ODD/ ADHD?

Lisa - posted on 11/05/2009

i work with adolescent boys who many happen to have adhd and odd... i cant tell you how to tell if your child has either but i can give you some suggestions to help with the behavior issues...

a soft voice can go a long way... avoid a shouting match at all cost even if it means walking away for a few min... especally with odd children!

avoid an argument... state the fact once then stop responding..., ie... we can not watch tv until you brush your teeth. and leave it at that the more you agrue the more it becomes a power struggle. and you can not win a power struggle with an idividual with odd... there will is just far to strong.

listen... every one wants to be heard... (this is the one i struggle most with) sometimes i feel i know whats going on to cause the negative behavior only to find out i am so wrong...

and finally a little love goes a long way! even if the kids make you so angry you want to pull your hair out remeber its hard on them as well!



good luck

Elizabeth - posted on 11/05/2009

There are plenty of good reads about the finding of Dr. Feingold who in the 70s hypothesized that processed foods and food colouring were major contributing factors. Some agree, some disagree. Also, studies have found that children with these disorders lack magnesium/zinc or have a high carb/low protein diet or consume too much sugar (ex. in cereal, etc), Although some frowned at Feingold's diet (because it was difficult for children to follow), many are now returning to his studies. There was a study in 2007 that tested children from the ages of 3-9 by modifying their diet and adopting a 'natural' diet (in other words, no processed stuff), and the kids who changed their diets saw an improvement in their attention span/behaviour.



Honestly, our food is full of 'crap' in it...how can we not be affected by it?



Also, biologically, these kids' forebrain (that deals with reasoning/attention/etc) are 10% smaller than other kids'.



Just 'food' for thought.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/05/2009

Quoting Bekki:

Quoting Elizabeth:

Being a teacher, I really have first hand contact with ADD/ADHD...it's really easy to give kids meds...but poor little ones, they change into 'someone' else ... zombielike! Read up on research that suggests diet changes to 'manage' these disorders! Kids are being 'diagnosed' way toooooo early in life, and given meds to remedy the problem. If I can deal with my students for 8 hours (and more than 3 at a time), believe me, they don't need to be on meds. In my case, if I keep them busy, they stay out of trouble. Good luck, I know it's not easy.

 

 

Your students may in fact be on medications, just because your not administering them in class doesn't mean they arent on them.

 

Not all medications make children "zombielike", it all depends on the medications. A childs diet really has no effect on ADHD, ADD, or any other neurological psychological disorder. Food doesn't affect your neurotransmitters enough to have that kind of an effect.

Many of the studies on diet are showing that in most cases the diet change has little to no effect on the underlying problem, some parents try this with autism as well which is sad because all in all its your children that have to deal with the repurcussion of their parents not properly treating their disorder medically and that is really really sad. Watching children that grow up with emotional disorders, violence issues and it all traces back to not receiving proper medical care to sort out the chemical imbalances in their brains. It's sad... Studies have shown early diagnosis and medical treatment for these disorders has come a long way, and a large number of children with these disorders that are diagnosed and treated early on end up off medications by their teen years and on the road to a bright future. Those that go without proper care tend to have learning disabilites throughout the rest of their lives.

Teachers are not allowed to administer any form of medication to students. Yes, we are aware of each child's medical history even before they enter our classroom. We are given a detailed account of their medical record including meds taken, allergies, disorders, etc....  We don't deal with our students blindly, nor do we deal with these issues lightly.

I was speaking from my 15 year teaching experience and sorry to anyone whom I have offended.  And yes, there is plenty of research suggesting the effects of diet on ADHD/ADD.  It is ultimately the parent's decision to medicate their child, but kids react differently to different meds as well and their dose.

My heart truly goes to parents/children dealing with these disorders.  Best of luck to those of you who have to deal with this on a daily basis.  ;o)

Rabecca - posted on 11/05/2009

oh you are not alone my son had ADHD and a very very mild form of ODD but persopnally I think not so much ODD just ADHD but hey I am just hos mom what do I know .haha

Anyway I can trulely say I knew my son was ADHD from like months old well how alot of people would say well for one he never slept was always alert and overly happy but cute and about 2 others started noticing what I already knew wild crazy implusive actions and he could never focus on me or did not react to disapline he was always very smart at 2 he could talk in clear and sarcatic manner it took people back plus youy just never knew what would come out of his mouth ie asking an old lady why her skin was falling off her face or telling the checker at the store that she had a mans voice I mean no filter !! but even though he was always a handful I could handle him really the most difficult time was after school started he would act out get to rough with other kids get in trouble alot and his teachers just didnt know what to do we tried alot of different things because we did not want to medicate but really I waited to long he became very aware that he was not like the other kids in his class and as much as he wanted to be he had a really tough time it was hard to waltch lond story short and I could go on and on but it took lots of different medicatrions some okay some bad but we found one that works thank God and he is really shinning and active still and is showing the world what I already knew hes smart funny and feels in control for once .

any questions or concerns write me I love to help I wish I had a mom that knew what I was going through when I first was dealing with all trhis cuz there is just a wide array of issues concerns questions .

ps my son has the worst days when he has artifical dyes red really effects him we had to completly remove from his diet you would not believe the difference

Christine - posted on 11/05/2009

My son is now 22 years old but we went through all of that. We tried to eliminate red dyes and controlling his diet He was on Ritalin for a few years only because the school insisted and could not control him. He went to CASA for 3 months and they told me that he had the largest student record that they had ever seen. They picked on him was the assumption because he got through their 6 - 12 month program in 3 months and showed none of the signs that the school had complained of constantly. What we discovered is that structure and consistency are great tools in controlling the issues and above all don't get pulled into the arguments. My son would argue until I gave in and the argue the other way. Very frustrating. Keep positive and have faith in the fact that this to shall pass and they will learn to control it eventually. Hope that helps. Keep smiling.

Aimee - posted on 11/05/2009

My partner has ADHD and our son of 5months is already showing signs of it too. He will not sit still & has to be played with or amused constantly, he cant concentrate on anything, he is already trying to walk, he has little ''hyper fits'' as i call them, where he gets so over excited for no apparent reason that he quite literally starts shaking. I have been to the docter who only saw my son for 20mins & agreed that he is likely to have ADHD but we wont get a proper diagnosis until he is older. I hope you manage to sort things out :) Keep your chin up xxx

Laura - posted on 11/05/2009

My daughter is 19 and in her freshman year of college (pre-vet). She was diagnosed with Add in the first grade. There are so many differences between all of the learning disabilities, taking the first step of having your child evaluated is a great start. One of the best things we did was changing her medication from ritalin to concerta as it is time released and there are no changes during the twelve hour period it is in her system. Patience, consistency and routine have been very helpful in making her a productive and content student. There are so many wonderful web sites to help and encourage you. You are your childs best advocate and the one person who will know them the best. Never let a teacher tell you what they think is best for YOUR child because they tend to stereotype children who have a different learning style. It's like a box of puppies, some stay in the box and conform to their surroundings.....some are curious and try to see what is on the outside of the box where the noise is coming from. Doesn't make the puppies on the inside smarter or better than the ones who want to check out what's going on outside the box. Just means they are created uniquely different. My daughter taught herself to build on her strengths to make up for the weaknesses to keep her grade point average up. Every child learns differently, even those without learning disorders. One very encouraging thing to her was when I googled famous people with ADD and showed her the list of Presidents,scholars, inventors, athletes, movie stars etc. Good luck to you and your child.

Delia - posted on 11/05/2009

I wholly agree that over-stimulation in a noisey environment can cause a child to be considered 'out of control' when it is really the environment that is out of control not the child. I have had times that over-stimulation increased my irritibility. I don't have ADHD, nor am I a child, so why do we (society) expect so much still and quiet from our children?

Delia - posted on 11/05/2009

not all active children have ADD, ADHA or ODD, it may be your child is very bright and bored in the classroom. Do talk with his teacher about his/her actions in class. Also, consider if he/she is used to clear boundaries at home. My son was very active, very smart and all 'behavior problems' cleared when extra work was assigned him during class. Drugs can have serious long term physical and psychological effects - be careful not to believe it will solve the problem. It will only sedate the child. A thing to try if excess activity is a problem is a cup of coffee, if it make your child sleepy, then ADD, ADHA could be the cause.

Connie - posted on 11/05/2009

Quoting Lyndsay:

I strongly suspect my son has ADHD, but then again he's only 2 so it could just be the age. I don't have tons of experience with this, but I'm currently taking a course in abnormal psychology and we just covered ADHD and ODD, so I will share some information with you from that.

The main difference between the two is that ADHD kids are not being defiant on purpose... they are not trying to push your buttons or piss you off, they are just struggling with whatever it is you are asking of them. In most cases they simply cannot do it. ODD kids, on the other hand, are purposely defiant. They may (or may not) be able to do whatever you're asking of them, but choose not to for whatever reason.

MOST CASES of oppositional defiant disorder begin with ADHD, and it all depends on how you handle the situation. One of the worst things you can do is tell the child to "try harder". Often they are trying harder than everybody else (particularly in a school situation), and yet they are still failing. If they are trying and trying and trying, and failing, eventually they are going to give up. This is when it becomes more of an ODD situation... such as when a teacher tells them to "try harder", they tell the teacher to fuck off.

Basically the best way to manage ADHD is to break everything down into very small parts, and reward every step of the way. This is the example that my professor used, it pertains more to group work but it can relate to individual kids as well. If you are planning to build a bird house with an ADHD child, you don't give them all the materials and tell them to build it and come back to you when you're done. You give them the roof and tell them to paint it, then reward them for that. Then you give them the body and have them attach it, and reward them for that. Then you paint the house, and reward them for that. etc etc etc.

Hope this helps. :)

YES!!! I can't tell you how many times my son was told he was just "lazy". His scores were off the chart but he just COULDN'T do it. Until I came to that realization, my son's life was a living hell of unmeetable expectations. Please educate yourself as thoroughly as possible. All of the issues my son has: bi-polar, OCD, ADD, they are all brain disfunction. These kids needs that additional activity to get their brains to work properly. If they pace in the back of the room while listening to a lecture, they get and retain the information. If they are allowed to lay down in the back of the room and kick their feet in the air while doing a worksheet, they can stick with it. They are different and need support, not to be shoved to the little box that society deems to be the "good" child. Learn to work with your child's differences. GET HELP for his behavior. It is not normal. My son was diagnosed suicidal at the age of 8 due to the pressure in his public school from peers and teachers. He was nearly held back every year even though he scored high enough on the ACT at the age of 10 to get into any college. Simply because doing the boring, repetitive work was so difficult for him to focus upon and they refused to allow him into honors classes due to his inability to focus and do homework. Get him evaluated and get an IEP. Get a para assigned to help him in school. I was in contact with the school at least once a day and working with him every night. It is so unbelievably DIFFICULT!!! I SO feel for you. You have a good kid with a brain disorder. You must be his most ardent advocate. I eventually homeschooled my son and he's now taking honors in college. I'm also homeschooling my youngest with ADD after a horrible first semester of kindergarten. We work around his good days and bad days and focus entirely on his interests, working all the curriculum around them. It's much easier for both of us this way. Good luck!! And if you ever need to vent - been there, done that, and would love to commiserate with you.

Marie - posted on 11/05/2009

our son is now 13 and only recently been diagnosed with adhd he struggles with controlled environments and his behaviour is often unsuitble as a parent you learn to accept them as they are and see their possotive side.as do people who know him an early diagnosis is best for all of you...it could be worse x

Lisa - posted on 11/05/2009

My daughter was VERY pokey. Took forever to get dressed, etc. She transposed letters and numbers on tests alot. She would forget which way is left or right long past the age she should have known. Her brother has PDD and I thought something was off with her but when she hit middle school it came crashing down. Too much to remember to be successful, etc. She was about 11 diagnoses but I had my suspicions around 8 or 9 years of age.

Stephanie - posted on 11/05/2009

Quoting Sami:

Quoting Stephanie:

I'm sorry but I have to speak out on this. I have an 8 year old brother and as soon as he started school, he was diagnosed with ADHD. WHAT 5-8 YEAR OLD CHILD DOESN'T HAVE THAT MUCH ENERGY??? Teachers just aren't allowed to use paddles anymore. That's what needs to happen. If teachers were allowed to discipline the way they used to, today's generation would be so well behaved. Even parents for that matter can't discipline the way they used to.

ADHD and ODD is much more than just being hyper. MUCH more. And believe me I have tried EVERY form of discipline in the home I can think of.  "spanking" honestly had the least affect on my son's behaivor than any of the others. I am not an anti spanking person- but for my son it just flat doesn't work.

I understand that it is much more than being hyper, but you can't tell me EVERY child in the USA between the ages of 5-10 have ADHD.

Crystal - posted on 11/05/2009

Quoting Elizabeth:

Being a teacher, I really have first hand contact with ADD/ADHD...it's really easy to give kids meds...but poor little ones, they change into 'someone' else ... zombielike! Read up on research that suggests diet changes to 'manage' these disorders! Kids are being 'diagnosed' way toooooo early in life, and given meds to remedy the problem. If I can deal with my students for 8 hours (and more than 3 at a time), believe me, they don't need to be on meds. In my case, if I keep them busy, they stay out of trouble. Good luck, I know it's not easy.

hello,  My daughter is 8yrs old now and doing great but, In fist grade the teacher wanted to hold her back she was getting really bad grades so we meet with her and the principal and talked about our opitions I wanted them to test her because my brother had adhd and I noticed at home when we would try to do homework she was so distracted... I didnt mind holding her back but didnt want to just hold her back if she needed extra help and it just be the same thing next year.  She went to preschool and didn't catch on she went to kintergarden and first grade and still wasn't catching on.  She got bad notes almost everyday!!!  The teacher just kept saying there wasn't any problems she was just imuture.  I didn't feel that she was at all so I decided to take her to our Dr.  he asked her a series of ?'s and said he thought there was "something" so he wanted to send her to get futher evulation.  So after that we found that she was ADHD we put her on meds at first he gave her a very small dose to get her use to it, then increased it.  I am so happy to say she is doing awesome now all A's and B's :) she can now focus on her home work!!!  she is still a little wild by evening but I don't want her to be a zombiee so we kept her dose low just enough to help her get through the day and can concentrate and not get in trouble all the time at school..  I feel that it is much better and she can enjoy herself better now  :)  Just keep an eye on them if you get meds you will know how much is right for your child it took us a little tweaking  and meds is not for everyone  P.S. the problem we have had is making sure she does eat though because it can effect their appitete  hope this helps  

Thu - posted on 11/05/2009

Thanks for sharing Memorie Creshale...that was helpful to me and my daughter!

Katherine - posted on 11/05/2009

my daughter has odd and it is oppositional defiant disorder, and tell you she is 26 now and it was a hard when she was a child, agrue with you, mind of her own, read about it, it is very interesting, she is on medication right now for it, before you go to doctors look it up and print it out and then ask the doctor to get your child tested for it, my daughter was tested when she was 6 years old, let me know how it turns out ok

Anna - posted on 11/05/2009

My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 7 yrs old, although i knew from an early age that he had it even though no-one would listen to me. He would scream and bang his head against walls, lash out at children and adults, had a short concentration span, hyperactive, and was exluded from school on a number of occasions. He has been taking medication since his diagnosis which helps no end, although this is not a long term solution. I had a difficult birth with him and believe this is the reason for his condition although it can be hereditary. My son and i have been to hell and back over the yrs and many times felt i cannot cope but although there are always gonna be issues we are slowly getting there and he is now making good progress.

Desiree - posted on 11/05/2009

My little angel is nine and a very creative individual, I always knew she was a little hyper but when she started Kindergarten and was making bad grades on thing I knew she knew I asked the teacher about it and her doctor they told me to wait till first grade and her first 6 week was a nightmare, got her tested and now she is an doing great with the help of medicine (Vyvanse). It really opens your eyes when you 6 year old tells you that they try hard but she just can’t. Now the medicine she is on only last about 12 hours. She is still my fun loving creative dancing little girl but she can now complete a task and feels soo good about it. Good Luck I pray this help.

Tina - posted on 11/05/2009

do not give them coffee adding stimulants to a child that is already over stimulated will make it worse.

Tina - posted on 11/05/2009

i have 3 kids with ADD they all take focalin xr we have tried other meds they did not work,the kids like how this one works also, another thing you can do is get your child on a schedule kids with ADD/ADHD etc. need routine it helps them to be organized, make sure the school and teachers understand what needs to be done if everyone works together it helps alot. do not think of this as a bad thing your child can thrive most kids with ADD/ADHD etc. are very smart they just need help to focus with some work and patience it will be ok. Also sometime a therapist can help when you need a little extra help. DO NOT be afraid to ask questions or to ask for help.

Snyder - posted on 11/05/2009

yes give them coffee it will make them mellow

Betsy - posted on 11/04/2009

Quoting Sami:

Wow thank you guys sooo much, I can't believe how many responses there are in such a short time! And all of you have given me quite a bit to think about for sure. I do believe my son may be leaning heavier on the side of ODD more than the ADHD, but I realize the can co-exist, and since he does show some of the ADHD traits, he porbably is one who has both- we will get to the bottom of it either way, because I will not give up on trying to give my son the quality of life he deserves. I appreciate all of your stories and advise, and I take them all to heart. Also thank you for the info about the meds, as I only know of a couple, but only what they are and not so much about how the affect the people on them. THe diary id a very good idea that I wish I would have thought of sooner and will make sure to start.

I also think that it's funny from reading Bekki- I might be OCD then and never really noticed LOL since I really only though of the "clean freaks" and such. I have many strange ticks like you discribed- EI having to feel the "balance" in EVERYTHING- everything I'm doing pretty much has to be symetrical- gift wrapping is very specific art to me and my husband hides and will no longer offer to help LOL- also CD's - I have to listen to atleast part of every song on a cd before changing it or else i "feel guily or bad" for the other songs... lots of weird things like that. I wonder if that could lead to my son's current position.... aside from my brother being VERY VERY ADHD ....

I guess I never did explain all that goes on with him, he is very VERY defiant, over things that most would consider silly, I guess. Things that should work like clockwork because they have always been a part of routine go to chaos very frequently- such as toothbrushing for example- every night and morning like clockwork since forever- we still have to argue and fight over that. we get lots of lies from him over stuff like that too- "I already did it" when we know he didn't. And we don't start out just arguing or anything we try several times of just sticking to the whole "Gavin, what did I ask you to do? Go do it please." Or "Gavin, I asked you to brush your teeth" calmly, but his temper flares very fast and we see quite a few roaring tantrums. Time out in his room leads to him yelling lots of hateful things through the door, walking out of the room and not staying in there like he was told, kicking the door, throwing toys and the like. Time out in a chair or bench leads to screaming, not staying in the chair or bench, knocking it over, saying hateful things about how we aren't being fair to him. He is mean to other kids, says hateful things to them (well not just kids- adults too) and also has violent tendencies (This one is mostly with kids- he use to try to hit me, but I think I have corrected this with a few rare comebacks) He will talk over you (to you) while you are trying to talk (to other people or even when you are talking to him). His topics of conversation can be pretty speratic- altough if we find subject that REALLY holds his interest, then we can keep it going for a bit. We use to have issues with peeing his pants all the way up till last year. Now it is only bed wetting that we are having problems with. He can be destructive of property- his own as well as other peoples- often (lately it has been writing on the walls, pillows, cabinets, blankets, my clothes, etc) Even after we have made him scrubs the walls etc that he wrote on he still continues to TRY do it- when he thinks we're not looking- as we do not let him have writing utensils anymore without constant supervision. He seems to really enjoy pushing people's buttons, and he does seems to get aggravated or frustrated or upset very easy. We try to pick our fights, and there are times when we try not to fight- but still ends up as one...We are trying different approaches with Gavin, trying to figure out what works best for him and getting him to understand acceptable and unaccecptable behavior, but it seems like after we find a method that works, he changes (or something does anyway) and that method doesn't work anymore and the cycle of searching anew starts again... and sometimes we even recycle the methods... There have been many nights after finally getting him to bed- which can also turn into a battle- where I have just had to sit and cry asking myself and my husband "what am I doing wrong?!" ADHD/ ODD not a subject I take lightly and hope is really not the case, but at the same time I'm not wanting to diminish the chances of making life better for him by ignoring the possibilities now while they are early enough to be helpful. And maybe it will turn out that he isn't either one- maybe he is just a very stubborn, hyper child- but if that's the case someone will be able to help make the connections with how to work on his behavior.

ALSO TO CLARIFY**** I do not mean to sound as if my son is not a good kid or as if he never has good behavior. I'm sure you all already know this as you all can relate to what I am saying- I mainly focussed on the problems as that is what we are discussing, but being mom, I felt a little guilty not putting this little clause in here :) can't help it. Gavin does have tender, loving moments, is very smart when he does apply himself, and can be very sweet and considerate.. I've seen it. Anyway, THANK YOU ALL AGAIN SOO MUCH!!!!!

Wow you just described my 12 yr. old daughter to a "T" as far as behavior and discipline. I thought I was the worst parent in the world and was causing my child to act like this. The best advice I can give you is to never give up on your child. My husband and I have been trying to deal with the same issues you are having for the past 7 yrs. We have been to many specialists and have had many tests done. Just when we think we are on the right track and things are looking up there will be a set back in behavior and we need to start all over again. We have tried just about every ADD/ADHD med on the market and find that they work for a while and then we are back at square 1 starting over again to see what will work.

The best approach we have used for meds is what Dr's like to call the cocktail approach (a med to help with focus and concentration and a different med to help with behavior issues). Vyvanse and Focalin XR have worked well for us(a little over a year) as the cocktail. As far as the behavior we have been reading the LOVE and LOGIC books and trying this method. This may not be a good method for you since your little guy is younger but well worth the reading. Might I add that I am not a reader ,but this book was hard to put down. Another thing we have been working on is trying to stay calm when there is an outburst and trying not to allow ourselves to be pulled into her situation. Trying to stay above it and not engage. (VERY VERY hard to do but with practice it is doable).

Just remember that the road will not always be smooth, Cherish the good times, and when there are bad times remember there are always good times to come. Hang in there and stay strong.

P.S. Yes we have had nice little art work on our walls from a 7 yr old and we have had spots where fresh wall paper has been missing because someone got bored at night. Scissors were not allowed in sight because everything got cut. Our 12 yr old has moved on from crayons to nail polish art work. Certainly not behaviors we would expect from kids these ages. But hey who ever said parentling was easy. LOL. Take Care

Betsy - posted on 11/04/2009

Quoting Bekki:

Quoting Elizabeth:

Being a teacher, I really have first hand contact with ADD/ADHD...it's really easy to give kids meds...but poor little ones, they change into 'someone' else ... zombielike! Read up on research that suggests diet changes to 'manage' these disorders! Kids are being 'diagnosed' way toooooo early in life, and given meds to remedy the problem. If I can deal with my students for 8 hours (and more than 3 at a time), believe me, they don't need to be on meds. In my case, if I keep them busy, they stay out of trouble. Good luck, I know it's not easy.

 

 

Your students may in fact be on medications, just because your not administering them in class doesn't mean they arent on them.

 

Not all medications make children "zombielike", it all depends on the medications. A childs diet really has no effect on ADHD, ADD, or any other neurological psychological disorder. Food doesn't affect your neurotransmitters enough to have that kind of an effect.

Many of the studies on diet are showing that in most cases the diet change has little to no effect on the underlying problem, some parents try this with autism as well which is sad because all in all its your children that have to deal with the repurcussion of their parents not properly treating their disorder medically and that is really really sad. Watching children that grow up with emotional disorders, violence issues and it all traces back to not receiving proper medical care to sort out the chemical imbalances in their brains. It's sad... Studies have shown early diagnosis and medical treatment for these disorders has come a long way, and a large number of children with these disorders that are diagnosed and treated early on end up off medications by their teen years and on the road to a bright future. Those that go without proper care tend to have learning disabilites throughout the rest of their lives.

I agree that not all kids are "zombielike"if they are on the right medication. Finding the right meds  takes time and patience. It is a very hard decision to make for parents but certainly well worth it for everyone involved in the childs life(including the child).

If your child was a diabetic would you give them insulin?

Lori - posted on 11/04/2009

As a teacher, I was very used to seeing the ADHD symptoms. I knew he was at 4, but was managing it in school with my friend who was his teacher. This year and last year has been a struggle, and I saw him starting to call himself stupid. Finally his dad agreed to getting him to talk to his doctor. The doctor referred him to a psychologist where he spent some time talking and observing my son, then sending home a Conners form for me to fill out and for his teachers to fill out, and then giving him the Connor's test on computer.

For all you Christian Mom's, I explained to my son like this. ADHD is a blessing as God has created you to be able to focus on many different things at once. A cop has to be able to focus on many different areas when he is after a bad guy. A fireman has to be able to focus on many different areas. A pastor has to be able to focus on different things. But, God needs you to train your mind to work under his order and in his balanced way. We pray at night that God teaches him how to have the mind of obedience, the spirit of willingness to know the right directions that are honorable to follow, and the heart of a servant. I am in process of deciding on medication, and will be taking him to his peditrician soon for his follow up with him. He has gotten the report from the psychologist. His doctor has ADHD as well and told my son that when he was talking to him at the referral day, so he is learning that it is okay to be unique. And that there is a place for him in society as ADHD is his blessing from God.

Kim - posted on 11/04/2009

Quoting Diane:

I am a social worker who has worked 7 years in an outpatient treatment facility and I have mixed emotions on medications. To realy diagnose, your child needs to have a psychological evaluation (testing to confirm that he is truly ADHD). Sometimes anxiety can mimic the symptoms of ADHD. I also have a 6 year old with ADHD and after struggling with his educators since K3 - had no alternative but to try medications last year. We tried everything and they either made him loose weight (he's already tiny), made his heart rate increase to abnormal rates or made him a monster when the meds would wear off in the afternoon. Since August of this year we have been on a special diet which prohibits any additives or preservatives (dyes, etc). Things that the FDA used to not allow in our diets. He is now doing GREAT in school and we don't have the horrible side effects of the meds. He is still active but he is able to maintain focus so that we are not getting calls from his teacher on a daily basis. For the diet information - look on the internet for Feingold Association. Every child is different but this has been great for us!!

The Feingold Association's website has a lot of good information regarding diet modifications to help manage many difficulties children face, including ADD/ADHD.  My son began Kindergarten this year and has had tremendous difficulty with behavior.  After a difficult first 6-weeks of school, which included detention and a parent/teacher conference, I began to explore the possiblity that he may have some ADHD tendencies.  What I found was that there are other problems that can mimic ADD/ADHD, such as stress and life changes.  My son has had a lot of stress and life changes since he turned 3, and that is when we first noticed a lot of behavior difficulties.  That is also when I first discovered the Feingold Association and tried some of the diet modifications and we found certain things negatively impact his behavior and when we eliminate them (or only give on special occasions) we see a difference in his behavior.  I have recently been giving him DHA supplements and chamomile, which have helped him tremendously.  We started with a new pediatrician and during our visit she didn't feel like he demonstrated signs/symptoms of ADD/ADHD.  She seemed to like the supplements I chose for him with a warning that the chamomile might make him sleepy, but it doesn't seem to during the day.  However, he is usually tired by bedtime and goes to sleep much quicker with fewer trips out of bed to give us a hug or whatever excuse he would use.  This 6-weeks, my son has had his ups and down's, but overall has been significantly better.

If in fact my son is ever diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, medications will be the very last resort for us.

Trenton - posted on 11/04/2009

What are some of the signs? My 8 yr old son was just diagnosed w/ADHD last week!! I think as a mother you just know when somethings "not right". My sons biggest problem is vocusing on things, hes all over the place when it comes to getting something done like homework. For us our biggest red flag is the constant talking! Now when I say 24/7 I mean 24/7! At first we just figured it was part of his personallity, but it has since become distractive in class & to other students. I talked with his peditrician and she suggested we make an appointment w/a neurologist and thats just what we did! I've decided not to take the medication route quite yet, there are definately tons of info on other steps you can take on ways to help them focus, etc. The neurologist did suggest a book called Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson thats supposed to be really good! Hope this helps! Good luck!

Carla - posted on 11/04/2009

Both of my sons are on Focolin. They have improved in school and at home. They even say they feel better. We tried other meds first that did not work or causes problems. Lucky we have a great doctor to work with them.

Diane - posted on 11/04/2009

I am a social worker who has worked 7 years in an outpatient treatment facility and I have mixed emotions on medications. To realy diagnose, your child needs to have a psychological evaluation (testing to confirm that he is truly ADHD). Sometimes anxiety can mimic the symptoms of ADHD. I also have a 6 year old with ADHD and after struggling with his educators since K3 - had no alternative but to try medications last year. We tried everything and they either made him loose weight (he's already tiny), made his heart rate increase to abnormal rates or made him a monster when the meds would wear off in the afternoon. Since August of this year we have been on a special diet which prohibits any additives or preservatives (dyes, etc). Things that the FDA used to not allow in our diets. He is now doing GREAT in school and we don't have the horrible side effects of the meds. He is still active but he is able to maintain focus so that we are not getting calls from his teacher on a daily basis. For the diet information - look on the internet for Feingold Association. Every child is different but this has been great for us!!

KI-KI - posted on 11/04/2009

YES I HAVE A CHILD THAT WAS DIGNOISTE WITH ADD, ADHA AND MUTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,AND SHE IS SUICIDAL. YES PLEASE GET YOUR CHILD HELP IF NEEDED BECASE I FELT THAT THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG EVEN WHEN THE SCHOOL SENT HER OFF TO BE EVALUATED. THERE WAS SOMETHING DEFENETLY WRONG. SHE IS A SMAR 15YR. OLD WHO WAS THE FIRST IN TEXAS HISTORY TO BE TAKIN OUT OF BIC FULLY IN THE NINTH GRADE SHE STILL HEAR VOICES FROM TIME TO TIME AND SHE IS STILL SUCIDAL BUT SHE HAS GROWN A LOT. I REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS 5YRS. OLD AND USE TO BE REALY HYPER, NOT FOCUSING ON ME THE TEACHER OR HER WORK, SHE WOULD DO STUFF TO GET THAT ATTETION, SHE WOULD ACT OUT IN CLASS... I COULD GO ON AND ON. YES GET HER HELP

Kelly - posted on 11/04/2009

I have a 10 year son that is ADHD, ODD, and Bi-polar. It is not fun. If you at all think that he has these symptoms, talk to your doctor right away. You will need help and support to deal with it!

Lisa - posted on 11/04/2009

Don't despair, and don't jump on the bandwagon. I sense you child is a boy, and they do act differently than girls, though with educators it hasn't been politically correct to suggest this. Make it your job to smooth out what you can for him, but let him be himself. When my son was 5 a prestigious private school said I should institutionalize him, he was just too obstreperous. I was a late in life mom, and am grateful I held my ground, with very little support, as he is a successful high school senior today, soon to go onto a great college. He has always had tremendous dignity, and self-knowledge. Our society gets frantic when anyone seems different. We need to enlarge our grasp of normal--its a long continuim, not the spot right in the middle. Good luck!

Cathy - posted on 11/04/2009

I am raising my grandson who is ten years old, soon to be eleven. I knew when he was two years old that he was adhd. He was kicked out of every pre school that he went to. He could not be in a regular daycare. I always had to go through a referral service to find an in home daycare who accepts children with special needs. In the area I live I did a lot of research and made a lot of phone calls and found an organization in my area that specializes in adhd and other disorders that children have. Thats all they do, it is their specialty. It is called Penny Lane and it is a wonderful place. They have pschyiatrists to keep track of their meds, therapist, different therapy groups including art therapy. It is a fact that all of these children are gifted, creative, they are truly very special kids. My son was diagnosed when he was four with adhd and odd. They told me what was available to help him and then I made the choice to do what is best for him. He started seeing a therapist. I did not put him on meds right away because he was not in school yet. I dealt with him at home. Then he started kindergarten and after seeing how he would do was when I made my decision. He has such a hard time and it was not fair to him. Number 1 symptom of Adhd is impulsivity and then not being able to focus. Right now my son is in a class where the teacher does not have control of her students, its always loud and noisey. He really has a hard time. It would not be fair if i didnt do everything I could to help him to grow into his full potential. The meds make all the difference in the world. They do not make anyone zombielike. If that happens that is a clue that the dose of meds is too high or he is on the wrong medication. My son sees a pschyiatrist once a month to keep track of how he is doing with his meds. and if I have a problem with meds I can call. Usually kids do not grow out of their adhd. What happens is if you get them the help they need , when they take meds it helps them to calm down and take control of themselves and be impulsive. that allows them to figure out other things to do to deal with the problem at hand, counseling will teach all of this to your child. If over the years they learn and they usually can get off the meds and use what they have learned. I have been fighting constantly with his school because they do not want to help an adhd kid that can stay in a regular classroom but just needs a little extra help. (Student Study Team) It is such a tiring job especially when you are a grandma and doing it on your own. I will do whatever it takes to help my son grow into a loving, caring, responsible man who can take care of himself. He deserves it. I think my Joey is totally awesome and I am sure that is how you feel about your child no matter how much they drive you crazy! Hang in there!

Roxann - posted on 11/04/2009

My son has ADHD also. He is now 15 and knows when he needs to take his medication or not. I thought the diet thing was a joke but I soon found that every time my son drank OJ or ate peaches or cinnamon toast (was the worst), He would bounce off the walls (littrely). It wasn't just the food but changing his diet worked so he didn't become a zombie from the highs and lows.The teacher and I would communicate every morning for 2 weeks. I would tell her what he had for breakfast and she would let me know what his behavior was. I helped me narrow down a few foods but not everything. It might be a start for you. If your childs medication is making him a zombie then it is probably the wrong meds for him. Good Luck they do out grow it or learn to control it better as they get older.

Cathy - posted on 11/04/2009

I KNOW HOW YOU FELL. MY SON WAS SHOWING SIGNS AT THE AGE OF 5. HIS BEHAVIOR WAS TERRIBLE HE COULD NOT STAY STILL AT ALL. MY SON WAS EVALUATED WITH ADHD AT THE AGE OF 5. HE'S BEEN ON DIFFERENT TYPES OF MEDICATIONS. WITH A LOT OF SIDE EFFECTS. HE IS NOW 16 AND STILL HAVE ADHD AND HE'S CURRENTLY TAKING CONCERTA 36 MG AND IT'S VERY HARD FOR HIM STILL.

Jess - posted on 11/04/2009

1,2,3 Magic was a godsend to my household!!!And not just for my oldest who has ADHD and ODD, but for all of my kids.

Jennie - posted on 11/04/2009

Wow I didn't realize that there were so many families out there struggling with their son, like I have struggled with mine. He is about to turn 12, and oh my goodness you think he was the adult. He is ADHD/Asperger. I knew there was soething wrong fro the time he was 9 months old walking and constantly buisy juping from one thing to another. Tried many medications and finally he is doing well with Vyvanse and Risperdall. He was also kicked out of many pre-schools when he was younger. It hurt so much, thinking I was a bad parent, I cannot control my child. Thank goodness for finding a wonderful child care provider. She found all the answers for me and got the state school district with the evaluation process and special needs classes. Now you would not even know that there is anything different about him. There is alot of help out there for these children just need to search and be very, very patient.

Jess - posted on 11/04/2009

My daughter was diagnosed at the age of 6 with both ADHD and ODD. Her symptoms tended more toward the ODD side at first. She just couldn't get across what she wanted and when she did, usually couldn't accept the outcome. It became very difficult to deal with.(I can describe more of that if you want.) I finally had a family friend that gave me a book on ADHD and the symptoms and she had many of them. After her Dr. apt., I felt so much relief because I knew what was going on and I could focus my energy on the future and dealing with it in the best way possible.
I did a lot of research on the internet to make myself sure of the coarse of action I wanted to take and then found a very good Dr. who treated both of us with compassion, and support. She said that there is no cure, but there is a way of making it better. routine is #1, although very difficult to get established. If you choose medication, remember that it takes awhile to find the right one, and if your child becomes a "different person", they are probably being over-medicated and a reduction in dosage, or a different medication is needed. My daughter is now 10 years old and a straight A student, and a very happy one. We still have episodes that are very hard for all of us, her having coping mechanisms, and understanding what is wrong is very good for her mentally, and emotionally. We have a very strict routine that is only broken on special occasions and her being as active physically as possible has made a huge difference in all our lives.
If you are interested in hearing more of her story and how it is working and has worked out, I'd be happy to share!:) I will say that once we got her ODD under semi-control the ADHD was much easier to confront and deal with.For her especially.

Marie - posted on 11/04/2009

i think you should talk with his doctor and explain your concerns and as well as his behavior. I felt the same way as you i didnt want my child on meds that completely change her or cause her to just sit around talk with your doctor and research all meds and opitions. We tried a medicine it helped her to focous at first and never calmed her down but then after about 2mths she started acting more irritable and angry so i decided to take her back off of them and now we are going to go back and talk to a counselor and see what we can do other then meds.If you have a good doctor then they will listen and be open to your concerns and help find the right treatment. it is very frustrateing but hang in there there is hope.

Sami - posted on 11/04/2009

Quoting marie:

 i will keep you posted on how it works out.our first appointment is next week.just stay open minded research all opitions and follow your gut you know your child better then any doctor.

Definetely keep us posted and I will do the same :)

Sami - posted on 11/04/2009

Quoting Katie:

my son hasnt been diagnosed with anything but im sure there is something wrong I havnt looked into anything yet but he is now 4 years old and I cant get him through his ABC I have been working with him and trying differnt things he did have his counting down from 1-10 but when I tried to interduce ABC he gets them messed up even when hes just repeating them after me he is able to sit through a tv show but is easky ditraced he is very hyper i have trying taking red #40 and yellow out of his diet but nothing seems to calm him down it seems like the day never ends for him hes getting out of his naps and still staying up really late I just dont under stand should i take him to the doctor and than what about the medications that they would be putting him on i dont want a child that just sits there and cant be a kid at the same time how do you win with problems like this i have tryed time outs but they dont seem to work because he cant sit still i have been asked many times what is wrong with my child and all i can reply with is hes a child do you think he is this way because hes still young and hell grow out of it what should i do if i could get some answers from a parent that has been through it than i might be able to get somewhere

HI Katie,

I first started really noticing the "problems" my son was havin when he was about that age, I had spoke with his dr at that time and she wanted to wait until he actually started school before really exploring the ADHD/ODD  stuff, because she said it was difficult to know for sure before then and the wont medicate when they are that young any (this is the only drs opinion I have ever received and decided to follow) my son is now in Kindergarten, and it seems obvious to me to follow the course and see drs and get it figured out. As far as whether you should be worried about meds, that I believe is something you will know in you gut when the topic presents itself. The drs will work with you on trying behavior therapy etc before going to meds. When Gavin was in preschool I had a therapist come to his school and visit him in "play therapy" every week. Now in Kindergarten I have him involved in a group kind of social counciling... And sometimes these types of things are enough to produce the outcome you are looking for... maybe you could try something along those lines. I also had Gavin in something called "Parents as Teachers" I don't know if they have it in your area or not but I found it helpful when it comes to learning stuff such as the ABC's and what not....

Marie - posted on 11/04/2009

i have a 9 yr old who was diagnosed last year with ADHD i recently made the decission to try meds because i felt after talking with her teachers she needed to be more focused. she is a very smart child but she just wasn't doing as good of job as i knew she had the ability of doing.i did alot of talking with others and seeking advice just as you are doing because i didnt want to put her on meds.well the meds worked temp. and then stoped and they started makeing her more irritable and angry and that was actually why i began thinking something is not right or something has happened to her and talked with her doctor then had her evaluated for the ADD/ADHD. which brings us to now...i took her off meds and i have made the decission to talk with a counselor and to have her talk to them as well and see what other techniqes we can try other then meds that may help her control her actions and temper and also help me decipline her properly.i just feel like if we can learn to deal with it ourselves naturally the better off she and i both will feel because she hated takeing the medicine she put up a big fight so i will keep you posted on how it works out.our first appointment is next week.just stay open minded research all opitions and follow your gut you know your child better then any doctor.

Terri - posted on 11/04/2009

Quoting Nikki:

I had been told the same thing by an "old fashioned" doctor. He said to give the child a little coffee/milk on a weekend and see if there was a behavioral change (for the good). as kind of a litmus test.

I forgot about this part. Our pediatrician also told us that Dr. Pepper would pretty much do the same thing except that you couldn't account for the sugar and the erratic nature of the caffeine in it. So, DH did a test with DS. Every day one week, he gave our son a little Coca Cola before school. Towards the end of the week, his teacher said she'd noticed a marked improvement in his behavior this week. The meds. they give them are mostly stimulants. One of my good friends little girl is on that foculin  (?) focu something and she said that her daughter can tell when she misses a dose (she's 8 as well) and she prefers to be on it because her behavior is better.

Terri - posted on 11/04/2009

Mmmm.... it has much more to do with behavior than excess energy. Have you read about it? Children with ADD/ADHD etc. brains are wired differently than those without that challenge. While their brain is functioning that way they literally can not process the way we do. For example, there was a little boy who had autism and could not smell. He went through the Brain Balance program and was in Kindergarden and came home for the first time and his brothers said I smell chocolate chip cookies, I want some. He said, I smell them too and want some. It wasn't that he just chose not to smell, his brain was wired as such that he could not. It's the same thing with kids with ADD/ADHD (my ped said they no longer distinguish b/w the 2.) His brain randomly misfires and he does not have the ability to stay focused by himself on one task for very long. No amount of spanking is going to change that. You have to address the underlying cause of the behavior and then the behavior will change.

Katie - posted on 11/04/2009

my son hasnt been diagnosed with anything but im sure there is something wrong I havnt looked into anything yet but he is now 4 years old and I cant get him through his ABC I have been working with him and trying differnt things he did have his counting down from 1-10 but when I tried to interduce ABC he gets them messed up even when hes just repeating them after me he is able to sit through a tv show but is easky ditraced he is very hyper i have trying taking red #40 and yellow out of his diet but nothing seems to calm him down it seems like the day never ends for him hes getting out of his naps and still staying up really late I just dont under stand should i take him to the doctor and than what about the medications that they would be putting him on i dont want a child that just sits there and cant be a kid at the same time how do you win with problems like this i have tryed time outs but they dont seem to work because he cant sit still i have been asked many times what is wrong with my child and all i can reply with is hes a child do you think he is this way because hes still young and hell grow out of it what should i do if i could get some answers from a parent that has been through it than i might be able to get somewhere

Terri - posted on 11/04/2009

Hi Sami,



Our son was just diagnosed with ADD last week. He is a wonderful child, very sweet and tender hearted, but he's had trouble in school ever since he's started and he's 8 now in the 2nd grade. We started him in Kindergarden at public school and it was a train wreck. Within 6 weeks, we switched him to a private school and they told us he just wasn't ready for K. (His birthday is just days away from the cut off) So, he had the gift year - what K was back in the day - play dough, playing, crayons, etc. We then home schooled him for K and it was somewhat difficult to get him to pay attention, but he's my only child, so I really don't have a measure of what a "normal" childs' attention span is supposed to be. In 1st grade, we tried a magnet public school again and again it was a train wreck. By October, his teacher wanted an intervention with the principal, superintendent, etc. Yikes. We put him in private school (we moved away from that first area) and he did pretty well in 1st grade. His teacher also has a child who's ADD, so I think she knows better how to cope. Now, in 2nd grade, we had a parent teacher conference a few weeks ago with his teacher and she was telling us how he tips his chair back all day long, can never find his books or assignments in his desk, when she gives instructions to the whole class he always says "I don't get it", then she comes over and says read the instructions, he does and then he "gets it", when she's reading in reading circle, he just gets up and walks off, etc. I asked her on a scale of 1-10, what would be the amount of time she's spending on dealing with him during the day, and the focus it takes away from the class room. She said an 8-9. So, I knew we had to do something. I called his pediatrician and he suggested we (his parents) could take the Connors test, or we could see a psychiatrist. We've been through some very difficult things with our ped. and he just rocks. We really trust him. He said if he scores high on the Connors test, though, that the psychiatrist won't be able to help him and they'll just send him back to the ped. So, we took the Connors test first and he did score high on it by us and his teacher. We are setting up a consultation next week to talk to his ped. about meds. In the meantime, we've found a program called Brain Balance http://www.brainbalancecenters.com/ and it seems to be doing wonders for kids with autism, ADD, Asberger's, etc. I want to get him evaluated, but the center in our area isn't open yet. They've had really good results with this program and it's a non-med approach, so it's definitely something we're going to consider.

Sami - posted on 11/04/2009

Thank you Lyndsay, I will try to keep this in mind, as I do think I have used the phrase (or something like it) "Try" meaning he didn't appear to be really trying. Does this course say anything in reference to signs they are really trying though it doesn't seem like it vs they really aren't trying?

Lyndsay - posted on 11/04/2009

I strongly suspect my son has ADHD, but then again he's only 2 so it could just be the age. I don't have tons of experience with this, but I'm currently taking a course in abnormal psychology and we just covered ADHD and ODD, so I will share some information with you from that.

The main difference between the two is that ADHD kids are not being defiant on purpose... they are not trying to push your buttons or piss you off, they are just struggling with whatever it is you are asking of them. In most cases they simply cannot do it. ODD kids, on the other hand, are purposely defiant. They may (or may not) be able to do whatever you're asking of them, but choose not to for whatever reason.

MOST CASES of oppositional defiant disorder begin with ADHD, and it all depends on how you handle the situation. One of the worst things you can do is tell the child to "try harder". Often they are trying harder than everybody else (particularly in a school situation), and yet they are still failing. If they are trying and trying and trying, and failing, eventually they are going to give up. This is when it becomes more of an ODD situation... such as when a teacher tells them to "try harder", they tell the teacher to fuck off.

Basically the best way to manage ADHD is to break everything down into very small parts, and reward every step of the way. This is the example that my professor used, it pertains more to group work but it can relate to individual kids as well. If you are planning to build a bird house with an ADHD child, you don't give them all the materials and tell them to build it and come back to you when you're done. You give them the roof and tell them to paint it, then reward them for that. Then you give them the body and have them attach it, and reward them for that. Then you paint the house, and reward them for that. etc etc etc.

Hope this helps. :)

Sami - posted on 11/04/2009

thank you I will check into that book!

Elizabeth - posted on 11/04/2009

it's a behavior modification system for kids 2 or 3 and up :) you can purchase the book on Amazon for relatively cheap... basically it's a no arguing no fighting 1-2-3 approach to discourage unwanted behaviors. It worked with all three of ours to a certain degree! :)

Sami - posted on 11/04/2009

Quoting Dalinda:

Store tantrum this was the worste but it just took two time of leaving all the groceries at the story and sacrifing until the next day.

Yes I hav efoen this many times!  :) But it does work, they don't believe you will actually leave the store with out your purchase, but when you stick to your word it goes a long way. That goes for many things. I have learned with Gavin - YOU MUST STICK TO WHAT YOU SAY NO IDLE THREATS.