Samantha - posted on 03/23/2011 ( 39 moms have responded )
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me and my husband sepertaqed and i do have a asian male friend whom i sleep with and im just wonderin does my baby boy look asian or does he look black and white.. im to scared to tell my husband cuz we r back toghter
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Christel - posted on 03/26/2011
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your son does not look asian or black so I have to say is get the blood test!
Katherine - posted on 03/25/2011
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DNA test would be the answer
Mandy - posted on 03/25/2011
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if this baby boy was consieved when you were split up then nothing to worry about buttrust me when i say getting it fgured out now is way easier then if and hopefully not something happens and you need blood or anything from the father it will come out. if you have been together for as long as you say then your friendship should be good enough to withstand this and the relationship maybe get stronger when the truth is out there. its better to be hurt by a truth then to be hurt by a lie!! hope it work out for you.
Nikkole - posted on 03/25/2011
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If you don't have trust and honesty in your marriage then it will not last you need to tell your husband because no one really knows whos the father so i would get the DNA test done for everyones sake
Tara - posted on 03/25/2011
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I know most people have said that he doesn't look Asian but I wouldn't be sure. If the man who may be the father is 100% Asian then he would only be half and having married into a Japanese family I have seen a lot of mixed kids and some look like your son.
I agree with the person who said that it is early tell. When my daughter was born she had slanted eyes and lots of super dark hair, now anyone that meets here thinks she looks like me. And although my kids are both 1/4 Japanese they both ended up with my blue eyes.
If you can do a mail order DNA test using your husband's DNA it will take a lot off your mind regardless of which answer comes back.
Elizabeth - posted on 03/25/2011
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he looks like the other one in the picture
Ashley=) - posted on 03/25/2011
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He doesn't look Asian to me anyway.I would 100% take a dna test.I feel its the best thing to do in this situation mom.Do you think?
Anni - posted on 03/25/2011
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I don't think he is Asian. I am asian, we have certain traits that are pretty dominant.
Julieann - posted on 03/25/2011
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I forgot to say that I saw the picture, and he looks more like a black and white child to me , than Asian.
Julieann - posted on 03/25/2011
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Do the DNA test using your husband's DNA, but don't tell him anything until you get the results back. If the baby is his, then keep your secret to yourself (asuuming you're no longer seeing the other guy), and live happily ever after. Because men don't get over that type of thing as well as women do. So if you're committed to being with him and only him, then there's no reason to share this painful secret. But if it's not his baby then you have to tell him now. Otherwise he WILL find out someday down the road. He is more likely to forgive now then after years of living a lie. Good luck, everyone makes mistakes. You might have to forgive yourself and let it go, at some point.
Ruthie - posted on 03/25/2011
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I know from experince that the hey you concived about this date can be off to say the least. I had that issue with my oldest. If you do tell your hsband is up to you however most places that do DNA testing will probably want to start with him first. As for the other guy you can always get a cort order for a dna test if push comes to shove they do it all the time for child support cases. I do know that if you get an anwser from a dna test that you were not expecting it can be hard but it is esier knowing than not knowing. my son was about 2 when i finally found out for sure whose he was between the 2 guys I had been involved with. Its a lot easier knowing.
Julie - posted on 03/24/2011
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I've not read one post about this childs right to know who his biological parents are. Its all about the selfish adults and who will get hurt if the truth comes out. OMG. My two children joined out family through adoption and they know they have birth parents and real (us) parents. Do the right thing you know what that is.
April - posted on 03/24/2011
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I agree that keeping secrets is no good in a marriage. However, in attempt to ease your mind, Jayden does not look Asian.
Effia - posted on 03/24/2011
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look.you better find a way to tell the truth!Get ready for the worst and stand up to your mistakes!And btw,what makes u think he s been faithful too.....your husband may as well have a secret to share too...who knows?
Bonnie - posted on 03/24/2011
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Interesting.
Stephanie - posted on 03/24/2011
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Yep lol. I just googled it! : p
http://www.circleofmoms.com/track_link.p...
Oh crap! I just read the fine print and you have to pay $119 more to get the results read. What a bummer. : /
Bonnie - posted on 03/24/2011
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Do they seriously sell DNA tests at Walmart? LOL
Stephanie - posted on 03/24/2011
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You can buy a DNA test at Walmart for under $30. His eyes are very round so he probably isn't Asian but do a test to ease your mind...and use better judgement next time, for your children's sake if not your own.
Sarah - posted on 03/24/2011
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I agree with the other ladies, You need to tell your husband the truth and then get a DNA test done...It's sort of pointless to get on here and ask that question...what will our opinions prove? We cannot tell you one way or the other...because that is something you need to find out thru the DNA testing. Good luck.
Bonnie - posted on 03/24/2011
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If I were you I would get a DNA test done. Honestly, when you think about this, do you want to have this worry and thought in your head all the time?
Amanda - posted on 03/24/2011
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It's hard to tell what a child will look like when they are babies. Mostly it is important that you and your husband are open and honest with each other, in order to make your relationship work. Keeping a secret, like that this baby might not be his, would be a very bad thing for him to find out after you have spent years trying to work things through (you'd have to start all over again). I would like to note that if you are continuing your sexual relationship with this male friend, regardless of the parentage of the baby, you are likely to end your relationship with your husband anyway.
Erica - posted on 03/24/2011
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Sorry to say but your not doing yourself a favor by not telling him. I believe you need to be upfront and honest now!!!!! What happens if he finds out in a year, two or ten? Then you will feel even worse about not saying anything and if the other guy is the dad you are denying him the right to his child.
Dont hide getting a DNA test if that is what you feel needs to be done. Your husband might suprise you and not care
Jenni - posted on 03/24/2011
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Get a DNA test!!! There are affordable ones offered online for personal use (don't think they'd hold up in court just because they wouldn't be able to prove who's DNA you used). My husband questioned the paternity of my SD and to ease his mind he bought one.
My mom actually believed there was a mix up in the hospital after she gave birth my sister. Kind of embarrassing but she thought my sister looked Asian. She had only been with my father, they are both Caucasion. So she even asked the nurse if there was a mix up.... well, my sister definitely does not look Asian now... she had black hair as a baby, she now has blonde hair, freckles and blue eyes... so NB can change in appearence drastically as they age. My husband had blond hair as a toddler... it turned black when he was around 4 years old. Not that hair and eye colour are always an indiction of race just showing that babies/children can change appearence drastically.
But still, get the DNA test NOW. Before anyone gets hurt. Of course your husband may be hurt at first but how much more is he going to be hurt if he's grown attatched to your son believing he is his. Then finds out down the road that he's not! He may forgive you for your indescretion (you two were split after all) but he may never forgive you if he finds out later that his son isn't his and you hid the possibility of another's paternity.
Samantha - posted on 03/24/2011
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@jodi... the reson why i dont know is because they said i conceived april 22 by ultrasound and i sleep with the asian guy april 17 and my husband april 20 ... my periods wasnt normally my known last period was april 1st but the ultrasound said april 8
Samantha - posted on 03/24/2011
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thanks all ... i believe soon i will have the balls totell my husband...
Rosie - posted on 03/23/2011
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I'd get a DNA test, and if it turns out that your husband is not the father, i would immediately tell him. it's not fair to your child to deprive him of his biological father, or at least knowing where he came from. my husband was lied to for 14 year about who his biological father was, until he overheard his mom and step dad talking about it. he was furious, and hurt and beyond betrayed. these things always have a way of coming out. hope everything turns out the way you want it to. :)
Stifler's - posted on 03/23/2011
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I agree with Jen and Jodi, DNA test is really the only way to tell who the father is.
Sapphire - posted on 03/23/2011
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I would insist on knowing the true father of my child. Sugar-coating it or down-playing the issue could lead to huge problems down the road. Infidelity & lying is what you need to WORK HARD on and move past in order for your marriage to remain intact and stable. Nothing is worse than doubting "Who's the Daddy?" It is only fair to you, your husband, your son, and the other guy to know the truth. That's part of being an adult and sucking it up to your mistakes.
Jenn - posted on 03/23/2011
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I think it's time to get a DNA test. :/
Christy - posted on 03/23/2011
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Def not Asian looking, more like black and white to me.
Also I would get a DNA test and if the results come back that he's not the dad, talk to him. Otherwise if he is, take your secret to the grave. All it's gonna do when you tell him is make life hell for you and baby.
Jodi - posted on 03/23/2011
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Well, I guess in some way that is understandable. If your marriage goes South again and he turns out to be the dad, he's be concerned about being stuck with child support :D
I still wouldn't lie to my husband about it. Can I just ask why you aren't sure about your dates? Is it because you slept with this other guy only days before you got back with your husband, or days after you split with him? Do you know your ovulation cycle?
Jocelyn - posted on 03/23/2011
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He doesn't look Asian to me.
Why don't you just compare your hubby's dna with your sons? (since the asian guy doesn't want to do it) Just sneak his toothbrush out of the house or something.
Teresa - posted on 03/23/2011
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There is truth in the saying 'the truth will set you free'. The guilt is getting to you cuz lying is wrong. The truth is HARD, I don't doubt that, but if he is committed to you than you both can get through this together. Marriage counseling may be a good idea for the two of you.
Good luck!!
Samantha - posted on 03/23/2011
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and i know its bad to hide things but we have been married since i was 17 .. 7 years now he is all i know and my silly but when things was going ba d went and had fun ... and my guilt gets to me every day...
Samantha - posted on 03/23/2011
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yes i have and the guy doesnt want to... my husband says he look just like nour other two boys... both my oldest boys have bright eyes and so does my husband and his family... so since the other guy doesnt want to ake the test... i dont know what to do
â™*PHOENIX*â™ - posted on 03/23/2011
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No he looks half Black if anything, but defiantly not half Asian, my son is Half Korean and has very slanted eyes, and if your half Asian, you will at least have some sort of slant to your eyes, and your son does not.
Jodi - posted on 03/23/2011
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Samantha, if you are now getting back together in your relationship, you can't start a new beginning with a lie. What is your marriage going to be based on then?
Have you thought of perhaps getting a DNA test done with the Asian guy?
Samantha - posted on 03/23/2011
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yeah u do have a point but m just so scard he will leave cuz we are now gettin where we need to be in life.. and i posted a poic of him and me on my profile pic
Teresa - posted on 03/23/2011
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I can't access a picture of him, but if you are going to make it work w/ your husband.... keeping a secret this big is probably not a good idea.
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