Not really a question about kids, but I need opinions...

Kate CP - posted on 04/06/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I'm not entirely sure what I should do at this point. My husband and I have a home, pay a monthly mortgage and currently I'm really wanting to just sell the house and get an apartment. Let me explain why:

The foundation needs to be repaired at a cost of at least 20k

The retaining walls (6 total) need to be replaced

The 6 foot privacy fence needs to be replaced

The Garage door needs to be fixed (it won't move)

The back door needs to be replaced

All doors need to be re-hung after the foundation is fixed

Carpets need to be stretched or replaced after foundation is fixed

Tiles need to be relaid after foundation is fixed

Windows need to be replaced (if cracked) after foundation is fixed

The Plumbing needs work

And the newest discovery...something has crawled into the walls of my closet in the master bedroom and died. Yes it smells and it smells BAD.

My husband (and my parents) really think I should keep the house because it's a net worth, it's an investment, I have something to show for the money I spend monthly on mortgage, I have a back yard for the kiddo and dogs...yadda yadda yadda. But I have to be honest...I'm miserable. I hate coming home. I can't stand having people come over to my house because it's such a wreck. I'm afraid the house is about to fall down around my ears. I really really don't know what to do. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't want this house and I'm absolutely miserable...and no body else seems to care. So I am asking you, ladies...what do you feel are the pros and cons of living in an apartment versus a house? Do you think I should put my foot down and demand we move? I'm at my wits end. I'm really stuck.

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Right now we are house hunting. From a buyers perspective you will need to fix everything wrong with the house in order to sell or or be prepared to take a loss. The market is so soft now, that even if it were in perfect shape, you would probably sell it for less than what you wanted. Thats the bad news. The good news is that interest rates are at an all time low and you should be able to get a home repair loan or construction loan to make all the repairs. Since you are going to have to make repairs regardless, I would get a loan, repair the major stuff (landscaping is something you can do a bit at a time over the summer... so unless its something major, I wouldn't spend money on it  yet) and then look around and see how you feel about selling. You may change your mind.



 



PS... Light a fire under your husbands butt. Remind him that it is his house too and to man up and help fix it. OR show him how much it will cost to have someone else do it vs. doing it yourselves... that may fire him up as well!

Elizabeth - posted on 04/06/2009

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I understand your feelings, but it will be hard to sell the house without fixing the issues it has. Apartment living sucks when you have a dog.  It'll be hard but maybe if you can fix your house, you'll love it! If not look into renting a townhome or a house.



Good luck with everything!

Kate CP - posted on 04/06/2009

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Thank you for all your input, ladies. A little update to the house issue. Found the thing that was dead and had the pest control guy remove it. It was a rat about a foot long (not including the tail). Yes, I have rats...big ones. So we baited the attic, all the boxes...and now I have a box fan pumping that stink out of my bedroom window. The reason why my parents have a say in this matter is because my father co-signed on the mortgage. They actually really supported the idea of us moving into a house and every day I kick myself because of it. Now I have a 3 year old and two dogs, a husband who likes to have a house but doesn't like to work on it (I get to do ALL the repairs by myself or call the repair company) and won't help me with yard work so the yard looks like total butt. I really don't want to move into an apartment...I just don't want to have to do all the work and upkeep of a house. And I know that if I want to own my home I have to do it all. But renting means (or should mean) that I can pawn the work off on the landlord. Another thing that really has a lot of effect on whether or not we move is the fact that I want another baby. Not pregnant yet, don't know when I will get pregnant, but I do want a second child and I know that it'll be really hard to do in an apartment. I guess more than anything I just feel like I'm all alone. Again, thanks for the comments. I really do appreciate it. :)

Jessica - posted on 04/06/2009

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tough choice and something you and your husband need to decide together, it effects you both equally. together write a list of the pros and cons of each living condition - house, apartment - and talk about it from there.

Tiffany - posted on 04/06/2009

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Have you considered trying to find a rental house instead of an apartment?  This way, you are still in a house, just renting it.  I have lived in an apt and when my husband and I married, he owned the house we lived in.  I would never go back to an apt unless that was my ONLY option.  We have rented houses, and that is much better for me.  We are renting a house now, and even though it isn't OURS, it is our home for now.  I would love to own a home someday, and when that day comes I will be happy, but I don't think I could handle all the issues you say you are having with your house.  I think at that point I would look for a house to rent and get out of that one... but then, I am not one to do the work, I would rather just give it up... but, you really have to talk to your husband and try to work out a compromise... and the rest of the family shouldn't have a say... this issue is between you and your husband, not anyone else.  You two have to work it out and do what is best for your family... I wish you the best of luck...

Jennifer - posted on 04/06/2009

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Sounds like the Money Pit, which is what we also call our house. W/I six months of closing, we found out that the seller did not repair the water damage in the bathroom under the tub and had to gut that room and the walls that the bathroom shared with each of the childrens' rooms. Our oldest had stayed sick since we moved in and that is when we found out why:mold! We ran circles with the seller and his partner until I spoke with the partner and stated what my proffession was and that this home was the home of small children.

Darn near every pipe and fixture has had to be replaced, almost all of the flooring, some walls. This week, we start on a new roof and next, 6 news windows (9 left after that). We had well problems, we still need to redo a bathroom and the kitchen cabinets are definitely going to need repalcing w/i 5 years.



You have soem good points, but I think you might consider writing everything down and putting a price and a time frame to work with. The carpets/doors can wait, not a requirement to live in the house. Check out Craigslist and freecycle.org to try and locate parts/doors/tile/supplies to help defer costs and work on the BIG things first. Remember, this is a project and you can make it through. don't worry about your friends gossiping over the paint or that the bedroom door is jacked-up, if they really are your friends, they are coming to see YOU and not the cracked kitchen tiles.

Meredith - posted on 04/06/2009

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I don't blame you one bit. I know several people who have thought (and done) the same thing you are thinking. It's almost not worth it with all of the problems your house has. It sounds like it needs more than just a face lift.  You would definitely save $$ by getting renters insurance and not having to pay property tax, however there is such a great advantage of owning your own home.  Unless you find a spacial apartment, the size is going to create a lot of problems with what you are used to, not to mention a big adjustment in going from a backyard to a possible small patio/deck.  Why only limit yourself to an apartment? Why not a rental house or thinking about buying a different house?

Jamie - posted on 04/06/2009

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Cons (as you have already stated) are you will be not investing your money, you will not have a yard, you will have people above you/below you that may not be trustworthy. Pros you won't be in your house anymore :)

Why don't you just move and buy a different house?

If this is the house you want to remain in for a long time fix it, if not sell it, unless the loss selling the home would be a lot more than the loss of fixing it.

Amanda - posted on 04/06/2009

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oh my. I it sounds like you would be paiying more to fix the house then what you spent on it in the first place. I bought van once. exactly one month later the transmission went out. the car was only worth 3 thousdand and the new tranny was 2600. there wasnt any point in it so i accepted my loss and junked the van out. I live in a old farm house and we have been here almost 5 years and its just now to where i like and am proud of my home. but mine doesnt need nearly the things yours does. I would move into a apartment cause I would be deathly paranoid of the foundation would give way while i was in the house or if the kids jumped the least little bit

Angie - posted on 04/06/2009

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I have never owned a house but I have rented an apt. and I loved it.  I was on the first floor (because carrying groceries up and down with a baby waiting at the top wouldn't be good). We had about 20 feet of yard space in the back and there were swings that were for everyone. It was quiet. The maintenence man would take care of every, leaky sink, mowing the lawn, anything. Maybe look at different apts in your area that you like and would be suitable for your family, and then show your husband.  Your house does sound like you need to put a lot of money into it, and in today's economy it's hard. And if you aren't happy being there then it's not a good place to be. But I have never owned a house, so this is just my opinion =] 

Doreen - posted on 04/06/2009

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There is a lot of reasons why I wouldn't move back to an apt by the experiences that I have gone thru.  One is because of the tenants around you that have no respect to others.  They don't care if they play the music loud at any hour of the night or day.  Two the landlord can always raise the rent anytime they get ready.  Paying for an apt. that is not yours so your basically helping the landlord achieve their goals instead of your own.  Three people smoking cigarettes or weed in the building & the smell coming into the apt. Four-Roaches that others bring into the apt.  I hate this the most.



When we bought our house it didn't need major work but I knew it was mine.  It was the dream that many people have but not everyone is able to accomplish.  It made me happy that I had finally accomplished this goal I've been dreaming about.  You might think that it's bad but seek into ways to fix these issues little by little.  Even if it means a loan.  After thats paid then maybe another loan to fix the next thing.  Hope this helps.  Doreen

Valerie - posted on 04/06/2009

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It sounds like you need to contact ABC's Extreme Home Makeover!



I can see both sides. Do you think if you sold your house that you could get what you would want out of it? Chances are if there's a problem with the foundation it would be hard to sell without fixing the problem first.

Christy - posted on 04/06/2009

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I've lived in a house that needed lots of work and apartments. I would love to own my home again one day (I gave it to my ex husband in our divorce because my job was an hour away from there anyways). I like living in an apartment because I don't have to cut grass or fix anything...but the cons are you have neighbors either above you or below you and next door and sometimes they are loud no matter what time it is. We currently live in base housing (in a duplex) and we have to only cut the back yard. It is very nice to be able to let the dog out to potty without having her on the leash and she has room to run and play if she wants. Even though your house needs lots of work you would probably lose more money in the end if you sold it.

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