ok my question is how old should you stop tucking your kids into bed , my kids are 14 . 11. 7 and they want me to kiss and hug them good night . but ex has to 14 year old no more your to old and 11 no more hugs or kiss , i think thats messed up , what do you think .

Kate - posted on 04/21/2009 ( 455 moms have responded )

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tucking kids in bed and saying night with a kiss and a hug

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Karen - posted on 04/21/2009

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I have two boys 11 and 7. They are tucked in every night by my husband and myself. I say enjoy it while it lasts. If they tell you they are too old for it, then stop. If they ask for it then don't say no. It is not about the adults. It's about the kids and keeping them feeling happy and loved.

MiMi - posted on 04/21/2009

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Then he doesn't have to do it, but it doesn't mean that you have to stop. Not till your kids tell you themselves. I think he's being a little stiff about it. They aren't kids forever. Does he hug his parents when he see's them? If not it might explain a lot. But you should do it as long as you want to, or as long as your kids want you to. Don't let him ruin it for you. And don't let him try to talk them out of hugging you! If he's your EX then he should have no say or interference in what you do! Good Luck!

Bob - posted on 11/04/2013

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I think you're all off your rocker. Thats what is wrong with society today. We baby these kids too much. A teenage boy should not wany mommy to still tuck him in every night. That leads him into not learning to do things for himself, and they dont learn to become self reliant adults. My wife still stays up all hours of the night helping him with homework that he knows how to do, but since mommy will help him, he keeps asking her to do it. At some point, you have to let the baby bird learn to fly on its own, and yes, sometimes they will fall, but didnt we all make mistakes in our lives? Yes, we all fell, and we learned from it. Once they are teenagers, they should be learning to do things for themselves, including going to bed.

User - posted on 05/07/2009

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NEVER stop tucking your kids into bed!!!! I have 3 children ages 18,,11 & * and I tell you right now, there are many many parents out there that don't even tuck their kids in...what a shame! Enjoy this opportunity to spend the last minutes of their day in your presence~~~ smile and gently kiss them ---- their life will be richly rewarded for your unconditional love and they will have a sense of such peace!!! Your's will be richly rewarded too! Blessings in Christ!

Kelli-Anne - posted on 04/30/2009

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I have a 21yr old son that still lives at home and will sometimes still get me to fix his blankets for him, especially in the winter. there is nothing wrong with showing caring and affection to your children at any age, I dread the day my children leave home.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/04/2013

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Oh, Bob, you ARE amusing.

Tucking kids in and saying goodnight, I love you to them is NOT what is causing entitlement issues in teens, it is NOT teaching them to not be self sufficient, nor is it turning them into a generation of mamma's boys.

Your wife doing your son's homework IS causing these issues. Parents who feel that their precious angels can do no wrong, and insisting on special treatment at every turn ARE causing these issues. Parents who refuse to allow their young adults to grow by insisting that they pursue a certain major or field, rather than allowing their kid to pursue their interests ARE causing these issues.

Me stopping into my 16 yo's room to sit, visit with him for a few, pull up his blankets, give him a kiss and tell him I love him IS NOT causing these issues.

Me texting my 19 yo (who lives on his own, is EXTREMELY self sufficient, and completely independent) to sleep well and telling him I love him IS NOT causing these issues. (Quite obviously, because he IS successful, and I 'tucked' him in every night just like I do with his brother.

So, I'll tell you what. You tell your wife to quit enabling your kid to be completely dependent on her for the rest of his life, and fix the issues in your own house before looking at others with criticism.

Kelly - posted on 05/07/2009

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I think we never stop loving our kids and we should never stop telling them or showing them. There will come a day when they will not let you tuck them in anymore. Enjoy it while it last. Let them be kids snd feel like kids. They will be adults soon enough. Don't fast forward life for them.

Yulina - posted on 05/01/2009

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My 11 year old still insists on a hug, a kiss and tuck. I think it's wonderful because the time will come when he won't want it anymore because it's not "cool". I plan to get as many hugs and kisses right up until then. During the day - we are too busy with life's demands that this little respite and gesture of love should be practised.

[deleted account]

I don't think they are ever TOO old to be tucked in w/a goodnight kiss. My boys are 7 & 5, and I always read them a story, kiss them goodnight and tuck them in bed. I've been doing this since they were babies:) I plan on doing this as long as I can!

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I don't think they are ever TOO old to be tucked in w/a goodnight kiss. My boys are 7 & 5, and I always read them a story, kiss them goodnight and tuck them in bed. I've been doing this since they were babies:) I plan on doing this as long as I can!

Vilma - posted on 05/01/2009

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They are never too old for love! People need to feel secure and wanted, what if they or you never woke up in the morning? Keep doing it, its good for your soul and being and theirs :)

Melissa - posted on 05/01/2009

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I would follow the lead of each child.....if they still want it, I'd do it...hugs and kisses and all......I see nothing wrong with it.

Rosemarie - posted on 05/01/2009

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I say never stop!!! I am a mom of five beautiful children, ages, 34, 33, 29, 27 and 20, three girls and 2 boys, grandmother of 9. There is something so precious to tuck them in, give them a kiss and hug and tell them you love them. My oldest child, a daughter, Jessica, lived in Ohio, I live in North Carolina. When she would come to visit, with her 3 children, she would still give me a hug and kiss and tell me she loved me. Now, I only have those memories, she died on February 28, 2009. My comfort through this is that I KNOW how much she loved me and she KNOWS how much I loved her. Cherish your children and let them know how much you love them, because we don't know what tomorrow holds.

Eva - posted on 04/30/2009

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You should never stop the hugs and kisses unless the kids say they feel too old. Most times the kids do not feel too old. I had an ex and he made my son feel really bad about the hugs and kisses, so I feel bad that happened. My daughter and I tried to tell my son it was OK he was young and hugs and kisses were for everyone. Unfortunately he did not think he could live that way since he was teased by his father.

Cindy - posted on 04/30/2009

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I don't see anything wrong with tucking your kids into bed no matter what age they are. You can NEVER give enough hugs and kisses to your children. You never know, that could very well be the last hug and kiss you get to give them. Time is short and no one knows when that time is for them. So you just keep on giving your children hugs and kisses good night! I know I will and mine are 15, 13, 6, and 5.

Heather - posted on 04/30/2009

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my 21 yr old step STILL comes home from the Navy wanting to be "tucked in" Sometimes it is she coming in to us for that hug, kiss, and small talk instead of us tucking her. There is no TOO OLD. "Tucking in" is a private one on one time of affirmation for the child. Why would you ever stop?

Jennifer - posted on 04/30/2009

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I will tuck my kids in forever if they let me! LOL! I think that as long as the kids are craving that attention, that it will only make you closer in the end. My oldest are 11 and 7 (going to be 8 in July) and they will not go to sleep at night until I have given them a kiss and a hug. They also get upset if my husband or I don't tell them good-bye with a kiss or hug whenever we leave the house. I am proud, as a Mom, that we are all close enough that the kids want the phyical attention and closeness we can give them. I think your ex is being irrational, but he will be the one who may have to deal with resentment and relationship issues from the kids in the long run.

Tracee - posted on 04/29/2009

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I have four kids, they range in age from 26 down... they still all love cuddles, the 19yr old boy still loves being hugged and kissed, and if staying overnight enjoys a chat and tuck into bed (if im still up) they 13 yr old boy just loves it, I reckon keep doing it as they grow to quick and it helps them be loving parents in the future as well

Regina - posted on 04/29/2009

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I BELIVE THAT AS PARENTS WE HAVE THE OPORTUNITY TO SHOW OUR CHILDREN HEALTHY BEHAVIOURS, ONE OF THEM IS HEALTHY RELATIONS AND WHAT LOVE IS. KISSING OUR CHILDREN GOOD NIGHT AND TELLING THEM WE LOVE THEM, IS GREAT MY MOM TELLS ME SHE LOVES ME AND I AM A GRAND-MOTHER MYSELF. IS BEST THE KIDS FEEL LOVE AT HOME WITH FAMILLY THEN TO HAVE THEM SURCHING FOR IT IN THE WRONG PLACES.

[deleted account]

My girls are 9 and 13 and can't bear the thought of not being tucked in! I told them when they were tiny that I would tuck them in until they're 50 if they want me to, so even though it's sometimes a pain, I do it and count my blessings. My mom and dad were never very physically expressive, so I love the fact that my 13 year old hugs and kisses me good bye/goodnight, even if her friends are around. There are times when my child's hug is about the only thing that keeps me going, so as long as they want me to, I'll tuck them in and thank God my kids won't ever question if I love them.

Karen - posted on 04/29/2009

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do you want angry rebellious teens? if so, stop tucking them in. Let them know that they are too old for that and they will let you know that they are too old for you to set rules for them.

Karen - posted on 04/29/2009

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TUCK THEM IN UNTIL THEY KICK YOU OUT!!!!!! THIS WILL BE GONE ALL TO SOON. Demand that your husband back up his OPINION (he is NOT an expert) with psychological facts as to why they are too old. He sounds jealous to me. DO NOT STOP DO NOT STOP DO NOT STOP!!!!!!!! Nothing good can come of denying your children your love and affection.

Trish - posted on 04/29/2009

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the hugs and kisses i meant the ex is not getting lol.
and i also look at it as it shows u raised them well and they will do the same with there own children. u keep goin strong and tell the EX to get a life

Trish - posted on 04/29/2009

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i think if they want to still give u a hug and kiss goodnight when they are 30 years old let them that is just showing u how much they love and appreciate you. and as for the tucking in part i have a 17 year old girl and 5 boys aged 12,12,11,10,8 and everyone of them still get tucked in and hugs and kisses at night they are my babies, and they are your babies no matter how big they are and they love u to death, don't worry what the EX says just ask him if he is jealous that he is not getting them.

Bethany - posted on 04/29/2009

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When they stop appreciating it is when I would stop. If it makes them happy continue. One day you will look back on it and be glad that they let you give them all that love and you will miss getting to do it. It's a privilage!!!

Debra - posted on 04/29/2009

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I agree with you if they want it and you want to I think its great they will one day not care to have that and you will also one day be an empty nester like myself...I come on here for my grandkids and get helpful idea...I am a young grandmother...I carried my son to his room till I no longer could when he wanted my attention and if I recall he was about 7 and also tucked him in and layed down some nights for a bit as he wanted me to...whats the probloem with the husband that he feels he needs to voice his opinion about this is he jealous? these are his kids too he should be proud that they still love there mommy that way...it means u raised them well...better they want that them some unfortunate children who hand on a street corner at that young age not know what a loving mom is....

Christine - posted on 04/29/2009

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I say hey if they still want to be tucked in then take advantage of it they don't live in the home forever before they part from you. My daughter's still loved to be tucked and I have a 13teen and10year old. So you keep tucking away.

Tribby - posted on 04/29/2009

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Kate,

As long as those kids want you to tuck them in kiss & them good nite girl you go for it ! There are way to many kids that need ans want that but dont get it....Besides don't look at it as a negative but use it as a positive...THat was when i found my girls would talk to me the most was about 11 oclock at night when i wandered by their rooms....you hang in there & tell you ex that maybe He needs to be tucked in and kissed & hugged at night more often...lol

Jennifer - posted on 04/29/2009

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I think you sould love on them as long as they will let you.. because one day they will start pushing you aways... My kids are 9 and 11 .. and I wont stop until they have just had enough ..lol .. best of luck

Lynn - posted on 04/29/2009

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I think this is a case-by-case decision. If you are all still benefiting from this intimate ritual, by all means continue! It's not up to anyone outside the 'circle' to limit this time. THE CHILDREN WILL TELL YOU WHEN IT IS TIME...and they all may have different needs as individuals. For instance, I an 57, and when I go visit my parents--I am bless to still have both of them--my mother still gives me a goodnight kiss. It's not about age. It's about closeness! I don't think we should ever limit our affections toward one another.

Lynn - posted on 04/29/2009

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I think this is a case-by-case decision. If you are all still benefiting from this intimate ritual, by all means continue! It's not up to anyone outside the 'circle' to limit this time. THE CHILDREN WILL TELL YOU WHEN IT IS TIME...and they all may have different needs as individuals. For instance, I an 57, and when I go visit my parents--I am bless to still have both of them--my mother still gives me a goodnight kiss. It's not about age. It's about closeness! I don't think we should ever limit our affections toward one another.

Tabitha - posted on 04/28/2009

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My kids are 19, 18 an 17....and I only wish they still wanted tucked in at night...one day they wount want it any more..dont give it up until they make you!....and does your husband go to bed with no kiss or hug?...Tell hubby to enjoy the little things..before long they are gone.

Paula - posted on 04/28/2009

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I usually am not on this site...I am more on the bereavment circle of moms...so my comment is....tuck in your children for as long as you can, love them and never take it for granted that ...oh this night just go to bed on your own...I'll see you tomorrow. I can tell you that some times tomorrow never comes....and I wish that I could tuck away every night....and I would have done it till she would have been old and grey. So tell your EX.....loving, cuddling, and tucking them at night doesn't ever grow old ....ever.



for you Karen....just above me...I have that book, love it and got it a few weeks before she died....the poem is on her grave marker....

thanks

Sherian - posted on 04/28/2009

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Well, my kids are 17 and 15. I still kiss them goodnight when they go to bed. Sometimes I make it to bed before they do and then they kiss me goodnight and tuck me in! My mom tucked me in bed the night before my wedding at age 21. There's no magic age. Love your kids! Who cares what anyone else thinks?

Rebecca - posted on 04/28/2009

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I still give a hugs and kisses to my 18 yr old. You should give your kids hugs and kisses always. There is no age limit. They won't always let ya, so enjoy it while it lasts. Sorry but your ex is a Dummy

Janice - posted on 04/28/2009

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I dont care how old they are if they want or need a kiss a hug or even tucked in--then give it to them---they might just need it

Dawn - posted on 04/28/2009

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I don't care old the kids are, my 18 year old still gives me a hug and kiss on the cheek before going to bed and so do my other 2 boys 13, and 16.

Shuntrice - posted on 04/28/2009

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honey keep on doing this to your kids! because when they get grown you will miss it and they will tooo!!!

Annette - posted on 04/28/2009

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i think u should tuck them in bed as long as they want it..let's face it kids grow up to fast and my kid will never be to old for me to give him a hug and kiss goodnite ..

Annette - posted on 04/28/2009

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i think u should tuck them in bed as long as they want it..let's face it kids grow up to fast and my kid will never be to old for me to give him a hug and kiss goodnite ..

Kelly - posted on 04/28/2009

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i think the kids will tell you when they want you to stop i still kiss my son goodnight everynight and sometimes he even wants me to tuck him in so enjoy it they will stop it soon enough and belive me they will by the way my son will be 16 next month they always need mom at least for a while

Sarah - posted on 04/28/2009

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I think as long as they want you, do it...too soon they decide that they're too old. I will always give my kids a little special time before bed as long as they're willing. Some of the best conversations with your teen happen when you're alone. no pressure for them too.

Stacey - posted on 04/28/2009

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It will happen soon enough that your kids don't want your slimy lips to contaminate theirs, enjoy it as long as it lasts.

Stacey - posted on 04/28/2009

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It will happen soon enough that your kids don't want your slimy lips to contaminate theirs, enjoy it as long as it lasts.

Sally - posted on 04/28/2009

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My kids are now 22 and 19 and now are off living at college. We gave each other hug/kiss goodnite everynight. Even during the challenging teen years, the hug/kiss goodnight was always there showing them we loved them. Balanced with encouraging their independance and letting go it helps them know their parent(s) are always there for them. It also teaches the compasion and that its ok to show someone that you care for them. Keep hugging and balance with encouraging independence. ps. When my kids come home to visit, they always great me with a hug/kiss, even in front of there freinds. Can't beat that!

Julie - posted on 04/28/2009

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When they move out! Until then I think takig five minutes to tuck them in, kiis them good night and say "I love you" is one of the best things you can do for a child. No matter what has come before that is a way of letting them know you love them. Your ex has some issues I think or is it coz there boys? Perhaps it's the whole "boys shouldn't hug and kiss" thing. If that's what it is get him to find another way to express himself, a hand shake, a rugby tackle if needs be... SOMETHING to let them know they are still loved.

[deleted account]

I think its great you still tuck your kids into bed! It shows what a great relationship you have with them! for them to want you to do that for them every night says youre doing something right in my opinion! Keep it up! I do it for my 7 yr old and dont plan on stopping any time soon!

April - posted on 04/28/2009

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i dont think your kids are ever to old mine are 10 and 13 and they get a kiss hug and goodnight i love u see u in the morning every night

Faith - posted on 04/28/2009

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At these ages you should feel fortunate and grateful your kids still want to say goodnight and give hugs and kisses!!

Marie - posted on 04/28/2009

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If they still want to be tucked in/kissed & cuddled then don't stop til they're ready! Once you get out of the habit its very hard to get back into. We didn't really do the hugs & kisses so much once we got older, and now that ma is gone I really think dad misses getting hugs from his girls.

Carey - posted on 04/28/2009

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I think you are never too old for hugs and kisses. I am 31 years old and when I visit my parents, we kiss and hug everyone good night before wondering off to bed. Same with leaving their house... we have a "tradition" of hugging and kissing everyone as we leave their house and then waving goodbye as we drive away - them on the front porch waving and us in the car waving. I guess if you really think about it, you could loose a loved one at any time... so letting them know that you are there for them and care about them means alot to you and to them.

Angela - posted on 04/28/2009

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Quite honestly, I don't think there's a specific age. I hope when my boys are 11 or 14 they still want that interaction with me. I have a 8, 6 & 3 year old and they would not go to bed until I give them a kiss goodnight. Now if your older boys are refusing you hug and kiss them I think you should respect their wishes. Or come to a compromise that they give you a hug or kiss before heading up to bed but you don't need to go up with them.

Darlene - posted on 04/28/2009

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I'm a mother of 4 married children and I tucked them and and kissed them goodnite until they suggested they were too old. hugs and kisses are always needed.

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