Only 1 Baby shower

Sharon - posted on 08/11/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )

11,585

12

1314

Yes you read it right. Etiquette says you only get one baby shower.



There are exceptions to the rule. A number of years between children and not getting a shower the first time around.



There is NO RULE to celebrating the birth of a baby. If you look up the definition of a baby shower - its about getting gifts. Soliciting gifts with the birth of each child is TACKY.



Do not call it a baby shower if you are concerned with appearances, tell people its a Motherblessing for a more spiritual party.



Please don't use the alternative 'blessingway' you might see on the internet - I've been told its offensive to the native Navajos.



For a men welcome party - try a "Sip & See" party. This one is held a month after the baby is born, and guests sip drinks, look at the baby and generally just mingle. You can look up more information on these as you like.



I'm really thrifty. Saved everything. When people asked what I needed - I asked for food. LOL please send casseroles in disposable dishes. We had a great time. Looked at the ultrasound pics got giggly, shared stories. A few gifts showed up, I got a lot of gift certs for eating out because no one in my family cooks and none of my friends did either.



When I got gifts of things I already had - I asked the giver to please return and donate the money - no one wanted to bother - so I asked if I could donate the items to needier children in their names.



PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE by all means celebrate the birth of your child. If you're asking about the proper etiquette, then no, do not have a second baby shower.



Love your children and cherish them!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Krista - posted on 08/11/2009

4,111

52

264

You know where I stand on this, Sharon and I doubt I could have said it any better. Having acquired all that I will need for a second child, I wouldn't want gifts. That food thing had never occurred to me, but that's an awesome idea. I barely ate the first few weeks of my son's life because i hadn't the time (or stamina) to cook proper meals.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

17 Comments

View replies by

Sharon - posted on 08/12/2009

11,585

12

1314

Definitely a cause for...



Celebration!!!



Yahoo! This is your celebration

Yahoo! This is your celebration



Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)



There's a party goin' on right here

A celebration to last throughout the years

So bring your good times, and your laughter too

We gonna celebrate your party with you



Come on now



Celebration

Let's all celebrate and have a good time

Celebration

We gonna celebrate and have a good time



It's time to come together

It's up to you, what's your pleasure



Everyone around the world

Come on!



Yahoo! It's a celebration

Yahoo!



Celebrate good times, come on!

It's a celebration

Celebrate good times, come on!

Let's celebrate



We're gonna have a good time tonight

Let's celebrate, it's all right

We're gonna have a good time tonight

Let's celebrate, it's all right



Baby...



We're gonna have a good time tonight (Ce-le-bra-tion)

Let's celebrate, it's all right

We're gonna have a good time tonight (Ce-le-bra-tion)

Let's celebrate, it's all right



Yahoo!

Yahoo!



Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)

Celebrate good times, come on!

It's a celebration!

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)



Come on and celebrate, good times, tonight (Celebrate good times, come on!)

'Cause everything's gonna be all right

Let's celebrate (Celebrate good times, come on)

(Let's celebrate)...

Libby - posted on 08/12/2009

937

19

122

I'm having my 4th child and my mom is throwing me a baby shower. My boys are 7 & 5 and we lost our daughter last year (she was stillborn). So, this is a celebration for our family. I'm also turning 30 next month and really don't want the focus on me. I don't want a party for myself and I don't want presents for me. So, I'm so glad my mom said she would do this instead. During my last pregnancy I was on bedrest for 2 out of the 5 months I was pregnant and didn't get a chance to buy anything for her. Now this time I've enjoyed buying a few things and I'm sure the friends and family around me who know what we've been through will enjoy it as well. I am very blessed to have such wonderful people around me!

Amy - posted on 08/12/2009

352

9

32

Haha...I did that at Wal-Mart...they have an online "wish list"...I'm still wishing...sigh.
Hell I want laundry service now damn it! I'm fat and tired and working a crappy shift and chasing an almost 3yr old around the house...we now have "clean clothes" baskets because folding took too long. I just want it folded and put away...those damn fairy's never got the memo to do it for me :-/

Sharon - posted on 08/12/2009

11,585

12

1314

yep yep.



Now if someone can help me justify "I have PMS & feel like crap and need you to provide food for the family and um laundry services" party - I'll really be happy.



I did the same Amy - got a registry so I could keep track of what I needed to replace and etc.



To tell the truth sometimes I feel like going to Target and making a registry for a wedding or something just to see what I THINK I need in a list with dollar signs, lol.

Amy - posted on 08/12/2009

352

9

32

I love your posts Sharon....you bring on the giggles most times. I have to agree 1 SHOWER. But many celebrations. I love your food idea! It makes so much sense. Most times when you have a baby celebration, your close friends and family will bring gifts (even if asked not to) but to have a shower with a gift registry attached is tacky.
I am on # 2, and I have a registry, but I only use it as an online list of what I need to get before new baby gets here. The only people who know about this list is my Mom and husband.
Hell at this point I want a party! I want party food! I don't even care if it's my party...lol! Bring on the deviled eggs, mixed nuts, dips and breads!

Angie - posted on 08/12/2009

318

43

13

I don't think it is necessary...if people want to give gifts for your 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th...they will do it. I don't think people need to have a shower just to get gifts. I also think 1 big shower is all you need (usually for their first one). I did have 2 and I felt like it was a waste of time. There was a lot of thought going into both, but I felt like there is probably someone else that deserved it more than me...considering I already had the necessatities (sp?) from the first one.

Cathralynn - posted on 08/12/2009

692

29

85

I loooove you sharon! Even if I don't always agree with you, you crack me up! It's sooo refreshing to see someone speak their mind. My impression is that you don't care what others think in return and so don't use rude language or repeatedly comment saying the same thing. "You're wrong and I'm right" Beautiful!

Isobel - posted on 08/11/2009

9,849

0

282

Ladies...this is a very simple case of semantics...welcoming party, shower, whatever...people will bring gifts if they want. It's not that big of a deal.

Sharon - posted on 08/11/2009

11,585

12

1314

you're wrong Malinda - read the whole thing. Its only proper for close friends and family or those who did NOT attend the first shower. That wasn't clear in my original post. I had addressed it before and it slipeed my mind.

this is the reply I found from Emily Post archives...

Q. Is it proper etiquette for an expectant mother to host a baby shower for her 2nd baby?



A. While it is never appropriate for someone to host a shower (baby or bridal) for themselves, it is perfectly fine to throw a baby shower for a mother’s second or third baby, as long as the guest list is limited to close relatives and very close friends and/or guests who did not attend a shower for the first child. It is an especially nice event for the mother-to-be if several years have passed since the last baby was born, since the parents will have fewer hand-me-downs for the new arrival. Location can also play a part. When a growing family has moved to another city or town, it makes sense for their new friends to throw a shower, regardless of how many children the parents have.



I have no idea where you found you mis-information but you're wrong and I'm right.



I can't seem to find a direct quote from Miss Manners although a lot of sites list her. Please learn to read more thoroughly.



Miss Manners says a different name should be used for what?

Malinda - posted on 08/11/2009

385

4

41

((shrugs)) Both Emily Post and Miss Manners disagree with you (assuming, of course, that nobody is hosting their *own* shower, but then that has nothing to do with pregnancy #, and MM does say that a different name should be used, but nowhere implies that there should not be gifts if the well-wishers chose to bring them). Frankly, they have a little more credibility for me in the etiquette department.

Angela - posted on 08/11/2009

11

20

0

There is an exception to every rule. If you have a number of years between baby number 1 and baby number 2 you might need some things. Also if you have 2 different sexes you might have more than one baby shower. Most of the people who came to my baby shower for my 1st son kept asking if we were having one for our 2nd son (4 years b/w the 2). My 2nd son was due June 4th but came May 9th surprising us all. So instead of a shower each visitor just brought something for my new little one. Most also brought a small something for his big brother so he didn't feel left out. I say whatever feels right to you. All children are a blessing and should be celebrated in some way.

Johnny - posted on 08/11/2009

8,686

26

318

I agree Sharon. The only other circumstance I could see is having a "clothing only" shower for a mom who is having an opposite sex child. All my daughter's clothes for under 6 mos. are gender neutral, so I won't have that problem, but some moms have everything in pink or blue & need a little help replenishing the wardrobe.

Ashley - posted on 08/11/2009

858

17

40

ya i do have to agree with you sharon. my two are only 14 months apart so i still had everything from my first son. my 2nd ended up being another boy so i needed absolutely nothing. when he was born my grandparents , parents, siblings all went out andbought him a few little outfits. my family also beleives in one shower unless like you said the babies are years apart. a couple wks after he was born we had a family bbq to celebrate his birth but there we no gifts. everyone just got together to see him and have some food!..

Charlie - posted on 08/11/2009

11,203

111

401

I think a Mummy shower sounds great , any woman who goes through it again deserves a gift dammit ! LOL

[deleted account]

i didnt want a baby shower... but my sister and mother surprised me by flying accross the country and hosted a baby shower for me. i found out 3 days before hand!!



i was given a heap of invitations to hand to the girls at my work... i wrote on them "gifts optional, just come and enjoy some afternoon tea with me"... i felt a bit rude asking for gifts with only 2 days notice to the girls... especially as my shower was the day after

ANZAC day... poor hungover ladies still dragged their arse there... thats friendship!!



surprisingly i got HEAPS of gifts... i made sure i was so thankful to everyone who gave me something!



i am in agreeance with not having a baby shower for a second baby... i like the idea of a mummy shower... where people come and shower the mother in special gifts!!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms