my 3 year old has her "Bezu bear" that she drags everywhere, ever since she was a month old (she was given him while back in the hospital at 4 weeks for failure to thrive and the darned thing was the only thing that kept her from crying.) I'm dreading the day he either falls apart or she loses him permanently (we've "lost" him at the beach, grocery store, WalMart, you name it) because she cannot sleep without him.

Silvana - posted on 01/12/2009

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perhaps my daughter is still too young(7mths) and i'm a first time mom, but i personally am not pushing anything on her and she also has a few different things that keep her occupied and i also agree with what someone mentioned that your child may already feel secure and does not need a security item.

Cheryl - posted on 01/12/2009

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My little boy is almost 2 (you don't know how hard it is for me to write that right now) and he has nooo security item.  That is fine don't push one if one is not needed.  That just means that he feels secure.  My little boy normally is only around just me, dad and grandparents, when he is around extended family he is a little clingy, but he doesn't need a security object even then and he only clings now for a short period of time before he is off and running around their house and playing.  Not saying it will change for you little guy it might, normally if they feel secure they don't need something to make them secure.  I have a security item no I don't take it every where but I can't get rid of it even though its worn out, I actually have two, a blanket from my birth mom and my pink kitty that my adopted grandma gave me to take to the hospital when I had to have surgery when I was 7.  I not going to say how old I am lol but some people need those items around just to feel safe or in my case because both objects are just to sentamental to me and I can't let go.

Kristen - posted on 01/12/2009

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My little one is 16 months and has never had one. I agree with the other posters--you must just have a secure little boy!

Vanessa - posted on 01/12/2009

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My kids have had different "security items" off and on depending on their moods. I think some kids just don't need them and I certainly wouldn't recommend trying to force it on him. I am not a fan of children who are so attached to something that they can't live without it. It's fine to have a favorite thing, but it's quite a different story to have a meltdown and not be able to sleep without it! I'd say you're doing great without doing anything- he seems like a very secure kid without any items.

Jennifer - posted on 01/12/2009

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my daughter never attached to anything at all, and she's a happy healthy soon-to-be 4 year old. However, from just a few weeks old, my son loved to sleep with his "lovey" bear, a bear with a blanket attached. He now carries it everywhere and I'm constantly worried about losing it. I had to find a "spare" one on ebay since the maker discontinued the item, and it cost me $30!! But, peace of mind is comforting and at least I know I have a spare on just in case. Be glad your son hasn't attached to anything, it's much easier to not have to deal with it or have to worry about de-taching him from anything.

Katie - posted on 01/12/2009

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My son never had any item he was attached to. He was attached to me. I was his security blanket. I think the idea that a kid needs an item like this is ridiculous. And think of it this way, you don't have to worry about leaving the security item somewhere and your child having anxiety issues about losing it.

Missy - posted on 01/12/2009

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I'm sure your son is fine - I think it's only needed if the child shows attachment to the parent - like cannot go to sleep without their mom or dad.  My 24 month old has changed her security item several times - she was addicted to Nuks (until she chewed them and they all broke 6 weeks ago.)  She also loves these 4 little blankets that were made for her by Grandmas & Aunts.  She used to carry them everywhere - but now, only needs them at nap time.  In the last week, she's gotten very attached to a Zoie stuffed toy - takes it grocery shopping and everything.  But the other night, she insisted that Zoie go on time out and not sleep with her.  I think each child is different.  My daughter didn't show interest in her blankets until 15 months - it will happen naturally if it happens at all.

Odette - posted on 01/12/2009

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My son is 5 years old now. I too, tried to get him attached to several different items when he was an infant and toddler. He just didn't care for it. Some children don't need that kind of security at all. I wouldn't read into it. I think it worked out for the best because it's not something I need to break him of now that he's in Kindergarten. :)

Joni - posted on 01/12/2009

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I have always heard that child that do not have that "security item" are highly sercure themselves.  They do not feel that they have to have that extra security.  My daughter will be a year on the 17th and she does not have that one thing that she has to have.  She has a blankie but it is not a must for her.  Hope this helps... :)

Tasha - posted on 01/12/2009

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We have a favorite blanket/baby but many substitutes at our house. If they don't need something specific I would enjoy it. I have to many friends that have to drive back and get a "lovey" because thier child will NOT function without it and sleeping is out of the question. Don't push anything on him. My 16 month old found a blanket she likes the most after she turned 1, but she doesn't have to have that one. My husband was big on rotating items so we had a fall back item.

User - posted on 01/12/2009

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I think not.  Both of my kids are content and happy and never had that security item.  They love use their imaginations!  I had a cousin that had a blanket when we were kids, she took it every where and could be without it even at age 10!  I think your son is secure and does have the need for the item. 

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