no sexual want or need?

Anastasia - posted on 04/05/2010 ( 20 moms have responded )

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Its been 8 months now , and it took me a long dramatic 8 months of recovery from me having my son which i hope is truely over by now. By now ive had sex and wanted it several times, but only several...out of 8 months. am i the only retard whos lost my sex drive? I use to be a fanatic, wild, and crazy...what the hell happened to me?!?! = (

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Valerie - posted on 04/05/2010

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lol well having been married for 14 years and had 5 children with one more on the way...I have rode the sexual desire rollarcoater many of times, and I've been up on the coaster when my husband was down on the coaster, honestly stress, work, and children do effect your sex drive. My advice, keep the romance and the cuddles and the gentle touch, even if it feels fake just do it because it builds the relationship and it's that relationship and bond that carries you through the no sex for ever stage. People say marriage is work and so is a sex life with your partner. Somtimes you just need to do the 5 min quick thing and it feels like why am I doing this its just 5 min and I'm not in the mood, but you would be suprised at how the 5 minutes releases hormones inside you afterwards that says, hey...hmmmm I'll see you again real soon :) Sex isn't justromance sometimes it's purley a physical response and sometimes its just being next to each other and cuddling without the sex, but if you keep the relationship going and put in the effort to let the oher person know they are still appreciated but also that they still turn your head even if your not "horny" than the sex will come back. It might leave again and come back but that's normal...just enjoy the time you guys have together :)

Melanie - posted on 04/05/2010

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I wish you all the best. I haven't wanted to have sex since my youngest was born and that was 12 years ago. It is definitely causing trouble between my husband and I even though I give in to make him happy.

Phyllis - posted on 04/05/2010

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I have not had an interest in sex in 4 years. My husband is so frustrated, but not only do I not care if I ever have sex again, but when I do give in for his sake, I do not even enjoy it one little bit. You are not a retard.

Kristin - posted on 04/05/2010

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It's the hormones, stress, lack of sleep, miscommunication with partner, etc. that come with parenting. Talk to your doctor about it and be really honest and open. They can help or direct you to help if you really want it.

Amber - posted on 04/05/2010

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I got my sex drive back after about 8 months, then it went away again after she turned 14 mos. Now its coming back again. Your hormones will take a while to adjust. Especially if you breast feed, your hormones are still whacked! Plus, now there are soo many things to stress about or take care of. Its hard being a mommy!

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Roxanne - posted on 04/06/2010

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my babys 7months old and i never ever feel like doing it, though my partner sometimes can get me in the mood.
before it was always me wanting it (my partner has never been into into it) but now we do it maybe once every couple weeks, its very different... i also hope it comes back soon, sorta miss it heaps : )

Carol - posted on 04/05/2010

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I have a 7 yr old and a 4 yr old and my seven yr old has adhd and bipolar I work full time was doing school and support my whole household on just my income and my man gets mad when I won't have sex with him....He laughs at me and says that im crazy to think once aday is alot to have sex....I can have sex maybe twice a month and b happy but he wants it at least once a day..Im so worn out and drained i dont know what to do anymore..

Joanna - posted on 04/05/2010

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My daughter is 2 1/2 and I can probably count how many times I've had sex since she was born on 2 hands and a foot. The pregnancy hormones sometimes seem to just dampen your libido.

Rebecca - posted on 04/05/2010

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My sex drive went away and my Husband and I only did it about once a month. My son is now 13 months old and a couple of months ago it just came back all of a sudden. Now it happens about once a week if not more!

Anastasia - posted on 04/05/2010

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its kinda releiving to know im not the only one but kinda depressing for the future cause i dont know if it will ever come back = ( ... btw Andrea Im sorry to hear of your loss... it hit me in the heart and im so sorry. But back onto subject thank you ladies! I hope to dear god my sex drive comes back ... i could never imagine myself like this and i feel so different.

Leslie - posted on 04/05/2010

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The same thing happened to me. My daughter is 2 and my son is 1, and I think I'm just too tired, busy, and overwhelmed to want sex. I feel terrible for my husband...I have gone through the motions for him. I am finally starting to want it more often, but NOTHING like I used to. I love my kids to death, but they definitely took the sex drive right outta me. I've joked with my friends that it's my body saying "NO MORE!".

Andrea - posted on 04/05/2010

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Gee, am I ever glad I'm not the only one! My son just turned a year old and to be honest I could never have sex again...it wouldn't bother me...lol! He was in the hospital for 5 weeks so I was stressed to the max. My other son (they're twins) died when he was 2 days old so I added depression to that. I hope someday I will back to 'normal'.

KARRIE - posted on 04/05/2010

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it's horomones...after almost 11 years I still have a lack of sex drive for the most part. i've tried horomone replacement-didn't work. I have found that aromatherpy does help, it brings stress levels down, yoga helps to center your mind, and pheromnes do wonders after a while. But most importantly, you have to satisfy yourself before you can satisfy someone else. And just a note: sex is a stress reliever ( according to drs)

Stevie - posted on 04/05/2010

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nope my son is 16 months almost 17 here soon and i still hardly want it im pregnant with another and ive had a couple of times i kinda want it some but yeah just like katarina said i will do it for my husband cuz i feel bad for not wanting it cuz i know he still wants it all the time...

Anastasia - posted on 04/05/2010

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Gosh I totally understand where Amber is coming from. I think stress is a HUMUNGEOUS turn off for me! or maybe i think and stress so much and i know ive gotta take care of EVERYTHING or everything will fall apart i dont have the mind space or time to think about sex ... and deffinetly maybe its got alot to do with hormones! i just wish they would balance out already if there so out of whack like i said im dying to want sex as much as my husband does ...

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It’s all hormones and maybe your bodies way of protecting it from trauma. I mean think about the trauma your body goes through in childbirth. You need to give them a boost, try date nights. It doesn’t necessarily have to end in sex. Unfortunate, this happens a lot in women and the men end up becoming depressed over it because some think they did something wrong or that they are no longer cared for. Other times it can be a form of post partum. Try talking to your doctor of a counselor. I was in the same boat as you, except my husband was a jerk from the beginning and cheated. I think my pregnancy made me think a lot.

Rebecca - posted on 04/05/2010

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hi yer i dont have a sex drive i didnt even after my 1st child than i did it for my bf than all of a sudden i was pregs again lol my daughter is 6 months old and we still have not doone it.. my partner isnt really fussed about this he just says when im ready...

Anastasia - posted on 04/05/2010

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&& when i was pregnant i didnt want it either to boot! = / ...i even slowly realized i didnt want sex before i found out i was pregnant ... (i found out at 3 months)

Anastasia - posted on 04/05/2010

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I really would do the same because i know how depriving it is, it sucks so bad cause i didnt even realize i didnt think of sex till he asked me if i did the other day and i was like "wow ...i guess i really dont! " I dont feel a need or want for it but i want to want it if that makes any sense lol i need to see a sex therapist = (

Katarina - posted on 04/05/2010

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My son is a year old and my sex drive HASN'T returned since he's been born. I have absolutely no sex drive whatsoever. You're not alone! I find on some occassions I'll do it just because I feel bad for my husband

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